MOVING ON - THE DIRECTOR'S CUT
Important Notes About The Story:
The original story had seven parts that now have titles – then five "missing pieces" were posted later.
This version, the "Director's Cut", combines the original with the missing pieces (+ new ones).
Some of the missing pieces were inserted within the original text. Sorry if it gets confusing!
Anyway – thank you a million times to everyone that took/takes time to read/comment on this story.
And … thanks to all the other Kate/Juliet writers who inspire and entertain me. If you didn't do what you do – I wouldn't do whatever it is that I do.
Not So Important Notes:
I read Kate/Juliet stories for about a year before deciding to give writing a go. This was my first attempt.
I'm mainly a musician. You can watch a LOST video made by NikkiMonique with one of my original LOST songs:
Search Youtube for Castles and Kingdoms by The Shrimp Boat Pirates
Moving On
The sun had long gone down. They were all exhausted. Miles was the only one who was able to sleep on the plane - everyone else seemed to be unable to control the need to process what had just happened. In the quiet of communal contemplation, someone would occasionally take a long, deep breath, but no one spoke and no one cried. Richard unintentionally dozed off on the couch in the lobby of the hotel while Frank made room arrangements. Miles looked disenchanted as he sipped on a whiskey at the bar. Kate and Juliet unknowingly made a mutual assessment of each other - that the other looked like she felt at least as old as Richard actually was. The other guests swirled in and around them. Their breezy strolls, their pina coladas, their suntans. Juliet watched as Miles ordered another drink and then briefly closed her eyes to dissuade the inclination to join him in drowning his uneasiness away. Frank returned to the group with room keys. Only a few necessary words were exchanged. After he gave Miles' his key, he briefly turned back toward the rest, and gently smiled with the sharp realization that he would probably never see any of them again. Richard stood, wished Kate and Juliet luck, and began walking away - slow at first, quicker as he turned a corner at the end of the hall.
Kate and Juliet had adjoining ocean-side rooms, the separating wall serving poorly as a sound barrier. Kate heard Juliet run a bath and wondered if she might take one herself. The thought faded into another, into another, until she was back on the island - hollow and suffocating. The sound of Juliet's draining bath water snapped her back into focus. Hours passed. They both flipped through the channels over and over again, as if the next cycle through would reveal something better. At different times they both surrendered to the pointlessness of the attempt - and the screens went black with a push of a button, leaving the rooms in darkness.
Juliet had lived on the island for six years. She spent all of them wanting to leave, all of them alone. And now, she's alone again, unable to stop her mind from replaying all the worst parts. She wants to call her sister - but decides because of the late hour that would be better left for the morning. She hears Kate stir, get out of bed, and open the sliding glass door to her balcony. She wonders how Kate could stand to look at the ocean. Minutes later Juliet is startled by a knock at the adjoining door. "Juliet?" Kate asks, "Can I come in?" Juliet pauses and takes a deep breath before rising and opening the door. Kate is holding a couple wine bottles from the mini bar. She looks at the bottles, then at Juliet and says, "I don't really want to be alone tonight." Her tone is oddly assertive. Juliet gives her a half smile and motions for Kate to come in.
Juliet flips a light on, as well as the tv, while Kate pours the wine into plastic cups. She hands one to Juliet as they both sit down on the bed, leaning back against the headrest. It's almost awkward at first - sitting next to each other and not talking - but as the wine continues to be poured, they feel comfortable enough. After the bottles are gone Juliet notices that Kate finally looks sleepy. Kate rises and Juliet assumes she's leaving - she's surprised when Kate pulls back the curtains covering the sliding glass doors. The moon is illuminating the ocean and the sight draws the air out of Juliet's lungs. Kate stands there for a while, Juliet's eyes glued to her back, avoiding what's beyond. Juliet eventually gets up, washes her face, and when she comes back Kate is laying away from her on her side under the covers, the curtains have been drawn. Juliet turns off the light, the tv - and doesn't hesitate getting into bed. She was barely friends with Kate but the intensity of their shared circumstance leaves them both to appreciate the presence of the other.
Neither of them have moved, being careful to not accidentally touch the other. Juliet still can't sleep. She senses that Kate can't either. Her suspicion is confirmed when she hears Kate quietly crying. Juliet's nurturing instinct kicks rolls on her side, slides behind Kate and wraps her arm around her. It surprises Kate - she tenses. Juliet worries she made a mistake but she's put to ease when Kate takes a hold of her hand and relaxes. Again, they lay in silence. After Kate stops crying Juliet rolls onto her back. Kate is embarrassed that she immediately misses her touch, the rhythm of her heartbeat. "Do you want me to go?"
Juliet can't be certain of what she wants - but the unsettling thought of physically being alone is enough for her to respond with, "No." She shifts back onto her side, her mouth is near Kate's ear. "Stay." Kate smiles without Juliet knowing. Eventually they both fall asleep. Juliet wakes up shortly after the sun rises to an empty bed and the smell of coffee. She notices Kate standing on the balcony - resting her elbows on the railing, coffee cup in hand - the breeze playing with her hair. Neither of them slept long enough or well enough to feel rested - but the combination of sunlight and coffee ... and surprisingly, Kate - motivated Juliet to get up, grab a cup, and join Kate in the balmy morning air. Kate turned her head at the sound of the door sliding - and quietly said "Good morning." Juliet responded with the same as she leaned against the railing - relieved that the ocean view was slightly less daunting than she thought it would be - mostly just glad Kate hadn't already left.
Both of them were staring at the water but neither was focusing on it. A few minutes after Juliet was in her presence Kate recognized that this moment might be the last time, in what could be a long time, that she would be with someone that completely understood. It made her anxious. Juliet sensed a change in her demeanor and turned her head toward Kate. The silence between them was no longer comfortable so Kate, without looking at Juliet, asked, "What will you do now?"Juliet turned back toward the water, took a sip of coffee, and thought. The thinking was unnecessary - she had known what she would do post her island liberation from 6 years of thinking about it. Her hesitation in answering was because she had read Kate's file - knew that Kate had no home to return to - no family that really wanted to see her. But Juliet had to say something. "Miami. My sister and my nephew live there." Kate nodded. Without Juliet asking Kate said, "I need to tell Cassidy what happened to Sawyer." Juliet chose not to inquire into Kate's plans post Cassidy for fear that Kate might not have any, that she might be scared of the future - she herself was having a hard time seeing past the day at hand. "If you're ever in Miami, you should visit." Kate turned back toward Juliet and smiled.
What Now?
Five months had passed since Kate and Juliet said goodbye at the hotel. Kate returned to Los Angeles and stayed with Cassidy for a few months, but staying anywhere too long opposed her restless nature. She had grown beyond the need to run away - so instead she packed her life into her car and began driving - toward what, she hadn't determined yet. At least she was in motion - her path revealing itself as she traveled it. She wasn't surprised when she came across Frank at a bar in New Orleans. She had seen Miles a handful of times while she was still in Los Angeles. Frank was happy to have her company for a couple rounds of drinks. "I ran into Juliet in Miami a few weeks ago." he slurred. Kate realized she hadn't really been paying attention to what he was saying until she heard Juliet's name. "She's working at a hospital there, downtown, seemed to be doing okay." Before parting Frank put his hand on Kate's shoulder and looked her in the eyes. His eyes were soft, sincere. "Good to see you Kate." - "You too Frank." Kate sat alone for a minute, finishing her drink, thinking about Miami.
A day and a half later Kate was strolling down Miami Beach - shoes in hand, people watching, curious as to why she felt so anxious. But she found the crowd comforting, the cool ocean refreshing. Beaches brought back intense memories - good and bad. Today her thought trail lead her to the circumstance of meeting Juliet, of hating Juliet, of not trusting/trusting, then finally settled on genuinely missing her. Kate was often overwhelmed by missing. Jack, Sawyer, Sun, Jin, Claire. But they were gone, leaving their missing to be endless - without resolution, haunting. Juliet, at least, was tangible - and close by. Kate had passed a hospital while navigating to the beach through downtown. She took a last look over the water - the late afternoon sun shimmering on its skin - put on her shoes and headed toward the hospital.
She inquired at the information booth about Dr. Burke and was pointed in the direction of the research offices. She was greeted by a secretary who informed her that Dr. Burke had been in a meeting at another medical facility but should be back shortly. The secretary called Juliet to ask about her arrival time and mentioned that her friend Kate was there. They exchanged a few more words. After the call ended the secretary told Kate that she could wait in Juliet's office. She sat down on Juliet's desk and flipped through a few magazines laying around - more than occasionally looked at the clock. When she heard the doorknob turn she took a sharp breath - when she saw Juliet, she smiled.
Juliet was already smiling when she entered the room. She had been hoping for a while that Kate would turn up. Having Kate around meant not having to hide, to push away certain memories. She told Rachel a significant portion of what happened on the island - but not everything. With Kate she could just - relax. They looked at each other for a second before Kate stood and said a coy, "Hi." Juliet closed the door, quickly sat down her bag, and approached Kate. "Hi." she replied, while pulling Kate into an embrace. They held each other for longer than either of them thought they would - as if they had only one chance to soak up as much comfort as the other had to offer. "Are you tired? Hungry?" Juliet asked. Kate broke the embrace. "Hungry." Juliet picked up her bag, opened the door. "Let's get out of here then." They headed toward Juliet's car.
They decided on pizza and beer. Juliet helped Kate bring in her bags and showed her the guest room. Kate began unpacking a few things. Juliet lingered in the doorway. "Towels are in the bathroom. Take a shower if you'd like. Pizza should be here soon." When Juliet turned to leave Kate stopped her by putting a hand on her shoulder, "Thanks, Juliet - for letting me stay." Juliet turned back around, put her hand over Kate's, and said 'you're welcome' with her smile. Kate showered. She could smell the pizza as soon as entered the living room. The box was sitting on the coffee table and Juliet was sitting on the couch - almost done drinking a beer. "Do you have to work tomorrow?" Kate asked on her way through to the kitchen. "No." Juliet replied, "I have a few days off." - "Want another one?" - "Yeah. Thanks." Kate grabbed two beers and joined Juliet on the couch.
They talked about the past five months, about Rachel and Julian - about Cassidy and Clementine. Many beers later they talked about Jack, Sawyer - Goodwin, even Edmund. "Are you seeing anyone now?" Kate felt compelled to ask. Juliet took a sip of her beer and replied, "No. You?" Kate half sighed and half chuckled. "Nope." Juliet was sitting with her legs crossed, her knee touching Kate's. The conversation continued on for a while - past the last beer. Eventually Kate was struggling to keep her eyes open. Juliet noticed, put her hand on Kate's knee, "Ready for bed? " Kate nodded. They said goodnight - and quickly fell asleep.
Juliet woke up with the sun. She laid in bed for a while - wondering if Kate was already awake. She didn't hear any stirring, so she tried to fall back asleep - but couldn't. Her mind was already active. She wondered if Kate might like coffee ready when she woke up - if Kate would want breakfast. She wondered so much about Kate that she surprised herself. She took a shower, made coffee, and flipped through a series of morning new shows. Kate woke up a couple hours later and followed the delightful smell of coffee brewing in the kitchen. "Good morning." Juliet said as she got up from the couch and entered the kitchen."Good morning." Kate replied with a sleepy smile. They decided to meet Rachel and Julian for breakfast after having coffee. Kate wasn't surprised that she found Rachel charming.
They said goodbye to Rachel and Julian and then spent the rest of the day exploring Miami - spent the evening strolling the boardwalk, unintentionally watched the sun sink behind the Atlantic. After dinner they decided to watch a movie, which evolved into sort of watching a movie and drinking a couple bottles of wine. When Kate got up to open the second bottle Juliet stretched her legs out across the couch. Kate poured the wine, put the bottle on the coffee table. Juliet started to swing her legs out of the way so Kate could sit back down but Kate stopped her, "You can stay like that." She motioned for Juliet to lift her legs up. "I don't mind." Kate sat down. Juliet raised a suspicious eyebrow and then lowered her legs across Kate's lap. Juliet teased her, "How many more glasses of wine would it take for a foot massage?"
Kate tried to fall asleep but was distracted by the thunderstorm that had been lurking over Miami for the past few hours. She gave up - and took a trip to the bathroom, with the intention of figuring out whether or not Juliet was still awake. Her door was slightly ajar, her lamp on. She must be reading, Kate assumed - then knocked, "You awake?" she sort of whispered, not knowing why she was whispering or why she was bothering Juliet to begin with. The wine was still swirling through her system. "Yep." Juliet replied.
Kate hesitated for a second - realizing her lack of directive, then pushed the door open anyway. It took a minute for Kate to say something, "Can't sleep." she finally stated. - "Me either." A few slightly awkward seconds later Juliet added, "Want to watch TV?" She put her book down and picked up the remote. Kate answered by sitting down on the bed. A few episodes of 90's sitcoms later Juliet hit the power button, yawned - and turned to Kate, "You staying?" - "Maybe." Kate replied nonchalantly with a hint of smirkyness. Juliet ignored her obviously voluntary indecisiveness and turned off the light. It had been a while since she'd shared a bed with someone - long enough to miss the comfort, the feeling of safety - the feeling of knowing that you are not alone. As Kate got under the covers she noted, in a 'heading toward' serious tone, "I'm glad I'm here."Juliet rolled onto her side to face Kate who was staring at the ceiling, "Me too."
Very Good Morning
A couple weeks later, on a weekend morning, Kate woke up before Juliet and decided to take a shower. When she returned to the bedroom Juliet was awake, still in bed - reading a book. "Hi." Kate said as she approached the nightstand to get her cell phone. Juliet looked up and smiled. "Hi." When Kate reached for her phone Juliet grabbed her hand and gently tugged, "Want to come back to bed?" She gave Kate those irresistible "Please?" eyes. Kate smirked at her, playfully "tried" to resist, "What's in it for me?" Juliet didn't have to answer. Kate started to climb over her - but then stopped and straddled her with her knees instead, "I'll make you a deal." Juliet raised an eyebrow. Kate laughed then continued, "How about a back rub for a back rub?" Juliet pretended to ponder the offer, then smiled and nodded. Kate smiled back, "Turn over." Juliet set her book down and then complied. "Ugh." Juliet groaned when Kate hit a sore area near her shoulder. "Sorry." Juliet rolled over and teased, "You should be - you pulled it out of socket." Kate's face tensed - then her shoulders slumped. Her genuine look of concern mixed with regret was surprising to Juliet. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I was just kidding." Kate's expression didn't change. She started to get up but Juliet pulled her back down - into an embrace. They held that position for a minute - then Kate stretched her legs out and put her full weight onto Juliet - tucked her arms under Juliet's shoulders, put her head to the side on Juliet's chest. "I know you were joking. It just made me think about ... I still can't tell if the island seems like yesterday or a million years ago." There was a quiet melancholy to her voice. Juliet rested her hands on Kate's back and sighed, "It's the same way for me."
