Disclaimer: All characters belong to Tamora Pierce.
A/N: I hope everybody likes this. It's kind of romance while also being really really angsty. It's the way Kel really is without her Yamani mask on. The real her. I really liked this after I'd written it. but then again, it's angst. And I love angst! ENJOY!
The Diary of the REAL Keladry
December 12
456 H.E.
Neal kissed me again today. Everything is so confusing.
Yuki has got back from the Yamani Islands. We have been talking and I have discovered we don't have as much in common as we used to.
Neal is still my best friend, no matter what happens. He says he loves me. Love confuses me. I thought he was my best friend. Nothing more. And I used to be right, didn't I? I don't think so any more.
Cleon is still following me. I don't really want a stalker. Cleon says he loves me too. I don't know what to do.
Yuki is in love with Neal, she has told me that. I don't think Neal likes Yuki very much.
Neal asked me to marry him. I didn't answer. He says if I don't marry him, then he might ask Yuki, even though he doesn't like- or love- her that much.
Lord Raoul keeps asking me to joust. I swear, I have so many bruises on myself that I'm nearly completely purple!
I hide behind my Yamani mask, bottling up my emotions. I use my mask so much; it's become a way of life. I don't know what I'd do without it.
Life is so difficult to lead.
When I started training, I thought the life of a knight would be all exciting adventures and glorifying battles. I guess I was wrong about that as well.
Never had I imagined when I was young, an noble distaff of Tortall, that I would one day be tangled up in politics and court affairs.
I never imagined hat I would have... this sort of relationship with my best friend. I never imagined I would be having relationships with any of my friends.
I planned on getting my shield, and do nothing apart from that. How naïve I was.