Rammus peered through his thorney forehead shell lovingly at Rek'Sai, his girlfriend who he had been with through several patches and had met through his friend Blitzcrank's shitty dating service. They were currently lounging together on a large stone that somewhat resembled a couch in some cave in the middle of the fucking Shurima Desert.
"GIKGIKGIKGIKGIKGEK." Rek'Sai happily stated before kissing her boyfriend and narrowly avoiding being horribly injured by his spiked head, content to spend the night with the much smaller jungler, after a romantic evening of eating dragons and slaughtering attack damage carries and their families, or in the case of a few of them such as Lucian, just the attack damage carry.
Rammus reciprocated and as soon as they pulled apart, Rammus' tongue was still sticking out and his Puncturing Taunt activated, forcing Rek'Sai to viciously attack her date.
"Mmmrh uk uhk uhuKUKGH UK UK!" The queen of the Xer'Sai screeched in embarrassment as she punctured her claws on Rammus' sexy, hard, spiked abs.
"OK." The armadillo replied, assuring her that he was fine and that if anything, their little accident had hurt her a lot more than it had him. And it did, because Rammus was wearing a Thornmail on their night out.
The awful thing was that you probably thought that this was humorous. Well it isn't. Domestic abuse is a very real issue that affects thousands of men all over the world. You must be an awful person if you don't think men can suffer. Please play Teemo in ranked, shove your head into a toilet, and flush so hard it twists your stupid head off.
"Yeh." He moaned seductively at the void monster, as her attack had strangely aroused him.
"Urukm, uRMph, errEEHGM." Rek'Sai teased before extending her long void tongue and inhaling his dong. She licked the boner clean and it tasted like sand, but it was fine because it was rich desert sand and not the variety that sits in pants pockets and is meant to be thrown in people's eyes by smoking conspiracy theorists. The rough texture fortunately did not scrape the inside of her mouth because her teeth protected her.
Once this incident of foreplay drew to a conclusion, Rek'Sai spit the rod out, and she adjusted her posture on the stone couch to more effectively accommodate Rammus' raging rock hard drool drenched armadillo armored dildo.
And so, Rammus penetrated Rek'Sai's monstrous void pussy and it fortunately did not hurt too much because the armadillo's cock was not covered in spikes. Her estrus carried the delicious fragrance of fresh dead babies.
"Hmm." Rammus intoned with pleasure as he slid in and out at rapidly increasing thrusts per second as he started stacking Zeals and increasing his attack speed like a terrible jungler.
"Yeah." He joked as he plunged deeper and deeper courtesy of his armor penetration.
"EeeaAAREAAUgh, EEerREaAaGUH!" Rek'Sai encouraged Rammus as he activated Tremors and hastened their ascension towards climax. The vibrations felt so heavenly that the nearby Shuriman village collapsed, killing many peasants and orphaning multiple children who would quickly either succumb to dehydration or be kidnapped and used as slaves for the rest of their lives.
"EeaAReUG, EeaAAREauGUh, EEAaAREEaaAGuheEEARAGH!" Rek'Sai roared as she sprayed acidic purple void juices all over Rammus' chest, which was pretty much his entire body.
"..." Rammus said eloquently as he pulled out and nothing dripped out of his dick because there's no water in the desert. Cigarettes suddenly appeared in both of the lovers mouths for post coitus enjoyment.
"Kek KEK HREk EhEK urRAOOORH." Laughed the queen, ready for round two.
Rammus simply grinned and raised his arms, his member hardening already courtesy of his extra cooldown reduction.
At the entrance of the cave, a lone interior crocodile alligator man who had been watching the couple for some creepy reason shed a single tear.
"This is why I'm still insane." Renekton lamented, before neutering his brother Nasus with his big ass blade thing and then tearing his eyes out and replacing them with the severed dog balls.