Alternatively titled: Toru never had to put up with anything like this in Uzushio.

Toru hums as he finishes his packing for his next mission. The mission, technically, doesn't require him to pack anything. It should be a simple in and out mission, steal something and then drop it off to the client and return to Konoha. Toru, though, knows with his luck something will happen and the mission will turn to disaster.

It isn't like all his missions have had some unexpected to them, and there only appears to be one bad mission every three or so weeks. It's enough to make Toru paranoid, though. It gives him an edge and reminds him of his time as an ANBU where he always needed to be on edge. He's starting to feel more like who he had been – power and strength and determined, but also cautious.

It's almost funny (and one learns to find these things funny when death is at one's doorstep constantly), it's only through the attacks, through relearning the dangers of the world and weaknesses of oneself, that Toru has regained the edge he lost in death, regained his ANBU persona and mindset – but not quite become him yet. They aren't quite two halves or different sides of a coin, but they are different in subtle ways. They are the same, of course, but ANBU is protection first and foremost and emotions pushed aside whereas Toru is protection and mercy entwined with emotions yet capable of making decisions.

It isn't like missions don't always go bad, anyway. Situations can change quickly and the intelligence gathered isn't always old nor is it always gathered. The problem, Toru thinks, is that he's the one who keeps finding the missions harder. Normally without information, a ninja has to just do their mission and hope for the best and go off their client's knowledge – but something odd always happens and it's…

It's like they know where I am, Toru realises, indignant, and all anger and hate and worry because this is Konoha's corruption, Konoha's sinister side, at work. It's targeting Toru, aiming to attack and kill and Toru is only living because of who he is. Something is out to kill him, and he doesn't think it's because of his position. The changes he's been making–

Konoha was a still pond, ripples only surfacing when the wind gusted over, which wasn't often. Toru's made waves and turned it into a pond where things can be seen, where things can't be hidden. He's upset the balance and made enemies but he had been doing the right thing. Anything after him is the enemy, but that enemy lays hidden in Konoha.

Toru is an ANBU though. He's dealt with traitors before. He's put them down. He will sniff out this one because while Konoha may not be his village, people he cares for live there. Worry gnaws at Toru with that thought, because what if this enemy attempts to use Sasuke or Naruto to manipulate Toru? Except, Toru knows he won't stand for it. He will sink into the shadows and kill from the darkness and he will have his family back and safe. Plus, Naruto is in a safe position due to his status in the village, and Sasuke… well, if he disappeared Naruto would start talking and the enemy probably doesn't want that. They should be safe, but Toru will still try to find this enemy quickly.

Majority of the missions Toru's taken in the past year have only required one ninja, but there are few others where Toru works with one other ninja or on a team. He's growing into his strength just as he's growing his strength.

Toru, slightly weary from his last mission yesterday, still goes when he is called. He's quickly told he's received a new mission, C-ranked, and partnered with an older, more experienced chūnin, and so four hours into the afternoon, Toru is waiting by Konoha's main gate for his partner.

"Toru Uchiha?" Someone calls, and Toru turns on silent feet to see his partner. He nods. "I'm Shizuka Kita, your partner and leader for this mission."

"Pleasure to meet you Kita-san," Toru greets, taking in the other ninja. The shinobi is in normal Konoha uniform, complete with chūnin vest, and has his hitai-ate wrapped around his arm. He has short black hair and is taller than Toru by quite a bit, older as well.

"The pleasure is all mine," Shizuka returns. "Shall we head on out?"

Toru sweeps his eyes around and nods. His eyes catch on a pair of boys in the distance, black against yellow, orange against dark blue, and then he's turning and the two ninjas are gone.

They run silently and quickly. The mission is not one with a time constraint, thankfully, and Toru frowns as he forces himself to keep moving at a rapid speed, his muscles aching from his last mission. He concentrates on the repetitive movements, and sinks into focussing on each step and the leap between one branch and the next. His movements are silent – he is a ninja – and each movement is steady. He concentrates on only using a trickle of chakra, because he doesn't want to leave a chakra path to follow, or – at least – not an easy one to follow. Falling into a rhythm is easy, and soon Toru allows his mind to take him elsewhere.

He thinks about the seals on his right bicep and what they contain within them. One has all of Toru's survival gear along with extra weapons, while the other holds a fake corpse – which Toru has a reason for. It had been the jama-mono's idea and it is a good one. Toru's gotten used to using the Gekitai Suru Clan in fights against fire ninjutsu uses, mainly as a shield. The Clan suggested that Toru create something like a fake corpse so he can catch his opponent unawares, after Toru had mentioned it as a joke, and it had become an actual plan with input from the jama-mono.

They're running next to each other when it happens. Toru flicks his eyes away from the path, checking the sky above to see dark heavy clouds and Toru knows it's going to rain soon. They're somewhere east, almost along the border, (almost at Uzushiogakure).