They laid in silence for a while. Juliet was thinking about how curiously fortunate for both of them that they had each other - that of everyone who might have made it home, they meshed so well together. She smiled to herself when she put Hurley in Kate's current, physical place. Kate was thinking about how her guard was so easily let down with Juliet – and how curiously comfortable that made her feel. She considered that she might be making it hard for Juliet to breathe - so she shifted her weight, moved her leg in-between Juliet's. The shift caused unintentional friction, in an interesting spot for both of them - and they both became aware of how sexual the position they were in, could be. Juliet felt Kate quickly breathe in and then slowly out a couple times - as if she was going to say something but then changed her mind. She eventually slid off of her - and remained on her stomach, "My turn." Juliet was suddenly nervous as she straddled Kate with her knees, sat down on her hips - then began rubbing her back. No matter how many distracting thoughts she forced herself to have - the sensation between Juliet's legs just wouldn't give up. She was irrationally worried that Kate would be able to feel growing heat, even through her jeans - and was relieved when Kate said, "You can stop. Thanks." Juliet stood, Kate rolled onto her back. "I'm going to take a quick shower. What to go out for lunch when I'm done?" Juliet asked - worried that she sounded awkward. She didn't really need to take a shower but she certainly needed to take care of something else. "Sure." Kate replied. She watched Juliet enter the bathroom, heard the water running - heard the door lock. She looked at the clock. A "quick shower" for Juliet usually meant about five minutes. I can climax in five minutes, Kate thought.
The Gay Bar
Juliet hoped she made it clear that Kate was welcome to stay as long as she wanted - Kate believed her. They fell into a domestic pattern of Kate making Juliet breakfast before work, trading off making dinner, doing housework. They often joked about it - but it just, worked. It wasn't often that Kate slept in the guest bed. She told herself for a while that it was because Juliet's bed was more comfortable. During one of their many late night, in bed, slightly tipsy conversations they talked about how they didn't leave the house enough - and somehow promised they would go out dancing. Kate was convinced Juliet came up with the idea - Juliet was convinced that Kate did. Regardless, the following weekend, they went out.
They chose a gay bar because they thought they'd feel more comfortable - but quickly realized that the nerve required to dance in any public place, required a large amount of alcohol. After they ordered drinks they joked about how they both had been drinking more lately than they had since their early 20's. "I dated a guy my junior year of college that came out of the closet while we were together." Juliet admitted a few drinks later, "He was gorgeous." Kate laughed and then froze. "That is funny, isn't it?" She looked concerned. Juliet laughed. Later into the evening they weren't even trying to ignore a lesbian couple at the table next to them - who weren't shy about PDA. When the couple got up to leave Juliet turned to Kate with an eyebrow raised, "You ever kissed a girl?" she inquired. Kate felt like she had to have turned red - maybe Juliet didn't notice. "The sister of my high school boyfriend ... " Juliet looked amused and curious, "How did that happen?" - "Came over late one night, he wasn't home, but she was. We ended up talking for a long time. I think she was four years older, I didn't know her from school. She was cool. We hung out a few times. I didn't know she was gay - she thought I did." Kate paused. Juliet motioned for her to continue, "And?"... Kate took a drink. "And, she kissed me." Juliet wasn't satisfied. "What kind of kiss?" Kate thought for a second, "A kiss, kiss." Juliet looked slightly puzzled, "So you cheated on your boyfriend with his sister?" They both erupted in laughter and agreed it was hilarious.
They didn't do much dancing apart from when a couple of gay guys practically begged them to. They lasted a few songs and then realized that one of the guys was definitely not gay. When Juliet went to the bar to get some water the guy asked Kate, "Is your friend straight?" Kate could tell that Juliet had no interest in him. "She's gay." The guy didn't believe her. "There's no way she's gay." He shook his head. Juliet was walking toward them with the water. "Impossible." he slurred. Juliet handed Kate a cup. "You're gay?" He pointed at Juliet. She looked at Kate with a raised eyebrow. Kate discretely nodded. "Yeah." Juliet played along, "Gay." She put her arm around Kate's waist, "You ready to go?" - "Yep." They navigated back to their table, paid the bill, and avoided making eye contact with the guy on their way out. Juliet fell asleep with her head on Kate's shoulder during the cab ride home.
While Juliet was brushing her teeth Kate came up behind her and asked, "What about you?" Their eyes met in the mirror. Juliet spit out the toothpaste, wiped her mouth, "Me what?" She turned around to face Kate - who gave her a teasing shove to the side and then turned on the faucet. Juliet turned back around - they met eyes in the mirror again. "Ever kissed a girl?" Kate asked then began washing her face. Juliet crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame, "You offering?" she smirked. Kate grabbed a towel. Before she could answer Juliet remarked, "Bad idea. You'd just cheat on me with my sister." Kate smiled into the towel. Juliet headed toward her bedroom, got into bed. When Kate got into bed Juliet said softly, "I'm not opposed to kissing girls, it just never happened." - "Too busy kissing boys?" Kate joked. Juliet rolled onto her side to face Kate - who was already on her side facing Juliet. They didn't say anything - the silence swarmed with energy. There was very little space between them. Kate leaned over and gave Juliet a quick kiss on the lips, "Goodnight."
Juliet woke up, lying on her back - Kate's arm draped across her. As soon as she made the first move to get out of bed - Kate woke up. Kate was still tired and had no intention of getting up. Juliet started to move Kate's arm - Kate pinned her down with it, without lifting her head she groaned, "It's Sunday and we have nothing to do except sleep." Juliet defended herself, "Maybe I was going to make you breakfast in bed ... "Although it sounded like something Juliet would do Kate knew she was kidding. Juliet tried to get up again but Kate wouldn't budge. "You don't need me to keep sleeping." Juliet protested. What Kate wanted to say was, "I want you to stay." What she actually said was, "... you're more comfortable than the pillow ... " Juliet sighed. She didn't really want to get up. There were few places she'd rather be - but a part of her was restless. Did Kate actually kiss her? Did she dream it? Does Kate remember? She was making herself nervous. She pushed Kate over on her side and slid behind her. Maybe she could pretend to be asleep. Kate gently grabbed Juliet's wrist and maneuvered Juliet's arm over her.
They both fell asleep again and woke up to the ringing of Juliet's cell phone. It was a co-worker asking if Juliet could come in for a couple hours - she said yes. She got out of bed, looked at Kate, "I should be done around noon. Want to meet me at the park with lunch?" Kate gave a drowsy nod. Juliet took a quick shower and headed out. Kate lazed around the housed for a while. She called in an order for sushi and picked it up on the way to the park. They had met there before - so she set up the picnic in the usual spot near the top of the hill that overlooked Miami beach - and people watched while she waited for Juliet. The Miami heat seemed to never take a break - but the shade of the palm tree and a slight breeze held it at bay. She could see Juliet approaching from a good distance away - the sunlight catching on her hair, making it glow a more brilliant shade of blond. Kate smiled. She thought about the kiss. It was strange to Kate that it hadn't felt strange at all.
"You read my mind." Juliet said as she sat down on the blanket. They laughed about the events at the gay bar, enjoyed the sushi, and talked about what they might fill their day with. During a pause in conversation Kate could tell Juliet was contemplating something, "What are you thinking about?" Kate inquired. Juliet half smiled. "Oh, just work." She lied. She was thinking about Kate. A few minutes passed and Juliet weighed her options. She could ignore the nagging question of whether or not the kiss actually happened - or she could just ask. In an unexpected bout of confidence she turned to Kate, "Last night, right before we fell asleep ..." Kate understood now what Juliet's obvious non-work contemplation was about and interrupted her, "I kissed you." Juliet looked relieved. "I thought so. Guess I'm in the club now." They finished eating, packed up, and began the walk to the parking lot. They passed an ice cream cart, "Want some?" Kate asked. "Do you really have to ask?" Juliet raised an eyebrow. Juliet took the picnic supplies to the car while Kate got the ice cream. Juliet was sitting on the trunk, leaning back against the window. She sat up when she saw Kate - who handed her a cone. "Thanks." Kate climbed up and joined her, then scooted over so they were touching. "You're welcome." Juliet rested her hand on the leg that was touching Kate's and Kate rested her hand on top of Juliet's. It seemed as normal as any two friends eating ice cream on any given sunny day - as comfortable as the breeze.
Juliet wanted to get to bed early because she worked the next day - Kate wasn't tired yet. She picked up a book she'd been meaning to start reading and sat on the couch in the living room while Juliet got ready for bed. Juliet came back out to the kitchen to prep the coffee maker for the morning. On her way to the bedroom she stopped behind the couch where Kate was sitting, put her hands on Kate's shoulders, "Goodnight." Kate tilted her head back, rested it on the top of the couch. She smiled, "Goodnight. See you in the morning." Juliet leaned forward, "You don't have to get up when I do." Kate smirked. "How else can I eat the breakfast in bed you're going to make me if I'm not awake?" Juliet liked it when Kate was sarcastic. "Ha ... ha." Juliet replied, then leaned down and kissed Kate on the forehead. "Goodnight Kate."
Kate went to bed about an hour later. When she pulled back the covers, Juliet rolled over. "Sorry." Kate whispered as she climbed in, thinking she had woken Juliet up. "It's ok. I wasn't asleep." Kate was lying on her back. Juliet was facing her, her head propped up by her forearm and palm. "I think we can do better." Juliet said nonchalantly. Kate knew exactly what she was talking about. She turned her head to look at Juliet and gave a half serious half joking eyebrow raise in response. Juliet leaned toward her jokingly slow. Kate suddenly, but gently, reached behind Juliet's head and closed the gap between them. At first the kiss was more like an extended peck - but after getting used to the feeling of the others lips - it transformed. Neither of them knew who started using their tongue first - or exactly how it progressed to Juliet being on top of Kate - or how it was five minutes later and they were still kissing. Juliet pushed Kate's legs slightly apart with her knee - and they started moving their hips in sync with each other. She began kissing Kate's neck - Kate moaned softly.
When Juliet reached Kate's collarbone, her weak spot, it had the opposite effect that it normally does. The intense feeling snapped her out of her state of bliss. "Juliet." she whispered. Juliet stopped and pulled back a little. They smiled at each other for minute. Juliet tucked back a rogue piece of Kate's hair and thought about oddly natural and unassuming kissing Kate was. Kate had started to think whatever they were doing might not be the best idea but Juliet looked so insanely adorable that Kate wanted to just enjoy the moment ... that quietly came to an end when Juliet rolled off of her. "'You're a good kisser." Juliet whispered toward the ceiling. "I know." Kate replied sarcastically. Juliet gave her a decently hard slap on her thigh. Kate laughed and grabbed Juliet's hand - laced their fingers together. They eventually fell asleep that way.
Monthly Consequence
Juliet was having one of those days where the more she tried to relax and take unfortunate circumstance in stride - the more unfortunate circumstance occurred. It began with waking up with cramps - a week earlier than she expected. She knew that her and Kate's cycles would sync up eventually - but had somehow assumed Kate would sync to her and that it wouldn't happen so quickly. When she was almost half way to work she realized she left her phone on the kitchen counter. Kate was startled awake by the sound of Juliet tripping over Kate's running shoes that she hadn't moved out of the way of the front door before she went to sleep. She jumped out of bed and darted into the living room, "You ok?" she asked with a sleepy, concerned look on her face. "Fine." Juliet snarled as she walked past Kate, grabbed her phone from the counter. "I'm sorry - I should have moved them last night ..." Kate apologized as she picked up the shoes and then put them in the hall closet. Juliet gave her a death glare as she walked back toward the door. "See you late..." Kate began - as Juliet opened the door and then slammed it shut. "... r." Kate rolled her eyes - then headed back to bed. They managed to avoid saying anything to each other for a good hour after Juliet got home from work. She went straight to the bathroom, took a shower, and then went out on the back patio to call Rachel without bothering to at least say hi to Kate. Kate was lying on the couch with a heating pad, irrationally irked at pretty much everything - including Juliet's cold shoulder. She was thinking about how it might be better for her to get an apartment, have her own space - where she could leave her shoes wherever she wanted. She heard Juliet come inside and open the fridge - then heard the clink of a bottle on the counter top, the twist of the cap. Then she heard Juliet's footsteps heading her way and thought about how perfect a beer would be - and how thoughtful of Juliet to bring her one. "You going to use the heating pad all night?" Juliet said in a rotten tone, then took a drink. Kate's temporary shift in attitude was defeated. "Did you think I might like a beer as well or are you ok with only thinking about yourself?" Kate retaliated. She expected to get the death glare again - and sure enough - she got it.
Juliet retreated to her bedroom - Kate eventually got up and downed a couple beers in a row. They both knew they were being unfair and ridiculous but just couldn't bring themselves to be the first to admit it. After Kate finished a third beer - her hormonally charged edge started to wear away. She'd never lived in close quarters with another woman and had never considered the monthly consequence. She didn't want Juliet to be uncomfortable - and was no longer using the heating pad so she grabbed it and knocked on Juliet's door. "It's open." Juliet called out. Kate entered the room slowly, "I'm done with this." she said as she plugged it in and handed it to Juliet. Juliet gave her a half smile, "Thanks." Her eyes were soft - but her tone was dry. Kate returned to couch. After her stomach growled she realized they hadn't had dinner yet - and that if she was hungry Juliet probably was too. As she was thinking about what to do about it - she heard Juliet rummaging through the refrigerator. Juliet noticed the dwindled beer supply and the lack of dinner options, "Do you want more beer?" she asked as she shut the fridge and approached the couch. She leaned over the top, "I'm going to go grab takeout so I can pick up more - if you want." Kate could tell that she was forcing herself to appear to still be annoyed. Something about her scrunched brow and her half smirk was suddenly funny. Kate sat up, laughed softly - then smiled. She grabbed Juliet's hand and tugged until Juliet gave in - smiled back and then walked around the couch and sat down.
"I'm sorry." Juliet offered softly while rubbing her forehead. She continued, "I just - you know ... had one of those days. I shouldn't have taken it out on you." Kate put her hand on Juliet's thigh, "I'm sorry too. Let's just forget about it, have dinner," she raised her eyebrows, "... and keep drinking." Juliet laughed and teased, "I'll try and catch up." Juliet left and returned fairly quickly with a twelve pack and Chinese food. Kate set aside three beers and put the rest in the fridge while Juliet unpacked the food on the coffee table. Kate handed Juliet two of the beers, "Start trying." After they were finished eating and Juliet had succeeded in catching up with Kate on the beer front, she lifted her bottle, "Cheers." Kate lifted hers, raised an eyebrow, "Cheers to anything in particular?" she asked. Juliet thought for a minute, "Um, cheers to making-up?" Kate laughed and shook her head, "You're either the biggest dork in the world or occasionally charming." Juliet gave her a teasing slap on the leg, "Well you're hanging out with me, so what does that make you?" Kate finished her beer, sat it down on the table with gusto, then stood, "Drunk." she said as she smiled, grabbed Juliet's hand and pulled her up. Later they were in bed watching tv - Juliet was sitting in-between Kate's legs and leaning back against her. Neither Kate nor Juliet considered themselves to be cuddly people but it just always seemed to happen - especially when drinking was a factor. Kate liked to joke that it was an inconvenience. "If fighting means that I'm stuck with this make-up cuddling, we're never fighting again." Juliet yawned, "But you're cuddling me." Kate gave her a teasing push forward, "You're right. How did this happen?" Juliet smiled, turned off the tv - then crawled over to the side of Kate and laid down on her back, "The guest bed still exists over there if you want it." she teased. Kate had no interest in making an effort to sleep alone - but she was suddenly worried that maybe Juliet wanted her to leave. "Do you want me to go?" she asked in a serious tone. Juliet thought for a second, "Well - what I'd really like would be for you to turn into George Clooney and instead of make-up cuddling, we'd just move right on to make-up sex." The room was dark - but Juliet could still see Kate's face scrunch up in tipsy contemplation.
