Disclaimer: I do not own Shakespeare (God rest his soul).
The Tragedy of Yugi and Tèa.
(((In the dressing room)))
Yugi: How am I supposed to be Romeo when the guy's like, three feet taller than I am?
Tèa: Be creative! I'm Juliet!
Kaiba: I play Tybalt! I hate Romeo, therefore, I hate you, Yugi!
Yugi: *gulp*
Joey: Sweet! I'm Mercutio!
Tristan: And I'm Benvolio!
Yami Yugi: I'm the Prince! Royalty is my specialty!
Yugi: I wonder why, Pharaoh.
Mai: I'm Lady Capulet. Oh goody. Who am I married to?
Pegasus: I am the great Lord Capulet!
Mai: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Isis: I am Lady Montague. Who's Lord Montague?
Yami Bakura: That would be me.
Bakura: I am Sampson, the servant.
Weevil: I'm Gregory! I refuse to be a servant with Bakura!
Yami Marik: I'm Friar Lawrence?! NOOOOOOOO!
Grandpa: I'm Friar John! (puts on cloak) The.cloak.is.too.tight!
Kaiba: You know, Yugi, you have to kiss Tèa on multiple occasions.
Yugi: *gulp*
Rebecca Hopkins: (you know, that annoying brat who thought Grandpa stole her Blue Eyes) I'm the.nurse?
Mokuba: I'm Peter! Perfect!
Bandit Keith: WHAT?! I'M BALTASAR, ROMEO'S SERVANT?!
Yugi: You're my servant? Cool! I order you to jump off a cliff and die!
Bandit Keith: SCREW YOU!
Duke Devlin: I'm the Apothecary. Yay. I wanted to be Romeo!
Kaiba: Why, so you could kiss Tèa? [puckers up. Everyone laughs, except Duke]
Rex Raptor: I'm Abram. Hehehehe!
Director: Does everyone have there parts?
Everyone: Yes.
Director: Okay, in three.two.one.action!
(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))
Scene 1, Act 1
[Weevil and Bakura, servants of the Capulets, enter the village square. Because of the fighting between the Capulets and the Montagues, they are armed with duel disks and decks.]
Bakura: Weevil, on my word, we will not carry coals.
Weevil: .
Bakura: [whispering] Weevil, come on!
Weevil: [sighs] No. That would mean were coal vendors.
Bakura: No, I mean, if we be angry, we will ready our duel disks.
Weevil: Yes, while you live, take your neck out of the noose.
Bakura: I strike vigorously, being roused.
Weevil: But you are not speedily roused to attack.
Bakura: A dog of the Montagues moves me.
Weevil: The fight is between our masters and us their men. Ready your disk. Here come a couple of Montagues.
[Rex and Bandit Keith, Montague's servants, enter]
Bakura: My disk is ready! Duel! I will back thee.
Weevil: How? Turn tail and run?
Bakura: Don't be afraid
Weevil: No, indeed. I fear you!
Bakura: Let's make sure the law is on our side, let them begin.
Weevil: I will scowl as they pass, and let them take it as the please.
Bakura: No, as they dare. I will make an insulting gesture at them, which is disgrace to them if they bare it.
[As Rex and Keith pass, Bakura bites his thumb at them]
Rex Raptor: Do you bite you thumb at us, sir?
Bakura: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Rex: But do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Bakura: [to Weevil] Is the law on my side if I say yes?
Weevil: [to Bakura] No.
Bakura: No, I don't bite my thumb at you. But I do bite my thumb.
Weevil: Do you duel?
Rex: Duel? No.
Bakura: If you do, I am for you. I'm as good a duelist as you are.
Rex: No better.
Bakura: Well, sir.
[Enter Tristan]
Weevil: Say, "better" Here comes Tristan!
Bakura: Yes, better, sir.
Rex: You lie!
