Falan still wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing.

Oh, yes, she had known a long time in advance that this was going to happen. Arba had made it very clear what she wanted to do with any new Magi born into the world from here on out, so it had been inevitable. But when Arba had first frozen, wide-eyed, as the great surge of rukh that signified the awaited birth rushed through her head, and then ordered Ithnan to lead his men out east to claim their prize, Falan hadn't been able to share her excitement. Even now, when the frenzy in their domain had died down, leaving only mass satisfaction, all she found that she could feel were stomach-turning nerves.

The mission had been a success, the whispers around her said, the child was here with them, it was here…

It belonged to them now. But what troubled Falan was, what exactly would that mean? For it, and for her? She knew full well how Arba treated her children by blood: like objects that belonged to her and her alone, to be used however she pleased. Surely, the newborn Magi was in her arms right now, and would be considered no different in that respect. However, for all her talk about taking ownership of it for al-Thamen, she had never actually spoken with Falan about exactly how this would work. And it wasn't as if she hadn't been preparing for this day, too, on her own. Maybe…Maybe –

"My, my, don't you look broody today?"

Falan jumped, badly, her head whipping around so fast she swore she heard something crack.

"Wha - ?" It only took her another second to recognize the woman leaning in her doorway, arms crossed and smirking, and her confused expression was immediately replaced with a tired one. "Arba, please get out of my room."

"Oh? But why would I? I've brought something for you."

Gyokuen stepped inside, moving her arms slightly, and Falan's eyes widened as she realized they weren't crossed, she was holding something – specifically, something tiny wrapped in a thick red blanket. "A-Arba…Is that…?"

"Yes, such a lovely gift, isn't he?" Gyokuen said. "Come here and look, it's all right."

Cautiously, Falan got up off her bed and crept closer, as Gyokuen pulled back a corner of the blanket to give her a better look as she peered down. It was the baby's eyes that caught her attention first; they were strikingly red, bright under his thick shock of black hair, and already seemed as if they were trying to focus on one of the faces above him. He looked a bit tinier than most other newborns she'd seen, true, and was about as worse for wear; he must be only a couple hours old, she remembered. But even so, she could see no flaws in him, none at all.

"Cute little thing, isn't he?" Gyokuen remarked, smiling at the way Falan was staring. "His name is Judal."

"Oh…" She hadn't thought at all about names, she realized, but it figured that Arba had already decided on one.

Gyokuen laughed lightly. "Honestly, Falan, you look like I just slapped you. And here I thought you would be excited. Don't you like him?"

Before Falan could answer, the baby started to whimper and squirm in Gyokuen's arms. At the sound, Falan instinctively lifted her hands towards him, but stopped when her fingertips brushed her leader's sleeve, remembering where she was.

But Gyokuen just smiled. "I said it was all right, didn't I? Go on. Take him."

With a small noise of agreement, Falan nodded, and reached out to take the baby into her arms. She held him as gently as she could, ran a light finger over his hairline. The warm, soft weight in her arms sent a pleasant, peaceful feeling washing over her, and a tiny smile made its way onto her face.

"Hello, Judal," she cooed, trying out the name on her tongue. It wasn't her favorite choice, but she supposed it would do.

"I'm glad you two are taking so well to each other, because he'll be staying with you for quite a while."

"What?" Falan looked back up at Gyokuen, genuine surprise on her face. "You don't want to…?"

"Well, don't put it like that. You make me sound careless," Gyokuen said, crossing her arms and looking at Falan sharply, though Falan knew she couldn't actually have been offended. "It may not have occurred to you, Falan, but I don't have the unlimited leisure time that you do. Not only do I have to command all of our forces around the world, but I also have my duties as empress to attend to. Those happen to be very important jobs that tend to sap my time and energy."

But at the mention of her role as empress, Falan smirked, understanding. "It wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that you're already stuck with two children at home and can't handle a sudden third?"

In a different time, she would have burst into laughter at the utterly exhausted look on Gyokuen's face. "Listen," she sighed, rubbing her forehead as if staving off a headache. "Hakuei is the sweetest, most darling child one could ever hope to have, but she's still just a toddler, and you know as well as I do that those are a handful whether they mean to be or not. And then there's Hakuren - "

"A handful and a half."

"Oh, you tease me now?"

"Well, is it not true?"

"That boy…I thought I'd get a break when Hakuyuu got old enough to go on campaign with his father, but even without his brother, Hakuren manages to cause enough trouble for two. Much as I enjoy creating them, I don't think I'll be having my next child until he's old enough to leave the palace, too."

"So Judal is mine, then?" she asked; casually enough, she thought, but the smile dropped from her face when the sharp, imperious look returned to Gyokuen's, and the empress stood straight again.

"No, Falan, he is not. He was brought here to serve al-Thamen, not to please you. If you're going to keep him, then you'd better remember that. Will you?"

"Y-Yes, Arba, I will. I just misspoke." At any other time, she would have punctuated the sentence with something snappish, but she wasn't in the mood to antagonize her leader any further. "Thank you, for trusting me."

Gyokuen's face went blank for an instant, then reverted back to her usual blandly kind expression, though Falan didn't think for a second that her smile was genuine anymore. "That's good to hear, Falan; I would hate for there to be a miscommunication between us. I'll leave you be for now, but I will be back to check up on you both soon."

With that, she turned and strode out of the room, shutting the door behind her and leaving Falan alone in the dark again.

No…No, not alone, she amended, her attention now wholly devoted to the child in her arms. Judal looked up at her as if trying to discern who she was, Falan thought. He squirmed in his blanket, nuzzling closer to her chest and whimpering softly.

"Oh…You're hungry, aren't you?" she realized. They had, most likely, taken him before he'd been able to taste his birth mother's milk. "And Arba can't do it; Hakuei was weaned a year ago."

