SPIN-OFF OF TALESPIN:
What IF "Talespin" would star LAUNCHPAD?
By Sharan McQuack, Launchpad's wife.
When I first started watching "Ducktales", I assumed Disney was telling the Truth about Launchpad's crashes. But I could not help but admire Launchpad anyway for sticking with something he so oblivously loves, for refusing to give up, for getting BACK into the plane and trying again and again. Then I started to realize that making Launchpad look bad was entirely TOO important to Disney.
They were mean, cruel and down-right NASTY to him. And he's a great guy. (Without him being a goody two-shoes, plaster saint or remotely resembling wishy-washy.) I therefore came to the conclusion that Disney was lying thur it's teeth about Launchpad's crashes. And I can be extremely stubborn when I want to. Hence, this story.
Especially since I KNOW why "Talespin" starred Balloo and NOT Launchpad. Launchpad is energetic and physically attractive. Balloo is neither. Which is also why he didn't sell as well. Deal with it.
This takes place in a possible FUTURE- there are many- Huey, Dewey and Louie are "NOW" over 18 and have taken over for Mr. McDuck, who is semi-retired.
For a while, Launchpad flew for the triplets, as he flew for their great-uncle. But a funny thing happened to the triplets when they grew up: they somehow turned into COMPLETE AND TOTAL STIFFS!
All they ever did was have Launchpad fly them to business meetings and conferences and business opportunities: i.e.: checking out places to build factories and office buildings and rental properties. No treasure hunts or adventures or fun. Even when they went on vacation, they went skiing or golfing. It didn't take long till Launchpad was BORED out of his gourd. So he did the hardest thing he ever had to do: he resigned.
"I can't take this anymore! This is as dull as dishwater! I might as well be flying the shuttle between Washington DC and NYC! ANY pilot could do what you have me doing! You don't NEED me anymore. And Launchpad McQuack always goes where he is needed." Launchpad said to Huey, Dewey and Louie.
And the triplets tried to understand and they wished him well.
So Launchpad ended up working for MOLLY Cunningham's "Higher for Hire". (1) Her husband, James, a pilot, was a friend with Mr. McDuck in his younger days. After Baloo and later Molly's husband, James, retired, (2) she needed another pilot to fly for her. She called Mr. McDuck and asked him if he could recommend a good pilot. Knowing that Launchpad had resigned, do you know what Mr. McDuck said?
"Don't tell him I said so. If you do, I'll deny I ever said it. But I can recommend a GREAT one- and a better friend. Launchpad McQuack."
MEANWHILE... (What would comic-book writers DO without the word "meanwhile"?)... remember Cat Island? Where the Phantom Blot hid the invisible Jet after Agent X stole it? (3) Well, after the Coast Guard cleared the place out, they sealed it up and forgot about it.
Some years later, an embittered young fisherman, playing hookey from work, found the place and re-opened it. He also discovered something the Coast guard had missed: a hidden hanger in a hidden cave. It had 12 light little planes and plenty of fuel in it.
The planes were little beauties. Small, light, maneuverable, very fuel-efficient, with some very wicked weaponary. They were VERY easy to fly, fast and quiet. And since the cave had been shut up air-tight and water-tight, they were none the worse for sitting there for years.
Now, this fisherman was embittered because he wanted to be a pilot and while he knew how to fly a plane, he simply wasn't good enough for anybody to hire him. He could fly a light plane, but nothing more complicated than that. And even then, he was merely compentant. Compairing him to Launchpad would be like compairing an ordinary driver to Speed Racer.(4)
It occured to the young fisherman- whose name was Maurice Sanders- that with these planes and the fold-out runway, he could use this place as a Secret Base to commit crimes from. Only trouble was, he was only one person. He would need like-minded followers- other criminal pilots- "Air Pirates" of sorts. He also need money and supplies. The stockpile of fuel would not last forever. He would also need airplane parts and food and all sorts of sundries.
So Maurice went to see Shere Khan (a decendant of the original). Maurice didn't tell Khan much- just that he, Maurice, had a hidden base in which he could use to commit crimes. For a share of future profits, would Shere Khan provide backing? And find criminal pilots to fly the other 11 planes? Well, since money-loaning and finding and hiring crooks is par-for-the-course for Shere Khan, why not?
Not long after that, the "Air Pirates" TRIED to commit their first crime together. Three guesses who stopped them?
Launchpad was flying from Duckburg, moving the rest of our things to our new home. He was flying over a new highway. Only one lane of said highway on either side was finished, so most people were still using the old road from force of habit. And because the unfinished highway, having only one lane, was no faster than the old road. This being the case, during off-peak hours, the new highway was all but empty.
That's why an armored van, delivering diamonds, choose the new highway to drive on. They figured crooks would have a harder time going unnoticed on an empty road.
