My Twilight!!
This comes off after Edward left.
Where is he? He couldn't have possibly left like that. He wouldn't have done this, this isn't what he would do…I quickly turned around trying to find him. I push my arms out trying to feel him. It's starting to get dark and it's harder for me to see. I call his name out, tripping at every branch on the floor. I hope that the blood on my palms would trigger him to find me.
"Edward? Edward!" I yell out desperately. I franticly search for his inhumanely cold hands. There was nothing. I held onto no cold fingers, but rather I felt the cold rain lightly fall on my hair. I didn't stop trying to find him. I called out for him, I tried finding him, and I needed to hear him. I fell to the floor, once again, and I stayed there. I sobbed into the floor, crying out his name.
"Why?" I breathed in heavily.
"Why would you leave me alone?" I cry out one last shriek and I quietly cry to myself on the floor. I didn't care that my head was resting on a dirty log. I didn't care that the rain was seething through my clothes. I didn't care about anything. I didn't feel anything. All I know is the numbness that overwhelming my heart. What's happening? At that, everything went black.
I wake up to an unfamiliar voice calling out my name. I groggily opened my eyes but stayed down. I didn't care about who was calling me. I closed my eyes once again.
"Bella? Have you been hurt?" a tall, dark Quileute man asks me. It was odd-what he had said to me. He asked me if I had been hurt. Not if I was hurt. All I could do was just stare at him with my soul less eyes. He picked me up and made his way out of the forest. I saw the police was there and a panicked Charlie.
"Bella! What happened to you?! All you left was a note but you never came back home! I'll take it from here Sam." Charlie gets me from Sam but I could tell he had some difficulties with it. He was struggling keeping me up.
"Charlie, if you want me to carry her I can." Sam asks politely.
"No it's fine. I could handle this." He grunts and steadily carries me inside. He gently puts me down on the couch. There were Quileute boys, or rather men, surrounding me. There was also a doctor in the house.
"Bella this is Dr. Fang. He's here to help you." the doctor makes his way towards me. He begins to ask me all these questions about Edward and I. Just the thought of him made me cringe inside. I almost lost it when I said his name. I couldn't help myself from feeling this self pity inside. My heart was quickly destroying itself inside. After that day, I couldn't act the same. Every day I walked the lonely halls of my school, it just reminded me of my lost lover. I couldn't talk to anyone about anything. The pain of…him leaving was too much for me. I felt so numb inside and out. I couldn't eject any feelings out from the inside. I didn't feel like doing anything but just to live my life as it is. Nothing matters now.
"Hey Bella." It's lunch time. People haven't quite said anything to me since I've been secluding myself. Once in a while Angela would say something to me.
"Hello." I say quietly. I finally heard how I said and it didn't sound like I had a life at all. It sounds so dead…
"We're going to the beach today. Want to come with us?" she asks quietly. It didn't seem like she was making me go or if she wanted to ask just she can get a kick out of this. She was always so nice to me. I feel like I should feel bad about saying no all the time but I can never put any thoughts in my mind.
"No thank you." I try to smile a little bit but I could tell she knew I was just acting. As always, she didn't take it the wrong way.
"Okay. Maybe next time then." she smiles and goes back to Ben. I sit alone in the table, eating pizza and drinking lemonade. I uncapped the lemonade and took a sip. As I got the cap I accidentally dropped it on the table. I fiddled around with the cap when I remembered Edward. I was playing with a lemonade cap when I first sat with him…I grabbed onto my stomach to keep the hole from bursting. The bell rang and I quickly got up and walked to my next class. By the end of the day, I was shaking and trying to keep the tears from falling off.
I got the keys for my truck and I got inside. I drove off quickly, fighting off the tears from falling down. When I finally drove up to the driveway, I was clutching my stomach and I pulled my knees up. I slowly rocked myself until the pain flew away. My tears were streaming down my face; I tried to keep my sobs from booming out…I was such a mess. After thirty minutes, I was able to contain myself from crying.
Locking my truck, I got my keys for the door. I sighed and stood there for a minute. I went inside, and dropped my stuff in my room. I didn't want to have another breakdown so I went downstairs to clean. I washed the remains of the dishes, scrubbed the floors, dusted off the furniture, and cleaned the bathroom.
"Six o'clock…time for dinner." I put away the sprays and such for the bathroom and washed my hands. I went downstairs and got to cooking. We had fish from Charlie's fishing trip so I got that started. I also got the salad finished. As soon as the fish was done, Charlie came walking through the door.
