A/N: Sooooo just a oneshot I wrote when I should've been focusing on my other stories. Anways, like I said, one shot, but if y'all want, I can make it into more. Enjoy!
"Daddy?"
Ezra's groaned slightly as his eyes slowly fluttered open. He sat up and smiled down at his five year old daughter "What is it sweetie?"
Her lower lip quivered as she threw her tiny arms around him. "I miss Mommy. When is she coming home?"
Ezra fought back the tears as he hugged his daughter tight, placing a comforting kiss on her head.
"Honey," He soothed. "Mommy can't come back. We've talked about this." He explained gently.
"But I miss her so much, Daddy. Please make her come back. Please make her come back from heaven."
His heart squeezed as his little girl sobbed in his arms. Aria's death had been hard on all of them. It had broken everything inside of him when he'd received the news that his wife was dead. It had been especially hard on Daisy, though. Aria to her was her entire world. Sure, she was a Daddy's girl, but Aria was her idol. Everything Mommy did, Daisy wanted to do too. Aria was Daisy's superhero.
"Do you want to stay here with me?" He asked his daughter.
She nodded against his chest, clutching his T-shirt even harder than she was before. "C-can I have some water?"
"Of course." He responded, laying her on the bed. "I'll be right back. Okay?"
"Okay, Daddy." She responded, her sobs turning into soft whimpers.
Ezra walked across the hallway, peeking into his three year old son's bedroom. He was sleeping peacefully. For the past month, getting his son to fall asleep was a struggle. So seeing him sleep, so soundly, gave Ezra great happiness.
Unlike Daisy, Scotty couldn't understand anything that had happened. He knew his Mom was gone, and would often start crying and asking for her, but he kept thinking she'd eventually come back. Ezra had explained that Mommy was in heaven now and wouldn't be coming back, but he refused to accept that. He insisted Aria would come back to him. He cried every night, asking for his Mommy to read him a bedtime story, asking for those 'mommy kissies' only Aria could give. Maybe it was because he was just three years old, and couldn't let go of his mother, but regardless, it broke Ezra to see his children hurting.
Lastly, he walked into their six month old daughter's nursery. Ellie was the only one of his children that wasn't experiencing this torturing pain they all were. Or maybe she was just in her own way. The infant would sometimes mutter the word 'mama', but Ellie was way too young to even notice that her mother was no longer around.
He placed a kiss on his daughter's forehead, as he pulled her blanket over her tiny body. "I love you so much, baby girl."
He closed the door slightly, before heading downstairs for Daisy's glass of water.
"Here you go, Daisy."
"What took you so long, Daddy?" She whimpered, the glass of water long forgotten. "I was getting scared."
He set the water down, and took his daughter in his arms. "Daise, I was just checking on Scotty and Ellie. I'm sorry."
"I don't want to lose you, too." She whimpered.
"You won't. I'm right here." He promised. "I'm right here. Now get some sleep, honey. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."
It wasn't long after when Daisy fell asleep in his arms. This wasn't something new. She'd been extremely clingy. She didn't want to go to kindergarten anymore. She'd cry when Ezra left. It had been worse at the beginning, but slowly, it was getting better.
He set her down on the bed, pulling the covers over them both. Tomorrow was the day of Aria's memorial. After a month of searching for her body without success, Ezra and her parents had decided it was time to give her a memorial, even if there was no body.
That's what killed him the most. The fact he hadn't been able to see her one last time, absolutely killed him.
"I miss you." He whispered and slowly, he too fell asleep.
"Daisy, please come down. Breakfast is almost ready." Ezra called as he flipped the last pancake onto a plate.
He took out the orange juice and syrup from the fridge, just as Daisy took a seat next to Scotty.
"Did Ellie eat already, Daddy?"
He nodded. "She did."
"Okay." She simply responded.
They all ate in silence. It wasn't unusual. Even if Ezra would try to start a conversation, they would only respond with one word answers. It was so hard for Ezra. Trying to console and help his grieving children when he was grieving even more himself. Taking care of all three, while still having to work, was so hard. He didn't like being a single father. He wanted his wife back. He wanted his family back. Aria was the light to their lives, and without her, they were living in an endless darkness. He needed her back.
"Are you almost done?" He asked them.
They both nodded, pushing their plates away.
"Alrighty then. I'm gonna get your brother and sister ready, okay? I left your dress on the chair by your bed."
"Okay, Daddy."
Ezra sighed as he took his baby in his arms and headed back upstairs, Scotty following behind him.
"I want to get dressed myself."
"Alright, buddy. Call me if you need any help."
Ezra put Ellie down on the changing table, grabbing a diaper as he did so.
