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Noctilucent

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Summary: For some reason, the elite kunoichi from the Sand seemed to view his favourite pastime as a personal insult.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Kishimoto Masashi holds rights to that one.

Setting: I'd say…. I dunno, maybe eight, ten years after the Fourth Shinobi war? The timing doesn't matter; just that they're older and have built good rapport over the years.

Genre: Humor mostly, with perhaps a bit of angst and romance thrown in. Feel free to take a microscope and look for it.

Warning: A rather voluble and vile-tongued Temari, inspired by her characterization in wingedmercury's 'Zombie Plague' (an absolutely brilliant fic, a must-read for all, ShikaTem fan or not). A few creative insults, though of course nothing can beat wingedmercury's 'Ass-clown'.

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Nara Shikamaru whole-heartedly believed that sometimes it would be easier to simply stop breathing and be claimed by death, rather than undergo all the tiring cumbersome years which were the mark of a fruitful and accomplished life.

He accepted that this belief was rather morbid, not to mention it raised significant psychological questions; but some things were too damn troublesome to undergo again and again and again till responses were ingrained in memory.

For example, his current predicament, wherein his meditative contemplation of the universe and its infinitesimal components was rudely interrupted by a blonde hormonal pig with attitude and sharp pointy weapons.

And no, he was not talking about Ino.

"Just what do you think you're doing, cretin?"

No, he was not talking about his loud, overbearing, troublesome childhood friend. He was referring to an altogether much louder, more overbearing (to the point where she would have been labelled a bully, had anyone summoned the courage to make such a suicidal declaration), ruder, more obstinate, and thousand times more troublesome kunoichi, who was also blessed with a sadistic and malevolent streak, particularly when dealing with her favourite prey, in this case, himself.

Shikamaru sighed, having answered the same question a million times over the course of their (not-so-friendly-and-definitely-too-bothersome) acquaintance. "I'm watching the clouds."

Temari scoffed. "And a more wasteful hobby I can't imagine. You've been blessed with a brain, which is more than the other idiots in this village can claim. So use it, you fool, instead of idling away your time like this!"

Any Kohona shinobi would have bristled at that; but Shikamaru only sighed, all too familiar with Temari's derisive jabs. Besides, he was sure he heard a compliment hidden somewhere between the insults and inventive death threats spewing from her potty mouth, though he was feeling much too lazy to delve deeper into her meaning.

"Che. Too troublesome."

Shikamaru closed his eyes, willing Temari's screeches to fade to the background. Honestly, she was worse than Ino when she started nagging.

Hands on her hips, the sand princess nudged him impatiently with a foot. "Are you listening, you overgrown pineapple-head tobacco-addict chimpanzee?"

"It's too early in the morning to even consider doing anything."

"It's nearly afternoon, you troll-slow ding-bat!"

Shikamaru raised a mildly impressed eyebrow. Temari was quite inventive with her name-calling; she never repeated the same insult twice. A silly thing to keep track of, but it was merely another of the oddities that characterized their friendship(?).

The Nara had his excuse ready, although it sounded quite lame even to his ears. "I was helping Naruto with his paperwork last night. He agreed that I deserve a break."

For all her insistence on ensuring that Shikamaru listen to her, Temari was quite adept at ignoring everything he said.

Bull-dozing over his mumbled explanation, Temari shouted, "There are so many pending tasks that could use you intelligence, fleeting as it is! If you aren't assigned any missions, you could at least summon the decency to extend a bit of hospitality to a weary Suna delegate who spent the past three days on the road!"

The Konoha genius drifted into semi-slumber once more, satisfied that nothing disastrous had occurred during his interrupted siesta. So Temari merely wanted a free meal… pity Shikamaru was not hungry enough to humour her request (command).

"I'm telling you to do something productive with your time, you flea-mangled donkey! Something that stimulates that underused brain of yours so that you don't turn into a soggy vegetable!"

An unbidden image of a withered carrot topped by his distinctive spiky ponytail came immediately to his genius brain, and he repressed a shudder. Temari said the most outrageous and disturbing things…

Needing to distract both himself and her from their respective trains of thought (both detrimental to his sanity), Shikamaru opted for the fail-safe way to disconcert his opponent: agree with her.

"You're right."

"Huh?" Temari stopped mid-rant, her ire disappearing in face of confusion.

Shikamaru suppressed a smirk. That got her attention, didn't it?

"I agree that my brain has not been active recently. As you pointed out, I must exercise my intelligence to keep it in good shape, though I highly doubt that lack thereof would transform me into some kind of garden waste. Ergo, I could use a shogi partner."

