Disclaimer: I do not own SNK or any of the characters in this story.
Even I couldn't believe it at first, no one could. But once it sunk in, the streets of Wall Sina, Wall Rose, and Wall Maria came to life with joy and freedom. The titans were all gone, nothing else was keeping anyone from leaving the walls and venturing outside. Not even Jean Kirschtein. But of course, I couldn't leave without saying goodbye to my friends.
I loved it, the fame, the parties, the power that came with being part of the squad that fought the last battle, but I needed a break. A breather from it all, so I decided to pack my bags and travel for as long as I can without coming back. Of course, I'd eventually come back. These walls are home after all.
I walked around town until I found everyone I wanted to say goodbye to.
Unsurprisingly, I found the Shiganshina Trio at the gates of wall Maria. They were about to leave, travel, go to the sea and everything Armin had been talking about.
"Hey Jean! To what do we owe the pleasure?" Armin asked smiling. I was a bit taken aback with the boy's new haircut. He looked like Commander Erwin now more than ever, and Annie was right beside him. I knew something was going on, but damn was it obvious now.
"I just wanted to say goodbye, but since you're leaving too, I guess we'll be seeing each other outside anyway." I answered, pocketing my hands.
"You plan on traveling too Jean? I never pegged you for the adventurous type," Armin joked.
"Honestly, I never did too, but I kinda promised someone I would," I tell him. Armin just smiled and nodded, understanding my reason.
"Hey Annie. You're coming with them, huh?" I inquired carefully. The girl just nodded at me, probably still not that used to being outside of her crystal. I even remember pounding at the damn thing. "Where are Eren and Mikasa?" I gaze back at Armin.
"They're at the tree in the huge field filled with flowers. You know, the one where all the survey corps were buried in." Armin responded solemnly.
"Oh, okay then, thanks, see you outside the walls." I smiled at him and Annie one more time before leaving.
The field of heroes huh? As we liked calling it. The last battle took more blood, sweat, and tears than any other battle had ever cost us. So much that 60% of the survey corps had perished. Granted, the military police with their unicorn emblem didn't even freakin help them. Granted, the Garrison Corps were too busy keeping the walls safe at all sides. But we still won though. We won.
Now, Historia was the Queen, and all the Titan shifters who helped them were kept safe under her authority.
During the preparations, we'd all agreed that some of the shifters might turn on us, but without them, succeeding would be next to impossible. So we just had to suck it up and put our faith in them. On the way there, we passed the forest of giant trees, Levi-heichou and Eren even brought flowers for the special ops squad.
After that, we ventured outside wall maria and into the titan's territory. They were waiting for us, oh hell, if the MPs saw that, they would have wet themselves. It was half open field and half trees. The terrain was fair, the size, not so much.
I still remember her holding my hand before the fight. "Let's do this Jean! Then we can eat as much meat as we want when we come back! Yipee! So don't die on me, okay Jean?" She squeezed my hand and smiled at me with the sweetest smile I've ever seen her do. "Okay Sasha, okay." I squeezed her hand back and slowly close the gap between us.
I wish we were stuck in that moment forever. It was perfect. Her smile was perfect. Her lips were perfect. Her scent was perfect. Her hand was perfect. She was perfect. But not everyone got a happily ever after.
During the fight, I lost sight of her over the flying horses and the splashes of blood and the blinding smoke. She's fine, I kept telling myself. We were both in the top 10 of our squad, she's more than capable of handling herself. I just had to stay alive until we reunite again and go home so I can kiss her again. That got me all fired up. I started hacking away like nobody's business. It took a whole 2 days, but it felt like years for me.
The moment I saw Eren bring down the ape titan with the help of Captain Levi and Mikasa, I knew it was over. We were free. The wings of liberty brought it home. I looked for Sasha moments before the ape fell down with its nape being cut by Mikasa and the captain on either side and Eren squeezing it's head.
Where the hell is she! I was frantic. She couldn't have been eaten. No way in hell! "SASHA! WHERE ARE YOU?" I screamed. I screamed at the top of my lungs. I screamed like there was no tomorrow until I felt a hand on mu shoulder.
"Jean, Sasha asked me to get you, she's over there, by the trees." Connie gestured to somewhere near Eren's Titan.
I ran as fast as I could, I leaped over the bodies and the blood and kept going. Where was she? I tripped on a body and fell face first to the ground, I cursed as I got up until someone called my name.
"Jean," said a soft, melodic voice.
"Sasha!" I whip my head around and see her propped up against the tree, smiling with her crimson dyed face.
"Sash, you're gonna be alright. I promise. The medics will fix you up, hell I'll be the one to fix you up if I have to." I said frantically as I held her body against mine.
