Secret Sanctuary
Written for the NFA O'Dark Thirty Challenge
A team fic
No one would have ever guessed who the secret strength of their team was. Their team was odd enough to outsiders as it was, with their hard-ass commander, a trained assassin, a playboy former cop and a tech-geek turned agent. Why they felt that this part of their team needed to be a secret, they couldn't explain. Everyone knew they considered themselves a family and were suspicious of all outsiders. Everyone knew Gibbs cared for the team like an overprotective father with his children.
Perhaps this was just one thing about them they didn't want everybody to know.
Whatever the reason, none of them would ever admit to the truth. To any outsider, Gibbs would be the obvious powerhouse. They all looked up to him, not only as a Boss, but as a mentor or a father-figure. In return, he took every opportunity to keep them safe from any and all dangers they might face. Whenever they needed him, morning or night, he would be there for them. He never had to say it, they always knew it.
But as Abby had pointed out on more than one occasion, Gibbs had a bad habit of going overboard. He didn't believe in small gestures or warnings. When he took care of something, he made sure it would never be an issue again.
Perhaps that was the reason he wasn't their secret strength. There was nothing secret about the strength he wielded. Everyone, from the SecNav to the criminals that they apprehended, knew that to attack the team was to attack Gibbs and that Gibbs would strike back with all the power he could manage.
He was a refuge they indulged in. There wasn't a member of their team that hadn't come to his basement seeking protection. From themselves, from others, from anything. His door, as he always reminded them, was always open.
But when they weren't looking for someone to save them, when they weren't skirting the very laws they protected every day or some moral issue, they turned instead to another source.
Tim would never know when the team found out how little he slept. He certainly never brought it up. He had fully embraced the coffee-laced lifestyle that ruled the team, because he was every bit the caffeine-junkie that they were. He'd never moved from the college way-of-life.
Though he drank coffee while at work, the better to fit in with his team, at home he downed the energy drinks that had kept him alive during college. He spent his free time now much the same way he had then, feverishly working on a new program or working his way through another MMORPG. He'd never needed a lot of sleep, preferring instead to keep his mind constantly stimulated.
Slowly, but surely, the team had come to visit. Admittedly, the first night-time visit was as unexpected as the first day-time visit. Tim did not have an open door policy. Not one member of the team, however, had a problem picking his lock.
Abby had been his first night-time visitor. It could be argued that she'd had an unfair working knowledge of how Tim operated, considering that they had dated previously. She knew when she sought refuge at his house after an extremely insulting date that he would be there.
She picked the lock shortly after 1 AM, knowing that he wouldn't even have heard her knock. He'd learned his lesson about the noisy paper-shredder and, in the interests of not being murdered by his neighbors, had gone out of his way to quiet down his habits. He had bought a soundless paper shredder and had bought a pair of noise-cancelling earphones that he now played all of his games through.
His gut had been well developed, his long years with Gibbs finally paying off. Even though he couldn't possibly have heard her, before she had even closed the door he had swung around and was leveling his gun at her. "Abby!" He exclaimed, quickly lowering the gun. "Jesus! Are you alright?"
She smiled, amused as always that Tim's first thought when talking to a six-foot tall, towering Goth was about her safety. "Yes." She said, well aware that her mascara had streaked her face because of her crying. "I'm fine."
He looked her over, taking in the dark, tight clothing she'd worn on her date. His gaze might have lingered in a few places, but with Tim such an action never bothered her. When he was satisfied there was nothing physically wrong with her, he offered her a smile. "Hey, Abbs." He greeted her, walking over to her and gathering her into his arms.
"Hi, Timmy." She said, biting her lip as she tried to hold more tears back. She leaned into his embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. "What've you been up to?" She asked in an attempt at being casual. Even though it was a Friday night, he was wearing his usual pajamas, an MIT shirt and boxers. His blondish-brown hair was slightly rumpled, making her think he'd run his hands through it in frustration more than once. He was adorable.
And that was why he was their secret strength. Maybe it was because he was such a quiet person in general, or a private person in general. He was always one to respect other people's privacy. He knew that she didn't want to talk about her problems and wanted distracted even though neither of them said it.
