Author's Note: Hello everybody! I'm here to announce my latest multi-chapter fic, The Scintillating Proposal. It will be my 2013 project, and as a resolution, I had vowed to start writing a story which I will update in a definite amount of time, which is every other week. Sadly, I have to announce the putting on hiatus of my other multi-chapter DMHG fic, Caramel Frappuccino. No worries, I simply plan on putting it on hiatus while I rewrite and reupload it. For now however, it will be my main project alongside My Symphony Soldier. As for my OC fic Miss Van Doren, I am yet to decide what its fate will be, but it will most definitely not be abandoned. The Scintillating Proposal will debut in a week, so watch out for that!
This is a funny song-fic that came into my consciousness while jamming to my playlists and it was just too funny to pass up. I hope it's as absurdly hilarious written as it was in my mind (which resulted to my grinning in public places like a loony in love). Not to mention I suck at writing humor. You know, things alwas seem funnier in our minds, right? I have at least another chapter in mind, but this would suffice for now. Leave reviews to tell me what you think! Also, I realize the time frame doesn't really fit with the song choice and all that, but what the hex, right?
Disclaimer: Queen Jo owns the characters, and the artists own their respective songs. I'd kill to see the actors of HP jam to them though. :/
Everyone knew Headmaster Dumbledore had his crazy ideas. But no one really believed he was that crazy as to suggest what he was announcing at the breakfast table at the moment. "Starting this Friday, all students will be participating in a mandatory Karaoke Night! Karaoke Night will happen thirty minutes after Friday dinners, and you will be expected to come back to the dining hall which will then be prepared for the performances."
Whispers erupted, mostly sounding like, "Carry-okay what?"
The muggle-borns fought the urge to groan in fear of being asked to explain. But seriously, Karaoke Night at Hogwarts?
"This is part of our new program to promote House Unity, and we will assign who will be performing. Expect cross-house groupings or pairings. And once you're tasked to perform, there's simply no means of saying no. Or at least, there will be, but you'll find it hard to do so. Memos will be sent to the performers, and they will be informed on whether they will be performing in pairs, groups, or even individually." Dumbledore was smiling happily, as if this was his greatest idea yet. "Carry on with your breakfast then." He called out, sitting on his chair, and began conversing with the other professors.
But the whispers remained undeterred, and people were already planning means of escape.
Sadly, when Dumbledore meant something, he means it. And he definitely meant it when he said there was no means of escape.
Ron screamed in horror when he saw the piece of parchment on his four-poster. Harry scrambled off his, wand drawn, ready to protect his best mate from spiders. "What is it Ron?" he asked, panicked at the sight of the pale Weasley.
"Go check yours, quickly!" Harry ran over to his bed, and sure enough, a similar parchment lay in his tangled sheets, disturbed when he scrambled over to Ron.
Written in exactly the same fashion on both parchments were the words:
Performers for Friday Night's Karaoke:
Harry Potter – Gryffindor, sixth year
Ron Weasley – Gryffindor, sixth year
Neville Longbottom – Gryffindor, sixth year
Draco Malfoy – Slytherin, sixth year
Blaise Zabini – Slytherin, sixth year
Feel free to find any common free time before curfew to practice, as you will be performing as a group. Half of your house points will be removed from your respective houses in the event that any of you refuse to perform. You are the only ones who can see these conditions, and are now charmed to be refrained from telling anybody else of them. If you decide to risk losing your House points however, it will be made public of whose fault it is. We look forward to your performance!
Signed,
Headmaster Dumbledore
Dumbledore's signature fell on the boys like a dark shadow as they read the conditions. "Bloody hell!" Ron shouted again, waking Neville who fell off his four-poster with a thud. As he rubbed his head in pain, Harry shoved Neville's parchment into his face. Neville read the paper groggily, sobering up quickly when he spotted his name on the list. By the time he finished reading, his eyes were as wide as saucers. Luckily, none of their other roommates were present, as it appears that all three were nearly late for breakfast. Scrambling frantically to get ready, the three Gryffindors prayed that their Slytherin 'groupmates' would rather choose to lose house points. Because they sure as hell wouldn't back out from this, even if their names were on the line. But they'd much rather do it without the company of the Slytherins.
