AN: This is my first fanfiction so I am sorry if it is not up to the standards of the other excellent writers on here, it's just an idea I have had since the episode aired. This is just a little drabble that would have been an extra scene in episode 6x20 "Rage", it would occur just before Kensi goes undercover as 'Sage' with Callen. So please leave a review if you have time, it would be gladly appreciated, thank you!
I own nothing sadly, all credits to Mr Brennan
Kensi's POV
As I walk out of the firing range, Deeks' statement is stuck in my head. What does he mean by 'for all of our kids sake'? Like we haven't even spoke about kids at all, for gods sake, we haven't even said those 3 important words. There's no doubt in my mind that I love Deeks, and what surprises me is that, that thought doesn't make me want to run for the hills. I think I've known for a long time that Deeks would be someone special to me, ever since the white t-shirt, red shorts and black socks, and that styled by pillow hair. But the thought of kids is scary to me. And now I have to go on this undercover op with Callen as 'Sage' the hot biker chick, when all I can really think about is my partner/boyfriend back in the firing range. So without me even realising and swiftly turn on my heels and head back to my safe haven. Grabbing the door handle, I am shocked by what I see in front of me.
Deeks POV
I need her to be safe, I need my Kensi to be safe. It's hard when I'm out in the field with her but when I'm not by her side, that's a whole other question. Yes, I know she is very capable of looking after herself and I do trust Callen, but there's just no hope about not worrying when the love of my life is out there. I wonder if she noticed my statement earlier, because I do, I see us married with kids running around chasing after Monty all the time. Then my dark, broken and twisted mind warps that happy and delightful image into a future where I'm alone without my girl, my life, because she was killed on this undercover op. The image crushes me and my knees buckle, leaving me curled up on the floor, with my knees pulled into my chest and trying not to let the tears flow.
Kensi's POV
I stand frozen in place, captured by what I am seeing. He's there, hunched on the floor with a waterfall of tears streaming down his beautiful face. I need to be next to him, so as silently as possible I open the door to ease my everything through this pain.
"D...Deeks, hey, h..hey what's wrong?" I struggle to say whilst crouching down next to him. He looks up at me with his glazed over, startling baby blues and whispers out those three words that I've struggled to say this entire time.
Deeks' POV
Through my sobs, I hear the door to the firing range creek open, but I'm not worried who it is because I can recognise that scent every time. Sunshine and gunpowder. I try to stop the flood of tears but it is useless, so as she walks over and sits down next to me.
"D...Deeks, hey, h..hey what's wrong?" She struggles to say this and I know it is hurting her seeing me like this. I now know the time is right, that phrase is what I need to say for the sake of my sanity and possibly some dignity if Callen or Sam would ever see the footage from the range. I turn to her beautiful mismatched eyes that are full of worry.
"I love you" it's just a whisper but I hear the sharp intake of her breath when I uttered those words. She cocks her head slightly to the side waiting for me to continue. Gathering up some strength and intertwine our fingers, and whisper again "I love you".
Kensi's POV
"I love you" his words are playing over and over in my head, I'm trying to process it all and he knows I'm having an inside battle as he starts to run circles into the back of my hand. I think I sat staring at him for some time, before I muster up the courage to move. I lean forward and pull his head into my chest to allow him to carry on sobbing. After a good 5 minutes, his tears seem to have ceased but he's still hanging on for dear life. "I'm going to be okay Deeks, Callen's there with me the entire time, and I will be armed so there's no need to worry". I know I'm avoiding saying it back so I clear my throat, "and Deeks, you know I love you, right?"
Deeks' POV
She said it, she actually said it. I remove my head from the crook of her neck to see her shirt stained from my tears but I'm more concern over what my partner just said. It takes me a while to process it but my girlfriend actually loves me back! So just like that day on the ice rink, I grab the back of her neck, pulling her lips towards mine and kissing her with all the passion and love I can pour out. I pull back and stare at her swollen lips and shortness of breath, and I have the hugest grin on my face. She leans her forehead against mine and whispers, "I will always be safe, partner"