The Rachel
Author's Note: I got the inspiration for this inspiration from watching "The Final Page" episode of How I Met Your Mother (because I LOVE that show). The plays are taken directly from the show (though it's slightly changed for the purpose of the story) but everything else is mine. As always, I don't own Glee, How I Met Your Mother, or The Playbook. The title comes from a spoof of "The Robin" (as it's called on HIMYM).
May 23, 2015 (Present day)
After years of waiting and different relationships, the day for Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry's wedding had finally arrived. They'd both matured a lot since their high school and first and second years of college days, and now, in New York City, were ready to get married.
Their wedding had gone off without a hitch, and they danced the entire reception and smiled so much their cheeks hurt.
When it came time for the speeches, Kurt stood up and tapped his spoon against his glass of champagne.
"If I could have everyone's attention, please." Kurt said, standing up as he waited for everyone to quiet down. "For those of you who don't know me, I'm Kurt Hummel, best friend of the bride and stepbrother of the groom. Some of you have been waiting to hear the story of how Finn and Rachel got engaged this time around, and knowing these two, they may or may not have told you the full story. Luckily, I have the final page from the infamous Finn and Rachel scrapbook that details exactly how my dear stepbrother planned the whole elaborate proposal."
"I can't believe Kurt found a copy of this." Finn said as Rachel leaned in to him to kiss him before Kurt started talking.
Step One: Admit to yourself that you still have feelings for this girl
February 14, 2014
"Hey, Rachel, I'm glad you made it back to Lima!" Will Schuester said as he saw one of his favorite students enter the McKinley High School front doors.
"It's really not a problem. I wouldn't miss a New Directions reunion for anything. And thankfully Funny Girl rehearsals ended early." Rachel said as she followed Mr. Schue back to the old choir room.
"Kids, you remember Rachel Berry." Mr. Schue said, going over to the white board. He picked up the black dry erase marker and wrote something on the board.
Rachel heard the choir room door open and looked up to see Finn walk in, and her mouth went dry. Sure, the last time they did anything remotely romantic was exactly a year at Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury's non-wedding, but she couldn't help the butterflies that started fluttering in her stomach.
There was something about being back in Lima that caused her to go crazy.
"Hey, Mr. Schue, I hope it's okay that I brought someone to the reunion." Rachel heard Puck say. She rolled her eyes. Some things never change.
"Hi, Rachel." Finn said, giving her his famous half smile.
Rachel looked up at Finn through her bangs and smiled at him. "Hi, Finn, how are you doing?"
"I'm doing well. I got into NYU for fall semester. Think you can handle being the same city as me?"
Rachel broke out into a smile (she couldn't help it, Finn just did that to her) and reached out to touch Finn on the arm. "That's great. Congratulations, Finn. You'll have to let me know when you get settled into the city and we'll do lunch or something like that. I'm sure Zac would want to meet you, too."
That stopped Finn in his tracks. "Zac?"
"Yeah, Zac. He's my boyfriend in the city. He's a great guy, Finn."
"Well, you know what happens when you date guys that aren't good. I show up and beat them up in hotel rooms." Finn said, giving off a slight chuckle even though he was slightly uncomfortable that Rachel was dating someone else that wasn't him, again.
Rachel also started chuckling. "Trust me, Zac is nothing like Brody. He's incredibly loyal and loves sitting on my lap, especially when I give him a scratch behind the ears."
Finn raised his eyebrows. "This sounds like an incredibly weird relationship, Rachel. I mean, I'm not one to judge, but…"
Rachel started laughing a genuine laugh. "Finn, I'm kidding about Zac is the name of Kurt's puppy. Between the internship at Vogue, NYADA, and working at the diner, Kurt doesn't really get to take care of him. So when I get home from a grueling day of rehearsal, I sit back and relax, and Zac likes to curl up next to me while I watch TV." Rachel took a cookie off the tray and broke a piece off. "As much as I'd love to stay at this for the rest of the day, my dads have requested to spend the rest of the day with me. Let's do dinner at Breadstix while I'm still here in town."
"Sounds good to me. How long are you in town?"
"I'm here until Sunday. I wish I could stay longer, but I still have rehearsals for Funny Girl, and I'm lucky I even got to come out today."
Finn nodded. "Well, how about tomorrow night the two of us go get dinner at Breadstix?"
Rachel smiled as she put another piece of cookie in her mouth. "Sounds perfect. I'll see you tomorrow." She walked to the door, gave Mr. Schue a hug, and left.