Toru silently screams as a sword cuts through his skin and muscle. He grunts, and leaps backward, and dark eyes widen when they see their enemy comrade.

(He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand. Why is this happening? Why did they turn on him? Is he a traitor? He gave no signs. Why would he kill Toru? There's no reason, no cause. He doesn't understand. WHY?)

Toru presses a hand against his stomach, and it quickly turns red. He calls up his chakra, angry and hurt, and it surges forward at his control but then the other shinobi flicks through a set of hand seals and ends on tiger. Toru allows his chakra to surge into three seals – two are summoning seals, one is not.

The Gekitai Suru Clan just manage to get in front of the flames as the fiery dragon tries to swallow Toru. Toru leaves behind the fake corpse and leaps back into the forest, utilises a henge, activates the Attention Redirection Seal on his right arm, and moves further back into the forest.

"Gather information," Toru breathes out, his words almost silent, to the other cockroach who had been summoned but doesn't belong to the Gekitai Suru Clan. "I'll call you back, stick with him."

Toru sinks back further into the forest, and stiffens as the other shinobi approaches the faux corpse. The shinobi's face contains no emotion as they check the corpse, before burning it, and Toru – with the flick of a brown tail – starts moving through the undergrowth. As a squirrel, the deep cut still shows up on his stomach, and Toru hopes that the shinobi doesn't see the small blood trail Toru is leaving behind.

When Toru can no longer sense the other shinobi and thinks they aren't close, he loses the henge. He stands on his feet for less than a second, before falling to his knees. He unseals his survival gear and grabs the medical kit, leaving bloody handprints everywhere. He pulls out the bandages, and pulls his top up and does his best to tightly bandage the life-threatening wound.

His heart is pounding in his chest and Toru doesn't feel like he can move. He doesn't want to heal himself, which he could but also shouldn't in case anyone senses the chakra and comes to investigate. The world around him continues to spin, and Toru shivers and tries to breathe.

(He doesn't understand, he is loyal. He would give everything for Konoha, would protect Konoha, so why did they turn on him? He doesn't understand.)

This is the second time Toru is dying in this life, and this could easily be the would that finally kills him for good. No one will look for him and no one will be overly surprised that he was killed with his bad luck in missions recently and the constant attacks he has weathered.

(What about Sasuke? What about Naruto? What about Shou? What about Kiku? What about Iruka? Would they care? And if they do care… will they realise something doesn't make sense? He doesn't want to leave Sasuke and Naruto alone, but… but death's embrace is something he almost wants.)

Breathing is starting to become a struggle, and Toru lets his eyes close, because maybe it's time to stop. He's been alive for a while, he's seen a lot and experienced even more. He's thirty-three and thirteen years, and has almost lived fifty years in total. He's suffered through wars and torture, through betrayals and dead teammates. He has died in a village brought down and lived in another where his family was massacred.

He is tired. It's a truth that he's been almost denying, but not quite. He is tired of living, of life, of trying and failing. He is tired of betrayal after betrayal and trusting, only to have his trust broken. He has lived where teammates have died. He has failed. He has failed so many people, so many of his people. He has failed his parents, his Uzushio genin teammate and sensei, his Konoha sensei, his ANBU team, and Shisui. His cousin who has always believed in him and told him to be careful, to be hidden, to be ready, to watch out.

He constantly fails, and he's tried again and again but nothing has changed. He still fails. They still die. Everything is still wrong. He's tired of everything, of this, of life, of trust betrayed and promises broken and loyalty ignored.

This world is not nice or good and he knows this, but he's tried to change the bit of the world he controls. This is all he is given in response – broken trust, ignored loyalty. His story started in Uzushio and it moved to Konoha and it will die here, in the trees somewhere east in Hi no Kuni, and he will die due to a teammate turning on him, turning against him. He will die because Konoha ordered his death.

(He will die and he will be thankful.)

Toru's eyes close. White bandages continue to be stained by dark red. A heart falters and beats weakly. Rapid breathing starts becoming shallow.

(Is a mind broken, a soul dead, a body dying?)

Over the past year, ever since the change in the Academy curriculum and system, Sasuke's developed a 'loner' status by others who don't really know him. It's not his fault – well, it is to some extent but Sasuke adamantly denies that – but Naruto is his only friend, and the only reason he became friends with Naruto is through Toru, and Sasuke really doesn't know how to make friends. He can converse with others, but conversations always seem stilted and awkward unless he has someone there to fill in the gaps. It frustrates Sasuke, sometimes, because he doesn't want to seem like a person who no one can talk to. He's fine with just Naruto as his friend, because he has Toru, and – he supposes – Iruka, Shou and Kiku. Still, people keep a wary distance from him and it makes him frustrated and then worried because what if they think he's another Itachi (kin murderer)?