Temari blanched, and wisely backed away from the discussion. The confident kunoichi experienced pathetic defeat every time she was roped into his passive hobbies, and she had no wish to be humiliated again. She was by no means a graceful loser, and knew to quit while she was ahead.

Quickly recovering, Temari combated his roundabout invitation-cum-threat with yet another rude comment (it seemed she was never short of those). "I'm not desperate enough to challenge you when you're half-asleep and even more unmotivated than usual. And that's saying something, since you have as much ambition and perseverance as a dunderheaded dodo-bird!"

A minute frown worked its way on to the accused birdbrain's forehead, and he snapped shortly, "I told you I wasn't sleeping. I was watching the clouds."

Temari snorted dismissively. "Stupid clouds. Sure they're floating around, but they're not gonna go anywhere. You can come back and watch them later. Now come, Shikamaru, get your lazy bum off the grass. A four-course breakfast is waiting, and you better have your wallet."

Shikamaru muttered petulantly, "When I come back, the clouds won't be in the same position as they are now, so it isn't really the same thing."

Temari was least sympathetic. "Bah, what difference does it make? They're just clouds; they're nothing worth looking at. In fact, they're damning annoying, if you ask me."

"And pray, what have the clouds done to offend you?"

The question was merely rhetorical, but Temari huffed and looked away. The conspicuous lack of response piqued the lazy genius' curiosity even more than the illogical dislike.

"You don't like clouds." He stated it bluntly, and to his surprise, she agreed straightforwardly, albeit accompanied with a rude rolling of her eyes.

"Yeah… said so, didn't I?"

Shikamaru sighed in exasperation. "And why don't you like clouds?"

"Why don't you like to do anything worthwhile?"

Shikamaru bit back an acerbic reply. Being a genius, he was never short of witty comebacks; however his extraordinary talents had helped him realize early in life that the more sarcastic a person was, the less they appreciated their trademark retort skills being used against them.

Or maybe it was just too troublesome to retaliate to someone who demonstrated more determination in her very demeanor than he had shown in his entire life. (Or simply because Temari was more vindictive, held grudges for a long time, and was methodical and meticulous in her revenge)

"Come on, fish-eyes, time's not gonna wait for you, you know."

Sighing, he dropped the matter in favor of (relatively) quiet contemplation, but her inexplicable hostility towards his precious clouds was not so easily dismissed from his head.

Cautiously framing his words, Shikamaru began poking around for an explanation. "Whichever way you look at it, it doesn't make sense."

"What do you mean?" retorted Temari, slightly defensive. She wasn't the type to shy away from uncomfortable topics, so her hesitance was intriguing.

"Clouds bring rain. You live in Suna, in the middle of the desert. Suna is always short on water, so the Kazekage takes great pains to ensure every drop of scarce rain is harvested and reused. Since rain is so cherished, it follows that desert-dwellers should treat clouds with special regard."

Piercing her with his eyes in a rare burst of concentrated activeness, he continued, "Besides, I've been to Suna, and all the people I talked to were fascinated with the rain and thunderclouds of Konoha. 'Symphony of the Heavens', I remember Matsuri saying…."

Temari broke away from his gaze, waving away his ruminations. "Hmmph. Just because everyone likes them doesn't mean that I should."

Shikamaru nodded, accepting her logic but still clueless (and curious) as to the basis of her rather unusual opinion. "But there's no reason to hate them, is there?"

The sand-nin snorted. "Hate is easy."

There was really nothing to say to that.

Shikamaru's face darkened. Despite the unity between the Five Great Nations during the Fourth Shinobi war, the Daimyos had quickly acclimatized themselves to the peace that followed, going back to what they did best: start meaningless rivalries with other nations. Thankfully, the shinobi villages managed to maintain somewhat cordial relations with each other, having shed sweat and blood and lost loved ones together. But still, all those grand ideas of Shinobi alliances and world peace were quite disappointingly shot to the ground. Change took time, not just decades, but generations.

Both were silent for a while, no doubt recollecting painful memories. A hush came upon the clearing, as if both warriors were silently mourning the fallen.

Returning to the topic after a bit of serious thought, Shikamaru inquired, "But why clouds? Clouds are peaceful and soothing and relaxing. Their shapes are fascinating; you can observe them for hours at a stretch." Shikamaru was sincere, his words coming from years of experience.