Juliet tugged on her arm, "Come here." Kate could barely see her - but could tell Juliet was smiling. Kate wanted to resist. She still couldn't completely wrap her head around how her and Juliet had gone from enemies, to barely friends - to cuddling in bed together. She chalked it up to a combination of loneliness and alcohol. Juliet sighed loudly and repeated her offer, "Come here." Kate caved in and laid down with her head on Juliet's chest. "I was just kidding around. I wouldn't replace you." Juliet said softly. Kate smiled, "If it meant sex with George Clooney I'd kick you out pretty fast." Juliet started playing with Kate's hair, "You can't kick me out. It's my room." Kate didn't respond right away - she was distracted by a string of thoughts about men, sex, and then her lack of men and sex - and then how convenient it would be if she was sexually attracted to Juliet. "What are you thinking about?" Juliet inquired. Kate tensed - then scrambled to think of something to say other than what she was actually thinking, "Um, just ... " For some reason, probably the alcohol slowing her brain down, she couldn't get anything out - but her thought trail kept going. Was she attracted to Juliet? Why were they so cuddly? Why wasn't their kiss awkward? Is this how all female best friends are? Juliet saved her, "If you're thinking about sex - you're not alone." Kate relaxed again, "Great minds ..." Juliet playfully added, "If I could have great cuddling and sex in one package you'd definitely be sleeping in the guest room ... unless we're secretly lesbians - then you can stay. I'm sure George would get over it eventually." Kate smiled and joked, "Was it supposed to be a secret?" Juliet intended to give her another teasing smack on the leg - but accidentally smacked her on the ass. "Sorry!" Juliet exclaimed. "No you're not." Kate said slyly. Juliet laughed then playfully pushed Kate off and onto her side - slid behind her, wrapped her arm around her waist. "Well - keep me updated on your sexual status. You're a decent kisser and I do have a thing for muscles." Kate yawned, "... yeah well, I've never really found doctors attractive."
Rachel called in the morning and begged them to go a beach house party with her. She had promised a friend she would go but didn't want to go alone. It was a beautiful evening - balmy as usual, but the stars seemed unusually abundant away from the city, and the breeze off the water pleasantly broke through the heat. Kate and Juliet were on the back deck, casually talking to a group of people around a fire - when Rachel approached them with a joint. The absurdity of Juliet smoking pot made Kate chuckle to herself. Rachel looked at Kate - and chuckled with her, "I'm pretty sure the laughing is supposed to come after the smoking." Rachel offered the joint to Juliet with a reassuring smile, "A friend gave some to me while you were gone, for pain. It's good stuff." Juliet hadn't smoked pot since early college during her very short-lived phase of trying to be cool. Kate hadn't smoked since a ride she caught hitchhiking in Australia. Juliet hesitated for a second but accepted the offer after she couldn't answer the question of "why not?" - then she passed it to Kate. Kate gave Juliet a half-smile paired with a look of disbelief - then shrugged her shoulders and took a hit. The joint went around the circle a couple times. Considering they had had a few drinks and hadn't smoked in years - they were decently high. They had forgotten that feeling of finding everything interesting and most things funny - and laughed and carried on and enjoyed themselves. At one point, Juliet looked over at Kate who was dressed up, wearing make-up - the fire was casting light on her face. Her freckles seemed to be glowing. I never noticed how green her eyes are, Juliet thought. Kate glanced over at Juliet, they caught eyes, "Do you want to take a walk on the beach?" Kate asked. "Yeah, sure."They stood, laughed when they almost tripped over each other - and headed for the stairs. They walked for a while in silence, shoes in hand - both mostly focused on the feel of the sand on their feet, the sound of the crashing waves, the moonlight stretched out over the surface of the water.
After they had unintentionally walked a good fifteen minutes away from the party Kate broke the silence, "Want to sit?" They talked about random party occurrences, their prior pot smoking experiences - laughed at how many times both of them forgot what they were talking about. Kate found herself gazing at Juliet's face and thinking about how the moonlight on her pale skin was so - exquisite. She laughed to herself for thinking of the word exquisite and was pretty sure she'd never used it before. Juliet grabbed Kate's hand and stood, "You ready to go back?" Kate smiled and shook her head, "Not yet. You can go. I'm ok here." She didn't want to be alone but she didn't want Juliet to feel like she had to stay. She was surprised that being near the shore was so comforting, so contented - and she wanted to hang on to that feeling for a bit longer. Juliet raised an inquisitive eyebrow - then sat back down. "Well, you're stuck with me then - because I'm not leaving you." Suddenly Kate was washed with the realization that maybe her enjoyment of the moment - the comfort, the calm, was due to more than just the high - maybe it was because of Juliet. She started to think about how lucky she felt to have such a good friend, but unintentionally said it out loud, "I'm lucky to have you." Juliet turned toward her, her eyes searched over Kate's face - then settled on her lips. She smiled and teased, "I'd kiss you if you weren't so ugly." Kate rolled her eyes, "I take it back. You're lucky to have me." Juliet laughed. Kate stood, held out her hand, "Let's go back." Juliet took it, stood - then pulled Kate into an embrace and confessed softly, "You're right - I am lucky to have you." Kate smiled against Juliet's shoulder.
The Long Count
Juliet came home in the late afternoon after having lunch with Rachel and found Kate working in the garden. Kate was wearing an old pair of Juliet's jeans and a tank top. Kate looked up as Juliet stepped out the backdoor, "Hi. How was lunch?" At the instant that Kate finished the question Juliet noticed the sweat gleaming off of her arms. God, she has nice arms, Juliet thought. She was distracted enough to be briefly tongue-tied. Kate joked, "That good, huh?" Juliet shook her head to bring herself back to reality. "Sorry, yes, it was good." Kate smiled and went back to pulling weeds. "Need any help?" Juliet offered. "Sure … but I borrowed your jeans. So you're either going to have to wrestle me for them or just not wear any." Juliet laughed, "Based on our previous mud wrestling experience – I'd probably just get hurt." Kate stood up to grab her water bottle, "You're probably right. So pant-less it is." Juliet raised her eyebrows, crossed her arms, "Any particular reason you're trying to get my pants off?" Kate finished taking a drink, then laughed, "Because it seems unfitting for you to live in Miami – and have legs as white as they are." Juliet rolled her eyes then went inside and came back out wearing a pair of shorts, "If I get burned - you owe me … something." Kate handed her a pair of gloves, "Deal." An hour later, they were squatting next to each other and Kate accidentally flicked dirt on Juliet, who then flicked dirt at Kate. Kate gave her a teasing shove to the side – Juliet shoved back, harder than she meant to and pushed Kate over. When Kate started to push herself back to her feet, she somehow lost her balance. She awkwardly caught herself, "Ugh" she yelped as her back twisted – then fully laid down in defeat. Juliet tried to stop herself from laughing – but couldn't, "You ok?" she finally managed to say. Kate shook her head in disbelief to what had just happened, "Nope." She gave Juliet a playful glare. "I'm so sorry. Did you pull a muscle?" Kate put her palms on her forehead, "Likely." Juliet scooted toward her, "Think you can stand up?" Kate nodded. Juliet took Kate's arm and put it over her shoulder – then they stood up together. Kate winced, "Well - fuck."
Juliet lead her into the bedroom, sat her down on the bed, "Hang on a sec." Juliet disappeared for a minute and came back with painkillers, water, and an icepack. "Lay down on your stomach." Kate took the pills then complied. "What part did you pull?" she inquired. "Lower left side." Juliet gently pushed around until she hit the spot– Kate sucked in her breath. "Right there." Juliet pulled her shirt back down – then sat the icepack on the pulled muscle. "You're gonna be down for the long count." Kate sighed. "You should go back and forth between ice and heat for a while. Want to watch a movie?" Kate nodded. "I'm going to run to the store to get something for dinner – so I'll rent one. Do you need anything?" Kate grunted, "No. Thanks. I'm ok." Juliet returned later with a couple movies. "Comedy or Horror?" she asked as she removed the ice, replaced it with the heating pad. "Comedy." Kate replied, then carefully maneuvered around so she was lying sideways across the bed. Juliet put the movie on, "I'm going to start dinner. I'll come back and check on you in a bit." Kate smiled, "Thanks." Juliet continued, "If you want to change clothes – I can help if you need it." Kate raised an eyebrow, "So now you're trying to get my pants off, huh?" Juliet replied sarcastically, "I can't help it. It's a doctor thing … too bad I don't have any medical gowns." Kate scrunched her nose, "Is it also a doctor thing to laugh when their patients get hurt?" Juliet shook her head and smiled, "Nope, that's pretty unique between me and you." Juliet started to leave the room, Kate called after her, "I can take my own pants off, thanks." Juliet yelled over her shoulder, "… technically you'd be taking my pants off." Kate laughed.
Juliet came in and out, changing back and forth between the ice pack and the heating pad. Kate was secretly enjoying the attention. Juliet was secretly enjoying giving the attention. "You hungry yet?" Juliet said as she started setting up pillows so Kate could lean back against them comfortably. "Are we eating in here?" she asked as she turned her head to see what Juliet was doing. "Yep. Doctor's orders." Kate took off the heating pad and slowly sat up. Juliet left and returned with dinner on tv trays. They finished watching the comedy. "Want to watch the scary one?" Juliet asked as she put the trays on the floor. Kate yawned, "Sure." Juliet switched the movies, then crawled back in bed. "How's your back?" she inquired as she reached behind Kate and pushed around again. "Better – but it's still sore." Juliet could tell the muscle was still tight, "Lay across my lap." Kate turned her head toward Juliet and gave her a confused look. Juliet smirked, "… so I can massage it and you can still see the tv." She moved a pillow to her side of her legs so Kate would have a mostly level surface to lie across. When the movie started to get interesting Juliet moved on from just the sore sport to mindlessly rubbing all of Kate's back. The repetitive, soothing motions of Juliet's hands on Kate's skin put Kate to sleep. Juliet woke her when the movie was over, "It's still early. Do you want to keep sleeping or … " Kate interrupted her, "No, I'll get up." She carefully pushed herself off Juliet's lap. Juliet stood and held out her hand, "Feel better?" Juliet asked as Kate took it and slowly stood. "Yes. Much. Thanks." Juliet smiled. "So what should we do now?" Juliet asked. Kate thought for a minute, "Dessert?"
They decided on frozen yogurt – which they got to go and then drove to an overlook outside of the city. "Boys used to take me here in high school to make out." Juliet said nonchalantly. Kate smirked, "Is that why you brought me here?" Juliet gave her a playful glare, "Well last time I only had to go as far as the bedroom, so driving all the way up here would be an unnecessary effort." Kate laughed, then confessed, "Most of the boys I dated just took me behind the bleachers." Juliet took a bite. "I dated a few of those," she raised an eyebrow, "… I guess I married one of those." She shook her head, "Men. Ugh." Kate laughed again, "What about the gay one in college? Did he wine and dine you?" Juliet nodded and sighed, "He was so romantic. He'd leave me cute little notes on my car and write me songs and bring me flowers. But we pretty much just only held hands and cuddled. God, how did I not know he was gay?" They both laughed. Kate joked, "We pretty much just hold hands and cuddle." Juliet playfully threw her hands up, "Well at least I'm finding out sooner rather than later that you're a gay man. Thanks for telling me now before breaking my heart." Kate smiled and teased, "I would never break your heart."
Strange, Everything
A couple weeks later they were people watching from their usual spot on the hill overlooking Miami Beach. A sporty blond in a bikini flashed by on roller blades. "How about her?" Kate nodded in the blonds direction. "Her?" Juliet scrunched her face. "What's wrong with her?" Kate questioned. "She's ok, I guess..." They were entertaining themselves with determining the others "type". Kate smiled and bumped Juliet's shoulder with her own, "Maybe you prefer brunettes ..." Juliet turned toward Kate and gave her a teasing glare. Nothing more had happened between them since ... 'that one night' - except for the usual cuddling, the occasional hand holding. But still - they felt like a couple, who weren't a couple, who sometimes acted like one - even if they didn't admit it to the other. It could be complicated, but somehow it wasn't. "How about him?" Juliet was looking at a surfer type who was surveying the beach. Before Kate could respond Juliet added, "Totally my type." Kate looked him up and down then looked at Juliet who might as well have been drooling.
Kate suddenly felt uneasy. What was going between her and Juliet? How had it lasted this long? Why was she still in Miami? What in the world was she going to do with her life? She didn't want Juliet to know that she was slightly panicking - so she took a deep breath, closed her eyes for a second. "He's hot." she finally replied. They sat in silence for a bit. Nearing out of left field Juliet stated softly, "I don't have any expectations." She continued to look toward the beach, her demeanor was calm. When Kate didn't say anything, Juliet turned towards her, "I mean, whatever this is..." she motioned back and forth between them, "... is great. And I don't want it to stop ... " she smiled, "I just ... - if you're interested in seeing someone ... " She might be the most adorable person on the planet, Kate thought. A long cry from Kate's first impression of her on the island. Strange how people change once you get to know them - strange how they met in the first place - strange, everything. Kate stood up. "I'll be right back." Juliet was puzzled but as she watched Kate get closer and closer to the beach she realized what Kate was doing. Kate came back up, sat down, and handed Juliet a piece of paper. "He likes blonds."
Kate determined that Juliet and Logan or "surfer boy", as Kate liked to call him, were officially "dating" after their fourth date. "We're not dating." Juliet gave Kate a half glare, half smirk. They were eating take-out, sitting on the couch, and drinking beer in their pajamas. "What about you and ... what's his name, from the bar?" Kate laughed. She went out with Rachel the week before and met a guy who wouldn't back down until she accepted his number. She called him the next night when Juliet was out late, then later. "We have nothing in common. I just went out with him to be nice." Juliet finished her drink and got up to put away the left overs. She grabbed more beer on the way back to the couch. When she sat back down - Kate swiveled around and put her legs across Juliet's lap. Juliet handed a beer to Kate. "Have you slept with him yet?" Juliet tried to ignore the question by bringing up something about Rachel and Julian. Kate stared at her until she answered. "No, I haven't slept with him." Her tone was dry.
