Imperfectly Beautiful Chapter 1: Ripped in Two, a misc. plays/musicals fanfic

Imperfectly Beautiful

Chapter One: Ripped in Two

As I got off the bus and approached the large stonewashed building that was my school I had never felt more alone. Every laugh from happy students cut through me like a knife. I felt a lump in my throat and tears began to prick my eyes. I swallowed, hard, and blinked away the tears. I promised myself that there would be no more tears. And there won't be. The time for crying is over. Now is the time for revenge.

………………………

My name is Katarina. But I prefer to be known as Kat. I have a non-identical twin sister named Cordelia. But she prefers to be known as Lia. Exactly one year ago my dad found out that he got a job in Germany; near a small town named Magdeburg so my whole family was forced to move.

At first we hated it, but we gradually got used to the reality that we were stuck here whether we like it or not. Only my Dad was really comfortable with the move, but considering that he is from Germany, it probably felt like coming back home. We can all read write and speak fluent German, so the language wasn't a problem; it was just the whole atmosphere and way of life. I'm telling you now-the difference between England and Germany is astronomical.

My twin Lia is stunning. Thick wavy blond hair, dazzlingly bright blue eyes, permanently tanned skin and a body to die for. She looks like a Barbie, but in the best possible way. Sometimes I really wish we were identical. She obviously gets all the male attention, whereas in that category I am usually ignored. We are polar opposites in both looks and personality. I'm 5"3, skinny with poker straight ebony hair that goes past my waist and green eyes. I'm also as pale as you get; so pale that if it were not for my dark hair, people might think that I was albino. The only things we have in common are our straight teeth and large, ahem, appendages. We are both 'straight A students' without having to work very hard which is good I suppose. Lia is kind and sweet and wouldn't hurt a fly. I guess she got all the nice genes, because if angered I would hurt the fly very badly then go after its friends and family just for kicks. She is as docile as a lamb, and I have a fiery temper. She is so disgustingly perfect that I would hate her if she were not my twin and the person I love most in the world.

When we started school we both hated it. All the kids thought we were weird 'English freaks', but after a few weeks we had made some close friends. Lia was obviously 'in' with the popular lot, whereas I was with some more chilled out folks; not Neeks or Stoners just misfits. I think we could have been cool if we tried but we were just too damn lazy.

Oh, I almost forgot to mention that these rockstars also go to our new school. They are this band called Tokio Hotel. It's pretty big in Germany. So anyways, they are like the 'Hot new thing' and obviously get all the girls fawning all over them. Lia, being the beauty she is snapped up the guitarist and despite his manwhore reputation they started going out.

It was almost nauseating the way they were all over each other. In corridors, classrooms, you name it. But then one day we walked into our form room to be assailed by a large picture of Tom kissing another girl. Lia, being the soft hearted and lovely person she is had fallen for him, and so was naturally completely devastated by this. I was just furious that he could use my sister and then think he could get away with it.

I caught sight of his dirty blond dreadlocks strutting down the corridor and was filled with a sudden hatred. I ran, batting oblivious students out of the way and when I reached him, I tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned around, a smirk on his face, I just lost it. I slapped him full force across his left cheek. His face filled with shock and anger but I didn't care.

"How COULD YOU?" I screamed "you BASTARD I could KILL YOU RIGHT NOW!"

"Whaaaatt?" he moaned, looking slightly afraid, his hand clutching his swelling cheek.

"Don't you give me bloody 'What'! How DARE you do this. How DARE you HUMILIATE my sister this way, if you EVER bring your LYING, CHEATING arse within 20 METERS of her again I SWEAR I WILL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS!"

And with that I strode off down the corridor. I really wanted to do more but I knew that I Lia would just be upset that I had 'hurt him'.

Ha! Hurt him! If I had my way I'd castrate him!

Ah well, the fact that he was left with a large hand shaped bruise for about a week was still rather satisfying.

Since the corridor incident was witnessed by many people, much sympathy for my sister had evaporated. Even though what he had done was despicable; high school students being the fickle creatures they are, decided to side with Tom and his cronies.

Rumours began to spread like a festering disease around the school. That my sister had had an abortion. That she had numerous STD's. That she was bulimic. That she self harmed. That she was on drugs. They went on and on, and got worse and worse. Lia became more upset as the days went by. One by one her so called 'friends' deserted her. She was all alone except for me.

Then, one average day in hell, I believe it was a Tuesday, it all came to a head. I never left Lia side since all the nastiness began, but I was in trouble and things seemed to have been dying down. I was handing in a late essay, so Lia went on ahead of me, assuring me that it would be fine. As I left the classroom I could hear the sounds of jeering and shouting. Then a small voice filled with sorrow and pain met my ears. A shard of ice rammed through my heart as I realised it was Lia. I ran, violently pushing people aside as I battled to get through to her. As I finally reached the front of a growing crowd, an awful sight met my eyes.

Lia was curled up in a sitting fetal position on the floor. A fresh bruise adorned her right cheek and scarlet blood was oozing from her nose and a cut on her forehead. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her body shook with sobs. All I could see was vicious faces all leaning down, words of poison leaking from their mouths.

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"Why don't you just go and die you pregnant whore!"

I ran and crouched down beside her, fury like I had never felt welling in my chest.

Through her sobs she managed to choke out

"Stop please! Just leave me alone."

The pain and desperation in her voice finally did it. I snapped.

"Why don't all of you just FUCK OFF! You can stand and judge but just LOOK AT YOURSELVES. You SELF OBSESSED, JUDGEMENTAL FUCKERS! You are all DISGUSTING! You all DISGUST me! What has she EVER done to you?"

A snooty looking girl, that I vaguely knew as being called Chelsea muttered

"Um, she's just a slut, does it matter?"