But the Air Pirates came down out of the sky, their guns blazing. (5)They all but landed their planes. Launchpad saw this and went to help the armored van. Launchpad had his usual problem in this sort of situation: he's a commericial pilot, not a military one, and ISN'T ALLOWED TO ARM HIS PLANES! Being a law-obeying sort, none of the planes he fly have any weaponary. (6)This places Launchpad at a disadvantage against pilots with less scruples.
Not that this stopped him from preventing them from stealing the diamonds. Launchpad flew rings around them, made them look like kids "flying" a "plane" in front of a supermarket that their mom put a quarter into.
Launchpad radioed the cops, but when the Air Pirates saw the Police Copters in the distance, they forgot about trying to swipe the diamonds. Which was the only thing keeping them in the area: the hope of that one of them could swipe the diamonds while the rest kept Launchpad busy. But when they saw the cops coming, they all charged Launchpad's plane, then turned suddenly, all flying off in different directions.
Later, Launchpad called Griz over at Shush to find out who these "Air Pirates" were. (Since this isn't Mickeynminnieappolis, where DW and Morgana moved to, Launchpad doubted DW would know). After doing a little research, Griz figured out who most of the Air Pirates were.
"You do know that you weren't the first pilot to fly for Mr. McDuck, right? You were the 12th. The others all stole- or tried to steal from him. The Money Bin was obliviously a target. But some swiped small items of great value from his mansion, thinking Mr. McDuck would never notice, but of course he did." Griz began.
"One particically nasty other pilot stole something, got caught and ended up kidnapping Donald. He agreed to let Donald go unharmed if Mr. McDuck would not press charges and if nasty other pilot could "resign" his job as if it was his idea. And n.o.p. actually KEPT HIS WORD knowing that Mr. McDuck would make him rue the day if he didn't." Griz continued.
Which may explain why Mr. McDuck had trouble trusting you or admiting to respecting you: he's been burned one too many a time by so-called "friends". Anyway, that who the Air Pirates are." Griz finished.
"But there were only 11 pilots who worked for Mr. McDuck before I did! There were 12 planes trying to rob the diamonds. Who was the 12th pilot?" Launchpad asked.
"Darned if I know. Thought it might be "Dashing" Duke, but he's gone stright." Griz commented.
"Want to hear irony? He ended up marrying a woman with opals on her land. After trying so hard to steal Mr. McDuck's opals, he marrys this woman who wrote to him in prison and helped him win a pardon. He was actually grateful to her and there turns out to be opals on her land." Griz said.
"Speaking of going stright, I hear Bomber Beagle and a few other Beagles went stright after Ma Beagles's death." Launchpad asked.
"True. Without her to push them or prevent it, Bomber did go stright. He's still flying." Griz confirmed.
"I better talk to him, then. It may take a crook to catch a crook. And since this involves Mr. McDuck's old enemies, he may know something." Launchpad said.
Later, Launchpad did talk to Bomber.
"Look, I've gone stright now, but that doesn't mean I like you or I'm willing to stick MY neck out stopping crooks. So, I'll just tell you this much: Mr. McDuck ain't the only one who is semi-retired. " Bomber began.
"Flintheart Glomgold is grooming Shere Khan to take over for him. You see, old Flinty is the last of the Glomgolds. He's an only child from a long line of only children. He has no relatives- and certainly no friends- to inherit his vast wealth. So he is grooming the top crook- Shere Khan- to take over his businesses. Scuttlebutt says Shere Khan's bankrolling these Air Pirates." Bomber said.
"Mr McDuck's old enemies, again" mumbled Launchpad.
Launchpad figured that by trying to stop these Air Pirates, he was, in a way, still working for . These Air Pirates wre old enemies of his. And they are appearly funded by Flintheart Glomgold's new would-be successor and Glomgold was always Mr. McDuck chief rival.
"Something tells me I'll be facing these Air Pirates again" Launchpad said, reconizing the fickle finger of fate from prior experience with it.
And Launchpad did indeed face and defeat the Air Pirates time and time again.
And so it goes...
(1)And this might be Molly's daugher or granddaughter! If my math's right, 8 years from "now", Molly's granddaughter could be in her 40's!
(2) Someplace along the line, Baloo stopped trying to earn "Higher for Hire" back. He realized he was actually happier letting somebody else run the business end of things. Trying to run 'Higher for Hire" and flying for "Higher for Hire" was TOO MUCH WORK! Baloo realized he prefered just to fly and let someone else have the hassle of handling the books. Besides, much as he hated to admit it, Becky and later her daughter Molly were better at that sort of thing than he was.
(3) See: "Ducktales" : "All Ducks on Deck"
(4) You are entitled to your opinion. I am entitled to MINE.
(5)That is called a strafing run, I think
(6)Not even the Thunderquack. Honest! It has a few tricks up it's sleeve, but nothing the authorities consider "weapons". Launchpad just takes advantage of loop-hoops in the laws.)