Early summer! You can feel the change in the air I thought I would go for a walk and enjoy the great day ahead. I could even walk to the beach. I needed to clear my head to think about what was going on in my life.
When I was a little girl playing with my friends we did not have a worry in the world nothing would bother us, I wish I could snap my fingers and go back to the days when all we did was have fun and lark about.
As I walked along I wondered about all the people walking past. Do they have the same problems as I do? I thought, surely no one else would be thinking as I was if their father was going to find a husband for them. I hate the fact that my father wants me to marry me off so young I think 18 years old is too young to get married though my friends and family don't seem to think so though.
I want to do more with my life I want to explore the rest of the country I want to see what the world has to offer. I know I should want to get married and have a loving family like so many of my friends even my sister, but do I want this before I have experienced anything of life? I could not make up my mind.
I know what type of gentleman my father would choose. He would be interested in someone who is rich, old money and has a title. An aristocrat would be just right for him but would I think he is suitable for me? My father thinks the younger I am the better as the gentleman would find me suitable.
I don't want to marry someone just to look pretty standing next to them I don't want someone doing everything for me I don't want to have maids and chefs, I want to be able to do stuff for myself, I must be the only girl I know who thinks this way, so what does this mean? Was I born different? All my friends want to live this life and want to marry money and to have the life of the aristocrat's wife to be taken care of.
As I got to the beach it was full up with people in their bathing suits enjoying the first day of summer, splashing about in the sea lying on the hot sand like they have not got a care in the world. I walked along the water's edge letting the waves lap at my feet, longing to invite me in to wash all my troubles away.
I started to think about when my sister Emily got married. She said how it was the best thing that could ever happen to her, that now her life has a purpose; to look after her husband. She was ready from a young girl to get married I just don't see myself in that life I know I want to get married one day I have dreamed about what my husband would look like, but, I was hoping that day would not come so early in my life.
I would not mind so much if I had a say in who I was going to marry. My father, being the head of the bank, is thinking that I should marry someone like him who works for him someone he knows very well who would have money. As soon as I knew that my father would choose my husband I gave up on dreaming about who I would marry because I knew my idea of a perfect gentleman was not my father's idea of a perfect gentleman. So, I thought to myself, I should embrace reality no matter how hard it is to deal with.
I was walking and reached the nice warm sand. It felt so nice on the soles of my feet warming them after the cold waves have been teasing them. I looked at the beautiful sky and it hit me the time had gone so fast, it was getting late; I had been walking on the beach most of the day. I had to get home to help mother set up for tea,' mother will be worried as I have been out all this time' I said to myself. So, with much regret, I left the warm sand and splashing waves to head off home.
The walk home seemed to take a long time, but, I got home in time to help mother and I was glad to notice that I made it home before father got home from work. He did not like it if I was out so long on my own.
I laid the place settings at the dining room table, just as father came home from work. He hung up his hat and coat, walked in greeted mother with a kiss on the cheek as he did every day and he took the news paper from under his arm and sat in his comfy chair to catch up on the daily news until tea was served.
We all sat round the dining room table about to eat, when someone banged very loudly on the front door. My father got up angrily at being disturbed at this hour, he opened the door and with that Emily fell through the door crying. Father just caught her before she fell to the floor. He brought her in to the front room and sat her down.
I ran to get her a brandy, to calm her down, she was shaking she was so upset. We waited for her to calm down so she could tell us what had happened but we waited and waited and still nothing. 'EMILY' I shouted at her to get her attention. It worked 'what's wrong? What has happened? 'I asked.
'It's Charles he has been in an accident', she cried out
'Where is he? What happened?' father tried to push her on.
'He was in the stables getting ready to saddle up and something spooked the horse and threw Charles back off. He hit the floor the horse tried to run and it stamped on his leg' Emily said trying to keep calm.
I remember Charles said he was going hunting this evening.
'Where is he?' I asked her again
'He is at the hospital, l I did not know where else to go. I need to get to the hospital to see him!' she explained
'Esme, go get the coach hand, tell him to get the horses ready. We will all go to the hospital,' my father said to me,
On the way to the hospital, Emily calmed down enough to control herself.
We entered the ward to see lots of doctors hovering around someone's bed. We did not know it was Charles' bed. We walked over to see what was happening. We just wanted to know how he was doing. By the time we got to his bed a lot of the doctors were leaving. Only one remained.
It was hard to see Charles like that. He did not look like himself; he looked weak and helpless. The one doctor that stayed by his bed introduced himself as "Dr Cullen". He informed us of Charles' condition and how he hoped with bed rest and a few days in the hospital he should be able to go back home.
So, that was good news, just a broken leg and bruising.
Bad news was that I could not take my eyes off of Dr Cullen!
He was like no one I have ever seen before. I looked in to his eyes and I knew from that moment, when our eyes met, I knew I wanted to be with him.
I could not see a ring so I presumed, like me, he must be looking for the perfect one.