Chapter 1

The meadow, his meadow. Why did I want to inflict upon myself the pain of actually coming back here? I must be a masochist. This is where my relationship with Edward began, where the decision of love or blood was made.

It was beautiful, breathtaking as before, but it lacked…him. In the back of my mind I hoped that he would be here, waiting for me. Like the last few months had been a test to see if I could find him, to prove my love and eternal devotion to him. The meadow was empty, save me.

The tears flowed, blocking my vision. I kneeled on the ground letting the agony consume me. The only reassurance I had was that I found his meadow without Jacob. How would I have explained myself to him, I would have hurt him just as I was hurting myself. But I couldn't bring myself to leave, not just yet.

I found courage that I was alone. I needed to move on and here and now is where I would do it. Let him go like he let go of me. But would that really be possible? To let him…Edward, go without something still burning for him? He is my love, the love of my life; I could feel that deep down inside that there could be no other who could make me feel whole. He didn't want to be my love, to make me whole. So I needed to let go in the hopes that I could feel somewhat whole one day.

My sobs were lessening. I was starting to breathe easier and more even. I could do this. I could let go and move on. Besides, mythical creatures could not be held onto forever, especially when the mythical creature in question was the perfect man. At least I was able to hold on to him for a few months, that's more than most can say.

I needed to let go. Needed to let go of the life I had envisioned for myself. An eternity with him, living as a beautiful immortal with our family and the love of my life at my side. I needed to release it all. This is what caused me so much pain. The life that I had planned ended three days after my birthday, and this was the place to finally let go of it.

I had goals and visions of what my life should be like before I came to Forks, I needed to go back to them, to get back on track. I could do this. I will move on. I will be happy again …one day.

My tears had stopped flowing, it was time to go. The sun was creeping lower in the sky and I needed to go before I was missed. But first I needed to say good-bye. I stood up and walked to where some sun was shining through the clouds, touching the grass below. I closed my eyes, facing up to the sun and breathed. "Edward," I said aloud for my own benefit. "I have loved you since almost the first moment I saw you and I still… love you." My voice was wavering, but this is something I needed to do. Needed to say, perhaps hoping that it will carry on the wind for him to know.

"I knew I could never keep you with me forever, but I had you for six wonderful months," the tears were starting to cascade down my cheeks. I whispered the rest, "I will move on, I will love again, even though I could never feel half as much love for anyone else as I will always have for you." I stood in silence listening to the wind and the sounds of the forest. The clouds covered the sun and I opened my eyes. I felt…not content, but better than I had.

As I was turning to leave I noticed someone standing at the edge of the meadow, staring at me. He had a small smirk playing across his lips, as if he knew something I didn't. He had dark hair and pale white skin, paler then mine. A vampire, a vampire I had seen before almost a year ago. Laurent.

"Laurent?" I asked.

"Bella, correct?" he asked with a knowing smile. "I thought you might have moved on from this area."

I gave him a puzzled look. Why would he think that?

"I stopped by the Cullen's house you see," answering my confusion, "I smelled that no one had been there for several months, I thought they would have taken you with them. Weren't you like a pet to them?" He seemed pleased to see me, but something didn't feel right. Why was he here?

"Something like that," call me a pet or a distraction it all meant the same in the end. "What brought you here Laurent? I thought you were in Alaska." I felt the need to run, run from him, but I couldn't place why. He stepped closer, and then I understood why my subconscious was screaming for me to run. Red eyes. Red eyes from human blood, Laurent was not a vegetarian and I was mere feet from him, in a secluded forest, a forest that nobody knew I was in.

Try as I might, fear spread across my face. "I was in Alaska, for a time, but why should I deny my nature?" He took a deep breath, savoring my scent like a wine connoisseur with a cork. I took a step back, my mind racing to find an escape where none existed. Here in the place where I first learned how strong, and how fast vampires were was the place that I was going to die.

Laurent started to circle me, looking me up and down. "I actually came here looking for you."

"Me?" I squeaked, my throat incredibly dry.