Although, Sasuke has to wonder, how he managed to become known as a loner when Naruto is so often by his side, a bumbling ball of sunshine who never stops speaking? Sasuke has to acknowledge though, it's probably because of the fact that he and Naruto don't share every class, which is saddening but Sasuke's grateful for it too, because he spends most of his hours with Naruto and he doesn't know if he could do it all the time.

The Academy system is a bit awkward, simply due to the fact that everyone's classes is shuffled depending on their knowledge and how good their teachers have been. Despite it being Sasuke's fourth year, it doesn't mean that Sasuke is in what's technically the fourth year class for all his subjects. As classes are based more on skill and knowledge then anything, Sasuke jumps between third year and fifth year.

English is a class that everyone smoothly moves into, so Sasuke is still with majority of his classmates from the previous year. English hasn't changed too much, but the way it's taught and what's taught when has changed. The first three years are used for standard reading and writing and all that, (honestly, Sasuke hadn't been paying attention when they first went through the new study design for English). The fourth and fifth years are now used for teaching things like verbal reports and map drawing for during missions and after missions; and Sasuke has no idea why they call the class English when clearly it isn't. Fifth year also includes dealing with mission scrolls and written reports, along with reporting in different situations. Meanwhile, English doesn't go for all his Academy years so Sasuke only has one and a bit years left of English, which is great because the class is a bore.

Thankfully, Sasuke tests out of Geography, which only runs for the first three years. Annoyingly, Naruto doesn't so Sasuke always ends up hearing about stupid kids who are so much younger and Naruto always seems to have so much, (Toru says he's jealous and Sasuke tells Toru he's wrong, and to sod off – it wasn't worth saying that, as Toru ended up responding stupidly in an idiotic manner and chucking Sasuke over his shoulder and dancing around the apartment). On the other hand, at least they're both in the same history class – fourth year, which focusses on the Second War, with the previous year concentrating on the First War, with second year covering the Clan War Era, and first year being about Konoha's founding. Sasuke gets to look forward about learning the Third War next year and his final year is spent on going over Konoha's history in detail.

Sasuke's best achievement is getting into fifth year Taijutsu. The first and second years are all about physical training with a focus on flexibility, strength, and stamina, while also teaching people how to swim. The third and fourth – where Naruto is stuck but seems determined to rise to the same level as Sasuke – years are where students finally start learning the Academy styles, while fifth and sixth years are a mix of training in the Academy style and sparring in different conditions including underwater.

Sasuke's ability with taijutsu, due to Toru's training, manages to get Sasuke into the advanced class for Taijutsu as well, but only fourth year advanced – which is all about harsher physical training. However, Sasuke's looking forward to future years in the class as he gets to learn more taijutsu styles that are more advanced and gets helped to find a style specific for him.

The really awkward class is Chakra Basics and Ninjutsu, which is one class. The old Academy system taught everyone the Academy Three, while the new system only teaches the Academy Three in the last three years, spending the first three years on information regarding chakra. The old Academy system didn't really allow for much of the information on chakra to be taught, and so everyone who was in Sasuke's class – including Naruto – previously have go to classes with students younger than them along with classes for fourth year.

Thankfully, nothing like that happens with Genjutsu class, Weaponry class, First Aid class, and Ninja class, where Sasuke gets put in fourth year along with the majority of his classmates, although Naruto gets pushed into third year for Genjutsu class. The only exception to this is Expectation class, which had previously been called Kunoichi class, but the new Headmaster had disagreed with only females taking the class. The class itself has the potential to be quite interesting. It goes from second year to fifth year. First year of the class focusses introduced how ninjas needed to blend in in numerous situations, and the different expectations between civilian and ninjas concentrating on gender. It also includes how ninjas are expected to use their bodies to complete their missions. The next year concentrates on teaching students mannerisms for opposite genders and the differences in acting like a civilian in comparison to a ninja – and this is the year Sasuke gets stuck in, but at least he's still in a higher year than Naruto. If the Academy system had always been the updated one, then Sasuke would be a year above what he is, and he would learn languages that can be used subtly, such as poetry or flowers.

The other additional classes Sasuke geos to, based on teacher recommendations, are Advanced Weaponry and Advanced Genjutsu. Meanwhile, Naruto gets shoved into Chakra Control class – which Sasuke constantly uses to insult the other and also to get a good laugh out of it, and ultimately the pair will end up wrestling – and got himself into Sabotage class, which is an additional class for those who do really well in trap-setting and stealth. Sasuke has to admit, when he was called to the older Headmaster's – the idiotic chūnin who used to run the Academy but got himself imprisoned – office, he never expected this to be the ultimate result. He has to admit, he hasn't found himself hating it.