However, the sand kunoichi's face darkened, and he instinctively knew that he had crossed some invisible line. For a moment, he was confident she would begin screaming, but instead she spat out bitterly, "You want to now what my problem is? I'll tell you! They're too high! No matter how much I train, my winds still can't touch the clouds in the sky! Even my most devastating techniques cannot blow apart the stupid clouds which purview me placidly from their empyrean seat!"

Shikamaru blinked, mildly surprised at the simplicity of the entire issue (and the complexity of her sudden assertion). It seemed hardly a valid reason to label the clouds as her mortal enemy…but then again, Temari was quick to form grudges.

"I practice and practice! I bring down the trees in your stupid Konoha forest and turn the tallest ugliest buildings in Otogakure to rubble-"

The stoic Nara felt a sudden pang of sympathy for the slandered village, privately of the opinion that declaring all buildings in the land of Mist as ugly was rather prejudiced (if not offensive).

Shikamaru also refrained from pointing out that most of the buildings in Oto were rather short, not to mention unstable, as the inhabitants relied more on underground tunnels and the like. Again, his superior intelligence warned him that such an announcement would be potentially fatal (for him, of course, not for her).

Temari stormed about, red-faced and fervent in her anger, her words rushed and unstoppable. "But the stupid, stupid, stupid clouds still sit smugly on top, mocking me with their billowing white ice-creaminess! I hate them, the stupid clean-looking cottony clouds with their brains-in-the-sky floating!

Shikamaru sweat-dropped. Was it normal to be reminded of food while looking at clouds? And what on earth did she mean by 'brains in the sky'?

Armed with natural brilliance and experience borne from years of observing his father deal with the terrifyingly troublesome woman that was his mother, Shikamaru quickly deduced that Temari had successfully cleared the initial challenge of denial and reached the stage of righteous indignation. In doing so, she had taken a complete 180-degree, from being reluctant to divulge the matter to appointing him as prime confidante of her cloudy troubles.

The sand kunoichi paced about, glaring at nothing in particular and flattening the grass with her stomping feet (or her livid gaze).

Shikamaru could think up a great many weather-related jokes, but he doubted they would lighten up the charged atmosphere. Temari may have a figurative storm cloud over her head, but mocking her gloomy outlook or overcast face would only encourage her to rain on his parade.

No matter. It was time for him to use the skills at his disposal, to aid an innocent (but violent) illiterate overcome the crippling mist of ignorance and clear the fog from her eyes. Shikamaru was determined to show his friend (tormentor) the clouds as he saw them, to reveal the wondrous gift of nature for what it really was.

Or maybe he just wanted to make her feel foolish. She deserved it, for trying to weasel free food out of him when he had emptied his pockets for Chouji just the previous week.

Attempting to reason with the irate blonde (or perhaps trying to defend his precious pastime), Shikamaru muttered half-heartedly, "That's not the clouds' fault, is it?"

"Are you saying it's my fault?" She got into his face, glaring through her kohl-lined green orbs. "Are you trying to imply, Shi-ka-ma-ru, that I'm not strong enough?"

Apparently, the clouds had given her a bit of an inferiority complex. Seesh, talk about high achievers.

Genius as ever, Shikamaru took only a few minutes to come up with a solution to soothe her ire and indirectly save himself from being decapitated by angry female.

Shrugging away Temari's accusation, the Nara changed his tactics. "Your main element in wind, correct?"

"Well, duh" she rolled her eyes, gesturing towards her massive fan with a careless shrug. Really, Shikamaru knew she didn't have the patience; why did he bother with the rhetoric?

"But you can also use sand."

"I'm from the desert, Shikamaru" she snapped, only her wary respect for his intelligence stopped her from banging his head with the aforementioned weapon.

Shikamaru narrowed his eyes, but persisted. He was used to Temari's infamous restlessness, a complete contrast to his boundless patience. "But you can use sand. Not as fast or deadly as Gaara perhaps; but you can manipulate sand to some extent, yes?"

Temari glowered. "Every child in the Suna academy can manipulate sand to some extent, Shikamaru. Don't lump me in with the wannabes. My sand is pretty damn deadly." Apparently, she did not appreciate the analogy, though it was uncertain whether it was the parallel to her sibling or to the inexperienced youngsters that she found offensive.

Either way, Shikamaru was not suicidal enough to belittle her skills as a kunoichi. Temari was rather aggressive when it came to protecting her pride, and he was in no mood to spar with her (he rarely was, and with good reason; Temari was vindictive. Enough said).

Proceeding with his point, he inquired, "In fact, you can combine your affinity for wind and sand to conjure up sandstorms, the Dust Wind Technique, yes?"