It was obvious that she didn't want to talk about him any more - so Kate changed the subject. "I'm thinking about going back to LA. Clementine's birthday is coming up and Cassidy keeps asking if I'll be there ..." There was a cloud of tension hanging around, making them feel anxious - but neither knew completely why that was. "Yeah. You should go." They both took a drink, faster than normal. An hour later they were decently tipsy and the cloud was dwindling away. They turned on some ridiculous late night movie and made fun of it. After Kate discovered they were out of beer and returned to the couch - she found Juliet lying on her back, propped up by a few cushions. Kate sat down between Juliet's legs and leaned back against her. Juliet rested her chin on top of Kate's head, "Your hair smells good." Kate snickered, "It's your shampoo." Juliet smiled and rested her arms across Kate's lap.
Kate decided to fly to LA instead of driving. They night before her departure she met Juliet, Rachel, and Logan for dinner and drinks. Kate hadn't spent much time with Logan, who seemed to be mostly interested in drinking his gin and tonic, but he'd occasionally say something witty. Everyone seemed to be getting along. By the time Rachel needed to leave to relieve Julian's babysitter, Logan was slurring, Kate wasn't far off - and since Juliet had to drive Rachel home, she was sober and laughing at both of them. Kate and Logan were left to themselves. "So you met Juliet in college?" Kate was confused for a second. "Oh, yeah - college. She was a ... graduate student." Kate was worried that sounded more like a question than a statement. They talked about loving the beach as kids, climbing trees, and other random topics. Kate was surprised the conversation flowed so easily. When Juliet returned she found them at the jukebox comparing musical tastes. They both liked DriveShaft.
Kate almost let it slip that she knew Charlie - but Juliet interrupted her. "Want to dance?" Kate couldn't tell if she was asking her or him. Juliet and Logan danced for a song - and then Juliet led him back over to Kate. "I can't keep up with him." She panted. Logan grabbed Kate by the wrist and pulled her out to the unofficial dance floor. Juliet sat down and watched. They were both terrible dancers - which was the only reason Juliet agreed to dance with both of them when they caught her on her way to get a drink. One dance became a few dances - that became Logan and Juliet kissing, that somehow moved on to Logan and Kate kissing - that lead Juliet to ignore Kate's calls on her long, confused, drive home.
Kate took a taxi. She was drunk, embarrassed - and nervous. Did that actually just happen? How could she have let it happen? Her stomach hurt, her head hurt - and she felt devastatingly, alone. Juliet's bedroom light was still on when she got home - but she didn't dare bother her. For the first time, in what suddenly seemed like a very long time, Kate slept in the guest bed - or rather, didn't sleep. Her eyes were closed - but she was awake when Juliet came in not long after sunrise. She got in bed, pushed Kate onto her side, and slid behind her. Kate wanted to say something first - but couldn't get anything out. Her palms were sweating. Why wasn't Juliet saying anything? She could feel Juliet breathing - could almost hear her thinking, she could at least imagine ... ((How could you do this? Don't bother coming back after LA. FUCK YOU.)) "Do you need me to take you to the airport?" Juliet whispered near Kate's ear. It took a minute for Kate to be able to respond.
She was thinking about the night at the hotel - about the connection that she was pretty sure they both felt. She turned over to face Juliet - whose eyes looked cloudy, almost more gray than blue. Kate could tell she hadn't slept enough. "I'm sorry..." Juliet scooted back. "I know you are." She took a deep breath. "If you don't need me to give you a ride I'm going to leave in a bit ... "Kate didn't want her to feel obligated. "I can take a taxi." Juliet felt ... mostly - numb. She nodded, got out of bed, and started to leave the room. Kate jumped up, "Juliet." Juliet stopped and turned around, crossed her arms. "Kate." Kate approached her, hesitantly - having no idea what to say. They stared at each other. "Bye." Kate said cautiously. Juliet casually stepped towards Kate and cupped her face - her thumbs rested against Kate's lips. She looked Kate in the eye, then glanced down at her thumbs, "Bye." She turned around and left. Kate laid back down, shut her eyes - and listened to the gravel kick up and tumble as Juliet drove away.
Kate stayed in LA for longer than she originally planned - approaching three weeks. Cassidy enjoyed having her company - and visa versa. But Cassidy wasn't ... Juliet. She had only spoken to Juliet once, about a week after she arrived. Just a quick call - Juliet wanted to know that Kate arrived safely. Juliet called it off with Logan - who, like Kate, was genuinely apologetic. She lied to Kate. She had slept with him. She slept with him - then left to sleep in her own bed. She had liked Logan - and vice versa. But Logan wasn't ... Kate. The more time that passed, that they didn't talk, the more Juliet wished she could just let go of trying to figure it all out. Kate assumed that Juliet didn't want to talk to her. She had to go back to Miami eventually to at least get her car - but she had no plans beyond that, no ideas about what to do about anything.
Cassidy and Rachel
(Los Angeles)
Kate had returned to Los Angeles for Clementine's birthday but stayed weeks beyond.
Cassidy was curious as to why it appeared that she was avoiding going back to Miami.
"Ok. I can't take it anymore. What are you not telling me?" she inquired.
Kate shook her head, "What do you mean?"
(Miami)
Juliet met Rachel for lunch a week after Kate left for Los Angeles.
"Earth to Juliet." Rachel teased.
Juliet was obviously distracted by her own thoughts and didn't hear Rachel say her name or really any of their one sided conversation.
"Juliet." she said sharply and moved her head in an attempt to catch Juliet's eye.
"What is going on with you?" she inquired.
Juliet sighed.
(Los Angeles)
"I mean - you seem different. Something happened in Miami, didn't it?"
Kate nodded.
"Well ... spill it."
"We kissed."
Cassidy choked on the beer she was drinking, wiped her chin.
"Juliet? You and ... Juliet?" she scrunched her brow in disbelief.
Kate told her how it happened and then what happened with Logan.
"Wow. Your life is never boring, is it?"
(Miami)
Rachel joked, "Are you pregnant?"
Juliet told her everything.
"Well ... not what I expected, but ... wow. Have you talked to her?"
Juliet shook her head, "Once - to make sure she made it to LA."
Rachel scowled at her, "She probably thinks you hate her. Call her again."
"I can't call her. I don't know what to say."
"Tell her how you feel."
"How do I feel?"
"Sounds to me like you have feelings for her."
"Feelings? We're friends, of course we feel ... something - but I don't have feelings."
"I can't tell you how you feel Juliet - but I know you and the way you talk about Kate ... you never talked about Logan like that."
She continued, "Why did you even start dating him?"
"Because of Kate. She got his number and gave it to me - I thought she wanted me to date him. And I was attracted to him. We had great conversation, decent sex ..."
"But you left his bed - to go home to Kate. Doesn't that mean something?"
Juliet rubbed her forehead and sighed, "I'm straight, Rachel - so is Kate."
"But you made out with each other." she said assertively.
"Once. And it really wasn't that sexual - I mean, it was kind of a joke."
Rachel shook her head, "I wish you could hear how obvious it is that you're trying to convince yourself of that."
(Los Angeles)
"You should call her Kate - tell her how you feel."
"Feel? I feel like an idiot - and I'm pretty sure she knows that."
"No - tell her how you feel, about her."
"About her?"
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
"Come on Kate. Seriously? You like her."
Kate scrunched her nose.
"Like her? I'm straight. I don't like her."
Cassidy laughed. Kate glared at her.
"I'm sorry - it's just ... it seems so obvious that you like her and she likes you back."
"I think she hates me." Kate rubbed her eyes. "Ugh - what did I do?"
"Can you at least recognize that you feel differently about her, than any "friend" you've ever had?"
Kate bit her lip, "I don't know what you mean."
"You and I are close and we don't sleep in the same bed ... we barely even hug - we certainly don't kiss."
Kate sighed, "Fine. But that doesn't mean I like her."
"Well - you obviously miss her. I bet you don't miss me like that - or anyone else."
"Why is all of this so obvious to you?" Kate genuinely wondered.
(Miami)
"Were you turned on?" Rachel asked.
Juliet thought for a minute, then admitted, "Briefly."
"Can you imagine kissing her again?"
Juliet smiled to herself at the thought, "Yeah, I can."
"When is she coming back?"
"I don't know. Eventually, hopefully." Her tone was soft, distant.
"Well - at least you have some time to figure out how you feel."
Juliet imagined what would happen when Kate walked through the door.
Rachel noticed her expression change, "Your eyes light up when you think about her."
(Los Angeles)
"Would you kiss her again?"
Kate shrugged, "I don't know. I mean - it was nice, but ..." She trailed off.
"Were you turned on?"
Kate was sure her face turned red.
"I - I don't know, it just happened ... "
Cassidy glared at her.
Kate gave in, "Ok - yeah, yes - I was turned on."
Cassidy smirked and repeated, "Would you kiss her again?"
Kate playfully smiled back, "Maybe."
"If you don't call and give me an update I'll kill you."
"But maybe nothing will happen ... "
Cassidy raised her eyebrows, "Something - will definitely happen."
Strange, Everything: Continued
Kate arrived in Miami in the early evening and took a taxi to Juliet's. They had text earlier about how Juliet was working later than usual - maybe Kate could order pizza. Sitting around Juliet's house was making her more nervous than she already was - so she picked up the pizza to give herself something to do. She was just about to open a third beer when she heard the front door open. She froze for a second - her breath caught in her throat. Juliet went straight into her bedroom - probably changing, Kate thought. A few minutes later Juliet came into the kitchen. She stopped just past the doorway when she saw Kate. She leaned her shoulder against the refrigerator, crossed her arms, "Hi, Kate." Kate smiled, opened her third beer - and held it out toward Juliet. "Hi." Juliet stepped forward, took the beer, and sat it back on the counter. Kate took a long breath. Juliet surprised her - immensely - when she pulled her into an embrace. Kate wanted Juliet to know the truth, "I missed you." She squeezed tighter. Juliet pulled back and looked at Kate with those sky blue eyes, "I missed you too."
The Talk
Juliet's tone was calm, collected, "Let's talk." She opened the back door out to the patio. Kate was reminded of the countless times in school when she was sent to the principle's office. Those "talks" never made her as anxious as she was now. They sat down on the patio chairs - made small talk about the evening. Juliet's demeanor was so calm that it eased Kate's tension, "So ... " Kate ran her fingers through her hair. Juliet raised an eyebrow, then smiled, "So ... I broke it off with Logan." Kate leaned forward a bit, "Juliet, I ..." - "It wouldn't have lasted anyway." Juliet continued, "It's not your fault Kate, he kissed you and I know you're sorry ... " She trailed off, looked away. Kate put her hand on Juliet's knee, waited for Juliet to look at her, "But I want to apologize ... I shouldn't have let it happen. Logan wasn't..." Kate trailed off this time, weary about saying the wrong thing, weary about not saying the right thing.
Juliet rubbed her forehead, took a drink, "I'm not upset about Logan, Kate. We weren't even dating." She pulled her legs up on the chair, crossed them. She sighed, briefly closed her eyes. "I think it bothered me more to see you kiss someone else." Kate's eyes widened. She sunk back in her chair. Juliet continued, "I lied to you. I slept with him - then I came home ... after I thought about who I would rather wake up with." Kate was having trouble believing what she was hearing. She hadn't found waking up so rewarding since Jack - since before Jack's phase of jealously and addiction anyway. On workdays Juliet would set her alarm for fifteen minutes before she ever actually got out of bed and if they weren't already snuggling - she'd slide behind Kate and whisper, "Good morning." They'd sometimes fall back asleep but most of the time Kate forced herself to stay awake. The feeling of safety that Juliet gave her was much needed - when everything else was plagued with uncertainty. At first - hearing Juliet say that she would rather wake up with her felt like one of the most defining moments of certainty in her life. But then again - so was Jack's proposal, so was Aaron calling her mommy for the first time. Now that neither Jack or Aaron were in her life, she just couldn't push the doubt away - to commit herself completely to anyone that cared about her, in whatever way they cared about her. She knew for sure that she cared, deeply, about Juliet. Whenever the thought of not having Juliet in her life popped into her head she felt that sinking feeling all over again that she experienced on the return flight of 316 - like the outside world might as well not even exist because there was no place for her in it anyway. She thought about what happened between them before she went to Los Angeles - it made her cringe. "I don't know what to say." She shook her head, "I don't know what..." Juliet was biting her lip - she wasn't as collected as she was before they started talking. Kate sensed that she was just as confused as she was. "I was worried you'd never talk to me again." Kate admitted as she clasp her hands together. Juliet half sighed - half laughed, "So what do we do?" The question of the hour, Kate thought. She still didn't know what she should she do about anything let alone Juliet. She very briefly pictured them in bed together, cuddling - then kissing, then ... She cut off the thought trail and came up with a reasonable suggestion to distract herself, "You hungry?"
The Talk: Continued
They continued the conversation at the kitchen table. "Thanks for getting the pizza." They avoided talking further about whatever was going between them and instead talked small talk, then moved on to Kate's time in LA. "Want to see pictures from the birthday party?" Juliet nodded, "Sure." Kate grabbed her camera from the guest room. She pulled her chair close to Juliet's and narrated as Juliet clicked through. Kate's knee accidentally touched Juliet's. "Sorry." Kate apologized as she moved her knee away. Juliet put the camera down and looked at Kate, mostly at her lips - that were inches away from hers. The tension was thick, swirling. They both were thinking the same thing ... ((it would be so easy just to lean in and kiss her)). But the only move either made was by Kate, who suddenly stood up. Juliet took a deep breath. "You done with the pizza?" Kate asked. Before Juliet could respond she picked up the box and put it in the fridge. Then she picked up the empty beer bottles, threw them away. Her nervous energy made her want to be busy. Juliet finished her drink, then stood and handed the bottle to Kate who was blocking the trashcan. Their fingers touched. "You ready for bed?" Juliet inquired. Kate put her hands in her pockets, "Sure."
While Juliet was brushing her teeth, Kate considered sleeping in the guest room. She was pretty sure that if she slept in Juliet's bed something, on a very long list of potential somethings, would happen. On reviewing the potential scenarios, the line between being excited and being nervous was blurring more and more. She was standing in the doorway of the guest room, looking at the bed, when Juliet came up behind her. Kate turned around. "I have to work early tomorrow." Kate took it as a confirmation that her instinct to sleep in the guest bed was a good idea - and she was relieved that the decision was out of her hands. "Ok. Goodnight." Juliet looked confused for a second - then smiled, "I just meant that you'll have to get up even earlier to make breakfast." Kate playfully rolled her eyes. Juliet continued, "You can sleep where ever you'd like." Kate took a step toward her, which surprised Juliet who took a half step back - inches from her back touching the hallway wall. "Thanks. I will." She smirked then headed toward the bathroom. Juliet watched Kate walk away for a second - then went into her room, got into bed.
While Kate brushed her teeth, washed her face - she weighed her options, again. The rebel in her wanted to sleep in the guest bed just because she knew that's not what Juliet wanted. It took her about an hour of staring at the ceiling in the guest bed - before she surrendered to the inevitable and joined Juliet who was already asleep. Kate woke up an hour or so before Juliet's alarm was set to go off. She snuck out of bed, made coffee - started to get milk out of the refrigerator for a bowl of cereal and realized Juliet had plenty of ingredients to make an actual breakfast. Why not, Kate thought. She wasn't much of a cook but she figured she could handle breakfast standards. Juliet had been so accommodating, despite everything, that Kate wanted her to feel - appreciated. She heard the alarm go off - the shower running - and had just put Juliet's coffee on the table when Juliet came into the kitchen.