Bakura: Insert your deck, if you be men. Weevil, remember the Heart of the Cards! [begin Duel]
Rex: I summon Two Headed King Rex! [King Rex appears]
King Rex: [roars]
Bakura: I summon Lady of Faith, in defense mode! [Lady of Faith appears]
Rex: Two Headed King Rex, attack!
[Result: Lady of Faith is destroyed]
Bakura: ARGGGG!
Tristan: Stop, fools! Put down your disks! You don't know what you are doing!
[Enter Kaiba]
Kaiba: Why are you dueling among these cowardly servants? Turn around, Tristan; look upon your death.
Tristan: I wish to keep the peace! Put up your disk, or use it to help me.
Kaiba: What, ready to duel, but talk of peace? I hate peace as I hate Hell, Montagues, and you. Let's duel, coward! [begin Duel]
Kaiba: I summon La Jinn, the Mystical Genie of the Lamp! [La Jinn appears]
Tristan: I summon Lava Battle Guard, in attack mode! [Lava Battle Guard appears] I also set one Trap Card face down!
Kaiba: I play Cold Wave!
[Result: Disables All Magic and Trap Cards this turn]
Tristan: NO!
Kaiba: La Jinn, attack!
[Result: Lava Battle Guard is destroyed. Tristan loses 300 Life points. Score: Tristan: 1700; Kaiba: 2000]
Bandit Keith: I summon Mechanicalchaser, in attack mode! [Mechanicalchaser appears]
Weevil: I summon the Larva Moth, in defense mode! [Larva Moth appears] Then I equip it with the Cocoon of Evolution! [Larva Moth becomes Cocoon of Evolution] You've got five turns to live! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
[Enter Pegasus and Mai]
Pegasus: What's with all the racket? Give me my duel disk!
Mai: [groans in embarrassment] I can't believe I'm married to this.this.freak!
Pegasus: Mai, the show must go on!
Mai: [sighs] A crutch, a crutch. Why call you for a disk.
Pegasus: WITH FEELING!!!
Mai: [with a sarcastic amount of feeling] A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a duel disk?
Pegasus: My disk, I said! Yami Bakura is here and flourishes his disk in defiance of me!
[Enter Yami Bakura and Isis]
Yami Bakura: That villain Pegasus! Don't hold me back; let me go!
Isis: You will not move a single muscle just to fight an enemy!
[Enter Yami Yugi, with his attendants]
Yami Yugi: To cut a long story short, IF YOU ALL KEEP FIGHTING I'M GONNA CUT OFF YOUR HEADS AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES YOU CAN SEE OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS!!! DO WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING?!
Everyone: [nods]
[All leave, except Yami Bakura, Isis and Tristan]
Yami Bakura: Who restarted this old fight? Speak, nephew, were you here when it began?
Tristan: Here were Capulet's servants and of Montague, they were fighting when I arrived. I tried to stop them, and then, Kaiba came and challenged me to a duel! We fought, but then Prince Yami came and stopped us.
Isis: Where is my son, Yugi? Did you see him today? I'm glad he was not a part of this fight.
Tristan: An hour before daybreak, I saw him under a sycamore tree. I tried to acknowledge him, but he left into the woods. So I left him alone.
Yami Bakura: Many mornings have I seen him there, mourning over his dear Serenity (much to Joey's disliking). He closes all i\his windows and makes it dark as night in his room. I cannot even speak to him.
Tristan: So.no one has been able to talk to him?
Yami Bakura: Friends, family, he still won't speak. He seems.almost destroyed.
[Yugi enters, not noticing the others]
Tristan: Here he comes. You must leave. I'll see what his problem is.
Yami Bakura: I hope that by waiting for Yugi you will be lucky enough to hear a true confession.
[Yami Bakura and Isis leave]
Tristan: Good morning, cousin]
Yugi: Is it still morning?
Tristan: Nine o' clock.
Yugi: Dear God! These past hours seem endless. Was that my father that left in such a hurry?
Tristan: Yep. Tell me, Yugi, what is wrong?