The baby whined louder, on the verge of crying, and she rocked him gently, moving back over to her bed. "Shhh, shh, shh…Just give me a second…"

She returned to her still-warm spot on the back corner of her bed, shifting Judal to one arm so she could tug down the front of her shirt, holding the baby closer and letting him find her breast.

Strictly speaking, Arba, possessive as she was, had made it clear that Falan was not allowed to do this with any of her children, but if sometimes she happened to be out, Falan in, and one of the babies needed to be fed…Well. What Arba didn't know, wouldn't hurt Falan. After so long, it was easy; she knew how to prepare. And when Arba had first mentioned the other day that she had felt the rukh starting to really stir as if in anticipation, and that they would need to be ready to leave at a moment's notice if her instincts were right, she had begun. Her fingers to her chest at night, arousing, stimulating…

Ah. A small noise escaped her as she felt the tiny mouth latch on, and her milk begin to flow. She closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall, softly stroking Judal's hair. For a moment, she did not think, only felt. For that moment, she breathed in clean, fresh air instead of thick underground must, there were muscle-bound arms and a strong chest at her back instead of cold stone walls, and the damp, downy hair under her fingers was fiery red instead of coal-dust black. It felt like home.

A calm, satisfied smile crawled onto Falan's face, and she hummed absently as the newborn continued to nurse. A tune from centuries past, a lullaby long forgotten by this world.

Let Arba give whatever orders she wanted. She could not change the fact that Judal was different than all of her other children, different than any other child in the world, in fact. Perhaps he did not belong to Falan, but he didn't belong to Arba, either. There was no one she had to return him to, no bond of blood between him and another woman to keep her away, make her an outsider trying to steal what wasn't hers. She would care for him dutifully, perfectly. She would keep him safe, make him strong, ensure that –

(no lick of flame would ever touch his body, she would never hear him screaming crying begging her to save him)

– he would grow up to serve al-Thamen well.

And he'll look at me like that child did…He'll be mine again, nothing will ever separate us…

"You'll like that, won't you?" she whispered, without opening her eyes. Her smile didn't falter. "My boy…Mine…Forever."

~0~

Gyokuen had to admit, this was an interesting change.

It was only a few days until little Judal's third birthday. She had decided he would be allowed to start learning magic at four, and she knew that to a child, one year must seem like an eternity, but she was certain that the preparations for that day would go smoothly. The boy had been incredibly eager about it ever since he'd first understood what it meant, and he had been immersed in magic since the day he was born. They had all made sure of that, but by far the one most enthusiastic about it was Falan.

She watched them now, from a fair distance, as she often did when she could. (She knew Falan, knew how deep the cracks in her mind ran and how, if not properly reminded, she could easily forget the difference between what she desired and what was real. Any connection she made with Judal had to be closely monitored.) The two of them were playing in one of the back gardens of the palace, Falan winding rapid spirals of water in the air while Judal splashed and jumped at them. Judal's grin was as infectious as always, it seemed: she hadn't seen a smile like that on Falan's unveiled face in a long time.

Father above, it brought back memories. Long-buried and unimportant ones, true, but not altogether unpleasant.

A tug at the neckline of her dress brought Gyokuen back to reality before any of them could really be dwelt on, and she smiled. She may have been focusing on Falan and Judal for the past while, but the six-month-old at her hip only had eyes for her.

"Oh, Hakuryuu, I didn't forget you," she assured him, reaching up to pet his hair. "How could I ever?" Hakuryuu giggled and grabbed at her hand, looking up at her with big, innocent blue eyes, and she smiled.

"You're special, you know," she went on (not bothering to keep her voice down, the only others around to hear already knew her secret). "All the other children I've had, Falan loved to take care of them, like an endless line of cute little dolls. She'd lose interest and start ignoring them once they survived past four years old, but before that, when they're still very little like you, she'll usually be all over them if I let her. But when you were born? She couldn't have cared less! She was still obsessing over Judal; she didn't want anything to do with you. Can you believe that?!" she finished, with exaggerated shock.

Hakuryuu didn't seem to care one bit. "Mama!" he chirped happily.

"You're right, of course that doesn't matter," she laughed. "She can waste her time with Judal all she wants; he'll never be hers, anyway. At least, he'll never be who she really wants."

Gyokuen looked back over at Falan, who had now switched over to Wind Magic and was letting Judal hop and float in the air, letting him mimic Gravity Magic for just a few seconds and making him laugh in the wild way only an elated child can. She saw the happiness shining in their eyes, as if there was nothing in the world to worry about, and an edge of cruelty tainted her smile. She knew what they both must be thinking, and knew that it didn't mean a thing. For now, she would not reach out to pull Falan out of her delusions. If she only sank further into them, it was her own fault; she'd had a thousand years to get over herself.

Either way, whatever this was would end in a few short years, when Judal's body became strong enough to undergo the conversion ritual. After that, nobody would be able to ignore the boy's true purpose in life, and the illusions Falan had built up around him would be shattered.

Everyone would know who truly owned him, soon enough.

"But we already know better. Right, Hakuryuu?" She turned away from Falan and Judal, focusing all her attention on her son. "Who cares if she ignores you? She doesn't know what she's missing out on. And you know who you really belong to, don't you, darling?"

Hakuryuu neither knew nor cared what his mother's sweet voice was saying. He was still giggling and babbling to himself, trying to throw his tiny arms around Gyokuen's neck in an excited hug. "Maaa-ma, mama, ma…"

"That's right, you adorable thing," she cooed, cuddling him close and kissing the top of his head. "I get to keep you all to myself! You and your brothers and your sister, you're all mine. Now, isn't that wonderful?"