Juliet looked at the table, then at Kate and smiled. "Good morning." Kate said as she washed her hands. "Good morning." Juliet replied then came up behind Kate, wrapped her arms around Kate's waist, put her chin on Kate's shoulder, "Does this mean if I joke about making dinner, you will?" Kate dried her hands, then turned around, "It means ... that I'm glad to be back." Her tone was sincere - then she joked, "... and I'm pretty sure you're taking me out for dinner." Juliet smirked, then leaned in close to Kate - their lips almost touched, then she pulled back, "Pick you up at 8?" Kate smiled, "I'll have to check my schedule." Juliet gave her a teasing hit to the shoulder then sat down at the table. They finished eating - then Juliet gathered her things while Kate started the dishes.
Juliet stopped by the kitchen on her way out, "See you tonight." Kate leaned back against the counter, "See ya." Juliet turned to leave, then paused, turned back around - walked up to Kate and gave her a quick kiss on the lips. Kate still couldn't explain to herself why being close to Juliet felt so natural - when it had never been in her nature before to have an interest in women. After enduring the island it seemed like something as trivial as gender shouldn't stand in the way of the first genuine feelings she'd had for anyone - since Jack. Juliet broke the kiss and started to leave, again - but Kate grabbed her wrist and pulled her back around, "We can do better than that ... " Juliet laughed, "That's my line." Kate pushed Juliet's hair behind her ears, then leaned in. The kiss was slow - their tongues rhythmic. Juliet realized that she had accepted her feelings for Kate - even if they were indefinable - during the third week of her being in LA. She was curled up on the couch, drinking a glass of wine, and thinking about how everything was better when Kate was there.
When I Think About You
Juliet was relaxing on the couch with a glass of wine, attempting to read a book - but she couldn't stop herself from thinking about, Kate. Kate had been in Los Angeles for over two weeks and Juliet was still unsure of when she was returning. Juliet put the book down and closed her eyes. She wished Kate was sitting with her - that they were laughing about something, talking about anything. Maybe they would be sitting close enough that their legs were touching, maybe they'd get a little drunk and one of them would casually rest her hand on the others thigh. Maybe they'd watch a movie - Kate would want to sit in-between Juliet's legs, lean back against her. Juliet would get up the nerve to casually kiss Kate's shoulder, then her neck, then ...
Juliet opened her eyes and sighed - drank the rest of her glass and poured another. She thought about the night that Logan kissed Kate - about how Kate had kissed back. It had made her feel so - defeated, like she was doomed to never be happy or to find the right kind of love. Uncertainly weighted her down - held her back from telling Kate how she felt, held her back from being completely truthful with herself. But tonight was different. Time had passed - and Juliet missed her. She wanted it all with Kate - friendship, partnership, and ... sex. God, she wanted sex. Satisfying, emotional - sex. The more wine Juliet drank, the harder it was to ignore the sensation between her legs that thinking about Kate was causing.
Her mind drifted back to the kissing of the neck scenario. She sat down the wine glass and closed her eyes again. She's kissing Kate's neck - Kate moans. She's running her hands up and down Kate's torso - her fingers graze over Kate's nipples. Kate moans again and arches her back - then turns over, takes Juliet's hands and pins them over her head. She holds them together with one of her hands, and with the other - slowly moves it down - in-between Juliet's legs. Juliet mimics her vision of Kate with her own hand - slides it in-between her legs, begins gently touching herself.
Kate is teasing her - barely pressing down, barely moving back and forth - then suddenly she slides two fingers inside Juliet, in, out, in, out - faster and faster. Juliet moans, slides her own fingers in and out - and then focuses on reaching climax. Now Kate is using her tongue - swirling it around, flicking at the perfect pace. Now they're kissing - their tongues thrashing, Kate's demanding hers to keep up. Juliet rubs harder, faster ((Kate, Kate, Kate)). "Kate" she breathes out as she orgasms. The following morning - Juliet found herself still on the couch, her hand still down her pants - her thoughts still overrun with unruly brown hair, splashes of freckles, and those daring hazel eyes.
The Talk: Continued
Kate put her hands on Juliet's waist - then pulled her hips forward so they were touching hers. Juliet lowered her arm and let her purse fall to the ground - then reached up and cupped Kate's face. The kiss deepened. Juliet pushed Kate back against the counter, then happened to catch a glimpse of the clock - she pulled back, "Fuck", she whispered, "I have to go." She picked up her purse, gave Kate one last peck, and hurried out the door. Kate ran her fingers through her hair - a smile tugged on the corners of her mouth.
Kate spent part of the day with Rachel and Julian at the beach. They took a stroll down the boardwalk and Rachel noticed Kate seemed distracted, "You ok?" Kate was looking out over the water as they walked - and had been occasionally smiling to herself, sometimes biting her lip. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking." Rachel left it at that. Kate didn't know that Juliet had told her everything. Rachel was just happy that her sister finally seemed something more than distant, unsettled. Kate couldn't help it. All of her thoughts lead back to Juliet. What was going to happen when Juliet got home? What did she want to happen? What if it doesn't work out?
Juliet came home with a bottle of wine and take-out. They ate at the table then opened the wine and moved to the couch. Juliet seemed tense - she wasn't saying very much. It made Kate nervous. They drank quickly, finished the bottle. In a bout of silence Kate put her hand on top of Juliet's. Juliet turned toward her and saw that Kate looked worried. During quiet moments at work Juliet couldn't help but think about Kate - wondering what Kate was thinking, feeling. Constantly questioning circumstance was certainly familiar, but no matter how logical it was to just ask Kate where she stood - Juliet was having trouble actually doing it. Juliet motioned for her to scoot closer. Kate swung her legs over Juliet's and Juliet rested her hands on Kate's knees. Kate broke the silence, "Do you work tomorrow?" Juliet shook her head, "Nope." Kate raised her eyebrows, "More wine?" Juliet lifted up Kate's legs, "I'll get it."
A couple glasses later - they felt more relaxed, but the tension was still hovering. They were both leaning back on either side of the couch, their legs stretched out, in between the others. Juliet was tired - from working too much, from thinking too much. Kate noticed, "Don't let me keep you up." Kate still had so much nervous energy she couldn't imagine sleeping. Juliet smiled at her, "Then come to bed." Kate shook her head, "Not tired." Juliet put her hand on Kate's leg, playfully rubbed it, "We don't have to sleep ... " Kate laughed. "Ha, Ha." She knew Juliet was joking but at the same time - wasn't. Regardless, Kate found her lightheartedness comforting. Kate stood up, held her hand out for Juliet and joked, "I'll tuck you in." Juliet took her hand, stood up, "Is that some sort of code for something else?" she asked as they walked toward the bedroom. Kate opened the door, raised an eyebrow, "Guess you'll find out."
Wake Up Slow
They both changed into sleepwear. Juliet got into bed, propped her head up with her palm, "You staying?" She was fairly sleepy and had no expectations. There was no need to rush - when she still wasn't sure where they might be rushing to. Kate approached her, leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, "I'm going to watch tv for a bit." Juliet playfully scrunched her nose in defiance, rolled onto her back, "I don't even get tucked in?" Kate smirked and crossed her arms. Juliet teased in a nonchalant tone, "It's fine. Go watch tv. I'll be ok by myself." Kate shook her head - mostly in response to the effect that Juliet's charm had on her. She teased back by sighing loudly - then crawled over Juliet, got under the covers, and pushed Juliet back onto her side. She slid behind her, rested her hand on Juliet's hip. Juliet smiled, "You can watch tv in here if you want." Kate tucked Juliet's hair behind her ear, "Too late. Now you'll have to entertain me." Juliet laughed, grabbed Kate's hand, laced their fingers together.
They laid in silence, playing with the others fingers - until Kate let go, and innocently began running her fingers over the bottom seam of Juliet's tank top. When the tips of her fingers grazed Juliet's skin - they both tensed for a second. Kate pushed up the fabric and trailed her fingers over Juliet's stomach muscles. Juliet's breathing got louder, deeper. Kate had had no actual intention of turning her on, she was just kidding around - sort of, but it was clear it was happening by the sounds Juliet was making, by how her hips started moving. Kate admitted to herself that she enjoyed being in control, it came natural - Juliet, currently, didn't seem to mind either. Maybe part of Kate's enjoyment was some repressed need for payback for Juliet being apart of Kate being locked in a cage, put in handcuffs, tied with ropes. Thinking about those situations, in the situation they were in now, made Kate smile to herself at the absurdity of it. It was also a surprising turn on.
Kate began moving her hips, softly trailed her finger tips over Juliet's torso - accidentally grazed over Juliet's nipple. Juliet moaned. She pulled her hand away but Juliet grabbed it, put hers on top of Kate's, and guided Kate's back over her breast - back and forth. She then guided it down slowly until they reached her inner thigh. She was hoping Kate was getting the picture - and would take it from there. Kate got the picture loud and clear. She imagined what she would want should she be in Juliet's position - but hesitated to start. Juliet sensed her hesitancy and put her hand back on top of Kate's - then started teasing herself with Kate's hand. Slow circles, so close. After a few minutes Kate gained confidence and pulled Juliet's hip toward her, Juliet rolled on her back. Kate got on top of her, slid her hand down and in between Juliet's legs. Juliet reached up and pulled Kate down close enough to kiss her. Thrusting, tongues, hands, moans - until they both were satisfied.
They laid next to each other, breathing heavily. When Kate caught her breath - she climbed back on top of Juliet, rested her head above Juliet's chest, and tucked her arms under her shoulders. Juliet ran her hands up and down Kate's back. After a few minutes of silence Kate pulled back, smiled, "That was …" she bit her lip, raised her eyebrows, "Wow." Her tone was playful, but not overshadowed by the sincerity in her eyes. Juliet tugged down on Kate's shirt and waited until after they were kissing to close her eyes. Many more kisses later, Kate was draped across Juliet who was still lying on her back - Juliet was playing with Kate's hair. "I might fall asleep." Kate confessed. She was listening to Juliet's heartbeat, her breathing - and everything about everything was so calm and soothing that her eyes were refusing to stay open. Juliet was struggling to stay awake as well and was relieved that Kate was letting her off the hook, "Me too."
They woke up slowly - explored just about every cuddle position imaginable. Juliet got up briefly to bring Kate a glass of water while Kate propped herself up with pillows against the headrest and turned on the news. The morning Miami sun was illuminating the room with a quiet demeanor - a storm was expected in the early afternoon. When Juliet returned she sat the glass on the nightstand, then crawled back onto bed and laid on her side, put her head in Kate's lap. It took her all of two commercials to find the temptation to kiss Kate's exposed skin where her shirt had bunched up from sitting, absolutely irresistible. She made a trail along Kate's waistband, then up as high as the bunched fabric would allow. She looked at Kate, until Kate looked down at her, and suggested that Kate should take off her shirt by playfully tugging up on it. For as intimate as they had been, they had never seen the other naked - and they were both equally curious. Kate casually complied. As was obvious even when she had clothes on, Kate's body was stunning. Juliet continued to kiss her way over it and laughed when Kate's stomach growled. "What exactly are you hungry for?" she teased. Kate gave her a playful evil eye.
They had breakfast, visited Rachel and Julian, and then decided to take a stroll down the beach before the storm arrived. We could be on the island, Kate thought. But if they were on the island, walking alone together - it would be for some very different reason. Her feelings for Juliet were hard to sort out - but she never doubted the comfort, the intimate camaraderie. On the island Juliet was mostly just the other woman standing in-between her and Jack. She felt protective of her now, a deep bond she hadn't dared called love - yet. Their sexual relationship was a side-note, another layer of wonderful complication. She tried to conjure up an image of her post-island life without Juliet - but instead kept picturing Juliet's smile, kept hearing her addicting laugh - kept feeling the satisfaction that emanated from those cerulean eyes.
Kate was embarrassed on the nights Juliet was out with Logan - when she wanted to be happy that Juliet was happy - but instead felt invaded. It was an unfortunately familiar feeling - like when she saw Jack eating dinner with Juliet that one particular night on the island. She briefly felt that instinctual urge to run away the first time Juliet didn't sleep at home, then it transformed into an urge to simply get away, with Juliet - to some quiet place where the outside world was only an idea. But Juliet was dating - so Kate assumed Juliet wanted something ... that Kate couldn't give her. Even though Logan was out of the picture now - what about tomorrow, or the next day, or the next? Who else might Juliet be interested in? Men occasionally caught Kate's eye. She entertained the thought of what it would be like to attempt a relationship with any one of them. Maybe she should try it - if Juliet was - why shouldn't she?
The sky had turned dark - but a few surfers were out taking their chances in the very soon to be chaotic water. Juliet immediately recognized Logan as he approached the shoreline on his board. His timing was unfortunate - walking up the beach toward the boardwalk right as Kate and Juliet passed. He did a double take. Juliet was mentally crossing her fingers that he didn't actually notice them. "Juliet." He called after she and Kate turned around, "Hi Logan." Juliet's tone was pleasant but not too pleasant. She didn't really have anything to say to him but she had to say something. She was sure her discomfort was obvious. Logan said a sheepish, "Hi Kate." Kate looked at Juliet - who had crossed her arms - then looked back at Logan and said a quick hello. Juliet and Logan made awkward small talk for a couple minutes. Kate watched their interaction - and only appeared to be listening. Her mind was swirling with flashbacks of that night - when he had kissed her and she kissed back. Kate suddenly realized that kiss had been about Juliet - just like sleeping with Sawyer that one night had been about Jack. Eventually Logan took his cue to make an exit. "Good to see you guys." He seemed vulnerable - clearly still regretful. They briefly watched him walk away before continuing their stroll, which quickened with anxious energy. Kate felt relieved and nervous all at once. She realized now that she wanted something - more, with Juliet - but did Juliet want the same thing? Juliet put her hands in her pockets. "Well that was ... " Kate nodded her head in agreement, "Yep."
The breeze off the water was cool, Juliet pulled up on Juliet's arm, took her hand, and moved closer to wondered how Juliet might be feeling - having seen Logan again, having been reminded of Kate's betrayal. They continued walking in silence, down to the pier, and then back towards the car. Being near the ocean, together, might always leave a million things unspoken - necessarily and understood. It had just started raining when they reached the parking lot. Kate was about to turn the keys to start the car - but stopped, sat back. The questions were so loud in Kate's head, the rain was pouring down so fast - that she accepted the need to just ask Juliet how she felt, although she didn't quite know how to phrase it. She turned her head to look at Juliet, "What are we doing Juliet?" Juliet tilted her head slightly to the side, sighed - but didn't respond. Instead she stared out the windshield - watched the rain drip down. Kate continued, "I know this is new for both of us ..." she bit a fingernail, "... I just don't ... I mean, how does this work if one of us wants to see other people?" Juliet kept her eyes on the rain, her tone was dry but sweet, "I don't want to see anyone but you." She turned her head toward Kate, who couldn't help but smile as relief washed over her like the rain over the windshield. Kate had been waiting to admit to her feelings until she understood them. Seeing Logan made it all fall in place.