Finn watched her leave and let out a sigh when she left.
No matter how much he tried to deny it, he was still in love with Rachel Berry.
He was so in love with her that he was jealous of Kurt's stupid dog.
Step Two: Choose the completely wrong moment to make a drunken move after hanging out at Breadstix…and get shot down on purpose.
February 15, 2014
Breadstix hadn't even been an incredibly hip place to go on a Saturday, which is why it was the perfect place for Finn and Rachel to reconnect. And also, no one they knew would be on the wait staff for the evening, so they could order as much alcohol as they wanted and wouldn't be busted for being underage.
After they went through their first bottle of wine, Rachel was sufficiently tipsy and Finn was almost at that point.
"I really miss you, Finn." Rachel said, looking at her fork as she started giggling. "Isn't funny how the little mermaid thought this was a hairbrush. I never understand it."
Finn smiled at her as his heart started to beat faster (although he couldn't tell if it was from the drinks or because he was around Rachel).
"I love you, Finny." Rachel blurted out, still staring dreamily at the fork. After a few moments of silence, she realized what she said. "Oh, oh my God, I can't believe I just said that." She started to giggle a little, but this was a different giggle than what Finn had heard so far in their dinner "date."
Finn leaned across the table and kissed Rachel. She started to reciprocate the kiss, and then backed off.
"Finn, we can't do this." Rachel said. She got up from the table, a little wobbly, and started putting her coat on. "I have to go."
Step Three: Agree that you two don't work, locking the door on any future you could have together, which will drive Rachel nuts.
February 16, 2014
"I'm so sorry about last night, Rachel." Finn said as the two of them were sitting at a table in the Lima Bean.
"I'm sorry about everything I said last. I guess I really shouldn't drink. Both times it's happened around you, I've done incredibly stupid things." Rachel said, resting her hands on her head (she still had a massive headache, and that was after taking lots of Advil and getting coffee). "I just – I think there's something the two of us need to talk about."
Finn shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Okay…"
"I just don't think the two of us are going to work. At least not right now. I just want to focus on Broadway and Funny Girl. I just don't have time for a boyfriend right now."
Finn looked down at his hands in his lap and looked back at Rachel. "Okay. It sounds like you've thought this over. I'll see you around, Rachel." Finn got up and left the coffee shop.
Step Four: Rachel goes nuts
February 16, 2014
"What the fuck does that mean?" Rachel asked that evening when she was back in New York. She picked up something that Finn gave her when they were still dating and threw it across the apartment.
Kurt, Blaine, and Santana watched with wide eyes from their spot on the sofa. They were used to seeing Rachel have these diva sized meltdowns, but they'd never seen her have one like this.
"I want to kill him, but at the same time, I want him to knock on that door and sweep me off my feet." Rachel said as she threw something else across the apartment.
The three sitting on the couch exchanged one glance, got off the couch, and went to their respective areas.
The best thing to do when Rachel was having a diva sized meltdown was to let her be mad and let her calm down on her own.
Step Five: Find the person who annoys Rachel most in the world and ask for her help. Explain everything to Victoria and hope she agrees to help.
September 15, 2014
"You're Finn Hudson, right?" Rachel's perky assistant, Victoria Rich, asked when Finn showed up to the Broadway stage after a rehearsal.
"Yeah, and you're Victoria?"
Victoria nodded enthusiastically and started talking a million miles a minutes. "I'm so excited to finally meet you, I've heard so much about you from Rachel, I mean, she talks about you all the time, and I just can't believe I'm meeting Finn Hudson right now, and what can I do for you?" she asked all in one breath.
No wonder Rachel couldn't stand Victoria; they had the same amount of energy.
"I have a bit of a proposition for you." Finn said. He looked around to make sure Rachel wasn't around to hear the plan.
By the end of it, Victoria's eyes were wide, and her smile was even wider.
"So, do you think you can help me out?" Finn asked, not bothering to keep the hopeful tone out of his voice.
"Of course I will because I love Rachel like a sister and I'll do anything to make her happy and I promise I won't tell anyone because I know how important this is to keep a secret and you can trust me, Finn, I promise you can." Victoria wrapped her arms around Finn and gave him a bear hug.
Step Six: Check with your doctor about possible broken ribs
September 15, 2014
"Well, Mr. Hudson, we just got your x-rays back and it doesn't appear that you have any broken ribs. If you continue to feel any pain of any sort, make sure to get it checked out." The doctor said, turning off the lights to the x-ray display. "Although, do you mind me asking why you believe you have broken ribs in the first place?"