(And if he's managed to find a few people he can put up with and doesn't mind talking to, well, that's for him and his family to know about.)

It's dark, wherever he is, but even as he realises this, it changes. Beneath his feet ripples flow outward as black turns to dark blue and then fade to a lighter blue. He stands on water, on an ocean, and the water stretches out to the horizon, and the water lifts and swells with waves.

It's his appearance that catches his attention; the reflection in the water at odds to the last time he saw himself. His skin is darker than normally is – like it had once been in a previous life; however, the seal-tattoos that stand out are familiar by now, although the scars are familiar in the way that his skin colour is. His eyes, once dark, are blue-green and they remind him of the ocean. His hair falls down to his shoulders, reddish-brown strands almost wavy in appearance. He's taller than he had been, not quite up to his height when he had been Toru Mizushima, but not as short as he is as Toru Uchiha. He looks much like any Uzushio native, but despite that his face structure looks more Uchiha than Mizushima – all delicate lines and his body structure is similar, no longer as broad or strong as it had been. For all that the differences are there, though, they are similar.

This place is familiar, Toru realises as his attention moves on from his changed appearance. It is familiar in a way but Toru knows he has never been here – if here is an actual place. It is lonely too, but he doesn't feel alone. This place is desolate, yes, but it is quiet and peaceful.

(He failed them and he doesn't want to face them. He is fearful because he has much to fear, and he regrets that he hasn't succeeded but he tries, and maybe that means something.)

Thoughts or maybe emotions (because that's how they spoke in a place like this but unlike this) summon things – things because he doesn't want to know, but, no, he needs to know, one can't hide things from oneself as a ninja, it creates bad habits. People appear – well, not quite appear, because despite the fact they are gone one moment and then there the next, it feels like a gradual process, and maybe that's why he finds himself feeling safe (and it's a weird feeling – has he really been on edge for so long that he's forgotten what it feels like?).

The people – two of them, a couple, (memories not-long-past surge forward like a rogue wave) – could be a dream, a hallucination, a genjutsu and that means Toru is captured by enemies and if he has no want to face them right now, so surely there's no reason why Toru shouldn't linger.

There's a heartbeat in Toru, blood thrums through his veins, and he wants to ignore who they are, what they mean to him, but… but they're his parents, and for all that he lost the close connection between his mother and him, they are blood. He understands that what happened was due to loss and grief, but he accepted his resentment and although it is there, he understands it, accepts it, acknowledges it, and brushes it aside.

The couple, his parents, step forward and he wants to step back, but he stands and braces himself, because this is more than him facing his failures, surely – this could be a gift… This is like when he was dead and Uzushiogakure came to him, spoke-not-spoke to him. This could be something similar, or maybe there's something else at hand here, a hidden kunai in the shadows, but Toru doesn't want to believe that.

Yori Uchiha, formerly Yori Uzumaki, reaches out, and pulls Toru into him, kin hugging kin. Toru is stiff, still, but there's something like resignation in the way he moves. "You did well," his father whispers to him, like it's a secret, and there's pride in that voice – pride he doesn't understand because what has he done that someone can be proud of? "You did not fail." He steps back, short red hair gleaming in the sun and sometime while Toru's been here, a sky has formed.

"I'm sorry," Satomi Uchiha says, and she meets his gaze, brown eyes sad and soft and guilty. "I'm sorry for what I did after Yori passed, but I am proud for who you have become, for what you have managed. You are so strong, Toru. We may not be your first parents, but we love you regardless. You are our blood, despite lives lived previously."

Toru swallows, because this is something real, he thinks, and emotions try to swallow him and maybe his eyes water but maybe they don't. He closes his eyes and allows himself to fold inward, losing his stance that was made for strength, made for resilience, because he doesn't need that here. He can be who he is – tired and weary.

"I'm sorry too," he whispers, words a secret he has never said aloud. "I'm sorry too."

Satomi laughs, a bright chuckle that has his father grinning, and they are in love and it is beautiful. "You were but a child, unknowing of who you had once been. Still, thank you," she responds. "I am proud of you, no matter what you do. You have come so far."

"You have helped Konoha, despite the village not being your village," his father continues. "You have created a family out of an orphan with a terrible burden and a child who tried to hold hate and rage in his heart, and you have healed them. You have helped so many people – and even more in your previous life. That might have happened before us, but we are proud. You cannot shame us, no matter what you do."

"We will always love you," Satomi assures her son, and Toru can't speak, and there's a hand on his shoulder and it's familiar but something he hasn't felt for years, and he leans into the touch. The touch disappears as two people step around him so he can see them.

"That's what parents do," Ama Mizushima assures Toru, and Toru smiles, helpless in the face of love from two sets of parents. Next to his previous mother stands Eiji Mizushima, once Eiji Inoue, and kind eyes meet Toru's and Toru can't do anything in the face of them, can't even speak for fear of breaking down and simply crying and he doesn't want to do that here.

