I'm back! Did you miss me? :D Haha. Well, here we go. My first slash. It's Kendall and James, because...well, they're my favorite pair. I love them. They're just...MOTHER OF GOD:D
anyway. Based off the song "Like Nobody Else" by My Darkest Days. Enjoy!

He propped himself up on his arm, watching over his loving boyfriend, sleeping soundly beside him. The tall boy, currently awake and in a state of stress, staring at the clock, exchanged glances at the blonde laying beside him. He gave a small sigh, pulling the comforter from his body, standing up. The clock read 4:26 am, as he grabbed his jeans and shirt, slipping into them before slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

Walking back over to the form sleeping in his bed, he pulled out a small piece of paper from his backpack, setting it on the nightstand. He leaned down, planting a gentle kiss on his boyfriend's head. Whispering a soft "I love you," the boy slipped out the door without another word.

September 6th, 11:39 pm.

"James?"

The blonde stirred in his bed, turning so his back was against the wall. He raised a shaking hand, running it through wet, brown hair, staring down at an angelic face. When he didn't answer, the blonde leaned down, placing a soft kiss to his boyfriend's lips. "Jamie?"

"Yes, Kendall?"

"Do you regret this?" he whispered.

James' hazel eyes slowly opened, staring into anxious jade ones. He placed his hand on Kendall's still warm cheek, stroking the humid flesh with his thumb. "And what is it that you think I'm regretting?"

Kendall's gaze shifted away, looking away from James. "Me. Getting involved with me. M-making love to me tonight."

James sat up, more alert than ever before, pulling Kendall up with him. He towed the blonde into his arms, feeling a warm liquid on his chest. He stroked his dirty blonde hair soothingly. "Why would I ever regret something like this? And regret you? Kendall, how could you ask me that?"

"B-because I wanted t-to show you how much I l-love you and I f-feel like it's all for nothing."

"Hey, look at me." He smiled softly, tilting his boyfriend's chin up, wiping the tears that stained his cheeks. "It's not all for nothing. I promise, okay? I'll be home soon."

Kendall nodded, resting his head against his pillow, letting his eyes slipped shut, exhaustion suddenly taking over. James placed himself beside him, draping an arm over Kendall's waist, stroking his hip with his fingers delicately. Before he found sleep, he heard a soft whisper that scared him half to death. "I love you, Jamie."

Kendall stirred to life, noting the absence of another person beside him. Dreading getting out of bed, he lay back down, taking in the scent that was James. Not that fake Cuda spray he usually wears, but the scent that Kendall gets. The fresh, clean cut scent that nobody else in the world has. It was just James. And that's what Kendall loved.

Letting the tears slip down his cheeks, he pulled the blanket over his head, praying to whatever God that was out there that he'd find sleep again. No matter how much he tried, his prayers weren't answered. Throwing the blanket off his head in frustration at the lack of sleep, he sat up, leaning back against the wall. Eyes wandering around the room, something caught his eye, a small piece of paper. He picked it up slowly, noticing the perfect handwriting that he came so used to seeing when they all sat down to write songs together. He smiled through his tears, opening it slowly.

My darling;

I'm sorry to have to leave you so early in the morning on September Seventh. It's about three weeks before I leave for New York to go to Julliard. I just can't help but have an ache in my stomach and a tug at my heart strings at the thought of having to leave you.

I wish I could tell you that I'd call you and text you every minute of every day, but at Julliard, they have a strict policy at cell phones being on campus. I'm gonna have to leave my phone home. But we always have Facebook, right?

I know, I suck at writing things like this. I'm not used to it, okay? I wish I had all the right words, I wish I had any answers, I wish I had something to give you, sweetheart. But I hope this note will be enough, and that you'll keep it with you. So no matter where I go or where we are in the world, you'll have a reminder of how much I care about you.

I shouldn't feel like going away to school for my dreams is the biggest mistake that I'm making, but I do. I don't know what it is anymore. There's just something about you that's making me feel like this. And it's physically giving me pain to even think about leaving you. But Kendall, you mean everything to me. Don't forget that, okay? You're amazing, and I wouldn't have it any other way, than to have the honor to call you mine. Because if I could, I'd stand on top of the world and scream it to the heavens that I'm not letting you go. You give me feelings I never thought possible. Feelings I didn't think it was possible for a person to have. My face lights up at a mere mention of your name, and your smile is something I could wake up to, every day. That right there, is happiness. I could live contently with you, and never question my happiness ever again. You look at me like nobody else has ever done. And the way you make me feel...I can't even explain it. It's amazing, Kendall.

Kendall Knight, I promise. I'm going to do my best to make this last between us. No distance is going to keep us apart. I'm yours, Kendall. And you're mine.

Yours.

I promise.

-James.

Tears streaked his cheeks even more, as he jumped off his bed, pulling a pair of boxers from his drawer and running into the living room. Skidding to a stop, he looked around, hoping with all he had that the boy he confessed his love to was still in his house. Wait. I told James I loved him last night. He didn't say it back.