"It's kind of a long story. Basically, I'm trying to get the girl of my dreams back, and I got a bear hug from her assistant earlier today." Finn said, chuckling to himself.
The doctor nodded and smiled. "Well, if you're going through this much trouble to get a girl back, I hope she's worth it."
"Trust me, Doc; she's more than worth it."
Step Seven: Pretend to be dating Victoria
October 1, 2014
"Finn, I'm so glad you could make…what the hell is she doing here?" Rachel said when she opened the apartment door, revealing Finn (which she was fine with) and Victoria (which she was not fine with).
"Oh, Rachel, it's the greatest thing ever, you see, one day after rehearsals, Finn stopped by, and he was looking for you, but I found him first and we started talking and he asked me to coffee and I accepted and after we had a coffee date we went out on a real date and now here we are having dinner at your apartment with your roommates and it's like I'm meeting the family and I'm so excited!"
"No one wants you here, Victoria!" Rachel shrieked as she shut the door in their faces. She leaned against the door as her body heaved with sobs.
May 23, 2015 (Present day)
"I still can't believe you hate Victoria that much." Finn whispered to Rachel during the speech.
"Well, you led me to believe that the two of you actually were dating. Of course I hated her." Rachel said, leaning into his side as Kurt continued his speech.
Step Eight: Wait until Rachel inevitably breaks into your place to find The Black Book and show it to Victoria.
December 15, 2014
"It's not breaking in if Finn gave me a key." Rachel said to Kurt over the phone as she dug through her purse to find the key to Finn's apartment. She smiled to herself as she pulled the key out and half-listened to Kurt on the other end.
"Do you realize how insane this is? I don't even understand why you hate Victoria so much. She seems like such a nice girl."
Rachel scoffed in the phone as she unlocked Finn's apartment. "To each their own, I suppose. Anyway, Kurt, I have to go. Operation Break Vinn Up is a go." She hung up her cell phone and started snooping around Finn's apartment.
"If I was Finn, where would I hide my little black book?" Rachel said, biting her lip as she looked the apartment, trying to figure out where it would be. Knowing Finn, it was some place obvious so he could find it in a heartbeat if he really needed it.
"It's probably in the bedroom." Rachel said, taking off for the direction of Finn's room.
Once she got in the room, she started rummaging around in the drawers, trying to find what she was looking for.
"Thanks again for taking me to dinner, Finn, I had a great time at the restaurant, it was so romantic and I can't wait to go out with you again tomorrow when your mother and stepfather come to the city." Rachel heard Victoria say.
Rachel's eyes widened with fear as she realized she was close to being caught. She looked down at the open drawer and saw the little book, her saving grace, sitting right on top of Finn's socks. She breathed a sigh of relief, grabbed the book, tossed it haphazardly on the bed, and ran to the closet to hide in.
"Oh, shoot, Finn, I think I left something in your room, do you mind if I go in and get it?" Victoria asked, not waiting for an answer from Finn, instead walking into the open room.
Rachel held her breath as Victoria walked in the room and walked straight for the bed. She saw the book on the bed, and curiosity got the best of her as she opened the book, gasped, dropped the book back on the bed, and fled the room, muttering something unintelligible.
Step Nine: After Victoria "finds" The Black Book, have your first "big fight."
December 15, 2014
"Finn, what is this?" Rachel heard Victoria say from her spot in the closet.
"What…how did you find that?" Finn asked.
"It was just lying out on your bed, and I didn't want to look at it, but I just couldn't help it because I needed to know what it was since you and I are so serious, like I'm meeting your parents tomorrow, and I don't want to believe that you're cheating on me, but this looks a little incriminating."
Step Ten: Prove your loyalty to Victoria by burning The Black Book, and actually burn it. You don't need it anymore.
December 15, 2014
"Victoria, take a breath." Finn said, walking towards the distressed girl. He took the book out of her shaking hands and tossed it in the trash can. "I was planning on throwing this away. I don't need this anymore. I've found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with already. And she's here in the apartment."
Rachel heard what he said and had to hold back the sobs that were about to happen. Finn was really over Rachel, and she wasn't sure she can handle that.
"But, Finn, how do I know you're telling me the truth, because for all I know, when I leave the apartment tonight, you could go back through the trash and get the book and call someone for a random hook up and I don't want to find out through someone else that you cheated on me or hooked up with someone else."