Instead of prying, instead of demanding answers, he went for an immediate distraction. He placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, before heading to his closet and pulling out the spare desk chair he'd bought for Sarah's visits. "A friend of mine sent me a game he wrote, asking me to beta-test it for him." He said, gently directing her to the chair before retaking his own. "Come on, you can help me. It's a fantasy game, but I've been stuck on this castle level for ages. If Tony knew, I'd never live down the shame. You have to help me!"
She couldn't help but giggle, which she knew had been his intention. Abby knew from experience that Tim wasn't exactly the greatest at computer games. He made stupid mistakes sometimes, just like any other player. The only attribute that made Tim so good at the games was his sheer determination. On any day when she was annoyed with him, that characteristic blended into one of his less appealing traits- sheer, male stubbornness. She giggled again over her thoughts, causing Tim to look at her curiously, but when she shook her head, he didn't push and instead turned back to the game.
The game quickly loaded and the two went to work, doing what they did best. It worked perfectly as a distraction, which was his intent, giving her a much needed break from whatever had brought her to his door. They worked in harmony, much as they did when tracking down the bad guys, playfully teasing each other and trying to distract the other in order to gain the lead, but ultimately working towards their goal.
Even her Caf-Pow energy couldn't outlast Tim, though, as he was far more used to playing these games into the wee hours of the night than she was. The exhaustion of her night caught up to her much sooner than she'd have thought and far sooner than she would have liked, she was yawning and losing focus on the game.
"C'mon, Abbs." Tim practically carried her into his bedroom when he noticed her character began taking a lot more hits than before. "You should get some sleep. I'll wake you up tomorrow."
He started to leave, but she pulled him down next to her. "Timmy." She stopped any protest he might have made with that one emotion-filled word and was rewarded as he shifted close enough to wrap his arms around her. He held her close, her head tucked just under his chin, keeping her safe.
They lay there in silence for a long time, their breathing the only sound in the room. Ever so slowly, the tension in Abby's body faded as she breathed in the scent of one of her favorite men in the world. He wasn't Gibbs, smelling so sweetly of sawdust all the time, or Tony, trying to impress every woman in the world with an expensive cologne. No, instead her Timmy always smelled boyishly sweet, using no more scent most of the time than the coconut flavored shampoo she knew he loved to use.
"He made fun of me, Timmy." She whispered finally, her eyes filling with tears again when she decided she couldn't keep silent any longer. "I met this man at a bar and he was dressed every bit as Gothic as I was. We had a good time and agreed to go out, but it was horrible. He laughed at me. He was dressed in a business suit for dinner. Said he didn't think anyone wore Gothic clothing when they weren't clubbing. It was horrible."
She knew she was a horrible person. She knew that Tim loved her and that she hurt him every time she went out with someone besides him, but she also knew that above all Tim was a good guy. Despite everything she did to him, he would never hold her actions against her. Even if she did probably deserve it for breaking his heart.
Sure enough, he didn't hesitate in the slightest to reassure her. "Abby, don't ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself." He said, almost as soon as she stopped speaking, shaking her slightly to punctuate his words. "You're gorgeous, inside and out. If he couldn't see that, he doesn't deserve you. He's an idiot; he'll realize that someday and want to kill himself for making such a stupid mistake and losing such an awesome girl." His arms tightened around her, comforting her with the strength of his words.
She couldn't hold back her tears any longer. She had tried earlier to do so, walking out of the restaurant with her head held high after hauling off and smacking the man. She knew her worth, she'd spoken to both Ducky and Gibbs about her dating disasters at length, though admittedly Ducky was slightly more helpful. She knew she was good woman who deserved a good man who loved her for who she really was.
But it was only on nights like this- when her night couldn't even be salvaged by going out to one of her favorite night clubs- she felt the overwhelming urge to come see Tim. She knew what Gibbs knew, possibly what all the others knew, whether she wanted to admit it or not. She had her perfect man- had given him up. He was patiently waiting for her to grow up, but he would always be the better person, because he wasn't afraid of his feelings.
On nights like these, she had to come see him. The one person who loved her unconditionally, no matter what she had done. She knew what was going to happen, as if it were a bad dream she couldn't shake. Her geek was going to fall in love with a woman strong enough to love him back, to give him the love that he so desperately needed.
