I don't own CSI.
Wow...fifth story I've written based on "Fallen Angels"! I think it's a record, maybe?
Anyway, I wondered what might have gone through Tina's mind when Eli was taken in by social services and she was brought in for questioning. And, like my story "You Do Not Quit", this story popped into my head. I hope you all enjoy it, and please review.
Tina Brewster sat in the interrogation room alone, fuming with anger. She had refused to let Nick, Sara, Greg or anyone from the team near her son after Warrick's death, and was angry when Nick and Sara tried to get in touch with him after Reverend Rankin's murder. Now, here she was, questioned in two homicides while her son was in the care of social services. She wouldn't allow herself to cry, wouldn't give Warrick's friends the satisfaction of seeing her weak, she thought. But she had to wonder what the hell went so wrong.
She was about to stand and leave when she heard a familiar voice.
"What have you done?"
Tina sat up alert and looked around. There, sitting in front of her, was her ex-husband and Eli's father, Warrick Brown.
"No," she said, shaking her head. "Don't you try to..."
"Try to what?" Warrick asked, cool as could be. "You were the one who cheated. You were the one who tried to pass off my son as someone else's."
"You died!" Tina shouted. "You left me and our son!"
Warrick leaned forward. "You made those decisions. And you made the choice to cut off yourself and Eli from everyone, from my family."
Tina breathed shakily, almost hyperventilating. "I wish we could have made it work, but..."
"But nothing. You always said you couldn't understand my crazy hours or my job, but you worked almost as much as me."
Tina sighed, knowing he was right. "I was proud of you, of your work. You brought closure to so many..."
Warrick gazed steadily at the woman he once loved. "Then pick yourself back up. Let Nick and Greg and Sara and Brass see Eli."
Tina said nothing, but shook her head as tears spilled from her eyes.
"Tina, you are the one who lived in filth, not them. You are the one who let Eli live in those conditions. You are the one who lost your job because of the people you allowed in your life. You are the one who lost our son...not them."
More tears spilled from her eyes. "You don't understand. When you died, I was in agony. I loved you so much, I really did. And I could barely get out of bed. I couldn't get up, get to work, any of that. The only thing that kept me going was Eli. I couldn't...I needed him! I thought if I let anyone else in, he wouldn't need me anymore." Tina couldn't hold back anymore tears and sobbed, laying her head on the table.
Warrick sat patiently, watching the woman he had loved dissolve into tears. Taking her hand, he waited for her to look at him once again.
"Tina, that is your son. He'll always need you, but you need to let him grow up. You need to allow him to be the young man he deserves to be. He loves you, and always will...but you need to live and let him live."
"I can't...I have screwed everything up..."
"No you haven't. Tina, Eli is going to be fine, but you almost had him taken away from you for good. You almost lost him because your anger and grief got in the way of everything."
Tina held Warrick's gaze, realizing he was right. "How can he ever forgive me?"
"He already has, because you're his mother and he loves you. But you must never forget that your pain and anger almost cost you your child...our child. You and Eli both deserve better."
Tina cried. "When I lost you, I-I thought...everything hurt so much..."
"You couldn't see the team without thinking of me?" Warrick asked.
Tina nodded. "It took everything I had to get up and go to your funeral."
"Same thing with them," Warrick said, gesturing towards the door. "Nick, Sara, Greg, Brass, Catherine and Grissom...they weren't just my team, they're my family. Did you know I was going to name Nick as Eli's godfather?"
Tina sniffled and nodded. "You two were always close."
"And he and all of them were devastated, just like you."
Tina looked steadily at Warrick. "How can they ever forgive me?"
Warrick sighed. "They already have. Tina, all they want is to help you and know Eli. They lost me, too. Like you, Eli is all they have left of me."
Nodding, Tina realized she had a second chance not just to be Eli's mother, but to know the team Warrick loved. "What do I have to do?"
"You'll need to go to counseling," Warrick began. "Find and keep a job, get involved in Eli's life and be a mother. And let the team know him...and you."
