Title: A Jumped-up Pantry Boy

Author: DaminWolfblade

Rating: PG

Pairing: House/Wilson

Word Count: 700

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Wilson interrupts House's private moment with a certain S. Morrissey.

A/N: The noise (you'll know when you read the story) that Wilson makes is actually based on something RSL says in the season 2 bloopers; it's the scene that they use like three times in the reel. When I listening to the song mentioned I thought of Wilson and wanted to write about it.

A/N 2: Would anyone be interested in beta-ing this for me? I know it's already posted, but it's never too late to improve something. On the same note please give constructive criticism/general feedback, it is always appreciated (and this is my first House story, so it is doubly appreciated).

I would go out tonight but I haven't got a stitch to wear; this man said it's gruesome that someone so handsome should care…

Distant sounds sliced through This Charming Man; a door opening, footfalls, voices of doctors, patients, nurses, visitors… and an agitated cough. House cracked open one eye and half-glared at Wilson; he had just ruined the perfect chorus of Morrissey's voice combined with Johnny Marr's guitar. Wilson, however, was not to be deterred from his purpose, judging from his stance that was completed with his 'hands on hips' signature look. House could predict exactly the way this conversation would go, it happened so often. Wilson would have been sent to hound him about something that everyone else mistakenly judged to be important, which House knew to be inane. They would grumble, go their separate ways, save the world, and then have sex at House's apartment after work. Such was life.

House paused his music and plucked the small, white earphones from his ears. He slowly levered himself from the floor and leant his hip against the edge of his desk, looking at Wilson, through both eyes this time, half amused, half annoyed.

"What have I done now? I have not stolen Cuddy's diary yet, or switched Nurse Brenda's spare under-things with the transvestite nurse's… although, that is an interesting thought." House enjoyed Wilson's split-second lapse of control as he smirked at the idea of House's prank. His humour didn't last long.

"Do you have a reason for being so rude to your patient's parents? You know they've filed a complaint against you? Cuddy only just convinced them not to sue you for something or other that you allegedly did! How long can you keep your medical career alive if you keep pulling these dangerous moves?" He threw his hands up in the air as he spoke for good measure. Wilson's exasperation at House was clear; he worried incessantly about his friend and his future as a doctor. As brilliant as Greg was, one day he was going to push the wrong person too far.

"You make it sound like a travesty. A real travesty is that you have no respect for good music! You just interrupted The Smiths! That is worth getting all bothered about, not some up-themselves, rich parents who think they know best." House punctuated his words by leaning forward and pointing a long finger in Wilson's direction.

Wilson was incredulous. He didn't really want to get drawn off topic, but it was he who introduced House to The Smiths back in their college days. How could he insinuate that he didn't know good music?!

"Oh-ho-oh! You can't be -"

"What was that?" House abruptly cut Wilson off. His face lit up and he immediately started swirling through the collection of songs on his iPod.

"What are you talking about House?" So much for not getting off topic. He watched as Greg slotted the music player into its speaker appliance. House snagged his cane from where it was hooked on the corner of his desk, pressed the play button and moved slowly towards Wilson.

The Last of the Famous International Playboys began to filter through House's office.

"Morrissey, lovely. I'm afraid I fail to see what this has to do with anything. Unless this is a fiendish plot to get me to stop annoying you," commented Wilson, eyeing the manner in which Greg was almost sauntering over to him.

"Shut up and listen," House grumbled; he cocked his head to the side, listening to the words.

Dear hero imprisoned
With all the new crimes that you are perfecting
Oh, I cant help quoting you
Because everything that you said rings true ho oh ho oh ho ho

"Ha! There! Before you sounded exactly like Morrissey. Which I must say, is quite a turn on." House smirked at Wilson's expression, "You did describe his voice as the only one that you would ever be able to spontaneously orgasm over, didn't you?"

The laughter in House's tone was evident to James and he blushed, thinking back to the comments he'd made as an infatuated young man.

"Don't be embarrassed Jimmy, I think you may have been almost right." Then without warning, he ploughed the fingers of his left hand into Wilson's hair, yanking him across for a kiss.

Wilson appeared to be more than happy to get off topic now.

And these are the ways
On which I was raised
These are the ways
On which I was raised…