"MY FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!" Draco Malfoy shouted into the empty Slytherin common room. Well, empty aside from him and Blaise Zabini, who was sitting on one of the arm rests of the couches, grinning as he read the parchment. Compared to Draco, he looked unfazed. "I have to talk to Professor Snape. I'm sure he will do something about this." Draco was fuming, stomping out of the door before Blaise could reply.
"But it could be fun." Blaise's thoughts remained unheard. He smiled lopsidedly and followed Draco.
All five boys reached the doors to the Great Hall at the same time, casting each other wary looks before slipping inside. Draco marched directly to where Professor Snape was seated, catching Dumbledore's eye as he walked towards the Professor's table.
When everyone present noticed the entrance of the five boys, whispers as wild as the previous morning erupted, with snickers and goggles heard from here and there. Ron blushed and rushed to Hermione's side, ducking behind a platter full of fruits. Harry followed suit, and Neville, poor Neville, stumbled in his haste to sit at the Gryffindor table while trying to remain undetected. All their efforts were in vain however, as practically everyone saw them anyway. "What's going on?" Neville nervously muttered, grabbing for his pumpkin juice.
"Oh, nothing. Except maybe that there are posters all over the school announcing who Friday's performers are." Ginny replied, grinning at her brother.
Harry's breath hitched.
"Posters?" Ron squeaked.
"Yeah, there were about a hundred from the Tower to the Great Hall. And definitely more around Hogwarts. Didn't you guys notice?" Hermione asked, failing miserably to hide the amusement in her eyes.
Harry gulped. "We must have been too busy rushing down here to notice."
Fred and George nudged each other and started laughing. "We thought you boys were practicing."
Neville blanched.
"I'm sorry Draco, but I cannot do anything about it." Snape muttered before Draco could even open his mouth to speak.
"Ah, look who we have here." Dumbledore smiled at the two Slytherins at the Professor's table. "I trust you have received the memo, Mr. Malfoy, Mr. Zabini?"
Blaise grinned and acknowledged the headmaster with a small bow. "Yes, Headmaster Dumbledore."
Dumbledore nodded, satisfied. "I trust you've began talking with the other boys about your performance then?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
Draco's lips were pursed, and he looked just about ready to scream for his father.
"We were just about to, Professor." Blaise smiled, nudging Draco who gave a stiff nod.
The two boys started walking towards the Slytherin table, with Draco muttering all imaginable profanities he could. Blaise stopped by the Gryffindor table on the way, earning stares from, well, everyone. "See you guys by the lake later." He grinned, giving Neville a hearty pat on the back. Neville spluttered out the food he was chewing on, and Ron and Harry sported looks of deer caught in the headlights.
"Sure." Neville croaked out.
"Great, we can all talk then." Blaise remained jovial as ever, and began dragging Draco to their table.
"Merlin help us." Ron wailed.
Friday Night
"I wonder what they practiced." Ginny mused, looking around the now transformed hall for any signs of the five boys. The place where the professor's table usually was had been transformed into a stage, complete with lights charmed to act as spotlights. The house tables were missing, and the chairs were arranged in a way that they were facing towards the stage. The whole hall was dim, save for the charmed ceiling, which still shimmered with stars. The professors were sitting at the front row, and even Snape had made an appearance. Hermione wondered if any sort of threat was involved.
"Me too. I've barely seen the boys this week. They were probably too caught up practicing the whole week. I can't imagine how they managed to get along with Malfoy and Zabini though."
Earlier that week
"You want to sing WHAT?" Draco yelled, almost pushing Blaise to the lake when his arms flailed in shock.
Neville put up his hands in surrender. "It was just an idea!"
"What about O Holy Night?" Ron piped up.
"Great idea, Weasel, if it was Christmas. Which, it's not. And it's not great, even if it wasn't Christmas." Draco muttered.
"Well, since you're so great, why don't you choose a song to sing?" Harry calmly interrupted.
Blaise grinned. "Yeah, you choose a song, mate."
Draco made a face. "Let Saint Potter figure out what we should sing."
Harry smirked in a fashion almost rival to Malfoy's. "Okay, Draco, you said so. Let's sing something Muggle."
This time, when Draco's hands flew to his face in horror, Blaise avoided his flailing limbs just enough to be sent splashing into the lake.
"Maybe they didn't." Ginny snickered knowingly.
