Hi y'all! OK, I know what you're thinking. With the two fics I already have and one in production with LegallyRed, I can't possibly have another fic, right? WRONG! For you drama freaks, here's another crossover: Newsies and the musical Bye Bye Birdie! This is sort of my way of reminiscing over my days as a teen chorus member of Bye Bye Birdie with Marquee Productions a couple months ago. I was named Peggy Sue. (((sighs contentedly))) Those certainly were the days. Alright, before we begin, a handy dandy list of characters I have so far(filled by me and the newsies)

CAST OF CHARACTERS

DAVID JACOBS is ALBERT PETERSON

MOSEPH is ROSE ALVAREZ

JACK KELLY is CONRAD BIRDIE

RACETRACK HIGGINS is HUGO F. PEABODY

KID BLINK is FREDDIE

SPOT CONLON is KARL

MEDDA LARKSON is MRS. MACAFEE

BRYAN DENTON is MR. MACAFEE

LES JACOBS is RANDOLPH MACAFEE

ESTHER JACOBS is MRS. PETERSON

MUSH MEYERS is(and here I am being insanely evil)...HARVEY JOHNSON!

(((wipes amused tear from eye))) Ah, I'm sorry I did that to you, Mush fans. I was gonna have Spot as Harvey Johnson, but that was just too evil and I have some good in me...somewhere...deep, deep down there...besides, the kid who played Harvey Johnson in our version had hair like Much's except bigger and...grosser...it wasn't too hard to pretend to be disgusted by Harvey. And you may object to Medda and Denton being the MacAfees. "Why not Esther and Mayer? They're already parents!" you may protest. Well, to quote my phys ed teacher, TOUGH PATOOTIES! Besides, since David's Albert, isn't it just right that Esther is Mrs. Peterson? Anyhoo, you may ask where the other characters are. After all, you can't do a Newsies-Bye Bye Birdie crossover without a Kim or an Ursula, can you? Well, look in the reflection of your computer monitor, kiddo, because YOU could be the next Kim or Ursula!...or Deborah Sue or Helen or Nancy or - you know what, it takes too much time to name them all! So read the ensuing chapter(if you don't, I'll hurt you! Kidding...sorta) and fill in the application at the bottom to be the next Conrad Birdie/Jack Kelly fan girl!

Disclaimer: Newsies is owned by Disney and Bye Bye Birdie is owned by...the folks who wrote it(and I want to thank you for writing it because if you hadn't, I never would have been it, I never would have heard the Wicked soundtrack and I never would have met Elliott...(((sigh))) best Freddie EVER). I own Moseph(i.e. me) and...wow, that's it for now. Huh. Look at that, will ya?

"No, sir, I'm not saying he doesn't want to be in the army, I'm just saying...Well, yes, but...But can't you...I know, but what about his fans? You can't do that to millions of teenagers, you know how dramatic kids can be! Think of the crime rate! Think of the suicides! Think of the record sales!...I know he's needed, but...Two weeks? But sir, I...Fine. He'll be there." David Jacobs hung up the phone with a crash.

"What's the problem, David darling? Having a rough day, are we?" his secretary, Michelle Newman asked, breezing into the New York city office, thin file folder in hand. David buried his head in his hands.

"I'm ruined," he said. "Ruined. Jack Kelly is going into the Army." Michelle tutted sympathetically.

"Well, how awful. Too bad I won't be around to help you through it," she said sweetly, tossing the folder on his desk. "I quit." She walked briskly towards the door. David looked up in horror and ran to the door, barring her way.

"You can't leave me now! I need you, Moseph!" he pleaded, using her pet name in an attempt to soften her.

"Don't you "Moseph" me, pally!" she scolded angrily. "I've put in more than sufficient work to keep this company on it's feet. There's nothing you can do to make me stay, David. The company's folded and I'm leaving. Now move out of my way."

"Michelle, please! Don't leave!" he begged, suddenly grasping his chest and panting. "Where's my medication?" Michelle rolled her eyes and walked over to his desk, taking a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin off the surface. She handed him the water and opened the bottle, shaking out a small, white pill. "Not so much, break it in half," David whined.

"You're thirty-three years old, David. You can take a whole aspirin," she said. David took the pill, washing it down with some water, and walked behind the desk to stand beside her.

"Michelle, please. I need you here," he said, giving her the puppy dog look and taking one of her hands. "I know you love me too much to leave me all alone here with my debts." Michelle softened for a moment, then remembered her reason for leaving.

"Sorry, David, but you should have thought of that before. As you well know, I've been more than just a secretary to you," she reminded him, snatching her hand away.

"Michelle! Those were moments of madness!" he hissed, shushing her.

"Well, between those "moments of madness" and the office, I've put in a good ninety hour week. And for what? A five-dollar raise in 1954 and a bottle of Arpege last Christmas," she said bitterly.

"Promise her anything, but give her Arpege, Michelle," David said, trying to be charming and witty.

"Yeah, but not a sixteenth of an ounce," Michelle replied. She moved away from David and crossed towards the door. "Face it, David. Your company's crumbling, I've quit, Jack's going into the army. There's nothing you can do, but go back to college and get your-"

"Michelle, I'm up to my ears in debt, Jack's got a fifty-thousand dollar guarantee that I can't pay and I've just taken a severe overdose of aspirin!" he shouted frantically. "I can't go back to college now! I have to save the Brooklyn Bridges Music Corporation!" He flumped into the chair at his desk. Michelle walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"David, forget the company. Now is the time to follow your dreams!" she said. David sighed.

"I can't, Moseph. I gave up on that dream a long time ago," he said, shaking his head sorrowfully.

"It's not too late, David. You can still become-" she said in a sing song voice.

"Don't say it, Michelle!" David warned, jumping out of his seat. Michelle ran to the door and opened it.

"An English teacher!" she shouted out the door.

"Michelle!" David cried with indignation.

"And furthermore, he wrote poetry!" she yelled, her head still out the door.

"Michelle, please," David begged. Michelle closed the door and sauntered over to the desk.

"And in the N.Y.U. yearbook for 1952 under "David Jacob's favourite piece of literature," you know what it says?" She picked up the telephone and said into the receiver, "Little Women."

"I'm ruined in show business," David groaned, sinking into his chair.

"Forget show business, David. Forget Jack Kelly. Forget Brooklyn Bridges. Go back to college, become an English teacher!" she said, putting down the phone. David suddenly had an inspired face.

"Michelle, I'll make a deal with you! Stay with me, help me get the money to pay Jack's guarantee, and as soon as I'm out of the red...I'll dissolve the company and go back to the academic life!" he said, standing up to face Michelle. Michelle grinned and stuck out a hand.

"David, you're on!" she proclaimed, grabbed his hand, shook it and walked over to her desk.

"Of course, it may take a while, but I'm sure that by 1973 or'74 at the latest, we'll..." he trailed off as he noticed Michelle taking out a small file drawer. "What's that?"

"Something that's going to push that date up a few years...pick one," she said, holding out the drawer.

"Pick one what? What are you talking about?" David asked, confused.

"Alright, I'll pick one for you," she said, drawing a card. "Ah, a perfect candidate. Fifteen year old girl, president and recording secretary Jack Kelly Fan Club Number 2748 of Sweet Apple, Ohio." David gave her a baffled look.

"Who is this girl, Michelle?" he asked, snatching the card out of her hand.

"This girl, David, is what's going to send you back to college with the biggest hit song this business has ever seen! It's called 'One Last Kiss'," she said, smirking as if to say "Aren't I brilliant?"

"Never heard of it," David replied.

"You haven't written it yet," she replied simply, taking his hand and leading him gently over to the piano. He sat down and placed his fingers longingly on the keys. "But when you do and when that one last kiss is from Jack on his way into the big cold Army for two long years and when he gives that kiss to one of his fans chosen at random from one million two hundred thousand hysterical teenagers, it'll make Mr. Kelly the hottest soldier since Joan of Arc!" she continued, placing a blank piece of sheet music on the piano.

"Michelle, I'm beginning to see it!" David said slowly, rising from the piano seat. "We cut the record here in New York..."

"Take that greasy bongo-playing car their to Sweet Apple..."

"Let him kiss the kid..."

"And release the record! Oh David, you'll have enough money to stay in college the rest of your life!" she squealed, throwing her arms around him.

"Michelle, it's wonderful! And I promise, as soon as this thing is settled, it'll be just the two of us! In perfect bliss! I'll get a job teaching English and..." he gushed, trailing off. "Bliss...kiss...that rhymes!" He detached himself from her and ran to piano, plunking on random keys and scribbling on the paper. Michelle stared at him lovingly.

"It's gonna be such a wonderful life. I'm gonna be Mrs. Jacobs..." she whispered to herself dreamily. "The English teacher's wife..."

Okay, one song down, about a bazillion more to go! Man, there are so many songs in this play! (((shrugs))) Oh well, at least for once, I know what's eventually going to happen! Some of you will notice that I used a lot of dialogue from the actual play. Thankfully, I still have my script from when I did it, so when I thought it fit, I just typed what they said and changed the names. Anyway, here's the list of characters I need:

Kim MacAfee: 15 years old, former president and recording secretary of the Jack Kelly(Conrad Birdie) fan club. Just got pinned to(i.e. is going steady with, solely seeing) Hugo Peabody(Racetrack). Is selected to be the recipient of Jack Kelly's one last kiss before going into the army. One of the main characters. Must know the show pretty well if you want this part(translation: you can't be an Jack purist if you want the part).

Ursula Merkle: 15 years old. Kim's best friend. Ginormous Jack Kelly fan(and I mean ginormous. If our boys were rock stars, they would be Conrad Birdies on the magnitude of fan worship). Extremely hyper and popular. Presumably the vice-president of the Conrad Birdie fan club. You can be a Jack purist if you want this part, but it doesn't matter. Just be prepared to worship Jack endlessly. If you already do this, you may be perfect for the part.

Helen, Nancy, Alice, Margie Ann, Penelope Anne, Suzie, Deborah Sue: All between the ages of 14 and 18. Members of the Jack Kelly Fan Club. A few can be Jack purists. Alice is with Kid Blink(Freddie) and someone who really really REALLY wants the part of Margie Ann can be with Spot(Karl)(yes, I realise that it never implies anywhere that Margie Ann and Karl hook up. I'm trying to be nice). You'll have to be spectacular, though, and dazzle me with your response(or bribe me with a review of one of my stories...but I didn't say that). And if someone pleads and begs, I can wrangle it so they can end up with Mush(Harvey) out of pity(don't get me wrong, I love Mush, but there was no one else to be Harvey!). I may or may not insert other newsies in the story to be with the rest of you, but don't ask me to. I'll notify you if I'm feeling generous and you can tell me which newsie you want.

As far as Kim, Ursula, Margie Ann and Alice go, it's first come, first serve. Anyone who applies after they've been chosen will be one of the rest of the girls. Sorry, there's only so many characters and I'm not inventing any. Anyway, get those CC replies in! Much love!

newsiesmoseph