... I can only hate. I run and I hate. There's nothing I can do, because being weak won't do anything.. and this is because I hate. (Re-written)
I own nothing. Simple.
Because I Hate
--x Chapter One: I Run Into My Own Darkness x--
It was painful; so painful that I squeezed my eyes shut and forced my body on. I ran on; I ran so much I felt my lungs tighten and burn, my legs numb and body aching like the hell I was so used to. I felt my world spin as the world started to fade. But I made myself run on... because I hate. This is my punishment for everything I have done. I make myself run until I'm seemingly on the edge of death. The bliss I could never deserve... Darkness found its way into my vision once more, and first all I could see were shapes. Then shadows.. then my world went black as the familiar sensations filled my senses and I complied with a smile and a sigh. I thought about how I deserved to live.. to not be happy. But, instead, I merely punish myself.. not a generous repentment process, is it? I felt my body hit the ground as I drifted into the land of shadows. Nothing had ever been so cold. I noted this as my body and conciousness faded, leaving my mind alone as everything but it shut down from the stress.
Arms wrapped around my body. They carried me. I couldn't force myself to wake up. I was in my own world. I was gone. I was really out of touch with everything, especially reality and myself. I could hear them, feel them, but I couldn't see them.. or even speak to them... give them a sign I'm alive. But, in all actuality, I like being here. It's nice.. what I don't deserve. In fact, I hope I never wake up. And yet, I can feel a lifting sensation in my body; I'm stirring.. No. Must you take away my happiness? I'm floating now, out of the dark fog, but I try to grasp onto the dreamy sense I had. Nothing could ever give me back the ecstasy and emotions that ran through me in that state, and barely concious, I felt myself lifted once again into the terrible place I call home, but it's mostly known as life. Or reality, whichever you preferred. I hated it anyways. Just like I hate everything else..
I open my eyes. Their green color looked around the room, scanning every detail. It was obviously someone's house. Crimson walls; dents from punches; I'm on a cerise couch with a few tears in it. It is basically plain with wooden floors. I then realize that there is a blanket over me. I snuggle into it more, basking in the memory of the world I had almost claimed. I then sighed, my apple orbs still scanning the room I remained in. I looked around the room, my perspective and vanishing point changing with every small twist, turn, and shake of my aching head. It was then I felt the throbbing in my skull, and my eyes narrowed, unpleased with the result of yesterday's repentment. Caught and aching. Not a very pleasant thing, but I knew I deserved the aching. But the being caught? Please, give me one break in this black hole of life.
"I miss it." I muttered, unaware of the stare of someone else in the room, though I slightly felt the prescence.
"Miss what?" I looked over.
"Knuckles. Whaa-- what am I doing here?"
"We found you unconcious."
" We..? "
"Oh..." he blushed. "Me and Rouge." I managed a weak smile.
"Congratulations." he smirked.
"Thanks."
"Whatever.. " he opened his mouth to speak, but as if on cue, the bat girl herself walked in, beautiful as ever. Not that I myself thought so.
"So, how did you end up like that?"
"I was training. I got really tired, but I was too lazy to go home." Knuckles nodded.
"Yeah, that's what I thought from the way you weren't breathing very well. But why were you training?"
"I need to be stronger." I continued with this little lie, hoping my 'friends' would buy it.
"But you're already reall--" I cut her off.
"I need to be stronger." I then repeated.
"Hmm.. alright, but just be more careful."
"Aa." I tried to stand, but I fell back onto the couch.
"Don't move too much. Just rest." I heard Rouge say as I started to fall asleep.
"Wow.." I yawned. "You've gotten.. a lot.." another stifled yawn. "..nicer." I then fell into my bliss. My darkness. And yet all I could recall is the hatred I felt even for them.. though it wasn't as strong as it was for the others.
--x To Be Continued x--
Yes, it's being re-written and improved. You may ask why. Because this story was actually only written to vent, so I put no real effort into it. Now I'm re-doing most of it, aka adding to it and changing, as well as answering many things that were left unanswered. A lot of changes will be made. Sorry for those who hated it, even the new version, but I want to make it live up to AaB ?(now AaB II) standards. Love you guys, and read and review if you'd like. But I'm grounded, so I may not be able to get the next chap. out so easily. I'll start/finish it now. More details later as I think of what to do with this story.