"Remember you have been strong, but strength does not last every day, all day," Eiji says. "It is alright to lean on others," he continues softly. "We will always be proud of you and we will always love you."

Toru bows his head, "I love you as well," he murmurs, and despite the quiet tone his parents hear him, share smiles, and then they're stepping away.

Toru reaches out to them, because now that he has experienced companionship and love, he doesn't want to return to the loneliness that once was peaceful but won't be with his current mindset. "It's alright Toru," Ama says.

"There are others coming," Yori says confusingly, but Toru allows them to walk away, but they don't go too far. Toru does not feel like he is being watched or that he needs to be on edge – it's a good feeling.

There's a new group and Toru is confused by how they're appearing, and also realising that everyone here so far is dead. Toru knows this group, and he grins widely, because how can he not in the face of more family?

"You know when I said let's hope that one of us lives, I didn't mean that one of us needs to be reincarnated," Ayumu says in greeting, a smile light with laughter on her face.

"You didn't mean to die before Uzushio started the evacuation either," Toru returns, because Ayumu's death has always weighed on him, and he has always felt like a failure as he never caught who killed her.

"You did everything you could," Ayumu says sternly, and she has forgiven him if she ever thought there was something to forgive. "You focussed on getting our people out, and that's what I wanted. Live with what has happened, for it has happened."

Toru tilts his head and doesn't respond because he doesn't have anything to respond with. "Don't be so hard on yourself," he gets told by Isaki Fujii. "Honestly, you would have thought you learnt by now. "Things aren't always in your control brat. You were on a team with this lot," she adds with a wave, encompassing both Ayumu and Mika, "you should know very well how sometimes you don't need to control everything."

Toru rolls his eyes, "I resent being called a brat," he responds, but he's also smiling and it's filled with gratitude.

"You'll always be a brat," Isaki responds with a scoff before heading over to the others already here.

"Don't be afraid," Mika adds, forever an enigma who lives to confuse Ayumu and Toru with the simplest things and keep their lives lively, along with acting like the perfect genin for their sensei despite being the devil incarnate. "No, really, don't be, it's annoying to watch you be all angsty and everything. You're loved and we're proud of you Toru, and yeah, maybe you fail things but you're human."

"Humans are flawed but we've got points that make up for it," Ayumu adds. "You've failed people, you've failed yourself but you've achieved so much and helped others. Keep being you, no matter what changes. You are an Uzukage," Ayumu continues, lifting her chin and Toru responds as he always does, matching her, "and don't you forget that."

"Yeah, and you got it after Ayumu," Mika adds with a snort. "How does that make you feel?"

Ayumu squawks in outrage, punches Mika and jerks her away with a faint goodbye and continues to argue with their third teammate. "I finally understand why you dealt so well with Shou and Kiku," Natsumi says in an amused tone.

"Well, now you know," Toru says, meeting the gaze of his Konoha genin sensei, and maybe it's the tone of his voice or the tilt of his head, but Natsumi hums.

"I do," she says, and they both know it's more than Toru's simple reincarnation – although there's nothing simple about it. "You've done well," she says. "Always knew there was something special about you, of course, I am surprised as I never expected this, but, well, leaves at the bottom of the leaf pile and all that. Look after yourself kid," she says before stalking off, and Toru really wonders why he's surprised with the calmness she took everything. She was his sensei after all.

He hasn't broken yet, because his feeling of failure is slowly being wiped from him – it'll come back though, as it tends to do. However, he has something to fight it with now. Even so, he can feel something bubbling beneath his skin, maybe hysteria or potentially something he might call sentiment for everyone here.

He doesn't plan on breaking down, because he's sure that while such a thing would be accepted by the people here, he doesn't accept it. It'll make him feel weak and useless and drained, and he hates feeling like that. Except… except there are a trio of people around him and familiar despite the amount of time they spend in masks around one another.

His team has always been about Uzushio, which means about each other. Uzushio. He did the best he could, and it doesn't matter if they failed or if he failed because in the end, they all fell. He's swamped in a massive group hug before he can think anything more, and maybe he's crying because his team is here and Uzushio is gone and they're dead, and maybe it's something else.

"It doesn't matter," Tori – Kanko Tahara – tells him fiercely, and how can Toru believe anything else when his second is dead and still telling him things that aren't commands but might as well be? Toru – because he is Toru here just like how they aren't Tori, Tora, and Kame here but Kanko, Saya, and Mari – is accepted and he can break down because they have done so and he has done so as well, and they care for one another.

"It really doesn't," Saya says kindly, but that doesn't mean it feels kind to Toru who has always seen it as a failure and can't picture it any other way. "It doesn't matter," she repeats, and her eyes meet Toru's and they are strong – they are all strong, "because Uzushio is still alive and you're–! You're alive and living, Taichō, living – and so it Uzushio!"