"Hey there, baby. You made a stinky, didn't you?"
The infant giggled at her father. Ezra disposed of the diaper as he continued to dress her.
"Well don't you look pretty." He smiled.
The baby grabbed onto his nose, flashing him a gummy smile. Ezra pecked her nose gently as he looked into his daughter's eyes. They were identical to Aria's, and that was probably the hardest part. Looking into Ellie's eyes everyday was so bittersweet for him.
"I wish Mommy was still here too, Ellie."
The little girl only giggled in response.
"You want to know a secret?" He asked as if he'd get a reply. "Sometimes I want to believe Scotty. I want to believe Mommy isn't really gone. That she'll come back to us."
Ezra sighed."But then Daddy reminds himself that that's crazy. The plane was never found and neither were the passengers. Maybe I just don't want to let go."
And that was the sad truth. When Aria had left in her company's private jet, it wasn't long after when the signal had been lost. They searched for days, but no trace of the jet or any survivors had been found. Ezra kept insisting for them to look. Even if she hadn't survived, he still wanted to find her body. He wanted to see her one last time.
He sighed once more, stroking his now sleeping daughter's hair soothingly.
"Why didn't I try harder, Ells?" He whispered. "I told her not to go. I should've tried harder."
And it was true. When Aria had told him that an opportunity to photograph one of the world's most famous authors in Spain had just opened up for the company she worked at, he instantly didn't want her to go. Flying to a different country on her own, wasn't something he felt was safe. She'd assured him it was going to be her and her partner, and her manager all going. This would be an opportunity that would open many door for them, she had told them.
Ezra had still been leery. But as always, Aria used her persuasive ways and convinced him to let her go. After all, it was only supposed to be a five day trip. Funny how those five days turned into her never coming back.
"Come on. Time to go celebrate Mommy's life."
Thirty-five minutes later, Ezra was walking up to the small Rosewood church. Ella and Byron were already standing outside, anxiously waiting. This hadn't been easy for them either. Losing their only daughter and in such a tragic way. Had caused such big heartbreak. Ella tried to put up a strong front, but she too was still hurting-refusing to believe Aria was dead.
"Look, Grandma and Grandpa are here." Ezra pointed out. "Come on."
"Grandpa! Grandpa!" Both Scotty and Daisy ran up to their grandparents throwing their arms around them.
"Hey there." Ezra simply greeted as he caught up to his children.
"How are you holding up?" Ella asked him.
Ezra sighed. "I'm trying my best." He responded truthfully.
Ella gave him a weak smile. "We're trying too."
Byron gave Ezra an encouraging pat on the back before taking the sleeping baby from his arms. "We'll take the kids and meet you inside."
Ezra nodded. "Thank you."
It wasn't long before the small church filled with people. All of Aria's friends were already there, them too trying their best to accept their best friends death. Dianne and Wes, who'd they become very close with over the years, also arrived, his mother trying her best to cheer her son on and encourage him. But no one could make this emptiness he was feeling go away.
Finally, he walked into the church, stopping at the entrance. If only Aria could see how beautiful the church was for her. A picture of her rested on a stand next to the empty casket that was surrounded by her favorite flowers.
He reached the front of the church, slipping in next to Daisy who immediately took a hold of his arm, hugging it tight. He bent down and place a soothing kiss on her forehead.
He watched as the ceremony began, zoning out almost completely. He couldn't listen to what anybody was saying. He couldn't let her go. It seemed so wrong to be having a memorial service for someone who technically hadn't been confirmed dead. He knew he was wrong to think this since it'd been far too long, but he refused to accept that this ceremony was actually taking place.
As her friends and family slowly stepped onto the stage, sharing special memories with Aria, he wanted to run up there and tell them to stop. That it wasn't right. But he knew that he couldn't do that. The realistic part of him knew Aria was dead. Whether he accepted it or not, was another story. Everyone knew that Aria and the four other passengers had lost their lives.
He finally finished his speech about Aria. He'd spent days just trying to start it. A simple speech wasn't enough to describe how great Aria had been. He needed days for that. Aria had been his soulmate, his best friend, she'd been his life. She was so damn special that narrowing it down to one page, wasn't nearly enough.
He placed the crumpled piece of paper he'd taken out of his pocket just seconds ago into the empty casket. It was the poem, the original paper copy with edit notes and scratch marks, that he'd written about her all those years ago into the casket.
"I love you, Aria." He whispered before stepping off the stage and taking Ellie in his arms.
This isn't goodbye. He vowed as he followed the others out. I will find you. I will see you again. If not in this life then maybe in the next.
A/N: Please review! Also let me know if you'd like for it to be more than a one shot...possibly a 2 or 3 shot. Thanks!