That woman was not going to be her. She knew deep down that whatever chance she and Tim had once had was long gone. He was holding on to a dream that she knew could never come true. She wasn't strong enough to let that happen.
But right now, in this moment, he was still hers. And that would have to be enough for her.
Tony, perhaps logically, was the next to seek Tim out. If he talked to Abby beforehand, Tim would never know. But once again late into the night, Tim was at his computer, busily blasting his way through enemies- aliens, this time- when he felt someone behind him.
He swung around, half-raising his gun, to see Tony closing the front door with a sheepish grin on his face. "Heya, Probie." Tony greeted him.
"Tony, how are you?" Tim asked, clicking the safety back on his gun and saving his game at the same time. He asked no questions, instead moving over to the small 'living room' space he'd finally caved in and created at his sister's demand. The couch and television were quickly taken over, as Tony slumped next to him and stole the remote, quickly finding some black-and-white movie.
The two sat there through two movies, Tony explaining the 'awesomeness' of the movies to Tim. A pizza was called for, popcorn was popped and a six pack apiece was demolished in near silence, with the exception of Tony's monologue and Tim's good-natured grumbling. Not a word was said about why Tony had decided to spend Saturday night- his favorite night of the week- with his least favorite Probie.
Not until much later. When the movies finally ran out, the two men found themselves watching some sort of infomercial. Neither man felt energetic enough to change the channel and both were just drunk enough to be relaxed in each other's presence.
"Fine, Probie." Tony huffed after a moment, as if Tim had been prodding him. "I'm sure you're wondering why I dragged you away from your thrilling elf games. Don't be so pushy!"
Tim glared at his partner, but had to protest even though he was curious. "Tony, I like hanging out with you." He said, tactfully leaving out the "sometimes" he might have added if he'd been a meaner person. "While it was unexpected, I had a good time tonight. I don't need an explanation."
Tony laughed humorlessly. "I know you don't." He agreed. "You're a good man, Probie. Damn good. Too good, most definitely. Hanging out with guys like me and Gibbs…hell, you're too good to be hanging out with girls like Abby and Ziva," he managed a real laugh as the final thought hit him, "NCIS is only going to ruin you. You're too good for us. You're different from us. I know that bothers you- you don't want to be- but you are. It's not bad, Tim. It's really not."
"I think it's time for bed." Tim knew that he didn't want to have this conversation with Tony, drunk or sober. He certainly didn't need his differences to the rest of the team pointed out.
"No." Tony's hand snagged Tim before he could even begin to rise to his feet. "I'm sorry; I know you don't like that kind of talk. You do fit our team, McTim my friend, in many ways. The most important way, I guess, is that you don't like to talk about yourself and your feelings anymore than the rest of us."
Tony fell silent and Tim relaxed, easing back against his couch. "So," he said hesitantly, "what kind of talk did you come here for?" He grinned slyly. "It's not an "I think I'm gay and might be attracted to you" kind of talk, is it? Because no matter what Abby told you-"
He was interrupted as Tony erupted into laughter. "No! Geez, Probie." Tony said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Although I will be talking to Abby, believe you me," he teased, curious as to where his teammate might have gone with that statement, as evidenced by the bright red ears his Probie now had. "No, I didn't come here to talk," he said after a moment, his smile fading. "I came here so I didn't have to talk."
"Well…um, you failed then." Tim noted idly.
Tony grinned at the other man's words. "Most nights," he said, voice lower than usual as if making it easier to say, "when I don't end up in some stranger's bed, I end up on my couch watching movies."
"Tony, really, I'm fine with your whole "no talking" plan." Tim would be the first to admit he was curious about the senior field agent, but he didn't want to find it out when Tony looked so…broken.
Indeed, there was something that looked like pain lining Tony's face. He shook his head, shifting in his seat so that he was facing Tim more fully. "Sometimes, when I feel like I can't keep it all together anymore, I go to Gibbs' house." He talked over the next protest Tim began. "He's always down in that basement of his, sanding his little heart out. Going to his house is…comforting. Safe. You know Gibbs. In spite of his being a total bastard, you know no one's going to mess with him and live. You're safe there."
