Summary: Hello fellow Glee lovers. I know you probably never heard of me before but I am a fellow fanfiction writer. Have been for a few years now. I've written for such shows as Charmed, Scrubs, Torchwood, FAKE, NCIS, and Psych. Not bragging or anything but if you ever want to read any of my stuff drop by site. Back to the matter at hand this is my first time posting a Glee fic. I used to be heavily into Pukurt, you know Puck and Kurt but recently I've been addicted to Dave and Kurt. Don't really know why but I've always been attracted to slash couples who are opposite and have some angry and fire between them. Also I see potential with Dave's character and I really hope Ryan Murphy decides to keep him around longer. Anyways while this fic mostly surrounds Karofsky coming to terms with his sexuality it is Kurtofsky. Hope you like it. It will also be broken down into three parts. Oh P.S. AU from the episode Never Been Kissed.

Disclaimer: I don't own this show and if I did it wouldn't be on FOX. Cinemax maybe but not FOX.

Part One-Swan Song

It was after he got expelled from McKinley when his parents decided to send him to see a shrink. Not the regular one, the one that could prescribe anti-depressants if need be because in all seriousness his parents thought he was severely depressed. And why wouldn't they. To them it was as if their son had changed over night. Once a bright, sweet, athletic Dr. Jekyll, he suddenly morphed into a hideous, angry, violent Mr. Hyde and they didn't like it. Paul and Teresa tried to handle the situation on their on but the explosion had proved to be to much. Even with the reinstatement back at McKinley they still saw no other options. So, they gave Dave an ultimatum. See someone about what was bothering him so much or go to military school. Dave agreed to the first option, siding that going to an all boys school wouldn't help his problems at all.

So there he was, sitting across from the doctor, scowling as usual, and avoiding all eye contact. The doctor, a middle aged black chick, started off small asking questions about home and school life before zoning in directly on him. Dave kept the answers simple, using only a few words to respond or head movements when he didn't feel like answering. Time passed by in a grueling slow pace until he looked up and noticed he only had five minutes left in his session. Dave was happy for that but the doctor wasn't about to let him leave without asking him one final question.

"Dave do you think you're depressed."

He thought about the question seriously for a moment. Sure he felt confused and betrayed by his mind and body when thoughts of Kurt penetrated his thoughts. Of course he looked at his reflection in the mirror with a mixture of pity and disgust. Yes there were nights he wanted to cry, yell, and scream until his eyes bleed his throat was raw, and his voice hoarse. Yes the idea of swallowing a bottle of sleeping pills so he could fall asleep and never wake up seemed appealing to him but that didn't make him depressed loser. So ultimately he shook his head no.

And that's how it went on, for two weeks he would answer small questions vaguely and ignore the big one with hopes that she would tell his parents the sessions weren't working. During his third session Dr. Fishel gave him a bright blue notebook. The reason, she told him that writing out your problems instead of talking about them helped some people better. Dave thought the idea itself was stupid, it was just a notebook, but he didn't tell her that. Instead he took the notebook and mumbled an insincere thanks. He may be confused about his sexuality but he wasn't some pansy who needed to write out his problems. Besides, it wasn't as though writing in that dumb book was mandatory for his sessions. As soon as he got home he chucked the book off somewhere determined to never see it again. Until that fateful day.

Two months into his therapy, Dave was walking through the mall trying to find his mom a nice birthday present when he saw them. Kurt and that preppy asshole from Dalton. They were laughing about something, Kurt's smile so bright Dave thought his heart would melt. But Kurt didn't see him, he was too occupied with Blaine. Standing so close together their hands were practically touching. Dave saw red. Anger immediately flowed through his body and the need to hit something grew intensely. He had to get of there and fast.

He raced to his room and slammed the door behind him, grateful that his parents weren't home before proceeded to throw everything in sight. No matter what he threw it didn't curb his anger when suddenly he saw it. The notebook sticking out halfway from underneath his bed. The bright blue cover seemed to place a trance on him, beckoning him to use it. So, taking a deep breath, he walked over to his bed and grabbed the book. Then he sat down at his desk, grabbed a pen, opened the notebook, and began to write.

The moment his pen touched the paper it was as if the dam inside him broke and every emotion Dave felt in life gushed out. The pain and fear that sat caked around his heart seemed to dissolve with every word he wrote. Each time the black ink stained the white crisp paper another chip on his should fell to the ground. Then he began to cry. Dave Karfosky, who hadn't cried since he was nine, cried until his eyes were puffy and red and he wrote until his hand was sore and cramped. But he didn't stop, not until every feeling conveyed was written down inside the notebook. Somewhere, in the midst of his cathartic breakdown he fell asleep. It was the best sleep he had in months.

In his next session Dave walked into the doctor's office and sat down. Dr. Fishel immediately noticed that for the first time since the sessions began Dave was smiling. She was about to ask why he was happy but he beat her to it.

"I'm gay," he stated contently, still smiling.

Dr. Fishel blinked in surprise. Not because of what Dave had told her but from the emotion he was displaying. Her patient was finally taking the steps needed to make himself back. Taking a moment to compose herself she smiled back. "And how does that make you feel?" she asked.

The smile never left his face. "Like I'm finally finding the person I've been looking for."

There you have it part one. Hope you guys like it and if you do drop me a line or two. If you don't I seriously don't care but I really hope you do. Anyways keep your plants and hope alive and stay out of trouble. Until Next time

LadyCizzle.