It never would of happened if the kid wasn't quite so fast. I watch him lying there, not knowing if
each breath will be his last. Then I turn to Pa and he is just sitting there tears streaming down his
cheeks murmuring prayers, that don't seem to be getting answered. And I think, yes, the kid was
definitely to fast for his own good...
************************************************
All of us were in town that Saturday afternoon to pick up supplies and relax a little. Pa was over at
Roy's office to chat and maybe play a game of checkers The three of us drew straws and Joe lost,
Hoss and I always could cheat him out of anything that way. He figured out a long time ago that
something about the way we draw straws was crooked but he never did figure out just what.
Oh please Joe, if you stay with us I promise I'll let you in on our brotherly secret.
So Joe went to load the supplies. Since I was the oldest I went to pick up the mail and Hoss went
to wait for me at the saloon. Joe would join us later after he finished with the supplies. Everything
was going so well I had just picked up the mail and had stopped to chat with a young lady whose
name i no longer remember. I remember seeing Hoss peeking out of the saloon to see what had
happened to me. I was about to make my excuses and join him when suddenly shouts filled the air.
A runaway wagon was barreling down the street. The shouts changed to screamed as people
realized there was a five year old kid in the middle of the street. I was to far away in fact so was
everyone else, it was hopeless and by all rights no one should have been able to reach the boy.
But that baby brother of mine saw the boy when he was loading supplies in the wagon in front of
the general store. I would have sworn the kid could never get to the petrified five year old, but he
tried and Joe had always been fast. It happened so fast, at first I don't even think I realized what it
was or who it was. But suddenly a blur was hurtling towards the boy and pushed him out of the
way charging wagon. Yes, my brother was fast. Joe was fast enough to save the boy, but not
fast enough to save himself. As the boy rolled out of danger propelled by my brother's push, the
horses stampeded over my brother's body, trampling him, and then the wagon wheels rolled over
him with a sickening thump. In the moments that followed as I ran towards the rescuer, I realized
that crumpled form belonged to my kid brother and it was his blood that was now soaking main
street. I think I yelled his name, or maybe I just heard Hoss's bellow as he sprinted behind me
from the entrance of the saloon where he had observed the whole thing. As I bent over my
brother's crushed body and felt for his pulse I instantly knew that there would be no recovery this
time. There was too much damage, too much blood, it would take an act of God to save my
brother this time. I felt a pulse. I yelled for someone to get the doctor. I sensed Hoss beside me
even as I began to instinctively tell Joe he'd better not leave me, the elder brother within me took
over, babbling that everything would be alright. Even though I knew nothing would ever be right
again. Suddenly my father was pushing me aside murmuring "Joe, No Joe, not you Joseph." It
became a mantra for my father, he murmured it over and over, as the Paul Martin came,we
carried the kid inside the operating room, and sat out in the waiting room. Only 30 minutes later
Paul stepped into the waiting room, and any hope that had invaded my logic died at that moment.
There was just no way he could have repaired that much damage in that little time. It could only
mean that Joe was beyond help. Pa and Hoss bounded out of their chairs.
Pa demanding "How is Joe? Will he be alright? Paul?"
"Ben why don't you sit down and ------"
"I'm not going to relax when my son has just been trampled!" my irate father interrupted. " How is Joe?"
"I'm sorry Ben. There's no easy way to tell you this, but there isn't anything I can do. There's just
to much damage, there's internal bleeding and he's all messed up inside, to many broken bones
to begin to count, and he's suffered a massive head wound. Some of it could have been treated
but there is simply to much damage inside. I cleaned him up and bandaged what's bleeding but I
just can't save Joe, Ben. I'm so very sorry."
"You mean he's dying? That my baby is going to die..." Ben's voice broke with pain. "Oh no please not Joe..."
"I'm sorry Ben, he's one brave boy. I'd operate if I thought I could save him, but all it would do is kill him on the operating table. Its already a miracle he's still alive, he should have been killed instantly. I'm afraid Ben, only God can save him now."
"My baby..."
"You can go see him now" Paul said sadly.
I walked over to Hoss, who had had tears streaming down his face ever since Paul had passed
sentence on Joe. I put an arm over his shoulders and slowly guided him to the inner room and
placed him in one of the chairs next to Joe's bed. Pa already occupied the other so I stood there,
silently wiping away the tears that threatened to spill over. I'd seen death all my life living out here
in the west, but nothing could prepare me for my brother dying. My eyes scanned over his broken
body observing the accursed trickle of blood running from his mouth that told of internal bleeding.
And so our silent vigil began. I can't help but feel guilty, Joe wouldn't have even been in the area if
Hoss and I hadn't cheated him. I can see Hoss feels the same way. By cheating in something so
trivial as picking up the supplies, we have sentenced our brother to death. But then again, had Joe
not been there that little boy would be dead. Neither of us would have been fast enough to save him.
Somehow it didn't see fair that fate would decree that one kid must die so one even younger might live. Yet it
was true, inescapable and undeniable. And so my musing continued as I watched my brother as his time ran
out...
Pa finally decided Joe would want to go home and so despite the protestations of Paul Martin we got him home
and in his own room. It was a miracle he had even survived the trip home.
*****************
And now as I sit by his bedside I know Joe is finally out of time. I can hear
his rattling breaths signifying the Grim Reaper is near. I watch my brother on his deathbed and I
wonder if our family will survive this loss. My father is still praying and Hoss is still murmuring to
Joe asking him to wake up. I wish Hoss would stop that. Joe is beyond waking up. Even as I think that Joe's eyelids began to flutter and then open. We all crowd around the bed as Joe's cloudy eyes look around him. His expression for a moment showed extreme pain and then he masked it. his face settling into a slight grimace.
"Son, your awake!" My pa exclaimed
"Hey, you did listen to ole Hoss now didn't you!" Hoss said with a grin
"Welcome back kid." I say softly.
"Hi Pa, Adam, Hoss." he murmured weakly
"You relax Joe everything is going to be fine now son." Pa says while he strokes Joe's curls.
"Yes Pa, everything will be alright, when I leave you'll see..."
Hoss's grin fades, it is the words of a dying man, trying to assure his family.
"Now don't talk like that young man, your not getting out of this bed for at least two months!" Pa said attempting to deny what was happening.
But Joe wouldn't have any of it, "Pa, no... No time, Pa...I can't stay..." his voice trailing off and for a moment his eyes close. For a moment we thought he had left us...then his eyes slowly opened clear and bright. His expression of pain was gone and the blood had stopped trickling from his mouth. He looked each one of us in the eye as he murmured,
"Pa, Adam, Hoss, I love you..."
and he smiled. Then slowly his eyes closed and the smile faded. Time stood still as he slowly exhaled and inhaled no more. Silently we all remain there tears streaming down our faces, Nothing would ever be alright again, for Joe is now gone...