"That's enough for us," Mari tells him, an arm wrapped around his back and a head resting on his shoulder and she is Kame but here she is human first and ANBU second. "It's enough for us, and we're so, so proud of you."

"You've gotten us so far, and you've gotten yourself so far," Kanko says again, a hand tightening around Toru's nape as a grounding force, and it's like a force of nature that Toru can't deny. He relaxes, completely, and his defences are all gone, stripped away because he is safe here, safe from any physical danger and the people here will care for him and look after him and will try to avoid creating any emotional damage. "You're an amazing captain, Taichō."

Toru barks out a broken laugh, because what an amazing captain he is – ordering them to leave without their captain, causing their deaths, allowing them to die. He drops his head and it falls onto Saya's shoulder.

"You're an amazing captain," Kanko reiterates, "and really, trust yourself some more and trust us some more. Yes, we know you trust us, but trust us more. Know that we follow you because we believe you're a good captain, and we know you'll do what's best by your morals and your rights, and you'll do what's necessary – and that's important."

"Live for yourself," Mari commands, "and maybe live for us as well, if you can carry that weight."

"Look after yourself," Saya chimes in, "we care about you and your wellbeing is important to us. We love you, okay? Don't ever doubt that. We don't care what you do – we're ANBU, we know that things are tough. We see and deal with the worst of things. We kill all kinds of people."

"The sea never dies," Kanko says, and this is the shinobi who had been his brother in another life, and he doesn't order or ask for anything but he wants the most from Toru – wants Toru to continue living, to continue surviving, to do whatever he wants and enjoy life.

Toru swallows, "Thank you," he whispers, "for everything." He's choking up and he's laughing then, loving too, because this is his family right here and they may be dead and it could be his fault but they love him regardless. They care, and they will continue to do so. There's one last group hug and then they're going, and Toru wonders if this is the end, because who else is there?

"Oh," Toru says, the word falling from his lips quietly, without his will but doing so anyway. The lack of control over himself can be forgiven, he thinks, because rarely – and he won't say it's impossible because he's fairly certain everything's possible – do people deal with the dead.

"Oh?" The teenager – man by experience, but teenager by age – parrots back, amused grin popping up on his face. "This is the first time you see me since my death and all you can say is 'oh'?"

Toru jolts forward, because for twelve years of his life, he has had one constant that has always loved him and it has always, always been Shisui. Arms are wrapped around his back and Shisui hums. They're almost the same height here, Toru slightly shorter but they manage to rest their heads on each other's shoulders. Toru thinks Shisui takes the same amount of comfort from the embrace as he does.

Shisui – sixteen years to his name (and that's all he ever had and as much as he hates what happened to him, he did it anyway because he – alike to Toru – had wanted it, subconsciously, but the wish had still been there) and experiences that don't quite go beyond sixteen years but count for something more – stares at his cousin, brushes long hair out of his eyes, and can't help but feel surprised, so, so surprised. Despite his surprise, he's extraordinarily sad at the path that Toru's been given, and how Shisui couldn't do anything, didn't do anything, and he never meant for this to happen, but he's glad. He's so glad that it is almost the only thing he can feel, along with a fire-hot emotion that feels like fierceness but doesn't have a name.

Shisui's happy, happy in such a way that it feels like it oozes from his pores. For all that Shisui is cheerful and prone to smiles and laughter, he is a shinobi, an ANBU at that. He knows how to put on a mask, and knows how he has to meet expectations, and how sometimes people need him to laugh loudly and brightly. It isn't all a mask, but it doesn't mean that it's all Shisui is either. It's been a while since Shisui has last felt like happiness is all he is, and that's how he feels right now. Along with joy, he's amazed at all Toru's done and all he's trying to do. Shisui's sad about what he's gone through, but he's happy too because it's what has allowed Toru to live.

"Y'know," Shisui says quietly, like he's telling a secret, and he is, "in ANBU, there were stories about this jackal masked shinobi in ANBU. I heard stories, brief and whispered, that were more hearsay than anything else, but that shinobi – the stories of that shinobi – became a hero almost, to others and me."

"I'm not a hero," Toru offers him, and Shisui smiles softly, lips turning up at the corners.

"Good," he counters, eyes catching the way Toru stiffens in surprise, "because ninjas aren't heroes, and as long as you aren't fooled by that, you'll do fine." Toru gifts Shisui with a smile in return, soft and gentle and loving. Shisui can't stop the widening grin on his face, because he just loves his cousin so much. "You've achieved so much," Shisui says strongly, not softly because he doesn't want to keep these words quiet, he wants to shout it out to the world more than anything, "and no matter what, I will love you and believe in you and I will forever be proud of you, Toru."

