Disclaimer: Criminal Minds is owned by CBS. I own nothing but my imagination. 'Stuck Like Glue' is the property of Sugarland.
Stuck Like Glue
~This is my entry for the CCOAC Theme Song Challenge. My prompts were Penelope Garcia and the song 'Stuck Like Glue' by Sugarland.
Penelope Garcia was aware of the loud clacking noise her heels were making as she walked through the empty bullpen and up the metal stairs to her boss's office. Pausing in front of his door, she wondered what his summons was about. Racking her brain, she ran down the list of people she had pissed off recently with her hacking skills and her budget re-appropriations but, for the life of her, she couldn't think of anyone who was angry enough with her to cross her and tattle to Hotch. Those kinds of people usually found themselves in a world of electronic hurt.
Shaking her head, as if to clear it, Penelope took a deep breath and knocked on the door.
"Enter," she heard her boss call out, so she opened the door and stepped through the doorway. She was surprised to find him sitting in one of the lounge chairs in the back of his office sipping from, what appeared to be, a glass of scotch; then she looked to the left and found Dave sitting in the other chair with a matching glass of spirits and she understood. The team had come back from a particularly horrifying case involving small children and a pedophile ring and she knew the two men were unwinding from it.
"Garcia, what are you still doing here?" Hotch asked, frowning a little. "I sent the team home hours ago."
"I stayed to perform some upgrades on my system and I got the email that you wanted to see me, but I didn't mean to interrupt, I can come back later," she told him.
"No, come in and have a seat," Hotch said, gesturing to the sofa. Since Dave already knew what the meeting was about, he didn't feel compelled to leave.
"Want one?" He asked Penelope, holding up his glass of liquor.
She really didn't want one; she hated the taste of scotch and she didn't like the way it made her feel but there was no way she was going to pass up the opportunity to bond with the upper echelon of the BAU, so she nodded as she sat down.
Dave poured her a rather large shot of the amber liquid, handed it to her and sat back down. "Salut," he said as he clinked glasses with her.
Garcia mumbled something under her breath and then took a sip of the scotch. She could tell right away that it was a good brand, since it didn't feel like fire sliding down her throat and she liked the way it made her feel warm inside.
"What did you say before you drank?" Hotch asked, a small smile pulling at his mouth.
"Love without fear, live without care," she told him. "It was something my father always said before he took the first drink of his beer after work and it stuck with me."
Both men smiled and took sips of their own drinks; trust their quirky technical analyst to have a wacky toast.
Garcia took another sip and then asked, "Why am I here, sir? Is it about the software I installed on everyone's laptop yesterday? Because I had no idea that it was a classified military program. A friend gave it to me and I thought-"
"This isn't about a software issue, Garcia, although I'm sure we'll be revisiting that issue in the near future," Hotch said dryly. "No, I simply wanted to congratulate you on your job offer from the NSA."
"How did you hear about that?" She asked, astounded. She'd told exactly one person about the offer, mainly because she was planning on turning it down.
"I don't know if you know this, but I am the unit chief," he said sarcastically as he finished his scotch. "Information has a way of getting to me."
"JJ told you, didn't she?" The tech asked rhetorically. "I should've known better than to confide in the woman my boss is sleeping with!"
"Garcia!" Hotch exclaimed as his best friend choked on his drink.
"What?" Dave sputtered, "You and JJ? When? How?"
"Never mind all of that, we were trying to keep our relationship under the radar."
"Oh man, I can totally see it," Dave said with smirk as he stared into space.
"Quit playing videos of me and JJ in your head, old man," Hotch snapped.
Dave shook his head slightly, as if to clear it. "Sorry Hotch, but wow! You and JJ are like a match made in heaven. Tell me, does she leave little press release notes for you letting you know how good you are in bed?"
"Eeeuuuwwwww Dave! That's my best friend you're talking about! And my boss!" Garcia shrieked, rattling the panes of glass in the windows. "And you," she said, pointing Hotch. "Why are you still keeping it a secret? Are you ashamed to be with her? Because if you are, then God help you because I'll-"
"Garcia!" Hotch interrupted loudly, "I am NOT ashamed to be with JJ! We're keeping our relationship under wraps because I'm trying to get her back to the BAU and I don't want anything to interfere with that."
"Really? You are?" Garcia squealed. "That's wonderful!"
"Yes, well, that's not why I asked to meet with you," he said, trying to get back on track. "Again, I wanted to congratulate you on the job with the NSA."
"Thanks, sir, but I'm not taking it."