Laurent leered at me, "Yes. Victoria, I'm sure you remember her, had been interested in finding you. She feels a bit sore about what happened in Phoenix. She thinks that the best way to repay, what was his name? Edward?" I didn't answer; no answer could save me now. "Yes, Edward. Well, the best way to repay Edward would be to kill you. A mate for a mate." Laurent stopped in front of me and gently touched my hair.

I closed my eyes and a tear escaped. "I'm not his mate." I said unevenly, I opened my eyes looking into his terrifying red ones. "I never was. I was, just as you said, a pet."

He continued on like I never said anything. "Victoria wanted to kill you herself. She told me how she wanted to hear you scream for hours. How she hoped your Edward would be there to watch." He seemed to like this idea of me suffering and of Edward being there to witness it. "But here we are, alone." He touched my hair again, moving it away from my neck and moving his head closer. I stiffened, knowing there was nothing I could do. "I was hunting when I came across your scent, then I heard your beautiful words to Edward. They were touching, really. If I ever see him again I'll give him your regards."

Fate must be laughing at me. I came here a year ago under similar conditions. No one knew I was here then except for one vampire, and again I'm here with one vampire. But this time I would not make it out alive.

Why in this moment of real danger do my hallucinations disappear? Did coming here and deciding to move on make his velvety voice do the same? If this was going to be the last few moments of my life then I wanted to hear his voice, to imagine that he wants me, loves me.

Run Bella!

That voice, Edward's voice.

Run, please! Save yourself!

Without thinking I spun around and ran towards the path I came from. A fruitless effort, but a dying one. I managed two steps and he flew in front of me, grinning. I took a step back and tried again. Whatever direction I tried he moved in front of me, toying with me like a cat with a mouse. After a dozen attempts at escape Laurent became impatient. He griped my waist with his left arm and tilted my head with his right. In another setting this could seem romantic, but here it was terrifying.

Beg!

Again his voice sung to me. "Please! I…I don't want to die…" This isn't how it was supposed to be!

"Humm… Do you know how many times I have heard that?" He paused, like he was hoping that I would actually answer that. "Do you know how many survived after saying it?" Laurent leaned in closer to my ear and whispered, "None."

I closed my eyes waiting for the pain, for death to claim me.

Edward! I love you! I screamed in my mind.

"Victoria will be disappointed but I'll tell her I didn't know it was you till after I was done. No harm done, she wants you dead and dead you will be."

Bella, scream!

Scream? How could that help me now? But I did as my imagined Edward told me; I let out the loudest scream my dry throat could allow. Then I felt Laurent teeth pierce my skin, my voice went up another octave.

No!

Edward's beautiful voice was like an angel's to my ears. I tried to concentrate on the sound as the pain intensified. Perhaps I will pass out soon from the loss of blood, I hoped for it. I wanted the pain to stop. I felt Laurent's cold arms release me and I fell hard to the ground. Did that mean I will die soon? This isn't what I heard would happen. My life didn't pass before my eyes; I saw no tunnel with a light at the end. But there is a voice…Edward?

"Bella! Bella, no!" this voice sounded pained, could it be his? Someone held my hand and I looked, it was Jacob.

"Jacob…" I wanted to ask him why he was here but I couldn't manage the energy. My neck started to burn. It was hot, too hot! "It burns! …No!" I reached to my neck, scratching, trying desperately to make it stop.

"Bella! Bella," with my screams I could barely hear him, "what do I… How… what can I do?" I looked into his eyes. Tears filled his anguished face. "Do you know what's…happening?"

How could I not? I felt this before, vampire venom. I grabbed Jacob's hand and ran his fingers over my crescent scar on my right hand. "Ven…Venom…change." I tried to explain through the pain.

Jacob's jaw held slack in shock as he stared at my hand, his eyes turned to me full or fury. "Did he do this to you! How do you make it stop?"

It was easy to know who Jacob meant when he said 'he.' "No… he sucked…it out," I didn't know if Jacob heard what I said. The burning had moved to my chest, if felt like lava. I let out a new batch of screams that I had managed to hold back to talk. Why was this happening to me? I wanted this once, but that was because Edward loved me or so I thought. What would I do now? The pain is so intense that maybe I'll die before it ends. I felt burning hot arms lift me up, I felt like I was flying. The pain grew and consumed me.

Black.