Finn went into the kitchen, grabbed a box of matches, lit one, and tossed it in the trashcan, setting the black book, and everything else, on fire.
"There. There's the proof that I'm not looking for a random hook up. Everything is gone."
May 23, 2015 (Present day)
"Did you know that I knew you were in my apartment the entire time?" Finn whispered in Rachel's ear.
She turned around to face him. "How'd you know that?"
"Kurt called me and told me. And I asked the doorman if a petite brunette had gone to my room."
Rachel gave him a smile. "I can't believe you knew I was in there the entire time. I thought you were going to set your apartment on fire and I was going to die in a tragic accident."
Finn wrapped his arms around Rachel. "I wouldn't want the love of my life to die that way."
Rachel smiled again as she started listening to Kurt's speech again.
Step Eleven: Because your friends have no boundaries, they'll inevitably have an intervention for Rachel, which you'll monitor via the hidden cameras you put in Kurt and Blaine's apartment for the current situation.
December 17, 2014
"Thank goodness it's the weekend." Rachel said when she opened the door to Kurt and Blaine's new apartment, gasping when she saw Puck, Quinn, Sam, Brittany, Artie, Mike, and Tina standing there, along with Santana, Kurt, and Blaine. "You guys, what's this about?"
Kurt stepped forward and held Rachel's hand. "Honey, this is an intervention."
"Seriously? Another intervention? What's this one about? How hard I've been working at rehearsals for Funny Girl? Of course I'm working hard; opening weekend is in two weeks. I cannot afford to start slacking off right now. It wouldn't be fair to the rest of the cast and the crew. We've all been working too hard to slack off."
"No, Rachel, that's not what this is about." Santana said. "We have to talk about your very complicated feelings with Finn."
"My feelings for Finn? I don't have feelings for Finn. Well, I mean, we're friends, but that's it. No romantic feelings here." Rachel said, trying to push past her friends.
"No, Rachel, you can't keep pushing these feelings aside because eventually they will bubble over and it won't be good." Quinn said, rubbing Rachel's arm to get her to calm down.
"I'm only going to say this one more time: I don't have feelings for Finn Hudson. Just because I have the occasional sex dream about him and when we hang out, I always try to spill stuff on his shirt so he'll take it off and I'll get to see his abs doesn't mean I have feelings for him." Rachel sniffed and wiped away a tear that started falling. "I think I do have feelings for him."
Step Twelve: Tell only Puck about your plan to propose to Victoria.
December 18, 2014
"Hey, Puck thanks for agreeing to meet me for coffee while you're still here." Finn said, pouring creamer into his coffee.
"No problem, bro. Besides, there's something I need to talk to you about." Puck said, drinking his coffee without adding anything to it.
"Well, I have something I have to talk to you about, too. And it's big news, huge news." Finn said, taking a sip of this coffee to make sure it was exactly the way he liked it. "I'm going to ask Victoria to marry me. Right before Funny Girl has its test run next Saturday, I'm going to bring Victoria out on the stage in front of the whole audience and propose to her. It's one of her secret wishes, and I'm positive that if I do that, she'll say yes to me. So, what do you think? It's perfect, isn't it?"
Puck gaped at Finn. This is was the complete opposite of what he wanted.
"But, Puck, listen, you can't tell anyone about this plan. Not Quinn, not Kurt or Blaine, and definitely not Rachel."
Step Thirteen: Wait and see if Puck tells Rachel. And if he does, it means your best bro in the world has given you his blessing.
December 27, 2014
"Rachel, you're going to be late to the performance if you don't hurry up." Puck said. He rolled his eyes as he waited in vain outside of Rachel's bedroom door. No matter what he said, Rachel wouldn't leave her room until she was ready.
Finally, the bedroom door opened and Rachel stepped out.
"Wow, Rach, you look absolutely stunning." Puck said.
Rachel smiled at him. "Thank you, Noah. You don't look half bad yourself. I'm glad you can clean up well for an important event in your friend's life."
Puck gave her a weird smile, which Rachel noticed immediately. "What? Why do you look like that?"
"After all these years, you still refuse to call me Puck. It's annoying."
Rachel chuckled. "Well, whenever I have my own children, they also will be calling you Uncle Noah." She grabbed her clutch off the countertop and opened the door to the apartment. "So, what's the big surprise that you won't tell me about?"
