It was the day of Rinoa's funeral.
Strangers, friends, and acquaintances all moving towards the coffin to say their final goodbyes.
Squall stood unmoving against the wall. The perfect picture of strength and reliability…
That was if you didn't look close enough.
If you looked underneath those blank eyes and carefully masked expression… you'd see a broken man.
A man who had once loved… and now knew only anguish.
He had failed her once again.
Just like the time when Rinoa was almost sealed forever.
Only this time, he couldn't correct his mistake.
He couldn't kiss her, or tell her he loved her, not anymore.
He should've realized something was wrong. He should've realized that he was neglecting her. That he was slowly losing her.
He was her knight for goodness' sake. He was supposed to protect her, to stay with her always.
Now all he had was regrets, the images of what might've been…
Until now he could still see the tears in those brown eyes he loved so much as she told him to end her life. The sorceress in her was slowly taking over her…
He shook his head as she pleaded with him to kill her, to end her suffering.
He wanted to badly to change reality. He told her that he promised to stay at her side, even if the whole world was against them.
She smiled at him sadly.
"It was a nice dream, Squall." She had whispered. "But we both this would happen…"
He had felt defeat then. He wanted to deny what she said. But he knew the truth in her words.
All he could do, as his last duty to her… was to save her, this time, from herself.
Tears slid down her dirt marred cheeks, a smile lighting up her beautiful face for one last time.
He could still remember her last words…
"Thank you…"
She died almost instantly as his gunblade pierced her stomach. He watched painfully as her eyelids fluttered into a slow close, never to open again.
He carried her body to the Garden. Her blood dripping a trail as he walked, his eyes bloodshot and red.
He never cried.
All he could think off was that he was the reason this had happened.
Everyone told him it was alright to grieve…
But if he did, it would have made it all the more real. He just couldn't accept it yet.
Until now he woke up expecting to see her face by his side, hoping against hope that it was all just a bad dream and that she was still with him.
Dreams were so much more painful than reality, because it reminds us of what we could've had.
All he had now were regrets.
Regrets…
Regrets that he knew would never leave him.