One request for Martin and Danny talking about the shooting at a stop light. I hope you like it.
Martin would never admit to being scared of cars. Well, not the car itself but the doors and the seat belt, and not being in control outside of the steering wheel. The thought made him nauseous to the point where he took the bus to work, and he dreaded having to leave the office.
Danny never commented on the fact that he put he hardly wore his seat belt, or that he knew Martin had to take a deep breath before he enter the car, and seemed panicked the whole drive. In exchange, Martin didn't say anything about Danny becoming trigger happy and irrational at times.
It was a miracle that Jack let them out in the field at all. Sure the in house therapist had cleared them, but in the end it was ultimately Jack's decision if they were okay or not. Most of the time they were only talking with friends or family of the missing people, but there was always a chance of danger whenever they went out.
It wasn't until they ended up stopped right where the shooting had happened that they had to take notice of their problems. It started when Martin's hands fumbled for the seat belt. He was breathing heavy, and too disoriented by fear to actually do anything.
Danny saw the potential danger in the situation, and put his hand on Martin's arm to keep him grounded.
"We're not there." Danny said calmly trying to fight back his own panic.
"I know that, I just..." Martin's hands were still shaking.
The road was empty right now, which was a good thing. The light had turned green again and they still hadn't moved.
"You're fine."
Martin sighed, what sounded like a gasp, bring air into his burning lungs. He hadn't realized that he hadn't been breathing. His hands were still shaking and he was starting to look pale.
"Better?"
He didn't even try to lie, shaking his head.
Danny kept trying to talk to him, and get him to calm down, when Martin suddenly shook him off and all but dove from the car. Danny was about to yell, until he heard the sounds of his partner vomiting. He got out of the car as well to find Martin standing back up and wiping his face.
"I'm sorry I just..."
"You want to talk about it?"
"If I didn't talk to the in house..."
"I'm just saying." Danny interrupted what was going to be a Fitzgerald temper tantrum as he moved to lean on the car next to where Martin was. "We were both in the shooting, and we both are still suffering from the aftermath."
"I don't want to..."
"I really thought you died. By the time I pulled you out of the car, you were already bleeding and barely coherent. I spent your whole recovery worried about you."
Martin didn't say anything in response. He he was looking out at seemingly nothing. However, Danny had know Martin for awhile. He could tell that he was no longer as upset, if anything he looked mad.
"You can't just not talk about it."
"If you were so worried than where were you?" Martin mumbled so low, that if Danny hadn't been listening closely, he probably would of missed it.
"What?"
"You said you were worried, but you never came to visit, not once." His voice was tinged with bitterness and had a snap at the end. "The whole time I thought you were dead, up until I saw you in the office when I got back. Everyone was telling me that you were fine, and that you only go a bump of the head but you never showed up. I just assumed that you died and that they weren't telling me."
"Why wouldn't they tell you if I was? You know Jack wouldn't hold back that kind of information."
"Because the nurses said that when I woke up I was hysterical and they had to keep me sedated most of the time." He shrugged. "I would of been fine if I just saw you once, or if you just called. I know a lot of people don't like hospitals. I just wanted to know you were alive. I acted slow when it came to turning the car and trying to get out of there, I didn't want you to die because I was too scared to move..." His voice trailed off before he was completely quiet.
Danny's eyes widen. He had regretted never going to see Martin, but when he saw him in the office he looked perfectly fine and didn't think anything of it afterwards.
"It wasn't your fault, you acted as quickly as you could. I came out unharmed."
"I didn't know that."
Danny sighed resting his hand on Martin's shoulder.
"I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I can't make this up to you."
"I was having nightmares of you blaming me for your death." It looked more like Martin was pouting more than anything. Danny let himself smirk at the others antics.
"I really am sorry."
"Then stop laughing."
"Martin I can't take you serious when you're pouting, but I do mean it, I am sorry."
Martin rolled eyes. "I'm not talking about it anymore than I just did." He huffed getting into the car.
Danny chalked it up to the Fitzgerald code of not talking about their feelings. Even Martin's dad held the best of poker faces when in intense situations. Martin wasn't as good as the rest of his family at pretending not to have feelings. His face always gave him away and he refused to talk about the subject that was bothering him.
The fact that Danny got him to talk this much was a God send. He had a feeling that Martin was going to open up more soon and took the long way back to the office. He know it's a long shot but he want to be able to talk to the other man about this so they can both start to heal.
Fin