"Well, I guess I can't keep it from you any longer. We're taking a limo to the performance."
"A limo? Really? Oh my gosh, that's exciting." Rachel said, her excitement clearly visible. "I've never been in a limo before."
"I know. And I figured that Broadway's newest diva deserves a limo ride to the first run of her first show."
"But, Noah, it's only like a dress rehearsal to make sure there aren't any kinks in the performance. No one really important is going to be there, besides all of you."
Puck opened the door to the limo for Rachel as she slid in. "Wow, this is amazing."
Puck slid in next to her and took her hand. "Rach, there's something I have to tell you."
Rachel took her hand away from Puck's quickly. "Noah, I thought you were in a committed relationship with Quinn. And no matter what you say, I'm not having sex with you in the backseat of a limo."
"What, no, that's not at all what I was planning on doing. I have to tell you something important. Tonight, before the show starts, Finn is going to propose to Victoria."
Rachel started laughing. "That's ludicrous, Noah. The two of them started dating, like, two months ago. There's no way he's going to propose to her."
"I'm sorry, Rachel, but he told me that last week when we went to have coffee. He said he was going to propose to her the way she's always wanted to: on a Broadway stage."
Rachel's mouth dropped. "That's not her wish, that's my wish!" Rachel said, feeling tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "That bitch is not only stealing my man, but she's stealing my proposal."
Puck started laughing. "You said my man. Isn't that a song from the show?"
Rachel glared at Puck. "That is not funny, Noah. We have to get to the theater. ASAP."
May 23, 2015 (Present day)
"You know, I honestly thought you were going to propose to Victoria that way." Rachel said.
Finn kissed the top of Rachel's head. "Don't worry; I've never planned on proposing to anyone other than you."
Step Fourteen: Rachel arrives at her favorite spot in the city and finds the secret final page of The Black Book… the last number you'll ever need.
December 27, 2014
"If I were you, I'd get out on that stage." One of the stage hands whispered to Rachel an hour before show time.
"The show doesn't start for another hour. Why do I need to be out there?"
The stage hand rolled his eyes. "Just do it." He walked off, saying something into his headset.
She watched him walk off for a few seconds, then started walking out to the stage. She saw a piece of paper on the stage floor. Curious, she picked it up and read it.
Rachel Berry: Call this number (212) 030-8534.
Rachel frowned, but pulled out her cell phone and dialed the number.
Whoever owned the phone wasn't keen on answering it as it kept ringing and ringing. As Rachel was about to give up, she heard Finn's voice on the answering machine.
"Hi, you've reached the future home of Finn and Rachel Hudson. We're not here right now, so leave us a message and we'll call you back. And if this is Rachel, look up at the rafters."
Step Fifteen: Rachel realizes she's standing underneath mistletoe.
December 27, 2014
Doing as Finn said to do over the phone, she looked up and saw a piece of mistletoe hanging there. She smiled to herself and heard Finn's voice on the answering machine again.
"Now, Rach, I need you to flip the piece of paper over for me. When you do that, hang up the phone."
Rachel once again did as Finn's voice said to do and gasped.
Rachel Berry, will you marry me?
May 23, 2015 (Present day)
"I thought that was a very creative way to do that, Finn." Rachel said as they intertwined their fingers together.
Step Sixteen: Hope she says yes.
December 27, 2014
Rachel Berry, will you marry me?
That's all that was written on the backside of the paper.
Rachel's mouth dropped open and she was pretty sure she blacked out for a minute or so. When she came back around, she looked down and saw Finn on bended knee, holding out an engagement ring.
"So, what's your answer going to be, Rach?"
She felt her tears well up and cloud her vision. She nodded yes, pulled Finn up off his knees and kissed him. When they broke apart, he slid the ring on her finger, and she turned to the audience. "I'm getting married everybody!"
Step Seventeen: Have Kurt give a toast at the wedding
May 23, 2015
"And that, friends and family of Mr. and Mrs. Hudson, is how they got engaged the second time around." He folded his speech up and put it in one of his pockets. "Finn, Rachel, I love you both and I'm so happy for the two of you as you start your lives together." He picked up his champagne glass and held it up. "To Finn and Rachel. May you both live long and happy lives."
"To Finn and Rachel." The crowd of guests repeated.
Kurt took his spot next to Finn and leaned in. "So, how was my speech?"
Finn and Rachel looked at each other with smiles on their faces. "Best. Wedding. Speech. Ever."