"You're not a medic Jean, you can't possibly treat me. But it's the thought that counts, isn't it?" She laughed teasingly at, me which only caused her to cough out more blood.
"Shh. Enough talking for now potato girl, I can't have you lose all your blood trying to joke around." I cradle her closer to my body and kiss her forehead. She place her hand on my cheek and gently caressed it. "I love you so much Sasha, don't give up on me. I can't lose you like this. I can't lose you, period. We still have to eat lots and lots of meat. We still need to go home. I promised you we would and I don't plan on going back on that promise. Don't you dare die!" I cried like my life depended on it; it really did. I hugged her tighter and buried my face in the crook of her neck. "I can't lose you Sasha, this is the final lap. We've already won. I can't lose you." I said to myself more than to her.
"Jean? Jean, I need you to take a message for my father, okay?" She gripped my hand.
"No you can give to him yourself! You're getting out of this mess alive! MEDIC! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU! DAMN IT HURR-"
"Jean, I need you to tell my dad that I love him, okay? Tell him that I hope he's proud of his daughter for fighting for humanity's freedom. Alright Jean? Please?" There were tear edging their way out of her eyes.
"No, please don't leave me damn it! Come on Potato Girl! When we get home I'll introduce you to my mom. You're gonna love her. I just know you will, with all the food she'll cook just for you, you'll get along just fine. Then once we get settled in, we'll get married and have lots of little Sashas and Jeans. And I'll cook for you everyday! Just... just be my wife everyday! Don't you dare give up on me Sasha Braus." I rocked us back and forth. Other people were beginning to gather around us but I didn't give a damn.
"Hmm. I'd really like that Jean. I can't even put into words how grateful I am for having you in my life." She chuckled before facing me and continuing "I'm sorry I couldn't keep my part of the promise... Hey Jean, Marco says Hi, and that we need to go. He says Heaven is a great place and I can watch you from up there for as long as I'd like with Petra-san and the others. He says there's lots of food too!" She giggled. "Marco also says that if you kill yourself you won't go to heaven. So don't be in such a hurry to follow me, okay? Venture outside the walls for me when all of this blows over. Never forget that I really am in love with you Jean Kirschtein," she looked into my eyes. "I really am."
She stopped my crying with a kiss. I savored it, because whether or not I liked it, that would be the last time we ever kiss. Who the hell was I kidding, that was her last message. I felt it. All her joy and love wrapping around me in one last passionate and desperate kiss. She squeezed my hand one last time and I felt her smile as we kissed, and I smiled right back into her.
"I love you too, Sasha Braus."
I felt her body go limp in my arms. Her hands fall to her sides and her lips fell away from mine.
"Sash? Sash?" She didn't reply. I buried my face into her hair and cried. Cried like there's no tomorrow. Because there isn't. Because ever since I realized that I was in love with this potato girl, she became my tomorrow. But the titans, the titans took that away from me. The only person on earth I loved more than I loved myself.
I laid her down on the grass and pushed her hair out of her face. She looked so peaceful, so much like those times when I'd wake up in bed and see her smiling in her sleep. I wish she was just that, asleep. But she wasn't. I knew she wasn't. A sudden rage came over me and I turned around and saw the Ape's carcass still intact. I ran at it as fast as my feet let me. I slashed it like I have never slashed in my life.
"YOU BASTARD!" I sliced its head off.
"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" I cut its body in half.
"WHAT DID WE EVER DO TO YOU TO DESERVE ALL THIS SHIT!" I severed its arms.
"YOU DESERVE TO DIE EVERY DEATH SO WAKE UP AND FIGHT ME DAMN IT!" I hacked at its legs.
"WAKE THE HELL UP!" I sliced up its feet.
"YOU TOOK THE AWAY THE ONLY PERSON WHO EVER ACCEPTED ME AS ME AND YOU'RE GONNA PAY!" I kept slashing. I didn't care where my blade cuts into. I launched my gear at every possible direction. I felt the blood rush to my head, the blood coat my whole body. The heat of the ape titan's cuts seep into mine. I hack away at it until my sword had nothing left to cut into. I kept blindly swinging my blades until I fell onto my knees and hands, crying like the baby I am. Because I know that no matter how much I cut, it won't bring Sasha back to me. That I've lost my potato girl forever.
I felt someone bring me into a hug. I don't stop them. I have no will left to do anything else but breathe. "Jean, I don't think Sasha would want you to live in anger for the rest of your life." It was Mikasa.
"I think so too." I told her. Then I black out.
From then on, when I'm not needed in the capital, I bring flowers to her grave. Every day. As long as I'm within these walls, I'll do this everyday. That's how much I love Sasha Braus.
A/N: Hi there! Thanks for reading! This is actually my first ever published fic, and I didn't have time to polish it until now. Sorry for all the errors before. Thanks again! God speed!