"Bella? Something smells real good." He hangs his gun on the hook and turned the TV on. He put it on the baseball game that was going on.
"Hey dad. Here's your food." I put some fish on his plate and salad. He looks at the salad with a weird expression on his face. Then, he looks up at me with a confused look.
"You know, Billy told me he saw some kids from your school down at the beach. Did they invite you?" he took a bit of his salad. I could tell he wished I didn't put a lot of salad on his plate.
"Yes but, I said no." I walked away knowing he could hear the lifeless sound from my voice. I heard him put his plate down and he walked towards me. He put his hand on my shoulder.
"Bella, I can't let you living on like this! Lately you've been acting…zombie like! I called Renee…and we've been thinking of sending you back to Phoenix." He says calmly. I stared at him with shocked eyes. My mouth felt like dropping down.
"Charlie. There's no need to do that, please. I'll ask Jessica and Angela to hang out tomorrow. We'll have fun like old times. I promise. So please don't send me back there." I look straight into his eyes. Wow, I really do sound like a zombie…
"…Okay. But you just need to get out there more. You can't be grieving over this forever you know." He tried to say nicely. He should have known better though because that hit my heart like a fire rocket.
"Thanks Charlie. You're a real help." I ran up the stairs and shut myself in my room. I felt the hole ripping open and eating me inside. I fell down and pulled my knees up. I started crying so much that snot started falling out. I finally composed myself and took a shower, hoping that it would get it out of my head.
I put my clothes on and lay down on my bed. I tried to keep the thoughts of him out of my head, but it kept flowing in. I remember him coming through my window to hum me to sleep. I remember how he would hold me carefully but with the ever slightest touch of lust. He cared for me so much…but now, he doesn't. He said it straight to my face.
I felt a sudden strike of pain in my heart. I gasp the pain out and I curled up into a ball. The pain was beating in the same rhythm of my heart. The tears fell down heavily on my skin. I felt my heart in my ears and it wouldn't stop beating. My stomach kept turning and the hole in my heart was growing. No…no…no! I finally fell asleep, dreading every minute because I know that once I hit my time to sleep it's my nightmare next.
I was in the forest, alone. I was following the light that I saw in the distant. Suddenly, Edward came in front of me. I tried catching up to him but he was walking too fast for me. I was calling out his name when a wolf came out and tried to keep me away from him.
"Edward! Help me! Don't go!" I looked down at the wolf and he shot me a frantic look. I was confused as to how he could communicate with me.
"Good bye Bella…" Edward ran off towards the darkness of the forest. I chased after him. I constantly was trying to look for him, but end up being disappointed because I couldn't find him.
I woke up screaming. I curled my knees up and started panting. I tried to remind myself that I was safe on my bed. I think I was scared because I couldn't find him, like the first time this happened to me.
I checked the clock. 6 o'clock…I went to the bathroom and turned the water up until I felt the burning sensation on my skin. I let the steam rub off on me. I used my favorite shampoo, strawberry scented. Once I was finished, I got dressed for school. I put on a brown long sleeve shirt and dark jeans. I went downstairs to make breakfast for Charlie and I. I got out eggs and some bacon. I cooked it quickly as Charlie walked down the stairs.
"So Bella…" he says hesitantly.
"Yes?" I got the eggs out and gave some to him, along with the bacon.
"Well, I was wondering, if you were still going to ask Jessica or Angela to hang out or not." I could tell he noticed that I was still unsure about it. To hide it up he quickly said, "Because then I would know if I have to buy dinner." He shoves a piece of his egg inside his mouth.
"I'll go ask. Don't worry about it too much okay?" I try my best to give him an honest smile, but I could see that it didn't make it to my eyes. We finished eating our breakfast and he left the house. I still had a few minutes before I actually had to leave. I got my bag and I left the house. I drove to school and I noticed that Jessica and Angela were there already. Well here goes nothing.
"Uh, hey guys." I give them a small wave and the slightest smile. Angela smiled at me while Jessica gave me an annoyed look. Obviously I didn't stay on her friend list.
"I was wondering if you guys were doing anything today." I had to keep my voice from straining away. I almost just ran away from them but what's done is done.
"Well I have some plans with Ben. I'm sorry Bella. Maybe I can cancel and we can hang today. It wouldn't be a problem." As always, she looks so sincere about what she says. There was no way I am going to make her do this.
"It's fine. Please, maybe we can hang out another time." I felt kind of disappointed. Now I was hoping Jessica could save me here.
"I don't have any plans. I guess we can hang out." She says unwillingly. It didn't surprise me that she felt that way.
"Okay cool." