Title: My cliché love
Author: Miarae
Summary: Written for a contest at potterholic. Requirements: write a story turning Hogwarts characters into Mary-Sue's/Gary-Stue's and write the most cliché story get your OTP together.

No offence to anyone! This is just something written for fun and does not necessarily reflect my own views on fanficcers.

Hermione, who had transformed over the summer and had apparently turned into a goth with skirts the size of belts, and who had also started to cut herself because her father had abused her ever since her mother died – who had of course been murdered by Voldemort because for some reason it had seemed like a good idea to start a psychological war with Hermione instead of figuring out how to kill Harry–, walked onto Platform 9¾. Dressed in a black miniskirt, which showed off her fabulous tanned legs, and a tanktop that hugged all her suddenly developed curves, she looked drop-dead gorgeous. And she knew it. Her brown hair, which was curly instead of bushy because no author could ever relate to an ugly girl –and we all know that thirteen-year-old girls read fanfiction because they are either fat and ugly or anorexic and ugly and generally have no life– cascaded over her shoulders like a waterfall. She looked around to see if her friends had already arrived. When she spotted Ron she smiled like a predator and walked their way. Ron, who had become almost as muscled as Arnold Schwarzenegger by playing Quidditch all summer, looked her way. She smiled brightly, but he didn't seem to recognize her. As she walked their way she heard Ron whispering to Harry:

"Mate, have you seen that chick? She's hot!"

"Ya man…I dig!"

said Harry, who for some reason had started to speak American slang, even though he was British. Hermione threw her arms around them.

"Omg guys I've missed u so much!!!1!"

"Uhhh...who are you?" said Ron, ever the stupid sidekick.

"Omg Ron! Thatz hilarious! It's me, 'Mione!"

"'Mione? Wow! You're so hot!"

"Yea, I know!"

Hermione giggled and pushed her wavy hair out of her face. Ron looked at her with little hearts in his eyes and a face that matched his Weasley hair. Just as he was about to proclaim his love for her, Hermione saw Draco. Being the selfproclaimed slut that she was, she sauntered over to him and immediately kissed him. Draco, with his silvery hair and amazing grey orbs that other people who aren't fanfiction writers would call eyes, put his muscled arms around her and kissed her back without wondering who he was kissing. After all, he was not the dedicated student J.K. Rowling made him out to be, but the Slytherin Sex God. After making out with Draco and getting slapped by Pansy, she returned to her friends.

Boarding the train, she flirted with Harry, making Ginny mad as hell, and with Ron, which angered Ginny even more. But as we all know Ginny is just jealous because Hermione is now getting more attention than she is, so we can just ignore her like Hermione did.

Ron, who was still staring at his suddenly hot best friend and was having very non-best-friend-feelings for her, was drooling a little. Hermione found this very hot and all of a sudden they were making out furiously in the carriage. Ginny and Harry followed the fine example they set and as the train was entering Hogsmeade both couples were engaged. Nine months later Hermione gave birth to red curly-haired twins, whom they called Jane and Bill; at the same time Ginny was giving birth to a dark-haired girl they called Lily.

Review please!