I, Rodney

I, Rodney Flanders do declare

A discussion with Lisa Simpson fair

Her hair is blonde and mine is red

But the real difference is inside our heads

I promised with my hand on my heart

That I'd listen to her part

And not call her opinions dumb

And she, for me, agreed to some

But not all conditions set by me

In the outside world, she hates to be free

True, behind closed doors, I'm the bad guy

I'll be the one yelling at you, making you cry

But inside the view and the public eye

Everything she said will be seen as a lie

Under the guise of greater freedom for all

The leftists have made now their greatest downfall

And we right-wingers don't have much to say

No matter how dark we may seem today

And they'll just retort by saying the gays

Should be left alone to their perverted ways

But the money we make we have no judgment for

They insist, we must not pay it to war

So what, may I ask, are these high taxes for?

The answer is something I think they ignore.

To bring drinks to men alone on the street

When I could just buy them a sandwich of meat?

Which of course is immoral to eat

Which killing unborn babies doesn't quite meet.

But as I've been ranting, she called on a foul

Because discourteous I've been with every howl

And breaking a promise is for them in charge

Not for the parties' positions at large

So I asked for her side of the story and she

Said opinions that quite annoyed me

But I gritted my teeth and just let her be

Because soon this discussion would be history

She said, "Rights for all makes me glad

But allowing gun control laws isn't bad

And we're the worst country the world's ever had

And you should see animals looking so sad.

Humans are wrong for every small thing,

You just displace it because the guilt stings.

You as a man, have no idea how choice

Gives a woman the slightest of voice

No matter what you call it the truth is, Roddy

A woman has control over her own body."

Left and right wings should never converse,

In fact a fist fight was about to disperse

When out of the blue, stopping picking on runts

Walked over that brutish kid Nelson Muntz.

He responded quite truly, "We are just kids,

We don't need discussing whatever this is.

We won't be able to vote for eight or ten years,

And by then, we may have traded fears

So you two please make up now," he said, leaving.

Lisa's sighing and I'm heavily breathing.

But he's right, we're only young.

I'm repeating the hymns my father sung,

And she got hers from the media

Non-bias is for the encyclopedia

The truth is that we're children small

And maybe when we're old and tall

The truth will be revealed that inside

Neither of us has much to hide

Her hair will still be blonde and mine red

But similarities will emerge inside our heads.