"I wanted to be happy for you and Logan..." she shook her head, "... at first I didn't know why it bothered me so much that you were with him." She paused, took a breath, then admitted, "I don't want to see anyone else either - whatever "seeing" is ... " Juliet raised an eyebrow, put her hand on Kate's thigh, "I say we ignore labels and just be, whatever we are." Kate put her hand on top of Juliet's and joked, "I'm pretty sure we fall into the category of Jack's wildest dream." Juliet was glad that Kate was able to joke about anything island related - and was pleasantly surprised that she could joke about Jack. She hadn't really said much about him - and Juliet hadn't pried out of respect. Kate started the car, turned on the wipers. Juliet watched her briefly scan over the revealed ocean view - watched her face tense, then relax. She turned her head back toward Juliet, "Let's go home."
Stormy Day Sex
They got back in bed as soon as they got home and then continued their cuddling exploration. "This would never work with a guy." Kate said as she rolled on her side to spoon Juliet. "Any time I've tried to just cuddle they always get turned on." Juliet laughed, "How do you I'm not turned on?" Kate smiled, then kissed Juliet's neck, "I guess I don't." She kissed Juliet's collarbone. "You can't keep kissing me and expect me to not get turned on." Kate stopped, then rolled over away from Juliet, "Then you better do the spooning." Juliet slid behind her and teased, "I've been turned on since the car ride, so I think you're out of luck." Kate smiled. Juliet bent her knee, pushed it in-between Kate's and whispered, "We don't have to do anything but lay here." Kate grabbed Juliet's hand. Juliet nuzzled Kate's neck. Kate was definitely thinking of all sorts of things they could do beyond just laying there but at the same time all she really wanted to do was just lay there. She wanted to be held, to feel safe – to take time to process what she could of everything that had happened since her arrival in Miami.
They laid around for hours – sometimes talking, sometimes just thinking. At some point they were facing each other with a hand on the others hip. "Craziest place you've ever had sex?" Kate asked. Juliet smiled, "Easy. The island." Kate laughed, "That doesn't count." Juliet thought for a minute. "The control booth of a rollercoaster – after hours. My high school boyfriend worked at an amusement park. You?" Kate thought for a minute. "Airplane bathroom – during my senior class trip to New York." Juliet looked surprised, "Really? People actually do that?" Kate smirked, "The fun ones do." Juliet playfully rolled her eyes. "Ok. My turn," Juliet said, "How often do you masturbate when you don't have a partner?" Kate was caught off guard. "Um, depends, I guess." Juliet continued, "Have you done it since you've been living here?" Kate raised a suspicious eyebrow, "Are you trying to turn me on?" Juliet smiled, started rubbing her thumb against Kate's hip. "No, but let me know if you are." Kate gave her a playful glare. "Yes, I have. Have you?" Juliet nodded. They revealed to each other the times that they masturbated while thinking about the other. "So while I was doing it in the shower, you were doing it in my bed?" Kate laughed and nodded. "Are you telling me that to turn me on?" Juliet teased. Kate leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "I'm telling you because you asked."
Juliet had a mile long list of other questions she'd like to ask Kate. She knew isolated facts from reading her file years ago but she wanted the whole story – the reasoning, the intent, the emotion behind - everything. But Kate wasn't much of a talker and Juliet wasn't in a hurry. She could save the intense questions for the times when they seemed naturally pressing. For the time being Juliet was content just to be in Kate's presence – elated to be touching her. Juliet leaned over and gave her a quick kiss back, then another – then was surprised when Kate pressed her hip down, gently forcing Juliet to lie on her back. Kate pinned Juliet down with the side of her knee, then laid her head down on Juliet's chest and continued their questions game, "Favorite spot to be kissed?" She started playing with the hem of Juliet's t-shirt. "My hipbones." Kate pushed up her shirt a little, lightly ran her fingers across Juliet's hipbone. Juliet sucked in her breath. "Your collarbone, right?" Kate nodded and continued to run her hand under Juliet's shirt and along the top of her jeans. Juliet was having trouble determining whether or not Kate's intentions were sexual or still just exploratory – regardless having Kate's hand under her shirt and almost down her pants was driving her crazy in a very good way. "What are you thinking about?" Juliet asked. Kate sat up, rested her hands on Juliet's thigh and said a nonchalant, "You." Juliet smiled as Kate got out of bed and started to leave the room. "Where are you going?" Kate stopped in the doorway, turned around and smirked, "I'm going to get you drunk."
Kate was the one who needed the alcohol – mostly just to relax. She wanted to be able to make the first move but couldn't get past the better option of waiting for Juliet to make it. It was making her anxious. Juliet followed her into the kitchen. Kate grabbed them both a beer. "I don't have to be drunk to make out with you, you know." Juliet joked - then became worried that maybe it was Kate who needed to be. She watched Kate take a long drink. "Drinking and then making-out must just be something only fun people do." Kate joked. Juliet took a drink, "Like the ones who have sex on planes?" Kate nodded, then motioned for Juliet to come closer to her. She put her arms around Juliet's neck, "I don't want to make-out with you though." Juliet raised a concerned eyebrow. Kate smiled, "What I'd like to do is much more involved." She leaned over and kissed Juliet. Juliet broke the kiss, "… well, if I'm drunk – you're free to take advantage of me." Kate laughed then confessed, "I was hoping you'd take advantage of me. I don't know where to start." She took another long drink. Juliet smiled, "You are – I'm going to say it … adorable. And … " she chugged the rest of her beer, then grabbed Kate's hand and said as she lead her back to the bedroom, "… you already started."
Midnight Brownies
A few days later they were both reading on the couch."I'm hungry." Juliet said with a pleading look in her eyes. Kate looked at the clock, "It's almost midnight. Did Rachel give you something you didn't tell me about?" Juliet laughed and shook her head, "Nope. Just naturally hungry. No explanation." Juliet swung her legs over Kate's lap, "You're not hungry at all? We ate dinner early." Kate shook her head and continued to read. Juliet playfully stared at her until Kate couldn't ignore her anymore. She looked up from her book, "We have plenty of food. I can make you something." Juliet wanted to rip Kate's book from her hands, throw her over her shoulder - and not leave the bedroom for at least a year. She was attracted to just about everything about her, including her adorably sweet side that she never saw a speck of on the island. But then again - why would she have even considered putting adorable and Kate together back then - when Kate was just another unfortunate player on team, "Let's get the fuck off of this island." and Juliet couldn't imagine knowing her. Juliet was having trouble gauging the appropriate amount of 'more than friends' touching that she could get away with. If she had her way her some part of her body would be touching Kate's at pretty much all times - but she had always been touchy with romantic partners - and god, touching Kate - was wonderfully consuming. Her libido was through the roof and had been since she spent the night masturbating with Kate in mind while Kate was still in Los Angeles. Juliet's stomach growled, "Want to make brownies?" she suggested.
Kate held up a finger covered in batter to be playfully cliché. Juliet gently grabbed her wrist and licked her finger clean - teasingly slow. Kate couldn't keep her eyes off Juliet's lips. God, those lips ... "If you want these brownies to get baked - you should probably avoid licking any part of my body." Kate confessed. Juliet laughed - then leaned toward her, tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her neck, then kissed it again, and again. Kate closed her eyes, "Mmm ... you should probably also avoid kissing any part of my body." Juliet pulled back, raised an eyebrow - and then quickly poured the batter into the pan and put it in the oven. "We have twenty-five minutes." she smirked as she set the timer. She grabbed Kate's hand, lead her over to the couch - playfully pushed her down then crawled on top of her. Kate kept surprising herself by taking the sub-dominant role considering she held her own as the aggressor with men. Juliet started kissing her neck again, then pushed up her shirt and kissed a trail along the top of her jeans. Kate closed her eyes and began picturing Juliet unbuttoning her jeans, pulling them off at the same time as her underwear. Right when she got to Juliet's tongue swirling in all the right places - Juliet's trail of kisses ended back on Kate's neck. Kate opened her eyes and found Juliet smiling at her, "Tell me what you want." As turned on as Kate was - something about the way Juliet was looking at her, something about the comforting feeling of Juliet's weight pressing down, something about the intoxicating depth of her ocean blue eyes lead Kate to reach around Juliet and pull her into an embrace.
"You ok?" Juliet asked as Kate stroked her back. "I'm more than ok." Juliet pulled back to investigate the honesty of her statement. Kate continued, "Maybe we can just slow down?" Juliet was suddenly embarrassed - she sat back on Kate's hips, "Sorry." she bit her lip, "I'm just assuming that you're also turned on 24 hours a day - I can stop ..." Kate interrupted her, "It's more than an assumption." she smiled, "I haven't been this constantly horny since my first boyfriend." Juliet looked relieved and offered, "We can take it as slow as you'd like." Kate tugged down on Juliet's shirt - and then they kissed - slowly, deeply - dare either of them say, lovingly ... yet. Kate confessed, "I just want time to take this all in. I don't want to rush." Juliet smiled, "Me either. It's still hard to believe isn't it? You and I?" Kate nodded, "... but somehow it also isn't." They smiled at the same time. After the timer dinged they took a break from gushing over each other and entered the kitchen. "I'm going to take a shower. Can you take those out?" Juliet's eyes dropped down to the level of the oven door, next to where Kate was standing. Kate joked, "You do mean the brownies, right?" Juliet laughed, raised her eyebrows and then headed toward the bathroom.
As Kate sat the brownies on top of the stove to cool - she became nervous. She knew she was going to end up joining Juliet in the shower, but she was still unsure on exactly what to do with a woman - especially when there was no alcohol involved. After a few minutes of listening to the water run - Kate gave in to the growing sensation between her legs and pushed open the bathroom door. She watched Juliet's silhouette while she undressed. The thought of warm water dripping off of Juliet's body was enough for Kate to overcome her nerves and pull back the curtain. Juliet was tipping her head back, rinsing her hair - unintentionally pushing her breasts up and out. Kate's eyes went straight for them as she stepped in - her hands followed. She ran her fingertips over Juliet's nipples - it caused Juliet to moan, open her eyes, and stand up straight, "Mmm." They each ran their hands over the others body - exploring, pleasuring, forgetting they didn't really know what to do. Kate had been slowly running her fingers between Juliet's legs for a while - when Juliet pulled her hand away, "I don't want to cum yet." Her protest - and the smirk she gave when she made it - made Kate want to make her cum right then and there ... especially since Juliet had already gotten her off. But Juliet turned off the water and stepped out. Kate sighed then followed. Juliet handed her a towel and asked, "Still want a brownie?"
They were both hovering near the brownie pan in their towels. Juliet cut a square out, playfully fed it to Kate, "Yum." she said with a mouthful. Juliet raised an eyebrow, "Me or the brownie?" Kate gave her a teasing shove to the side and grabbed a glass to get a drink of water, "You just confirmed my suspicion that you are actually the biggest dork in the world." Juliet laughed, stole the glass from Kate, took a drink - then handed it back to her. I love it when she laughs, Kate thought as she watched her take a bite. Her eyes went back to Juliet's lips, then to her tongue as she licked them - then her thoughts took her down the path of all the things Juliet could do with that tongue - then onto a vision of what Kate could do with hers. Kate took a step forward - ran her hand up Juliet's thigh at the same time, "You ready for bed?" Juliet smiled - then took Kate by the hand, lead her to the bedroom. Juliet attempted to take the dominant role again - but Kate playfully wrestled her until she ended up on top. She kissed her long and hard. "Have anything in mind?" Kate asked as she took off her towel - then picked up where she left off in the shower, slowly rubbing her fingers between Juliet's legs. Juliet shook her head. Kate leaned down and whispered near Juliet's ear, "Liar." She tugged on Juliet's towel. Juliet playfully sighed as she sat up to take the towel off, then laid back down and said in an abrupt tone, "Ok, fine. Replace your hand ... with your tongue." Kate was kissing a trail down to her belly button. She looked up at Juliet, "Ok. But will you tell me if I'm not doing it right?" Juliet laughed, threaded her fingers through the top of Kate's hair, "Just think of whatever you'd want me to do to you - and do that. There's only right."
A couple hours and many orgasms later - they were attempting to fall asleep, but mostly they were enjoying just laying together. After a bout of silence one of them would say something, which lead to a short conversation, which usually ended with kissing and then 'more than friends' touching. "We're never going to leave this bed, are we?" Juliet said with a smile. Kate was sprawled across her, playing with Juliet's fingers. She looked at the clock, "We have five more hours." Juliet was confused for a minute and then remembered it was a work day. "Ugh. I completely forgot." Kate smiled at the obvious reason for Juliet's forgetfulness. "Take a sick day." Kate offered. Juliet pondered her suggestion for a minute. "I guess I could." Kate frowned, "You guess?" then she began kissing Juliet's neck. "I mean, I haven't taken one yet. Should be fine." Kate crawled on top of her, "Should be?" Juliet gave her a playful look of contemplation, "I should really think through the pros and cons." Kate smirked, "Well - this would be a pro ... " she leaned down, slowly kissed her - then continued, "... and a con ... um ..." - Juliet interrupted her, " ... that we won't be apart for eight hours and then you won't get to miss me and spend all day daydreaming about me coming home." God - she's adorable, Kate thought - then teased, "I could just lock you in the tool shed for eight hours." Juliet gave her a playful glare, "Ha ha." Kate smiled, "We'll call it even for you locking me in a polar bear cage." Juliet nodded, "Fair enough." Kate could tell by Juliet's change of expression that her comment had lead Juliet's mind down an island thought-trail, "Just so you know ... I forgive you for all of that. Well - maybe not the handcuffs part." Juliet smiled again, raised her eyebrow, "But that was the best part."
Five hours later Juliet called into work from bed. After she got off the phone - Kate looked at her with a satisfied smirk, "Glad to know I'm so influential." Juliet sighed as she sat her phone on the side table, then straddled Kate with her knees and sat down on her hips. "Hmm. You're only influential because you're cute. Otherwise - you got nothin'." Kate laughed, "Agreed. This relationship is clearly only based on my cuteness." Juliet rolled her eyes, "Just your cuteness, huh?" She reached for her phone, "I can still go in today." she said playfully. Kate grabbed the phone first and tossed it on the floor, "Ok, ok - you're cute. Fine. I said it. Please don't leave." In Juliet's opinion - Kate's playfully pleading look was arguably the most adorable playfully pleading look ever given. "Well - since you're the reason I have the day off ... " Juliet lightly ran her fingertips over Kate's nipples, " ... you're going to have to come up with something to pass the time." Kate put her hands behind her head, nonchalantly said, "Well - I can't really think of anything." Juliet ignored her sarcasm, "Well I can." she said as she scooted back, leaned down - then began slowly licking circles around Kate's belly button. Kate moaned, "You're right - we're never going to leave this bed and you're going to have to quit your job."