What have I done?

Kendall sat down in front of his fireplace, staring at the old wood mindlessly. He pulled his knees to his chest, holding back the sobs that were sure to wake up his mom and little sister. After twenty minutes of silent tears dripping off his face, and sniffles that made more noise than he could've imagined, he crawled to the couch, pulling a pillow to his face, and letting unconsciousness take over.

September 27th.

Kendall sat on the window sill, staring blankly at the darkness taking over the fall night. A sudden tap on his shoulder made him jump from his thoughts about a certain brunette who had taken up every thought in his mind. "Sweetie, why don't you come eat something?"

"I'm not hungry, mom."

Mrs. Knight sighed, sitting beside her son as he turned his face away, staring out into the distance. She placed a gentle hand on his knee, smiling sadly. "I know you miss James, honey."

Kendall shrugged, before silently putting his head into his arms, a single sob escaping his lips. "I miss him so much, mom."

His mother wrapped loving arms around her son, running a hand soothingly up and down his back, letting him cry out the depression he had held in for weeks. When his sobs had reduced to soft whimpers, she tilted his head up, wiping his reddened cheeks of his tears. "I t-told him I l-loved him, mom. He d-didn't even say it back. I made a huge m-mis-mistake." The sobs erupted again, the thought of his confession tearing his heart to pieces.

"Shh, just take a deep breath, honey." Kendall did just that, looking back at his mom. "You didn't make a mistake. You told him the truth. My guess is that he was just taken by surprise that you said it."

"He hasn't talked to me in weeks, mom. He doesn't want me anymore."

"Sweetie, listen to yourself."

"I'm sure he doesn't."

She sighed again, running a hand through his hair. "Do you still care about him, Kendall?" He nodded. "What does your heart tell you? Don't listen to what your mind is saying, what does your heart say?"

He smiled a soft smile. "My heart tells me that I love him. And that I'm being stupid about it."

"So don't tell yourself that he doesn't care about you. I'm more than positive that James is just busy with school, and that's why he hasn't been able to answer. Give him some time, okay? You'll give yourself another anxiety attack."

Kendall laughed, for the first time in weeks. "Thanks mom."

"That's what I'm here for, sweetie." She placed a gentle kiss on his forehead, standing back up. "Do you want something to eat?"

"Actually yeah, just give me a minute, okay? I have to do something."

"Take your time, honey."

Kendall approached the stairs leading towards his bedroom, when he stopped abruptly, turning around. "Hey mom?" He called towards the kitchen.

"Yes sweetie?""

I love you."

He could practically see the smile on her face. "I love you too, Kendall."

Kendall bolted up the stairs, dashing into his room, which he secretly shared with James during the week and was shared on weekends since they were kids, and closed the door behind him, locking it. Letting out a sigh, he walked towards his dresser, picking his phone up. Flipping it open, a smile plastered his face, as he stared at the two boys on the screen.

"James, stop that!"

Kendall sat in between James' legs on the couch in the basement, as Carlos and Logan continued an intense game of Call of Duty. The two completely ignored the fact that Kendall and James were being their usual lovey kicked and squirmed, laughing uncontrollably as James ran his hands up and down his sides, tickling his rib cage, smiling at Kendall's laugh. "No way, you're so cute when you're laughing like this."

He tickled Kendall again, a huge grin on his face at the melodic laugh that had escaped Kendall's lips. Feeling Kendall had enough, he rested his hands on the blonde's hips, resting his head on his shoulder.

"HA! I win, Logie! Stick that in your juice box and suck it!"

"Carlos, what are you even saying?"

"I don't know, but now I want a juice box. Logie, get me a juice box!"

Logan slapped a hand to his forehead, as Carlos ran over, tackling Logan to the floor. Logan looked up at the couch, then smiled, tapping Carlos on the shoulder, whispering to him. "Gimme your phone."

Carlos looked over at Kendall and James, staring at each other lovingly. He reached into his back pocket, pulled his phone out, handing it to Logan. Logan flipped it open, turning the camera on, snapping a picture as James leaned in, placing a gentle kiss to Kendall's cheek, as Kendall smiled his wide-toothed, dimpled smile.

Kendall smiled, scrolling through his contacts, pressing send when he reached the one he wanted. Growing disappointment swelled in his stomach when the call went straight to voicemail.

Hi, you've reached James! I'm sorry I'm not able to answer your call right now, but if you leave me a message and your name and number, I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as physically possible. Thanks! *beep*

James was always formal like that. Always had to be formal with everything. Kendall sighed, fighting back the tears. "Hey, James. It's..it's me. I completely forgot that you don't even have your phone, but I guess I just really had to hear your voice again. I miss you, and I just. I'm hoping that you're having a good time at school. And that, if…it makes you…h-happy, that you f-found someone that's making you happy."He swallowed back a sob, forcing a smile, and finishing. "I'm sorry I scared you away, James. So, I guess this is…goodbye." And with that, he hung up, tossing his phone on his bed, before falling to his knees on the floor, crumpling up and letting the cries take over.