"Yeah…" Tim was a curious man by nature and was drunk enough by now not to be able to protest the conversation to the degree he should.
Tony knew that tone, knew Tim was hooked. "I had a date tonight," he said, changing the subject as if randomly. He knew he'd succeeded in his little game when Tim rolled his eyes. Any other time, the younger man would have at least tried to hide his annoyance. Thanks to the beer… well, Tony had to have a little fun. Especially when he was bearing his soul. Especially to Tim. "She was actually a decent woman, someone I could talk to. I was trying to explain Gibbs to her and she just didn't understand why I was so 'fascinated' by him." He mimicked a woman's voice as he quoted the annoyance he'd left at Lorenzo's. "Maybe I was explaining him wrong, maybe you have to know his reputation if not the man himself, but she wasn't impressed."
"Like you are." Tim finished the sentence.
"Yeah." Tony couldn't argue with the truth. "Like I am. She said something really sarcastic about me being in love with him or something. And, no," he sneered cheerfully at Tim, "this isn't an "Oh my god, I'm in love with our Boss" sort of conversation either."
"So, you came here so that I would agree?" Tim asked, frowning in confusion. "You know I'm impressed by Gibbs. I was a stuttering wreck for two years because I was so nervous around him."
"Actually, I came here because I was wandering around, trying to figure out where I'd gone wrong in that conversation." Tony said, shrugging. "I don't think many people outside of the team, even those who do know Gibbs, realize how protective he is. I know that I can go to him for anything and he'll help me or die trying. I'm not even sure how I got on the subject, but it suddenly hit me that you're a lot more like him than I ever thought. You're just a- I don't want to say a softer version- but a less intense version."
Tim laughed, only a little bitter. "Thanks. I think."
Tony reached over to pat Tim on the arm. "I knew you'd be thrilled by my brilliant insight, as always. Probie. But, no. I was- it's…" Now that he was here, he didn't know what to say. "You don't just go to Gibbs' house." He said after a minute. "I mean, obviously his door is always open. I've gone there drunk, I've gone there to get drunk, I've been there sober, but I've always had a reason to go there. He's there for us, but he's not a friend. He doesn't want to be and we respect him too much for him to ever be one. But you're just as supporting as he is, while still being a friend. I don't need a reason to come here. You could have been at the final level of that game, about to out-geek all of your little geek-friends and my showing up would mean the game was over. You didn't even protest me coming in."
"I have a little sister. I gave up on the concept of privacy and having time to myself when I was eight years old." Tim said, shrugging uneasily. "It's nothing."
"It is something." Tony disagreed, shaking his head to emphasize his point. "Abby has a brother. I wouldn't go to her for nothing either. For one, I'd be afraid of what she was up to. I go to Abby when no one else can cheer me up. No other reason. I'm not unduly depressed, I'm not even upset about the lack of sex tonight. I'm here for no reason whatsoever."
"Well, I'm glad you feel free to visit whenever you want." Tim said indulgently, patting the other man on the arm. "That's always been one of my favorite parts of this job, the lack of concern we have for each other's private lives. Maybe you should bring one of us along on your next date. You know, liven things up a bit."
Tony sunk deliberately into the couch, stretching his legs out as far as he could to prop them up on the work bench beside the television. "Sarcasm's never really been your thing, McWit." He said, eyeing the other man with his characteristic smirk. "You're just too baby-faced for it. I came here because I could." He said, suddenly getting serious. "I realized that there was no one else I could go to. I don't need Abby or Gibbs and Ziva would kill me for bothering her on one of her days off. My frat buddies would only care that I didn't get the girl in bed. I hang out with some guys from time to time, but I would never randomly show up to visit. I realized you're probably the only friend I have. The best friend I have. I never told you that. We've been working together for almost four years and to anyone who came to visit us one day in the bullpen, we can barely stand each other."
"Tony!" Tim protested. "Come on, no one thinks that."
"Cuz you're too nice to tell them." Tony easily agreed. "You could tell them I was the biggest bastard you had ever met and they'd believe you. But you don't." Tony stretched out, throwing an arm around Tim. "You're a good friend, Tim."