Toru lifts his chin and Shisui sees his blue-green eyes watering and he can feel the tears gathering in the bottom of his eyes as well. Toru matches Shisui and they are family, blood calling to blood, bonds calling to bonds, love calling to love. Shisui may be dead but Toru isn't, and Shisui is eternally grateful. However, his cousin is in danger, is dying – was dying? – and Shisui has given Toru something a while ago, and maybe it will help him here.

"I think you're ready," Shisui says. Everyone fades and the sea is lost beneath Toru's feet and the sky with its endless horizons stretching towards him disappears. The world is more than that, so Toru remains steady even as he finds himself shifting into another body, finds himself locked elsewhere and seeing something from his eyes.

A memory somehow comes back to him, breaking and fracturing first, but then it comes together like a puzzle. Shisui is staring at him with his sharingan blaring red and spinning. "Remember this when you are ready to," Shisui orders, before a worried look crosses his face, "I hope this works."

(Toru knows a thing or two about faith, about having nothing to work with and believing it'll work because it has to.)

Shisui speaks and tells Toru of things he knows, things he has guessed, and secrets that should lay deep and buried and never come into life. Toru learns and listens and watches as Shisui's shoulders hunch forward and words flooded with painful emotions are whispered to him, and everything aches within him to reach out and help but he can't because he is frozen.

In the end, Toru knows this – he knows everything Shisui knew about the mangekyō sharingan, something called the Curse of Hatred and more information regarding the Will of Fire, and ROOT.

(Toru learns of ROOT and the Uchiha coup d'état and remembers the massacre and he wonders.)

Toru wakes and is somewhere caught in between surprise at being alive and the warm feeling of being loved and knowing everyone who cares for him is proud of him. Something like acceptance and peace curls around him, lightening his shoulders and gifting him with a reason to live (how can he continue to be tired when there are people he cares for in danger? How can he continue to be weary when there's so much in life that he can do? Why should he die when the ocean tide sweeps on by and rogue waves rise and crash? Why should he be still when the sun still shines and the world calls out to him, still?). Still, there's an injury that needs to take care of, but it only takes Toru a few minutes to heal the gash to something that he can manage and won't kill him. He's still sore and he needs to be careful, but he's alive.

His chakra flickers and flares and Toru summons Tadashi from the Shita Clan. The cockroach appears in front of him, and Toru focusses on what needs to happen first before he can start his plans. "Tell Sasuke, Naruto, Shou, and Kiku to stay quiet about it but know that I'm not dead just yet, but that I need to do something and they need to be careful please. If you get to my apartment, Sasuke might be able to tell them all. Got that, Tadashi-san?"

"On it," the summon responds before – with a small flare of chakra – taking off and reaching speeds that Toru can't yet. Toru nods to himself, picks himself up off the ground, and starts heading to Konoha. He'll need to be careful, but first he needs to make a plan.

Naruto is with Sasuke when they learn of the news – that Toru is alive. Of course, none of this make senses and thankfully, Naruto explains this, in his usual clumsy manner that makes no sense. "Of course he is, he just left on a mission," Naruto explains, stressing the last word.

Tadashi, who Sasuke has met before – also with Naruto, sighs, "That's the message I was given," he explains patiently, and Sasuke applauds him on his efforts but he's learnt patience gets you nowhere with Naruto. "I have to deliver the same message to Kiku and Shou."

"We can do that," Sasuke interjects smoothly, before Naruto can speak again. "Thanks for your message." Tadashi nods and disappears in a puff of smoke, Naruto whirls on Sasuke.

"Do you think something's happened?"

Sasuke nods, "Yeah, but we have to be careful because something's up and Toru needs us safe," he explains. "Toru's been thinking something is corrupt in Konoha for a while now."

"So, we gotta, we gotta be like actual shinobis right?" Naruto asks, voice pulled from a shout to a loud whisper. Sasuke nods again. "Okay, we can do that! We gotta be really, really good ninjas."

"Gotta isn't a word," Sasuke whispers back, "and we need to act like everything's normal. Can you do that?"

Naruto rolls his eyes, "Yeah, can you manage?" He asks, because the last time they pulled a prank together it had been due to Sasuke's inability to act like someone other than who he is that they got caught.

"Yes," Sasuke responds as someone knocks on the door, "I was caught by surprise last time, that's all."

"Sure," Naruto says, clearly disbelieving and Sasuke wonders how the blonde haired boy ended up with such a sarcastic tone and mentally blames Toru. Naruto opens the door and grins at the trio behind it, but his face quickly falls when none can muster up a smile in response.

Sasuke instantly trades glances with Naruto, something normal but with the undertone of shouldwetellhim. Naruto nods and Sasuke tilts his head, but… he trusts Iruka because Toru trusts the older chūnin, so it should be relatively safe. "C'mon in," Naruto says, trying to push some of his usual cheerfulness into his voice.

