"Welcome to Hogwarts" began Minerva to the new group of nervous eleven year olds standing in front of her. As she ran through the usual speech that she repeated on this evening, in this place each year she glanced through the new students attempting to familiarise with perhaps a few names. She spotted Mr Weasley instantly, pleased to see that he was stood next to Harry Potter, a subtle ache in her heart began as she witnessed her first glance of the boy since the evening ten years ago when he was left with his horrid Aunt and Uncle.
Her gaze drifted to Neville Longbottom and then to Mr Malfoy, both easily discernible as she ran through the house points. Her voice faltered as her eyes fell to a bushy haired young girl, staring avidly at her undoubtedly trying to coming each sentence to memory.
This couldn't be happening, she couldn't be here. It wasn't supposed to happen anymore because of… the last time. A deep breath and she found her way back to her speech as she pulled her eyes away from what were now concerned deep chocolate eyes.
Minerva wound down her speech rather hurriedly and left the empty classroom to make her way back into the Great Hall. She found Albus sitting quite serenely in the Headmaster's chair and tried, in vain to make her way inconspicuously towards him. As she approached the Staff table most of the Professors had turned to see what had caused the break of tradition, Minerva didn't usually enter the Great Hall until she was accompanied by the first years.
She reached Albus and bent low enough for only him to hear.
"Albus I-" shocked at how weak and frightened her voice sounded she cleared her throat and began again.
"Albus, she's here" the Headmaster's face dropped, "It… it's happening again Albus and I… I can't do it… I can't do it again"
There was a pain behind his clear blue eyes as he said, "You're sure?"
"Of course I'm sure" Minerva replied sharply, her eyes now filling with tears that she had tried for so long to repress, "I would never mistake.." she breathed the word, "her."
Albus took a deep breath.
"I know this is difficult, Minerva. You will come to my office straight after the feast and we will look through the texts again" at Minerva's change in expression he added, "of course I kept them, there was always a risk that this could happen. For now, you must continue as if everything is normal. She will not know Minerva, she is an eleven year old. Innocent."
Minerva straightened up and blinked back the tears.
"For now" she breathed as she turned away.
Minerva made her way back to the classroom where the first years were being held. Clearing her throat and steeling her facial expression to that of the stern Deputy-Headmistress, she opened the door.
There was excited murmuring which abruptly stopped once she stepped inside. Purposefully watching the strong gaze of her, Minerva spoke.
"We're ready for you now, follow me"
With a swish of emerald she turned and lead the students to the Great Hall and then through the pathway between the two centre tables, right down to the stand where the sorting hat waited upon a stool.
She pulled the piece of parchment with the first year's names on and carefully unrolled it, all the time keeping her eyes fixed on the words in front of her.
She prayed for a level voice as she spoke the normal words.
"When I call your name, you will come forth, I shall place a sorting hat on your head and you will be sorted into your houses"
And with an emotionless voice, she began to call the names.
She knew the time would come, but she was not prepared for the moment where she went to call her name.
She couldn't hide the emotion from her voice as she said the words.
"Hermione Granger"
Their eyes met and for a second, Minerva thought she saw a flicker of understanding, but then Hermione began to walk towards her and sat on the stool. Slowly, Minerva lowered the hat onto the young girls head and as her hand came away, she noticed it was shaking.
"GRYFFINDOR!" the hat proclaimed and as Minerva reached forward to lift the hat, Hermione slid the hat off her own head, stood and turned to face Minerva. Taken aback, Minerva tried to cover her falter by reaching forward with a confidence she didn't feel. Hermione reached forward too to pass over the hat, and for the briefest second, their fingertips touched as the hat was exchanged.
A bolt of magic ran through Minerva and a series of vivid pictures ran through her mind.
A twenty year old Hermione turning towards her with a loving, tender smile upon her beautiful features.
Their lips meeting in a gentle kiss before their passion flared and Hermione's hand went to the back of Minerva's head, pulling her further in, deeper, deeper down.
Then a forty year old Hermione, running a soft hand lovingly across a thirty year old Minerva before leaning forward and touching her lips to Minerva's.
The images stopped and Minerva was gazing into confused chocolate eyes. Chocolate eyes that were now reeling with this new knowledge. It was with a strength Minerva didn't know she had that she completed the transaction of the hat and pulled her eyes back to the parchment.
"Su- Susan Bones"
Hermione blinked, hard and turned to join the Gryffindor table.
As the names ran on Minerva felt a dull ache in her chest as her heart ached for her. She could feel the magics unwinding, loosening, failing.
For the rest of the night Minerva ate in silence, staring only at her meal and leaving as soon as was possible. Just as she was about to stand Albus whispered, just so that only her, with her animagus' senses would hear.
"Come by at midnight."
With an almost indistinguishable nod, she rose and left. All the time ignoring, the chocolate eyes that she could feel following her.
At midnight, Minerva made her way to the Headmaster's office.
"Sherbert Lemon"
The gargoyle jumped out of the way and Minerva stepped onto the staircase. Opening the oak door she found Albus at his desk turning a page of a book that looked ancient. Upon hearing the door, Albus looked up at Minerva quickly and then turned his attention back to the book.
"Minerva, come in and sit. Help yourself to tea."
Minerva walked into the room and lowered herself into a chair. Her hands shook as she poured two cups of tea. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only noise being the soft rasping of the turning page. After what felt like an insurmountable time Albus closed the book with a dull, resounding thud.
"I'm sorry Minerva. There is nothing we can do."
Minerva let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Everything seemed to stop.
"There must be something-"
"No, there isn't I've looked, believe me I-" Albus shook his head, he looked so defeated.
Minerva let out a noise between a sob and a moan, the noise was extremely pitiful. Her head fell to her hands and she let the threatening longing consume her. All the time, all the work, wasted.
"Why?" she eventually asked, "Why isn't there anything? We stopped it once; we can do it again-"
"No, Minerva. We cannot, you cannot. You would not survive another ritual."
"But I don't matter!" Minerva almost shouted, "She does"
"I will not allow you to sacrifice yourself, you have been unhappy for too long. I fear we may have made a mistake."
Minerva stared at him for a moment.
"You knew?" she whispered.
Dumbledore's eyes fell to his hands.
"Yes, I knew" he said, "It is why I handled the letters and muggleborn home visits this year, I kept your name on the letters to see if there was a spark of recognition from her. I understand this must be hard for you-"
"You cannot understand!" This time Minerva did shout, all the pain, all the forgotten feeling had swam back to the forefront and she could no longer escape them, "This was not your decision to make! You do not know how it feels to feel the other half of your soul stare at you with not one ounce of recognition! You do not know how it feels to be so close and so far away!"
Minerva stood abruptly, the tea set clattering to the floor. She turned and stormed to the door.
"I can't do this Albus" She whispered before she turned the handle and fled to her quarters, all the time knowing, that for the first time in thirty years, she was close enough to touch.
Do you want this continued?
Reviews please!