Tim pulled free, rolling his eyes. "Tony, you're a pain in the ass." He shot back. "And I'm not a nice guy," he said, going into his room to grab a spare blanket and pillow. "Because I'm making you sleep on this couch, while I take my nice, big king-sized bed. I'll drive you home tomorrow. I think you need to sleep off some of that alcohol." He finished, throwing the blanket at his friend.
Tony burst out laughing. "Oh, come on, McGee!" He protested, even as he stretched out on the couch. It had to fit in the small crook McGee apportioned for it, so it was barely as long as a regular couch. It worked nicely for Sarah, who had a habit of curling up in her sleep anyways, but was nowhere near long enough for big guys like Tony and Tim. "Why don't you just cut me in half, I might fit then." He grouched, pouting. Sure enough, both Tony's torso and legs hit the armrests on either side.
"Sleep on the floor, then." Tim had no mercy for his friend's dilemma. "You all bitch because I don't have a couch. I get a couch, you bitch about that. There's no pleasing some people." He shot a friendly scowl at the other man and went to his room, still muttering under his breath as Tony laughed helplessly.
Ziva was a different story. He never actually expected her to come invade his home, but he had to admit he wasn't all that surprised when she did. In spite of the absolute terror she often inspired in him, he never missed those few minutes when she let her guard down and let them in. If she felt safe enough to come to him, he could only be honored.
She was changing. She might have been an assassin and she might have tortured people in Israel, but being a part of NCIS was changing her, whether she wanted to admit it or not. She had fallen into line with the team's usual behaviors, fighting for Gibbs' approval and jesting with him and Tony. She was beginning to let her emotions out. Some of Tony's jokes were hitting her a little too hard, some of the victim's stories were causing her pain as she let herself empathize with them.
Tim was attempting to work on his novel when he first was visited by Ziva. He was having a staring contest with a blank sheet of paper that absolutely refused to be written upon when suddenly his jazz music stopped.
"What- Ziva!" He turned impatiently to his record player only to stop short when he saw his teammate, hand still guiltily hovering over the machine. "How did you- I'm not dressed!" He exclaimed, jumping up. Why that was the first thought that came to mind, he couldn't say, but it did.
"McGee," she smiled, shaking her head. "I have seen you in less. I have seen men naked before, you know."
Tim didn't even want to contemplate such a situation. "I believe you." He said, even as hurried into his bedroom. The t-shirt was fine, but he felt much better after he'd pulled on a pair of sweatpants.
She was waiting for him in the living room, smiling indulgently. "Do you feel better now?" She asked. "You are far more covered than I."
Only then did he look at her. She was in a golden-colored short dress that bared her long, tanned legs. The top was halter-style, cut deep into her breasts and baring shoulders and arms. Very high heels lifted her almost to his height.
"Oh." He said, eyes drinking in her outfit. "Wow." It took him a second to pull his eyes away, but when he did, he hurried back to his room as he realized she was shivering. "You're right," he said, digging quickly through his dresser. "You've got to be cold in that dress. Here." He pulled out a sweatshirt.
"Thank you, McGee." Ziva followed him into the room and swiftly pulled the offered sweatshirt on. It fell down far enough on her to cover almost her whole dress. "I appreciate this."
"No problem." He turned back to her when he had the sweatpants to go with the shirt.
"Thanks." She quickly grabbed them as well. "On second thought, walking here may not have been the smartest of ideas," she confessed, hugging her arms to herself.
"Coffee?" Tim gestured her out into the main room.
She nodded, following him out of the bedroom and to the kitchen.
"It is late," she said, leaning on the counter as Tim started the coffee. "I hope that I am not disturbing you."
"It is kinda late." Tim snuck a glance at the clock. It was twenty minutes past two. "Out clubbing?" He asked curiously.
"Yes, I was." Ziva said. "You were…working on your novel?"
"Well…I was trying, at least." Tim shrugged, not about to tell her the truth, that he'd done nothing productive for at least an hour. "Not having much luck tonight, so you're a welcome distraction. Knocking would have been nice, but that would almost be weird by now." After so many random visits by Tony and Abby, Tim wouldn't know what to do if a teammate actually knocked. He probably wouldn't answer, sure it was some kind of joke.