"We've got some bad news," Iruka says gently, and Sasuke doesn't want to hear the news all strung out and maybe it'll be gentle and almost kind, but Sasuke doesn't need that. He turns and fixes his gaze on Shou, who he has always gotten along with best.

"Iruka-san," Shou says, cutting Iruka off. "Toru's been reported as killed in action by his mission partner."

"Toru is currently trying to find out what's corrupt in Konoha," Sasuke returns.

"We just got a message from him," Naruto explains, "a summons. He warned us to be careful and be quiet about everything. He's got something he needs to do."

"He's got suspicions about certain things and has had them for a while," Sasuke explains.

"His missions going so badly could be due to inside information," Kiku realises.

Something seems to settle over Iruka, but no one seems to notice except for Sasuke. Naruto appears to twitch, but other than that doesn't react. Sasuke wonders why Iruka feels familiar to Toru for a second there, when Toru is at his most dangerous – which normally occurs after a mission gone bad, a nightmare, or something else that Toru never speaks to him about.

"Will he be alright?" Kiku asks when no one says anything.

"Yes," Sasuke says. "If they didn't kill him when they had the chance, he'll ensure that they regret it. He'll be fine."

"Yeah!" Naruto says with a smile, hooking an arm around Sasuke's shoulders and jerking him sideways so the pair are leaning into each other. "Trust us!"

Missions gone wrong are something Toru has dealt with regularly, which shouldn't be happening. Everything seems to be going well until through a series of events Toru finds himself bleeding out in a forest, nowhere near home. Meanwhile, as Sasuke and Naruto enjoy the Ninja Academy, Toru finds himself visited by what's either a hallucination, a genjutsu, or something else entirely. He survives, but everyone's now on edge as the news of his death reaches Konoha (and the news of his not-death as well).

Woo, so I ended this chapter here simply because I didn't feel like getting into the next part in this chapter. So far, we've gotten through just over a quarter of the plot. That simply means I'll go through other possible plot points to add words to this book, though. I do have some things I can do.

So, yeah, this entire book will be about ROOT and Toru's attempt to take it down. I did leave hints of it in Sea Dreams - disappearing kids from the Academy and the streets, Toru's worries about something sinister in Konoha, and y'know the masked ninjas that attacked him.

I tried to kill Toru off again, my bad. I was planning to write third time's the charm or something, except this is my second attempt to kill him off, because the only other one that you guys all know about is when he actually died. Anyway, you see how confused he is about it all, which was a bit tricky to write and I'm not sure how well it worked out. Also, Toru's tiredness and - I don't know - not suicidal thoughts, but like just a kinda subconscious wish for death. Think about what he's gone through and everything, and he has not broken but he is tired, and just wants to sleep forever. I, too, just want to sleep forever right now, I'm actually exhausted, why the hell can I do things like sleep in and go to sleep when I want rather than lying awake for ages. Stupid body.

The Academy! How do you guys like it? I have plans for certain characters and everything for later regarding it. I have quite a bit typed out regarding the classes, and you see most of it here. There are quite a few additional classes left unmentioned, but that's because neither Sasuke or Naruto can take them right now or aren't suited to take them.

This is what I've been looking forward to for a while - Toru being revisited by dead people thingies. I'm going to allow you guys to all decide what exactly happened. I tried my best to write the characters in character, and since all but one was an original character, I like to think I succeeded. Toru Uchiha's parents are interesting, because his mother kinda became emotionally distant while his father died, and those kind of things leave scars. Meanwhile, I just created his Uzushio parents and it just worked out, I suppose. Toru meets his genin team from Uzushio and his sensei, and there was so much that could be said there, asked there - things like if his sensei made it out, who killed Ayumu, to remind Mika that she had been loved and ask why she left (despite the fact he understood). However, Toru understood it wasn't time for that and that it was time to let those things past. Toru's ANBU team, they're probably his family in reality. I was gonna say Kanko was his best friend but that's Ayumu so they ended up all counting as siblings.
Shisui, bloody hell, I hope he's in character. He's a hard one to write, so I hope this all worked out to kinda be like him. Also the sharingan thing, you can't tell me it wouldn't work. I mean, just look about everything that happened regarding the sharingan in canon. Also, I could've written out what Shisui said, but I didn't feel like it and I have a better plan anyway for it all to be revealed. Besides, Shisui didn't know about ROOT and the Uchiha, he only knew of the existence regarding ROOT and all that.

Sasuke and Naruto reappear and I realise how hard it is to show the changes and have them be kinda in canon character, so I hoped that work. Also, I have things (plot points) and there's a hint here, but it won't be revealed until... the next book or the one after. Sometime in canon probably.

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I hope you like the title of this book as well. It was an interesting thing to figure out.