Yugi: Not having what makes the day go by more quickly.
Tristan: Love?
Yugi: Out of love.
Tristan Out of love?
Yugi: Out of her love.
Tristan: Love appears to so gentle but proves to be a rough tyrant.
Yugi: Love may be blind, but it can still hit its target. This I regret. The feud between our families involves love as well as hate. Do you laugh?
Tristan: No cuz, I'd rather cry.
Yugi: For what?
Tristan: Your sadness.
Yugi: Your concern over my grief only increases the burden of my sorrow. Good bye, Tristan.
Tristan: Wait! I'll go with you! If you leave me behind, you will harm my soul.
Yugi: Oh please! I'm not myself! I am not Yugi, he's somewhere else!
Tristan: Tell me, seriously. Who do you love?
Yugi: Why? To add to my woe?
Tristan: No! Please, just tell me.
Yugi: Seriously, I do love a woman.
Tristan: No duh.
Yugi: And she is beautiful.
Tristan: No duh.
Yugi: She has shunned me! She punishes me!
Tristan: And she insists on living to punish you?
Yugi: Pretty much.
Tristan: Just don't think about her.
Yugi: Teach me how to forget to think!
Tristan: To check out other woman.
Yugi: Examining other woman will only make me dwell more upon her exquisite beauty.
Tristan: I'll teach you to forget, or never give up until I die.
[They leave]
((((((((((((((End of Scene 1)))))))))))))))
(((((Back in the dressing room)))))
Keith: Weevil, I would have kicked your ass!
Weevil: Bring it on!
Yugi: Romeo is way too emotional.
Kaiba: Tybalt ROCKS!
Yugi: -_-
Tèa: I think I'm in the next scene!
Yugi: Oh goodie.
Kaiba: Come soon to your local theater, it's.Yugi kissing Tèa!
Yugi: [faints]
Tèa: What's wrong with him?
(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))
R/R, and BE NICE ABOUT IT!
The Tragedy of Yugi and Tèa.
(((In the dressing room)))
Yugi: How am I supposed to be Romeo when the guy's like, three feet taller than I am?
Tèa: Be creative! I'm Juliet!
Kaiba: I play Tybalt! I hate Romeo, therefore, I hate you, Yugi!
Yugi: *gulp*
Joey: Sweet! I'm Mercutio!
Tristan: And I'm Benvolio!
Yami Yugi: I'm the Prince! Royalty is my specialty!
Yugi: I wonder why, Pharaoh.
Mai: I'm Lady Capulet. Oh goody. Who am I married to?
Pegasus: I am the great Lord Capulet!
Mai: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Isis: I am Lady Montague. Who's Lord Montague?
Yami Bakura: That would be me.
Bakura: I am Sampson, the servant.
Weevil: I'm Gregory! I refuse to be a servant with Bakura!
Yami Marik: I'm Friar Lawrence?! NOOOOOOOO!
Grandpa: I'm Friar John! (puts on cloak) The.cloak.is.too.tight!
Kaiba: You know, Yugi, you have to kiss Tèa on multiple occasions.
Yugi: *gulp*
Rebecca Hopkins: (you know, that annoying brat who thought Grandpa stole her Blue Eyes) I'm the.nurse?
Mokuba: I'm Peter! Perfect!
Bandit Keith: WHAT?! I'M BALTASAR, ROMEO'S SERVANT?!
Yugi: You're my servant? Cool! I order you to jump off a cliff and die!
Bandit Keith: SCREW YOU!
Duke Devlin: I'm the Apothecary. Yay. I wanted to be Romeo!
Kaiba: Why, so you could kiss Tèa? [puckers up. Everyone laughs, except Duke]
Rex Raptor: I'm Abram. Hehehehe!
Director: Does everyone have there parts?
Everyone: Yes.
Director: Okay, in three.two.one.action!
(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))
Scene 1, Act 1
[Weevil and Bakura, servants of the Capulets, enter the village square. Because of the fighting between the Capulets and the Montagues, they are armed with duel disks and decks.]