"You do need better locks, McGee." Ziva agreed with a brisk nod. "That one was far too easy to get through. You could be in danger with such a flimsy lock, should anyone come after you," she added, her face softening a little as she spoke. "We would not want anything to happen to you."
As the coffee finished, Tim pulled down two mugs. "Nah, I'm fine," he disagreed. "Only friends have broken in so far. Wouldn't want to make it harder for them; Tony's not the best at lock picking, after all."
He poured a cup for each of them and slid hers across the counter. He doctored his, loading it up with sugar and milk, before turning to watch her sip hers.
She didn't look drunk, even though she had apparently stayed at a club until closing time, but she held her cup tightly between her hands, staring into the liquid as if searching for something. She looked lost, more than a little vulnerable.
"My little sister finally bullied me into buying a couch." He said after a minute. "She claims it's pretty comfortable. I wouldn't know; she sleeps on it all the time."
His words won him a small smile. "Your sister seems to be a very determined girl; you would have known if she disliked it." Ziva observed, heading over to inspect the new couch.
"Yeah," Tim laughed, following her. "I think she considers this her apartment more than mine. Please, sit." He sat after she had, taking the other side of the couch.
They sat in silence for awhile, sipping their drinks. He could see the tension in Ziva's body, but didn't know how to calm her. He knew Abby, he knew Tony- he knew how to distract them. Ziva was not so simple. Still, if there was anything having a little sister was useful for, it was knowing a little about women.
One thing he could say with complete confidence was that they all enjoyed compliments.
"Hey, Ziva, since you're here, I've got something to show you. Reminded me of you." He quickly headed over to his writing desk, grabbing the DVD he'd placed there for inspiration before heading back to his friend. "I was unpacking a box of my college stuff the other day- Sarah is still trying to take over my closet and I've got to make space before she starts throwing my clothes out - and I found this. It used to be one of my favorite movies." He explained, showing it to her.
"Lara Croft, Tomb Raider." Ziva read the title slowly, searching her memory. "I do not know this one." She decided after a minute. "Why did you want to show it to me?"
"Surprisingly enough, I haven't heard Tony talk about it either." Tim agreed, taking the DVD from her and setting it in the built-in DVD player of his television. "But I was having some trouble with one of my Officer Lisa scenes the other day and when I saw this, I had to laugh. I used to think Lara Croft was one of the toughest women around, but you could totally kick her butt."
Lara Croft had been one of Tim's favorite movies for a long time and he settled back, content to watch the movie. They watched in silence for awhile, both content to just relax. Tim had almost forgotten where he was and who he was sitting with when Ziva suddenly twisted on the couch, pulling her feet up and lying her head against his shoulder. "You do not mind, do you, McGee?" She asked, brown eyes looking up pleadingly at him.
"Nah." Tim settled an arm around her, making sure she wouldn't fall. He'd seen her curl up on several of their movie nights against any available source- even Gibbs on more than one occasion. She had a habit of contorting into some of the weirdest positions and claimed to like the heat that the men gave off so abundantly.
Now that they were closer, Tim could smell the faint but lingering odor of stale smoke and alcohol along with the sandalwood scent that Ziva favored. He ran his hand up and down her arm, only then realizing that she was shivering ever so faintly. Whether it was from the cold or something else, he didn't know.
"She is a very strong woman." Ziva said, tucking her head more firmly into Tim's shoulder.
"I always wondered if I'd meet a woman like her." Tim confessed. "Even back in college, most of the girls I knew were computer geeks like me or preppy cheerleaders who tried to make me do their homework."
"You like her?" Ziva looked up at him curiously.
"I like strong women." Tim could admit that. "I've never believed that women were the weaker sex. My mom raised Sarah and I practically by herself. She's the toughest woman I ever met. But you're a close second. I'm glad they made a strong female character like that- but you're like a living recreation. Totally kickass."
"Crazy ninja woman." Ziva said musingly. "That is what Tony calls me."