Snap out of it. He's in New York, probably living with someone else, having more fun than you could ever give him. Get over it.

Who are you kidding? You'll never get over him. You're in love with him.

But still. He would've called.

He's just really busy. Trust your heart, Kendall, not your brain.

Sick of the voices in his head, he closed his eyes, and simply stopped thinking. No voices, no thoughts. Just silence. And that was the way he wanted it.

December 28th.

Kendall sat silently in the rain, staring at the cold breath that slipped through his lips. Sighing softly, he ran a hand through his wet hair, watching every few minutes as a car sped by. He watched a small figure from across the street, walking in his direction, wondering what person walks around in a freezing rain like this. You sit in the rain, dumbass. Don't go judging.

As the figure came into view, Kendall stared, probably getting his hopes up for nothing. The rain began pouring down more, making it almost impossible for him to see. He dropped his head into his hands, trying to shake the images burning in his mind. It's not him, Kendall. Stop it. You're setting yourself up for heartache.

"Kendall."

Kendall's head shot up, staring at the figure across the street, before jumping to his feet and running across the wet pavement. Getting honked at by a car, he stopped six feet away from the figure, making out it's features. "James. Wh-what are you doing here?"

Hazel eyes bored into him, as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. "I-I have a lot of explaining to do."

Kendall sighed, turning on his heels to walk towards his house. When James didn't follow, he looked over his shoulder. "Are you coming?"

"Where are we going?"

Kendall scoffed. "Some place we're not gonna get hypothermia."

James smiled, walking a few paces behind the blonde, taking deep breaths. Kendall held the door open for him, and walked in behind James, as they were both overcome with warmth. "Is your mom home?"

"She took Katie to visit my aunt. They won't be home until tomorrow night."

James nodded, following Kendall up to his room. They walked in, as Kendall walked to his drawer, pulling out a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt, throwing them at James. He then proceeded to pull out a pair for himself. "Here, you're probably frozen half to death."

After they had both changed and were seated comfortably on Kendall's bed, James looked at the blonde sitting next to him. "Kendall, I need to tell you something."

"You cheated on me, didn't you?"

"What?"

"James, if you did, I'm not mad at all. Disappointed…definitely. But hey, if you're happy, then I am too, I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I probably scared you away, and I'm s-"

"Kendall, shut up so I can tell you that I love you."

Kendall stopped his rambling, staring up at James anxiously, searching his face and eyes for any truth behind his words. Finding exactly what he'd been looking for, he looked down at his hands. "Y-you do?"

James sighed, taking one of Kendall's hands, rubbing small circles on the back of it with his thumb. "They took my computer away at school so I could focus on my music, so I couldn't even tell you then. But I'd rather have said it in person."

"Is that why you came back?"

"That. Plus I missed you. More than you can imagine."

Kendall smiled, resting his head on James' shoulder, a warm sense of relief washing over him. "So. Are you…going back?"

He felt James' body tense, and braced himself for the worst. "Nope. I'm not."

His head shot up, placing his hands on James' shoulders, shaking him lightly back and forth. "James, this was your dream! Don't give it up for me, please."

"I'm not giving it up. I'm staying with my dream."

"James, what're you.."

"Kendall, being away from you for three months made me realize how much I missed you. And how much I need you in my life. I dreaded getting out of bed every day because I didn't have any reminder of you besides a picture. And I needed to be with you."

James turned his body, cupping Kendall's face between his hands. Wiping away the stray tears that had escaped from those green eyes he loved, his placed a delicate kiss to Kendall's nose. "I love you, Kendall. And I'm positive of it."

Kendall then lost all sanity, tackling James to his bed, kissing all over his face and neck, earning an angelic laugh from James. "Well someone's happy."

"I thought I scared you away."

"Not at all. I was just…shocked. I didn't know how to react. Nobody ever told me they loved me before."

"And now someone has."

James smiled, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, holding him in place. Kendall leaned his forehead against James', closing the distance between them with a searing kiss. Their lips moved together, matching each other, like there has never been a more perfect fit.

Needing air, James pulled back, both of them panting quietly for air. He ran a hand through Kendall's soft blonde hair, down his back, sliding his hand under his sweatshirt, tracing gentle patterns against his skin. Kendall rested his head on the brunette's chest, comforted by the steady beating of his heart.

"I love you, James Diamond." he whispered.

"And I love you, Kendall Knight. Don't you ever forget that."

Kendall smiled, finally being lulled back to sleep by his favorite sound in the world. James placed a gentle kiss to his head, and drifted off into a sleep he had dreamt about for months, with the one he loved.

My first slash :) I was originally gonna have Kendall leave. But I thought that Kendall's always the strong one. So hey, why not switch it up! Reviews are wonderful. Feedback!