Luna Lovegood fluttered by and sat beside the two girls. "Mind if I join you?" she asked.
"Not at all." Hermione smiled and Ginny nodded enthusiastically. Luna smiled and took her seat beside Ginny.
Without a word, Pansy Parkinson and a gaggle of Slytherin girls sat a few chairs to their left, and the three girls exchanged surprised glances. Lavender and the Patil twins were situated somewhere by the front, tittering excitedly. As the hall slowly filled up, Hermione realized that practically all the fifth to seventh years in all Houses were successfully herded in. Younger years still had an earlier curfew, so they weren't there. Hermione was pretty sure some of them snuck in nevertheless.
Even the Weasley twins were present, their mischievous grins looking hell-bent on watching their brother get embarrassed. Colin Creevey wandered in the hall, camera set to capture what could possibly be the beginning of the most embarrassing photos ever taken in Hogwarts. A huge group of Hufflepuffs sat together in a corner, as if hoping that their clustering would prevent them from suffering the same fate as the five boys who were yet to make an appearance. The Ravenclaws, being quite amiable with other students of different houses, were scattered among the audience, like Luna and Padma. Hermione noted that if there were consequences for not showing up to Karaoke Night, they'd find out if someone dared to not arrive tonight. Mostly everyone came because of their morbid curiosity anyway.
Dumbledore clapped his hands to capture everyone's attention and stood up, his silhouette the only thing discernible in the dimmed room. "Everybody, please settle down. Tonight, as all you may know, we are going to witness the performance of five students from Gryffindor and Slytherin, Mr. Potter, Mr. Weasley, Mr. Longbottom, Mr. Malfoy, and Mr. Zabini. I have credible sources that they have prepared well for this, and I am simply too excited to see their performance to say anymore. Without further ado, let's start!" with those words, the whole hall became pitch dark, and someone shrieked in surprise. A collective chuckle rippled through the audience.
Five spotlights turned on onstage, and the outlines of five boys were seen. Hermione bit back a gasp as she took in their appearances. All five boys had their backs turned on the audience. Girls started screaming. Ginny rolled her eyes and made a face while Luna seemingly, for once, snapped out of the trance-like state she was always in.
Ron was the one on the leftmost, his ginger hair a dead giveaway on his identity. He was wearing a plaid long-sleeved polo of several shades of blue, khaki pants, and red rubber shoes with white laces. Draco was beside him, wearing, good Merlin, a black blazer with silver linings, white pants and white rubber shoes. Neville was in the middle, wearing a plain red shirt and white pants with blue rubber shoes. Blaise was next, sporting a striped shirt, red pants, and like Draco, was wearing white rubber shoes. Harry was at the rightmost, wearing what appeared to be a varsity jacket of some sort. He too, was wearing khaki pants, and red rubber shoes.
The music started playing, and each boy turned to face the audience, squinting at the lights. Upon closer inspection, Hermione's breath hitched. Draco Malfoy was wearing a tight white shirt under the blazer, and he was looking dashing. Harry was also wearing a white shirt underneath the jacket, but it was Ginny who sat ogling him.
(Please, if the outfits weren't a dead giveaway… Song: She's Not Afraid by One Direction. Go put it on, it's much more fun this way, trust me.)
Yeah, aha, one, two, three, flick
Draco started singing, timid at first. He stepped forward, and practically every girl in the room sat stunned.
She sneaks out in the middle of the night, yeah
Tight dress with the top cut low
She's addicted to the feeling of letting go, oh-woah, letting go
Blaise stepped forward and sang his line, grinning ear to ear. Of all the boys, he was the only one who seemed to be enjoying what was happening.
She walks in and the room just lights up
But she don't want anyone to know
That I'm the only one that gets to take her home, oh-woah, take her home
Ron sang his line as he walked forward, his voice wobbling a bit. He gave a shaky smile. Ginny screamed, "That's my brother!" cat calls were heard, most probably from the Weasley twins.
But every time I tell her that I want more
She closes the door
As the music paused for a beat towards the chorus, all the boys began singing. Blaise started jumping to the beat, and Neville timidly followed. Draco rolled his eyes and followed suit, a sour look plastered on his face. Ron (albeit a bit awkwardly) and Harry started jumping as well. Soon all five boys were jumping and belting out:
She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild
How come she's so afraid of falling in love?