Beyond Moving On
A month later Juliet was sitting on the couch reading the newspaper when Kate got back from a morning run. She came in the back door, showered, and then joined Juliet in the living room. She straddled Juliet's lap, "Good morning." Juliet peered over the paper, "Hi." she said nonchalantly but with a smile - then went back to reading. Kate pushed the newspaper down - then Juliet playfully tossed it aside and pulled Kate into an embrace. They spent a lot of their time just being together - enjoying the simple, straightforward, every day life - that the island rarely allowed for. They went to movies, out to lunch with friends, babysat Julian, ect. and so on. It was all so - perfect - that sometimes in quiet moments they both had visions of it all falling apart. Juliet occasionally sensed that the restlessness in Kate hadn't completely dissipated. "If I could take some vacation time - would you want to go somewhere?" Kate was surprised. Juliet rarely took time off. Kate pulled back, "Sure. I'll go where ever you want to go." Her tone was slightly smirky. Juliet playfully squinted her eyes, "Nebraska it is then." Kate laughed, "You're getting boring in your old age."
The First I Love You
Juliet met Kate at a bar and grill on the edge of downtown during Juliet's lunch break. She couldn't get work off her mind. Kate could tell she wasn't really paying attention - but the combination of her slightly unruly hair and general dishevel was somehow charming. Juliet ate quickly, glanced at her watch more than occasionally. "You can go if you need to. I can wait for the check." Kate offered. Juliet appeared to consider the option for a second - then reached toward Kate to take her hand and knocked over her soda. "Shit. I have a meeting in 40 minutes." She frantically tried to clean it off her shirt with a napkin. Kate hadn't seen her this irritated in a long time. Kate stood up, "Follow me." She led Juliet into the restroom. Kate locked the door and then started tugging up on Juliet's shirt, "Whoa." Juliet pushed her hands down and gave her a death glare. Kate sighed, took off her own shirt, and handed it to Juliet. Juliet shook her head in disbelief that she didn't immediately realize what Kate was doing, "Thanks" she whispered. After they were clothed again Juliet inspected herself in the mirror. Kate was in the reflection, leaning up against a support beam - arms crossed, gently smiling. They caught each others eyes. It was one of those moments when time freezes - as if time itself desires to give you a gift of truly being in a moment by briefly extending it. It was still strange to Juliet to have time on her side after so many years of it dragging on, dragging her down. She went from mostly frowning to smiling. She turned around to face Kate, "I love you." They had both been wondering for a while who would be the first to say it. Kate thought about saying something snarky back, as they had a habit of doing - but instead she approached Juliet, kissed her like she meant it, and told the truth, "I love you too."
The 'Toy' Store
They talked about trying a strap-on for a while before finally agreeing to at least take a look at some at the sex shop around the corner from the gay bar they went to from time to time. Juliet shook her head, "I don't think I want anything purple and sparkly anywhere near my vagina." Kate laughed, "Me either." She pointed out a more realistic option and asked, "Think that's a good size?" She watched Juliet contemplate the question. Kate was getting a kick out of how out of place Juliet seemed to be. She was surprised when Juliet turned to her and smirked, "Too small." Kate turned back to the display, scanned over it again and then picked out another option. Juliet shook her head again, "Too soft." Kate raised her eyebrows and teased, "Ok, Goldilocks. You choose."
"The" Question
Kate could tell that Juliet wanted to ask her something by the way her eyes were searching around the backyard, how she took an occasional deep breath, picked at her fingernails. She put her hand on Juliet's knee - locked eyes with her, "You can ask me anything Juliet. Really." Juliet half smiled. "I can't ask you this." Kate didn't push her. Juliet couldn't ask the question because it was unfair - and had only recently accepted that she was afraid of the answer. Kate was fairly certain she knew the question Juliet was thinking of - she had asked herself many times. Mostly in the mornings - while Juliet was getting ready for work - and Kate was left alone in bed. ((If Jack was here, if he had survived - would I be with him, instead of Juliet?)). The second trip to the island peeled away the layers of doubt that had built up due to Jack's addictions - and revealed the man that she fell in love with - that she still loved. Juliet was barely a friend then. It all made Kate feel like she had lived multiple lifetimes. She suddenly realized how weighted the question must feel to Juliet - then couldn't help but wonder if their circumstance was different - had Jack and Juliet made it off the island without her, would they be together? She quickly let the thought go. Maybe they would be together, but what would it matter - as long as they were both happy? In the end that's all Kate would want for anyone she - loved.
They had to talk about Jack eventually though - and the silence was becoming uncomfortable, so Kate asked, "Is it about Jack?" Juliet's eyes widened. She looked away - then looked back at Kate, nodded, and said softly, "We both know that if he was here, we ... us... - we wouldn't be together." She briefly looked at the ground, then at Kate again. Her eyes were glossy. Kate leaned forward, almost replied - and then sat back. Juliet closed her eyes - then opened them, "We don't have to talk about this. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have..." Kate interrupted her, "It's ok." She put her hand back on Juliet's knee, "If Jack was still alive, I probably would be with him. But then you and I, we might not even be friends, let alone ... " she started to smile to herself - then continued with a straight face, "... I just met him first, and I loved him first - it's just circumstance. That doesn't mean you're second." Juliet took a deep breath, put her hand on top of Kate's - she wanted to say a million things, but nothing surfaced. Kate laced their fingers together, "I still love Jack, but I'm in love with you."
Juliet realized it was in her nature to be skeptical of relationships. Both Edmund and Goodwin took advantage of her loyalty - their friendship. Even Jack, although he had good intentions, was never fully present with her. She needed to hear Kate say - exactly what she just said, to let the doubt fizzle - and give their connection a blank slate. She lifted Kate's hand up, gently kissed the top of it and confessed, "I needed to hear that." She gave Kate a shy smile - Kate returned it. Kate stood, then straddled Juliet, sat down on her lap. They looked at each other for a minute. The more seconds that passed, the bigger their smiles became. Kate tucked Juliet's hair behind her ears, "You really can ask me anything. I want us both to be able to be honest." Juliet nodded, "Well - then, I honestly think we need more alcohol. I do anyway." Kate gave her a playful glare, then leaned forward and kissed her. She meant it to just be a peck, but the electric sensation of their lips touching caused Kate to linger, caused Juliet to deepen it. And then there was nothing else but that moment - fingers running through the others hair, melting into each other.
Beyond Moving On: Continued
A year later they were helping Rachel decorate her backyard for Julian's 8th birthday party. Later when the party was in full swing Kate was chatting with the mom of one of the kids - but was also watching Juliet across the yard out of the corner of her eye. The kids kept dragging her around, but she was going willingly - laughing, clearly fitting right in. She would occasionally catch eyes with Kate and smile. God she looks happy, Kate thought. After the party was over and Julian was asleep, they had a glass of wine with Rachel on the patio. "So when are you guys having kids?" Rachel asked. Juliet widen her eyes, "Wow, you just threw that right out there." Juliet knew it was a sensitive subject for Kate after what happened with Aaron - so she had never brought it up - figuring Kate might bring it up when she was ready. Kate leaned forward, put her hand on Juliet's leg to break the unnecessary tension. "I would love to be a mother again ... " She smiled, sat back, "... as long as Logan isn't the sperm donor." They all laughed. God she looks happy, Juliet thought.
Commitment
It was a Sunday morning. Kate and Juliet offered to watch Julian so Rachel could run errands. They were all still in their pajamas - watching cartoons in the living room. Julian usually had a hard time staying focused on any one thing - so after it became obvious he was bored Kate went and got art supplies and set them out on the coffee table. He liked it for someone to draw outlines of things so he could color them in. Juliet was a decent drawer so Kate indefinitely gave her the reigns. She could barely draw stick figures and whenever she tried even Julian lovingly poked fun at her. Juliet found one of her attempts so adorable she put it on the refrigerator. Rachel mistook it for one of Julian's and asked if she could take it home. Kate didn't mind just watching. She marveled at how much Julian looked like Juliet - at how natural it was for Juliet to interact with kids in general. It made her mind wander to a possible future of being a mom again - of being a mom with Juliet. They were openly committed to each other - but both decided that one marriage ceremony in a lifetime was enough. Kate occasionally sensed that Juliet might have had to convince herself of that - that maybe she secretly wanted ... something. Kate glanced at Juliet's hands and had an idea. She picked up a marker and said softly, "Can I have your left hand?" Juliet gave her a 'Huh?' look and then moved her hand over in front of Kate while continuing to draw. Kate drew a band on her ring finger. Juliet smiled. She finished her drawing, gave it to Julian - and then drew a band on Kate's ring finger. Julian noticed, "Cool! Can I draw on my fingers?" he asked excitedly. He could tell they weren't paying attention to him - so he shrugged and started drawing anyway. Kate took Juliet's hand again, "We can get real ones if you want." Juliet gently shook her head and teased, "I never really considered myself a tattoo person."
Moody
They frequently got hit on. A blond, a brunette, both stunningly beautiful - caught many eyes, especially when they were out drinking and found it difficult to keep their hands to themselves. It just seemed so comfortable - to stand so close to each other while ordering at the bar, so easy to slip a hand in the others back pocket - to rest a hand on the others knee. They were far beyond the wildest dream of only Jack. They usually ended their bar going evenings at the gay bar that had knocked over the first domino toward their more than friends relationship. They could relax there, be themselves - be less of an unintentional show. Before Juliet stepped outside onto the back deck to take a call from work Kate asked her, "What do you want to drink? Wine?" Juliet shook her head, "No, I'm in a beer mood."
Kate worked her way to the bar and attempted to wave down the bartender who seemed to be overwhelmed with customers. A woman with long black hair approached the bar, stood next to Kate. Kate glanced at her and happened to catch eyes so she said, "Hi." The woman smiled, "Hello." Her voice was whispery - she was gorgeous. Kate continued to try and order drinks - out of the corner of her eye she could tell the woman was watching her. She tapped Kate on the shoulder, "What would you like to drink?" Kate shyly smiled at her, then glanced out the back window - Juliet gave her a quick wave. "No thank you. I'm here with someone." The woman laughed, "The blond ... I know - I noticed you two earlier. The bartender is my roommate. If you ever want your drinks - I'm happy to get his attention." Kate shook her head, "I'm sorry, I thought ... two beers would be great. Thank you." The woman smirked at her and then called out the bartender's name - he came over right away and Kate had two beers in her hands a couple minutes later. Kate turned to her before heading back to the table, "Thanks again."
"Who's your friend?" Juliet asked as she sat back down. Kate raised an eyebrow and said with a smile, "She's the reason we have drinks now and not forever from now. Her friend is the bartender." Juliet grabbed a glass, took a drink. She looked toward the bar - then back at Kate and nodded over her shoulder, "She's pretty." Kate responded nonchalantly, "Yeah, well, I'm in a blond mood, so - I didn't really notice her." Juliet laughed, then leaned over, slid her hand up Kate's thigh under the table, "Any chance you're also in another kind of mood?" Kate closed her eyes for a second, opened them - then whispered, "You are the horniest person, ever." Juliet raised an eyebrow and smirked, "Your fault." The next workday Juliet opened the lunch Kate had packed for her and found a note attached to a little box. The note said: "My guess is purple." Juliet smiled. She immediately knew what was in the box - a mood ring. Juliet put it on, waited for it to change color - and then called Kate, "You guessed wrong ... it's blue." Kate smiled. She knew what it meant but asked anyway, "What does blue mean?" Juliet took a deep breath - traced the stone with her finger, "It means happy."
Beyond Moving On: Continued
Two years later they were watching a movie in bed - well, not watching a movie in bed. They still found each other significantly more entertaining. Juliet was purposefully, continually, kissing Kate's collarbone - and it had moved beyond a turn on - on to hilarious and both of them starting laughing. Once they realized how loud they were - it was already too late. They heard a faint knock on the door. "Mommy?" They both froze, then frantically tried to make it appear that they hadn't been doing what they were just doing. "You can come in Maddie." Juliet called out. They had decided to adopt after they went through all the possibilities of becoming mothers, following many conversations about where their relationship was going. They were eating lunch at their picnic spot near the beach when Kate gave Juliet one of her playful, mostly adorable looks and said, "I could do this ... " she motioned back and forth between them, "... forever. You know, if you're interested." Juliet finished swallowing, then smiled and teased, "If I knew we were only going to eat one thing forever ... I wouldn't have picked hotdogs."
One Is Enough
After they finished eating ... they were both laying on their backs, looking at the clouds. Juliet was using Kate's stomach as a pillow - Kate was running her fingers through Juliet's hair. Though Juliet had been quick to teasingly respond to Kate's inquiry - she knew it was a topic that both her and Kate didn't take lightly at all - considering they had already taken the step to assess that they didn't want to see other people. Juliet was self-admittedly distracted by the feel of Kate's fingers in her hair - I could get lost in that feeling, she thought - but she successfully focused long enough to give Kate a sincere response, "I'm interested in forever." Kate smiled one of her enigmatically charming smiles that could make the entire population of the park fall in love with her without knowing why. She was in love - deeply committed to her feelings for a previous enemy, turned ally, turned best friend, turned lover. The spectrum that their relationship had twirled and twisted through amplified that love so intensely that it seemed impossible for any connection with anyone else to ever be louder - to ever come between them. Kate quieted her serious, emotional side in lieu of an already serious subject, "You're going have to get a sex change. Florida doesn't allow same-sex marriage." Juliet closed her eyes, took a deep breath - wondered how it was somehow the year it was and human beings still hadn't figured out how to love and accept the infinite versions of each other. "Why would you assume that I would get the sex change?" she playfully asked. Kate laughed, "Because you wear the pants." Juliet scrunched her nose, turned over onto her side so she could see Kate's face, "Are you suggesting this isn't an equal partnership?" Kate shook her head, "It's extremely equal - but you can't deny that you're on top eight out of ten times. I'm not complaining." Juliet raised an eyebrow, "You certainly weren't this morning." She tried to keep a straight face but a smirky smile was tugging on the corners of her mouth. Kate's attention was drawn to her lips - then her mind shot straight into flashbacks of their morning adventure.
Juliet had been coaxed into a teasing mode. It started with Juliet mindlessly rubbing over Kate's nipples through her t-shirt as they had sleepy conversation about what they might fill their day with. Juliet still had her eyes closed and didn't realize the effect she was having on Kate. Kate could have easily asked her to stop or just brushed her hand away - but the more Juliet unintentionally teased her, the more she became turned on by the prospect of being out of control of the situation. When Kate's breathing became heavier and she was unable to stop a moan from escaping - Juliet opened her eyes. Kate was flushed - her eyes were hazy, she even looked slightly guilty. It turned Juliet on. Juliet squeezed her nipple harder than she normally did and watched Kate's face as it tensed in reaction to the sudden pain. Kate opened her eyes and looked at Juliet - then gave her a reassuring half smile that clearly said ... please continue. Juliet leaned over and licked Kate's nipple through the fabric - then swirled her tongue around it. Kate attempted to lift her shirt up so she could feel Juliet's tongue on her bare skin - but Juliet pushed her hands away, then straddled her with her knees and sat down on her hips. "I don't think so," Juliet said in an assertive, raspy voice, "you have no say in this." Kate smiled, "You read my ..." Juliet leaned down and silenced her with a kiss. Kate reached behind Juliet's head to deepen it but Juliet pulled back. "No touching." she smirked as she took Kate's hands and pinned them above her head ...