Bakura: Weevil, on my word, we will not carry coals.
Weevil: .
Bakura: [whispering] Weevil, come on!
Weevil: [sighs] No. That would mean were coal vendors.
Bakura: No, I mean, if we be angry, we will ready our duel disks.
Weevil: Yes, while you live, take your neck out of the noose.
Bakura: I strike vigorously, being roused.
Weevil: But you are not speedily roused to attack.
Bakura: A dog of the Montagues moves me.
Weevil: The fight is between our masters and us their men. Ready your disk. Here come a couple of Montagues.
[Rex and Bandit Keith, Montague's servants, enter]
Bakura: My disk is ready! Duel! I will back thee.
Weevil: How? Turn tail and run?
Bakura: Don't be afraid
Weevil: No, indeed. I fear you!
Bakura: Let's make sure the law is on our side, let them begin.
Weevil: I will scowl as they pass, and let them take it as the please.
Bakura: No, as they dare. I will make an insulting gesture at them, which is disgrace to them if they bare it.
[As Rex and Keith pass, Bakura bites his thumb at them]
Rex Raptor: Do you bite you thumb at us, sir?
Bakura: I do bite my thumb, sir.
Rex: But do you bite your thumb at us, sir?
Bakura: [to Weevil] Is the law on my side if I say yes?
Weevil: [to Bakura] No.
Bakura: No, I don't bite my thumb at you. But I do bite my thumb.
Weevil: Do you duel?
Rex: Duel? No.
Bakura: If you do, I am for you. I'm as good a duelist as you are.
Rex: No better.
Bakura: Well, sir.
[Enter Tristan]
Weevil: Say, "better" Here comes Tristan!
Bakura: Yes, better, sir.
Rex: You lie!
Bakura: Insert your deck, if you be men. Weevil, remember the Heart of the Cards! [begin Duel]
Rex: I summon Two Headed King Rex! [King Rex appears]
King Rex: [roars]
Bakura: I summon Lady of Faith, in defense mode! [Lady of Faith appears]
Rex: Two Headed King Rex, attack!
[Result: Lady of Faith is destroyed]
Bakura: ARGGGG!
Tristan: Stop, fools! Put down your disks! You don't know what you are doing!
[Enter Kaiba]
Kaiba: Why are you dueling among these cowardly servants? Turn around, Tristan; look upon your death.
Tristan: I wish to keep the peace! Put up your disk, or use it to help me.
Kaiba: What, ready to duel, but talk of peace? I hate peace as I hate Hell, Montagues, and you. Let's duel, coward! [begin Duel]
Kaiba: I summon La Jinn, the Mystical Genie of the Lamp! [La Jinn appears]
Tristan: I summon Lava Battle Guard, in attack mode! [Lava Battle Guard appears] I also set one Trap Card face down!
Kaiba: I play Cold Wave!
[Result: Disables All Magic and Trap Cards this turn]
Tristan: NO!
Kaiba: La Jinn, attack!
[Result: Lava Battle Guard is destroyed. Tristan loses 300 Life points. Score: Tristan: 1700; Kaiba: 2000]
Bandit Keith: I summon Mechanicalchaser, in attack mode! [Mechanicalchaser appears]
Weevil: I summon the Larva Moth, in defense mode! [Larva Moth appears] Then I equip it with the Cocoon of Evolution! [Larva Moth becomes Cocoon of Evolution] You've got five turns to live! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
[Enter Pegasus and Mai]
Pegasus: What's with all the racket? Give me my duel disk!
Mai: [groans in embarrassment] I can't believe I'm married to this.this.freak!
Pegasus: Mai, the show must go on!
Mai: [sighs] A crutch, a crutch. Why call you for a disk.
Pegasus: WITH FEELING!!!
Mai: [with a sarcastic amount of feeling] A crutch, a crutch! Why call you for a duel disk?