"Why not?" Hotch asked, "It's a lot more money, you can work from home and, bonus, you won't be staring at images of dead bodies all day. You would be a fool not to take it!"
Penelope narrowed her eyes at him, "Well I guess I'm a fool then! I guess I thought I was needed around here, but apparently I'm not!"
"That's not what I said," Hotch said as he tried to backpedal. He shot a look at his best friend, but Dave was too busy trying to wrap his head around the idea of him and JJ to be of much help. "I was simply saying that the NSA job would be much less stressful for you. I know Kevin's been after you to get a farm somewhere and start living the simple life and this job could do that for you. You could work from wherever you happen to be and, from what I understand, it won't be a nine to five, forty hour per week job, they would just use you when they need you and the rest of the time would be yours."
"How did you know about Kevin wanting to get a farm?"
Hotch's eyes widened, he'd given away too much. "I can't say," he said, not looking at her.
"I am going to have to sew JJ's mouth shut," the tech goddess said and got a loud snort from Dave.
"I don't think Hotch would appreciate that," he mumbled and then shut up when he felt the evil eye from his best friend and boss on him.
"And the farm thing?" Penelope continued, "That was never going to happen. I get hives when I'm away from the city for more than five days. Plus, can you imagine me taking care of sheep? Milking cows? I don't know what kind of fantasy my boy toy is running in his mind, but it is not a shared one."
"Still, Penelope, you should consider taking the job," Hotch told her.
"Do you…do you not want me here anymore?" She asked as she felt her heart begin to tear apart. "I know my methods…hell, my whole personality is unorthodox, but-"
"Of course I want you here, Garcia! Are you kidding? I don't know what I would do without you!" Her boss told her.
"Then why are you so hell-bent on me taking this job?"
Hotch sighed, "It's been a tough year, Penelope; the cases have been more brutal, we lost JJ to the DoD, Emily died, Reid is sick and hiding it and you…well, I've noticed that you frown a lot more. Coming back here after a case and seeing your smile always managed to take away some of the awfulness of what we do, but I hardly ever see it anymore. I don't want you to lose yourself to this job, Penelope, I don't want the horror to overtake you and if I have to lose you in order to save you, then that's what I'll do."
Garcia stared at the floor for a moment and when she looked up, both men could see tears glistening in her eyes. "I appreciate your concern, sir, really I do, but I belong here." Seeing that her boss was about to argue with her, she plowed ahead. "You're right, I don't smile as much anymore but I haven't lost total faith in humanity yet. I need to be here Hotch; I need to know that what I do makes a difference…an immediate difference in the world. Sure, I could hack and program for the NSA and maybe, in two or three years, my work might help catch some bad guys, but it wouldn't be satisfying for me and I would burn out quicker there than I ever would here."
Both men could understand that; wasn't that why neither of them had climbed any higher in the ranks of the FBI?
"Besides, this team is my family; it's the one place where people love me for me and vice versa," she said. "So like it or not, you and me, baby, we're stuck like glue."
Hotch smiled, "Okay Garcia, I get it, but I need you to promise me that you'll come to me if things ever start getting to be too much for you. You can't let this place, or the cases, dull your spark."
"I promise, sir," she said as she set her empty glass down. "Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I have to get back to tending my babies." She stood up and headed for the door. "And if either of you decide to imbibe anymore tonight, come and find me and I'll give you a ride home…well, not you, sir," she said to Dave. "You live too far out of town, but I'll take you back to my place and you can sleep there." With that, she left the office and the two men could hear her heels clacking their way back to her lair.
"You know? It might be worth having another drink if it meant getting to spend the night at Casa de Garcia. I imagine sleeping there would be somewhat like falling asleep in an amusement park funhouse," Dave quipped.
Hotch snorted and then turned serious again, "Thank God she's not taking the job."
"What would you have done if you had actually managed to change her mind?" Dave asked.
The unit chief shook his head, "I have no idea, the thought of the BAU without Garcia is frightening but I had to at least try to get her to take it. I'm not kidding, Dave; she's changed in the last year and the change is not for the better. I don't want this job to kill her soul like it has so many others."
"Then it's our job to make sure that doesn't happen," Dave said firmly. "We've all had a shitty year and I think we have to try harder to make things a little more fun for the team when we can."
"You're right, and we will, but for right now I'm just thankful that we aren't losing her," Hotch said with relief evident in his voice.
"Amen to that, brother." Dave agreed and, with that, the two men toasted their quirky technical goddess.