"Tony might tease you, but he likes that you're strong too." Tim assured her. "I'm glad that you came. If anyone had to replace Kate, I'm glad it was you. Maybe not at first, but now that we've gotten to know you, I can't imagine anyone else taking over for her. Even if I didn't exactly think you'd make it that first day."
Ziva nodded. "America is such a strange place." She confessed. "I did not know if I would last that first day either. Or even if I wanted to. You three were so very different from the men I was used to working with. Your rules were different, your customs, your habits. Every now and then, I have to go do something to prove to myself that I am still the same person."
"Something dangerous?" Tim asked. He knew her life wasn't nearly as dangerous now as it once had been and wandered how she lived with such intensity when there was almost nothing to release it on.
"Potentially." She confessed, nodding. "I would go to the shooting range or to a karate dojo. I know young women in America are warned about the dangers of going to clubs. That was my choice for tonight. In Israel, I had no time for meaningful relationships. A quick hook-up now and again was necessary. Going to a club here should be the ideal- I still have no time for a relationship, but now I am not in danger if I go to a club of being recognized as Eli David's daughter. But now, I have been in America too long. At the club tonight, the men there did not interest me in the least."
Tim knew they were on a serious subject, the reason she'd come to visit him, but couldn't resist. "What about the women?" He asked, grinning.
He wasn't surprised to get an elbow to the gut. "McGee!" Ziva scolded him, grinning. "You see- this proves what I have long suspected- you are spending entirely too much in Tony's company!"
Tim laughed. "You didn't answer," he teased.
"Nor will I!" She exclaimed, sticking her tongue out at him. "Such a question."
He grinned, hugging her tight. "Fine, don't answer. I'll dream about it tonight."
That earned him another smack. "You have changed." She said, smiling. "You are much more confident in yourself. You could not have made a joke like that without turning into a tomato only a few short years ago."
"Gibbs doesn't exactly allow time for being uncertain." Tim couldn't even count the headslaps he'd accumulated his first year with Gibbs just from stuttering. "But Ziva, I don't really see why you're so confused. Don't you see? You've changed too."
"I?" Ziva frowned, confused. "I see no change." She still kept largely to the same schedule she'd always kept.
Tim wasn't about to list all the changes he could note in her from the first time they'd met til now. "Ziva, I mean your priorites have changed. People are only interested in clubbing for awhile before they want something more permanent. You were an assassin- don't think I'll ever forget that- but you were used to uprooting your life on any given day. You have stability- you can think about permanence now. You might not exactly have time for a relationship- hell, we barely have time to sleep- but it is a possibility now. Can you ever say such a thing was even remotely possible before?"
"I would certainly not be so close with my team." Ziva confessed. "Or come visit them so late at night for any reason other than sex. Your mind did not even go there."
"Rule 12 is alive and well," Tim said, "And see, another change. You didn't come here tonight for sex. You came here tonight for…" He trailed off, sstill not entirely certain on that score.
"I came here tonight for comfort." Ziva said, closing her eyes. "I went to the club because I have been feeling lonely. But I realized, the sex would have meant nothing. In the morning, I would have left the man and still have been lonely. But I come here- I break inot your house and interrupt you at work- and your first instinct is still to comfort."
"I'm a big brother." Tim fell back on a comfortable explanation. "Most of my nights were spent fending off monsters."
Ziva shook her head. "No. You truly are a good man. Honorable. To fight criminals every day usually means you become jaded to the good things about life. Tony has so many meaningless flings because he no longer believes there are any good people out there. Abby, same thing. Gibbs refuses to even try to have another relationship because he lost the one good woman he believed to exist. We have seen so many men and women do horrible things to people they are supposed to love, how can we not be cynical? But you, Tim, have managed to avoid that. You still appreciate the kinder parts of life. We need you on our team, even if you were only a computer geek, to remind us that good people still exist."
"Uh, thanks, Ziva." Tim said, slightly uncomfortable. "So, um, how do you like the movie so far?"
His unease couldn't have been more apparent to Ziva, who grinned and decided to let him off the hook. "She is a very impressive woman. I would like to fight her, one on one." She said, turning back to the movie.
She didn't miss his relieved sigh. Nor did she miss the fact that his arm stayed tight around her throughout the movie and even when they both fell asleep.