"So you actually remember that time I saved your ass back at those Chuunin exams in Iwa?" Temari smirked. "I thought you were too busy collapsing and playing damsel in distress to observe the real fight."

If Shikamaru was irritated by her skewed version of events, he did not show it. In fact, he was a bit relieved that the brunt of her anger had been successfully diverted. Sighing, he mumbled, "An isolated incident. It was simply too hot to fight."

"Whatever you say, Shika." Temari began to placate him, not even trying to conceal her impish grin. "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone that the Shogi genius couldn't even handle a couple of petty thieves and came screaming to me for help."

"Those petty thieves, as you call them, were all jounin-level and top of the bingo book for nearly half a decade.

"Yeah, so what? We've faced worse."

Both sobered at that. Even now, so many years later, the war still rankled.

Hastening to change the topic, Temari began to elaborate on her sandstorm technique, if only to dispel the sombre atmosphere. "My fan creates a huge gust of wind that layers the surroundings with sand. Not only do enemies lose their footing, but they are also blinded by the sand burst."

"Hmm…" Shikamaru had little interest in the technical specifics, Temari noted, a bit miffed.

"Your Sandstorms have saved your life on more than one occasion, correct?"

Temari glared. Shikamaru's questions always had a point, not matter how circuitous the route. But really, did he have to drag things out so much? Perhaps it made him feel smarter. It certainly gave Temari the uneasy feeling that she was walking right into a verbal trap.

"Yeah... I guess."

"So basically, you owe your life to them?"

Tch, I just said so, didn't I? Reaching the limit of her endurance for deliberate stupidity, Temari snapped waspishly, "I can't owe my life to my technique, baka. It's the same as owing myself. And that makes no sense at all."

"But still, you are grateful to the Dust Wind Technique."

"Of course. I'm grateful to anything that can help pound the ass of a certain lazy rambling supposed genius."

Shikamaru refrained from rising to her implied challenge. Despite his win (ignoring the forfeit) in their Chuunin exams, Temari always acted as if she was the stronger one. She won't listen even if I object, so why bother?

Returning to the matter at hand, Shikamaru (finally) got to the point. "You are grateful to your sandstorm technique. So then… do you hate the sand-clouds you make?"

Temari choked, taken aback by the question. After a moment of fumbling, she spluttered, "This and that are completely different!"

"But you must accept that you don't hate all clouds, right?"

"Well…" Green eyes darted to the sides, seeking a distraction, a diversion, any means to dodge the question and the ramifications its answer proposed.

Shikamaru persisted, raising his voice a little to emphasize. "In fact, if you could actually reach the clouds, you might not dislike them at all, am I right?"

Temari glared at the azure sky, as if the answer could be found in the clouds she so detested. A quick peep at her companion showed that he was not impressed by her dawdling. In fact, Shikamaru had the temerity to look rather amused!

It was more his smugness than caused her to finally snap. Well, she was bound to lose anyway. Everyone knew she was too hyper to play the waiting game.

"Oh fine! You win! All clouds aren't evil or cruel or taunting or sadistic. But your stupid Konoha clouds are still irritating!" Temari glowered impressively, then huffed and flopped to the ground beside him.

Finding the brusque indication of defeat to be satisfactory, Shikamaru turned away to continue his contemplation of the clouds. Mentally dismissing the matter, he completely failed to notice the devious grin creeping across his companion's face.

The Nara positioned himself comfortably on the grass, wriggling around till he found the perfect spot. Crossing his arms behind his head, he faced the heavens once more, to find his vision bared by a cloud of Sand.

Dull brown specks smothered the sunlight and made his eyes itch. The sand was far enough to be out of his reach, but near enough to completely block his view of the sky and the fluffy white floating objects he had especially come to see.

Beside him, Temari smirked. "Hmmm…maybe clouds aren't so bad after all."

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Explanation of the title

Noctilucent: A thin mostly cirriform-looking cloud based from about 264,000 to 280,000 feet (80–85 km) and occasionally seen in deep twilight after sunset and before sunrise (Source: Wikipedia).

Thanks for reading! Now comes the review bit… *wink wink*

Constructive criticism appreciated! Was this fic too rushed? Too OOC? Tell me your thoughts!

A hearty thanks to AnimeFan202, Tigers and Dragons, RosesAndRavens for your lovely reviews and favorites! Special shout-out to Tigers and Dragons for bringing a spelling error to my attention.

This fic is not beta-ed, so please point out any mistakes or faulty grammar! Much appreciated!

Temari is a bit OOC, I know... I'll edit this a bit later and try to iron out the wrinkles in her character! Till then, toodles!