Pegasus: My disk, I said! Yami Bakura is here and flourishes his disk in defiance of me!
[Enter Yami Bakura and Isis]
Yami Bakura: That villain Pegasus! Don't hold me back; let me go!
Isis: You will not move a single muscle just to fight an enemy!
[Enter Yami Yugi, with his attendants]
Yami Yugi: To cut a long story short, IF YOU ALL KEEP FIGHTING I'M GONNA CUT OFF YOUR HEADS AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR UP YOUR ASSES YOU CAN SEE OUT OF YOUR MOUTHS!!! DO WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING?!
Everyone: [nods]
[All leave, except Yami Bakura, Isis and Tristan]
Yami Bakura: Who restarted this old fight? Speak, nephew, were you here when it began?
Tristan: Here were Capulet's servants and of Montague, they were fighting when I arrived. I tried to stop them, and then, Kaiba came and challenged me to a duel! We fought, but then Prince Yami came and stopped us.
Isis: Where is my son, Yugi? Did you see him today? I'm glad he was not a part of this fight.
Tristan: An hour before daybreak, I saw him under a sycamore tree. I tried to acknowledge him, but he left into the woods. So I left him alone.
Yami Bakura: Many mornings have I seen him there, mourning over his dear Serenity (much to Joey's disliking). He closes all i\his windows and makes it dark as night in his room. I cannot even speak to him.
Tristan: So.no one has been able to talk to him?
Yami Bakura: Friends, family, he still won't speak. He seems.almost destroyed.
[Yugi enters, not noticing the others]
Tristan: Here he comes. You must leave. I'll see what his problem is.
Yami Bakura: I hope that by waiting for Yugi you will be lucky enough to hear a true confession.
[Yami Bakura and Isis leave]
Tristan: Good morning, cousin]
Yugi: Is it still morning?
Tristan: Nine o' clock.
Yugi: Dear God! These past hours seem endless. Was that my father that left in such a hurry?
Tristan: Yep. Tell me, Yugi, what is wrong?
Yugi: Not having what makes the day go by more quickly.
Tristan: Love?
Yugi: Out of love.
Tristan Out of love?
Yugi: Out of her love.
Tristan: Love appears to so gentle but proves to be a rough tyrant.
Yugi: Love may be blind, but it can still hit its target. This I regret. The feud between our families involves love as well as hate. Do you laugh?
Tristan: No cuz, I'd rather cry.
Yugi: For what?
Tristan: Your sadness.
Yugi: Your concern over my grief only increases the burden of my sorrow. Good bye, Tristan.
Tristan: Wait! I'll go with you! If you leave me behind, you will harm my soul.
Yugi: Oh please! I'm not myself! I am not Yugi, he's somewhere else!
Tristan: Tell me, seriously. Who do you love?
Yugi: Why? To add to my woe?
Tristan: No! Please, just tell me.
Yugi: Seriously, I do love a woman.
Tristan: No duh.
Yugi: And she is beautiful.
Tristan: No duh.
Yugi: She has shunned me! She punishes me!
Tristan: And she insists on living to punish you?
Yugi: Pretty much.
Tristan: Just don't think about her.
Yugi: Teach me how to forget to think!
Tristan: To check out other woman.
Yugi: Examining other woman will only make me dwell more upon her exquisite beauty.
Tristan: I'll teach you to forget, or never give up until I die.
[They leave]
((((((((((((((End of Scene 1)))))))))))))))
(((((Back in the dressing room)))))
Keith: Weevil, I would have kicked your ass!
Weevil: Bring it on!
Yugi: Romeo is way too emotional.
Kaiba: Tybalt ROCKS!
Yugi: -_-
Tèa: I think I'm in the next scene!
Yugi: Oh goodie.
Kaiba: Come soon to your local theater, it's.Yugi kissing Tèa!
Yugi: [faints]
Tèa: What's wrong with him?
(((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))
R/R, and BE NICE ABOUT IT!