Kate briefly closed her eyes and found Juliet still gazing at her when she opened them. Kate smiled. Could those eyes be any more blue? Could she be any more beautiful?" We could get married in another state." Kate offered. Juliet rolled back onto her back and didn't immediately respond. She was picturing what their wedding might be like. Would they both wear dresses? Would it be in a church? Who would come? She thought about Edmund, their marriage - their divorce. She scooted next to Kate, "What if we didn't get married?" she thought out loud, "If we both know we're forever, then isn't that enough?" Kate was momentarily relieved, then inquired, "Are you asking me or yourself?" Good question, Juliet thought. Her first trip down the aisle seemed not only like a lifetime ago, but incomplete - a fantasy of happily ever after, not realized. She had been one of those little girls who dreamed of her wedding day, who played "bride/groom" with her female friends. But the fantasy was long gone - the hope of happily ever after permanently separated from the traditional wedding hoopla. "I think one trip down the aisle is enough for me," Juliet admitted, "... but if you want a wedding, let's do it." Kate turned on her side and propped herself up, "I'm not really a fan of wearing white, especially not again." Juliet turned her head to look at her, "We could still get married." Kate nodded, "We could - or like you said, we could just both know we're forever." Juliet smiled, then rolled on her side and mimicked Kate's position. Their lips were daringly close. Juliet teased, "But if we get married ... then we get to have a honeymoon." Kate laughed, then gave Juliet a quick peck and whispered, "I'm pretty sure we're already on our honeymoon." Juliet jumped up and held her hand out, "You're right. Better get back to bed."
Because of an Island
Kate had tried to not fall asleep but sometime after three in the morning, when she only meant to briefly rest her eyes, she dozed off. Drinking most of a bottle of wine might have had something to do with it. Juliet had spent the past four days at a conference in Boston and her late evening flight home had been delayed – later and then later – and when the taxi finally pulled up to the house the sun was thinking about rising. Juliet had spent her downtime in-between meetings mostly thinking about Kate. She called her from her hotel room after she arrived. Kate was in the bathroom, getting ready for bed. "You make it ok?" She asked. Juliet smiled at the sound of Kate's voice. "Yeah. What are you up to?" Kate turned on the bath water. "Getting ready to take a bath." Juliet sat down on the bed, "Are you naked?" Kate laughed. "Sorry. Fully clothed." Juliet laid down on her back and sighed, "Is it crazy that I already miss you?" Kate shook her head and teased, "I'll let you off the hook on the crazy thing – only because I'm exceptionally miss-able."
Kate called Juliet the following evening. "It's weird – sleeping alone." Kate admitted. Juliet agreed and added, "It's really weird waking up alone."
Juliet called Kate on her lunch break the following afternoon. "How's the weather there? Boston is chilly." Kate stepped outside, looked at the cloudless sky, "It's beautiful – almost as beautiful as you."
Kate called Juliet from the liquor store - Juliet was at the airport. "Want anything special for tonight?" Juliet thought for a second, "How about a bottle of wine and a commitment of at least four days of continual sex?" Kate laughed, "I believe I've already committed to a lifetime of sex – and because it's with you, the continual goes unspoken."
Juliet found Kate asleep on the couch. She took a second to admire the scene – the mostly empty bottle of wine, the cell phone on the coffee table, the empty take-out box, the late night infomercial background noise – and Kate in the middle of all of it. She used to be weary of waking Kate after she tried it once when Kate first arrived in Miami and almost got punched in the face. It was easy for Juliet to understand how years of always looking over your shoulder could make anyone a little jumpy. But time had passed and Kate hadn't done any sleepy punching in a long time – so Juliet sat down on the couch and woke her with a quick kiss. Kate opened her eyes, wiped them – smiled when Juliet came into focus. "Hi." Kate whispered as she sat up. "Hi." Juliet whispered back with a smile as she pulled Kate into an embrace. They held each other in silence for a minute – then Juliet pulled back, brushed Kate's hair away from her face and kissed her – really kissed her, then kept kissing. They kissed so long that eventually it became funny – and they the more they tried to keep kissing while laughing, the more they laughed instead of kissed. "I think I missed you more than I missed chocolate on the island." Kate joked. Juliet put her hands on Kate's shoulders and said sarcastically, "That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." Kate smiled and yawned, "You must be rubbing off on me." Juliet smirked, then raised her eyebrows while trying to keep a straight face. Kate playfully rolled her eyes when she realized what she said could easily be twisted into being sexual, "Did you always have such a dirty mind?" Juliet stood, pulled Kate up, "Nope. I think I'm making up for lost time."
Kate got into bed, laid on her back – and pulled Juliet down on top of her. Juliet tucked her arms under Kate's shoulders, stretched her legs out. "You feel – so – good." Kate said softly as she ran her hands underneath the back of Juliet's shirt. Juliet turned her head to the side, kissed Kate's neck. "You taste …" she kissed her neck again, "so …" she kissed her collarbone, "… good." Kate closed her eyes, "Mmm." She couldn't stop herself from thinking about how empty Juliet's absence had made her feel. It was a similar feeling to when she had gone back to Los Angeles after the Logan fiasco – like she had a missing piece and everything was slightly askew because of it. Juliet pushed herself up on her forearms and couldn't stop herself from yawning. She couldn't tell if Kate had a contemplative or just sleepy look on her face, "You ready to sleep?" she asked. Kate gave her a sleepy smile and nodded. "You ok?" Juliet wondered. Kate was silent for a second - then leaned up and gave Juliet a quick kiss, "I love you." Juliet leaned down and gave Kate a quick kiss, "I love you too." - then she rolled off Kate onto her side. Kate rolled over and faced her. Kate smiled and then began, "I know we've all ready committed to each other," Juliet interrupted and playfully reminded her, "For life." Kate smiled, "… that we're already committed for life. But it's more than that Juliet. Locke and Jack used to say there was a reason why we were brought to the island. I thought mine was to be with Jack, to raise Aaron but I was wrong. After all of it – after everyone that didn't make it, after all we know about the significance of what they died for – here we are, alive to remember it. You and I - together. Because of an island. I have no doubt that I was there to meet you, to fall in love with you." It took a minute for Juliet to process what Kate said. It was clear when she did because her eyes became glossy and at the same time - she smiled. "I take back what I said earlier. That – was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me." Juliet whispered. Kate smiled and continued, "There were a lot of times when I didn't think I would ever really be happy – even when I thought I was happy. I felt out of place." Juliet took Kate's hand and laced their fingers together. "But now, I only feel out of place when I'm not with you."
Juliet took a deep breath and then leaned over to start what turned into the most passionate sex they'd ever had – and they'd certainly had a lot of sex. They quickly fell asleep afterwards. Kate woke up in the early afternoon and spent a good ten minutes watching Juliet sleep. Eventually she rolled onto her side away from Juliet and then lifted Juliet's arm up and over her – so that Juliet was unknowingly spooning her. She fell back asleep and woke to Juliet nuzzling her neck. "Good morning." Juliet whispered near Kate's ear. Kate smiled, looked at the clock. "Good afternoon, actually." Juliet pushed Kate's hair aside and kissed her neck, "Doesn't matter. The good part is you." Juliet trailed her fingers between Kate's breasts, then further down. Kate grabbed her hand, "We're never going to get up if you go any further." Juliet smiled, "That's the plan." Kate turned over, pushed Juliet on her back, then straddled her and sat down on her hips. Juliet raised an eyebrow, "Do you think crawling on me naked is going to get us out of bed any sooner?" Kate tried to think of a witty comeback but was distracted by Juliet's breasts. Juliet caught her staring and teased, "You can touch them you know – I guess, if you want to." Kate laughed. "Oh I definitely want to touch them but I'm also starving. Want to go to lunch?" Juliet ran her hands up Kate's thighs, "Like a date?" Kate looked at her hands then gave her a playful glare, "Exactly like a date where you go out first …" she put her hands on top of Juliet's "… and then touch later." Juliet pretended to contemplate the offer then said, "Date accepted. But we should probably shower before we go. Together." She then gave Kate one of the most adorable looks she'd ever given her - then took Kate's hands and put them on her breasts. Kate shook her head. "How does this always happen?" she wondered out loud as she couldn't stop herself from running her fingers over Juliet's nipples. Juliet arched her back and moaned. When Kate's stomach growled she was snapped back to reality. She jumped up before Juliet knew what happened and started putting her clothes on. Juliet rolled on her side and propped her head up with her palm and smirked, "Maybe if you stopped being the love of my life – I wouldn't want you all the time." Kate playfully threw Juliet's jeans at her and smiled, "Maybe you just need to masturbate more."
Merry Christmas, Indeed
Rachel's living room was still wonderfully chaotic in the aftermath of Christmas morning. Kate and Juliet were cuddling on the couch - in a blissful haze of Christmas cheer, watching Julian and Madison run around the house playing with their new toys. They ran through the living room on their way into the kitchen to devour more Christmas sweets - and caught Juliet and Kate kissing. Julian dramatically rolled his eyes and asked Madison, "Do they do that at your house too?" She giggled and nodded. "Gross!" he yelled over his shoulder as they entered the kitchen. Rachel had been busy in the kitchen making lunch - and spiking the eggnog. She came into the living room, handed them each a glass, then raised her own, "To family ... and Captain Morgan." They all laughed. "Lunch is ready when you are." Rachel said and then went back into the kitchen. Juliet stood up, held her hand out for Kate, "Do you want your present before or after we eat?" she eagerly asked. Kate raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were my present." she teased as she took Juliet's hand and stood. "I meant your other present." Juliet teased back. "How about we save it for tonight, after Madison is asleep?" Kate suggested in a whisper as they joined everyone else in the kitchen. Juliet winked at her. Madison was exhausted after dinner and actually asked to go to bed. After they tucked her in and said goodnight - they opened a bottle of wine and relaxed on their bed. "I haven't enjoyed Christmas like that since I was a kid." Kate said. Juliet agreed, "Me either." She smiled - rested her hand on Kate's thigh. They continued to drink, talk about the day - watched part of 'A Christmas Story' for the millionth time. After the bottle was gone it was inevitable that they wouldn't be able to keep their hands off each other. Something about wine made them both horny. They had an inside joke about ulterior motives whenever one of them would ask the other if they wanted some. It wasn't long before clothes were being pulled off, moans were escaping their lips - their gift exchange forgotten. A merry Christmas, indeed.
Beyond Moving On: Continued
Five years later Juliet came home from work on a Friday and found Kate in the kitchen, making dinner. Juliet approached her from the side, kissed her cheek, "Smells good." She sat her purse down on the table. "Is Madison in her room?" Juliet continued stirring, "Nope. She's at Rachel's until tomorrow afternoon." Juliet was surprised, "For what?" Kate put down the spatula, turned off the burner, turned toward Juliet, "Because I'm taking you on a date in the backyard. No kids allowed." Kate had started volunteering at night for their local community center and was often coming home when Juliet was going to bed. They hadn't had dinner together in a while. Juliet smiled, wrapped her arms around Kate's neck, "Did I ever tell you how hot you look in an apron?" After dinner - and more beers than they had had since before Madison - Kate was giving Juliet a back rub. It turned into a slightly drunken make out session, that became sex in the shower that moved to the bedroom, that became eating ice cream in their underwear while watching tv. Kate caught Juliet looking at her out of the corner of her eye, "Do I have ice cream on my face?" she wondered out loud. Juliet shook her head, then raised her eyebrows while setting down her bowl and spoon. Kate got the hint and playfully asked, "Really?" Juliet nodded. Kate scooted towards her, "Ok - but this time I get to be on top."
Ten years later Madison asked if she could drive to Ft. Lauderdale to visit Julian at college over a weekend. They let her go after she promised to be back in the early evening on Sunday. She was a great kid, laid-back, responsible - and trustworthy. They watched her drive away from the front porch - each with an arm around the others waist. The evening was cool, electric - filled with a chorus of bugs and the slightest hint of crashing waves in the distance. Kate seemed unusually melancholy. She tilted her head back and looked at the stars. "She'll be fine." Juliet assured her. Kate continued to look up, "I know." She watched a plane fly past, then dropped her head back down, gave Juliet a half smile. Juliet took her hand, "You ok?" Kate nodded, "I was just thinking about the island." Suddenly Juliet remembered what day it was. September 22nd. The island. Flight 815. Jack. It had been over ten years since everything had changed. Juliet pulled Kate into an embrace. "I still miss him. I miss all of them." Kate said softly - then she pulled back, cupped Juliet's face, "... and I am so, in love, with you."
Madison and Clementine both graduated from UCLA and left that evening for a month long backpacking trip across Thailand. After Kate, Juliet, and Cassidy dropped the girls off at LAX - they had dinner and drinks together at their hotel restaurant then said goodbye to Cassidy. Kate was sitting in a lounge chair on the balcony enjoying the mild California summer evening. The breeze. The palm trees. The LAX sign in the distance. She couldn't help but feel nostalgic. She began retracing the circumstance that lead her to be exactly where she was right then as she had many times. What if 815 wouldn't have crashed? She thought about Jack - about where she would be if he was still alive, but the thought faded into when she met Juliet and then on to when she fell in love with her. She smiled to herself. Juliet had been filling Rachel in on the events of the day over the phone, but was mostly looking out the sliding glass door - at Kate. She watched her stand then lean against the railing. The breeze picked up and tousled her hair. If it weren't for the gray strands - she could have been looking at Kate from fifteen years ago. Juliet smiled to herself. All of this - Rachel, Kate, Madison - was because of an island, the island. The more time that passed - the more the memory of it became hazy and obscure, the heartache caused by it - overshadowed by happiness. They had both moved beyond it - and had been moved by each other.
Madison hadn't returned to Miami in a few years. She had free time in between her last business meeting and her flight back to Los Angeles - so she took a taxi to Miami Beach. She was overwhelmed with a myriad of memories. She had spent many wonderful days of her childhood with her Mom's there - walking the boardwalk, building sandcastles, having picnics at their favorite spot on the hill. She took her shoes off and walked the shore - watched the sun begin to sink into the same ocean that housed the ashes of both Kate and Juliet. She envisioned them walking beside her, holding hands - smiling. They always seemed to be smiling - like they knew something nobody else seemed to know. When she grew older she realized it was because they were in love. She kept walking until the sun disappeared completely but hesitated to leave. A part of her wanted to stay there forever - live inside her vision, never have to know life without Kate and Juliet. A bigger part of her had already made peace with reality. As she took a last look at the water through the back window of the taxi - she felt grateful. Her Mom's had both lived long lives, long enough to meet their grandchildren - long enough to instill hope in the possibility of finding happiness, that no matter how lost you become - you can be found again.