She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kiss in the dark
But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love, love
The boys stopped jumping, and Neville stepped forward. He sounded quite composed for the Neville Longbottom everyone knew, which elicited surprise from majority of the audience.
Maybe she's just trying to test me
Wanna see how hard I'm gonna work
Wanna see if I can really tell how much she's worth, what you're worth
Blaise winked, and girls started screaming again, having gotten over the initial shock of actually hearing the boys singing together.
Maybe all her friends have told her, "Don't get closer ‒
He'll just break your heart"
It was Neville's line again. With each line he sang, his self-esteem seemed to grow, and he was now grinning from ear to ear, far more confident than anyone has seen him in years.
But either way she sees in the end
And it's just so hard, so hard
Ron had apparently gotten over his shakiness as well, and his next line sounded much better. Ginny gave a whoop and a thumbs-up.
'Cause every time I tell her how I feel
She says it's not real
One, two, three, flick
All the boys began jumping again, and even Draco had begun to look as if he was enjoying himself. Hermione found herself getting swept to her feet along with the other students, jumping along to the song the boys were singing. She grinned. Maybe Dumbledore's idea wasn't so bad after all.
She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild
How come she's so afraid of falling in love?
She's not afraid of scary movies
She likes the way we kiss in the dark
But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love, love
Draco started singing again, and he flashed his infamous smirk as he did so. Girls practically melted and Hermione would be damned if she dared admit that she too, almost combusted.
What about all the things we say
Talking on the phone so late (so late)
I can't let her get away from me, oh
Harry finally stepped forward, singing his own line. He surprised everyone at how well he sang. Harry Potter apparently wasn't just the boy-who-lived, he was also the boy-with-talent. Ginny swooned.
When I say that I can do it no more
She's back in my door
Neville laughed, obviously enjoying himself. The boys started jumping and singing again, with Harry singing the in the background, exhibiting his newly revealed talent.
(She's not afraid)
She's not afraid of all the attention
She's not afraid of running wild (running wild)
How come she's so afraid of falling in love? (falling in love)
By then even the professors were on their feet, dancing. Snape twirled Professor Sprout, still looking bored out of his wits as he did so. Professor Sprout laughed and then turned to join hands with Professor McGonagall, who by then had removed the clip from her usual no-nonsense bun. The two women started dancing and jumping to the beat, as all the students around them were doing. All students. Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws alike. Colin was having the time of his life, the camera flashing every few seconds. Dumbledore was standing, bobbing his head to the music. In other words, Hogwarts had gone wild at carry-okay night.
She's not afraid of scary movies (she's not afraid)
She likes the way we kiss in the dark (kiss in the dark)
But she's so afraid of f-f-falling in love, love
She's not afraid
She's not afraid
Love, love
The song ended, the five boys onstage breathing heavily. Draco spoke into his microphone, shocking the recovering crowd. "Seriously, Granger, what are you so afraid of?"
Hermione's head snapped and her eyes locked with the blond's onstage. There was a collective gasp among the audience.
As if that wasn't enough, Ron spoke up as well. "And you, Pansy."
Pansy's jaw dropped open as heads began to turn towards her.
Oh ho ho, Karaoke Night at Hogwarts was taking an unexpected turn to gossip land.
Blaise cleared his throat. "Luna?"
Luna smiled serenely, lapsing back to her dream-like trance.
Neville ruffled his hair and opened his mouth to speak. "Don't even think about it, Neville!" Hannah Abbott screamed, slapping a hand over her mouth in shock as she realized she just did what she threatened Neville not to do.
Harry grinned and Ginny shouted. "You know I'm not afraid Harry!"
Well, at least those two seemed to have a happy ending.
"YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO TELL ANYONE!" Hermione, Pansy, and Hannah shouted in dismay at their boyfriends. Yes, boyfriends. At least, the closest things they had to one. As the song indicated, all three girls were just too scared to commit. Neville gave a helpless shrug at Hannah, since technically she was the one who told everyone. Luna opted to give Blaise a look which he responded to with a sheepish grin. All four relationships aside from Harry and Ginny's had been kept a secret from everyone else. For obvious reasons.
And now Hogwarts knows.
Well, there are still a lot of Fridays for the school year.