I screamed from deep in the pit of my stomach and launched myself at her, a small part of my brain registering with pleasure the look of fear and shock on her face. But the rest of me could just see red. I put all my strength and energy into battering the shit out of her, but suddenly I was pulled off her. Through the red I recognised the face of Mr Gillies, my German teacher.

"Katarina Zingg, that is no way to behave. Detention for two hours after school; and be thankful that you weren't punished more severely!"

That detention was the slowest, most drawn out detention of my life. I didn't even give a semblance of working; I just sat there worrying about Lia for the whole time. The image of her face kept spinning around my mind. The haunted eyes, with this tormented look, the pain in them. And then just after that bitch said those horrible things. Her haunted eyes. I could practically feel her heart snapping in two.

As I stepped out of detention, a sharp gust of wind whipped around me. Suddenly I felt these sharp pains in my chest and a panicked voice in my mind began begging me to get home quickly. Call it twins intuition, but I knew something had or was happening to Lia. Abject fear began to bubble in my chest and I ran, ran like I had never run before. My house was a good 20 minutes away and usually I take the bus, but I couldn't wait. I was about half way there when I began to wheeze and felt pains in my side from a stitch, but I didn't let myself stop. My feet rhythmically pounded the pavement and my heart was beating about four times as fast as it usually does. After what seemed like an eternity I reached our house. My hands were shaking and I dropped the key twice before inserting it through the lock. I didn't even bother to remove the key or shut the door; I just pegged it up the stairs. I started calling out, shouting at the top of my voice

"Lia! Lia! Where are you?"

I could smell a faint rusty, salty smell. I grew more frightened as I realised what the smell was. On the carpet outside the bathroom there was something dark and sticky. I touched it and as I lifted up my hand to examine it I realised it was blood.

I gently pushed open the bathroom door. As I gazed on the scene before me I let out a heart wrenching shriek that came right from the pit of my abdomen. Lia lay on the floor, legs and arms splayed out. A blood covered razor lay on the floor by her right hand, where in had obviously fallen from her grip. Blood poured from her wrists; it was everywhere, on walls, in the bath, in the sink on the floor. So much blood. The whole room smelt of blood and death.

I darted to her side and ripped off my T-shirt and cardigan. I wrapped my T-shirt around her right wrist and my cardigan around her left, in an attempt to stop the blood flow. My favourite boots slipped and slid on the blood covered tiles as I cradled her, tears streaming down my face and begged her not to die.

Somewhere in the haze of terror and sorrow, I must have called an ambulance because pretty soon some paramedics rushed up the stairs and into the bathroom. They drove her to the hospital. I clung to the hope that she wouldn't die. I was so scared. I'm the strong one. What if she can't pull through? I couldn't hold her hand because they were working on stopping the blood flow.

I was placed in a waiting room. I waiting and waited, gnawing at my lips until they bled. After what seemed like an eternity, my mum and Dad rushed through the doors. Mum's eyes were red rimmed and puffy like she had been crying, but when she saw me she pulled me close. We hugged for a moment and I felt a tiny bit of the pain release. If we were together then maybe we could channel our strength into her. I saw my brother Ben, his eyes filled with worry. His eyes travelled over my bloodstained clothes and a single tear trickled down his cheek. I motioned to him and despite being sixteen and thirteen; we each sat on one of mum's knees. She held us close and we sat there motionless all night.

We found out the next day that she would live. When I walked into the intensive care room that she was in, I had to fight to hold back the tears. She looked so small and frail with a drip and a blood transfusion feeding into her arm. She had tubes strapped all over her and in her nose. I swallowed hard when I saw the bandages on her wrists. I sat down and took the hand that wasn't full of needles. She turned her now dull blue eyes to me and a ghost of a smile traced her lips.

"Why did you do it" I managed to choke out, "Why did you try and leave me?"

Tears that I couldn't prevent welled up and a few spilled over onto my cheeks.

"I just… I'm not strong like you Kat. I couldn't take what they were saying. I couldn't take being alone."

"But you are never alone. Never. As long as I have breath in my body then I'm by your side."

"I know that now. I'm sorry. They just made me feel…so worthless…so disgusting."

"But you're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you."

I didn't reply for a moment, as I was slightly shocked. Me, beautiful?

"Me, beautiful?"

"Yes. You're so strong and fierce, but you are also compassionate and kind. You have a heart of gold. The beauty of your heart shows on your face. Just because you aren't 'Barbie doll' perfect doesn't mean that you're ugly. You are imperfectly beautiful."

Even two weeks later when Lia was discharged from hospital that phrase kept spinning in my head. Imperfectly beautiful. Kind of an oxymoron.

I'm not too sure how things panned out after this. All I knew was that after days of tantrums and fighting, Lia was on a plane to London all set to go to boarding school in England and I…I wasn't.

Apparently my parents were worried that I would be too 'wild' at a boarding school. Sounds like a load of BS to me. I think they just didn't want to lose two out of three kids in one hit.

But what they didn't anticipate is what the loss of my twin did to me. All I did was sit in my room, cry broken tears and listen to Coldplay's 'Fix You'. On repeat. For days on end. It was just what I wanted to say to Lia. I felt like someone had picked up my heart, ripped half of it off, posted the half to England and then given me this broken mess. I physically couldn't cope. How can you feel this amount of pain, but physically look fine?

After having over three weeks off school my parents put their foot down. I was going back whether I liked it or not. Which brings me to where I am now. Lost, empty and alone. Half blind, half deaf, halved in everything because Lia took half of me with her. I wish she would come and rescue me.

I have promised myself that I will get revenge. These people will pay for what they have done. I swear on my own life that I will not rest until I get retribution.

And today I go to school.