Tina nodded. "They're good people," she admitted. "I remember you being so angry after Greg was beaten up, and couldn't get over how Grissom and Sara were dating secretly. And Brass...you always hoped he'd patch things up with his daughter."
Warrick nodded. "You have a chance, Tina. Remember what it feels like to come close to losing Eli, and let that push you forward to be a better mother, friend and person."
Tina stared at Warrick's ghost. "I was so mad at you for so long. When you-you died...I was mad at myself for not letting you into Eli's life. You were trying to get custody...you would have made a great father." Tears fell down her cheeks.
"Thank you," Warrick said honestly. "That means a lot. And we could have worked together to raise Eli. But now you can work with his family here. Please don't push them away again. And get yourself together."
"I will," Tina said with a sob. "And Eli will be my first priority, I promise."
"I know he will. You and he will be fine. Take this chance to have the life you and Eli deserve and know his extended family here."
Tina nodded. Bowing her head, she said, "I loved you," in just above a whisper.
"I love you too."
Tina looked up, but Warrick was gone. She sobbed, thinking about how she really cared for him and now had a second chance after nearly losing everything. She closed her eyes and silently prayed, thanking God for putting Warrick in her life and giving her Eli.
She opened her eyes when she heard the door open. She glanced over and saw Jim Brass come in the room.
"You're free to go," he told her. "But Eli will have to be in foster care for a while, and you need to get your own act together."
Tina nodded. "I know." Standing, she walked over to the detective. "I am so sorry."
Jim looked at the woman, confused. "For what? Cutting everyone off from Eli or allowing things to get as far as they did?"
"Both. For everything." Tina's once-steely gaze had softened. "Eli deserves better, and I promise I will do better. I owe that to him, to myself...and to Warrick."
Jim nodded. "Yes, he does, and yes, you do."
Tina nodded and left the room. As she turned the corner, she saw Nick talking to his boss, D.B. Russell.
Nick looked up and barely nodded, still hurt by her not letting him near Eli. He was about to continue talking to Russell when Tina simply put her arms around him, embracing him in a hug.
"I am so, so sorry, Nick. Really, I am." Tina pulled away and looked into Nick's brown eyes. "I am so sorry I wouldn't let you near Eli. I forgot you lost Warrick, too."
Nick nodded, feeling tears come to his own eyes. "Eli is all I have left of Warrick," he said quietly. "When you wouldn't let me in, I-I...it was like losing his father all over again."
Tina nodded, with tears in her own eyes. "I know. I know, and I am so sorry. I'm going to get into counseling a-and work...Eli needs me, but he needs you and his family here too."
Nick felt a tear slip from his eye. "You mean that?"
"Yeah," Tina whispered. "You and Warrick were brothers, Eli's your nephew!" Tina smiled through her tears. "Eli deserves to know you and everyone here, he deserves to know about his father."
Nick smiled and nodded. Clearing his throat to keep himself from crying, he said, "Thank you. He will know about his father, and his father loved him very, very much."
"Yeah," Tina agreed with a sad smile.
After talking with Sara, Tina was able to hug and say goodbye to Eli. "It's only going to be for a little while," she reassured her son. "Then things are going to be different. Your Uncle Nick, Uncle Greg, Uncle Jim and Aunt Sara would love to get to know you."
"Uncle Nick is cool," Eli said. "He let me play with this art pad toy an' told me about my daddy." Eli smiled. "He said I look just like him!"
Tina smiled. "Yes, you do. He really, really wanted to be your daddy. He'd love you so, so much."
"Mommy, are you going to get better?" Eli asked.
"Yes," Tina answered, looking into her son's eyes that were so much like his father's. "I'm going to get better, and we'll be a better family."
Eli smiled and hugged his mother. Tina smiled and cried, feeling that things were really going to be better for her and her son.
That's what Warrick wanted, she thought to herself. That's what he wanted and what we deserve.
The End.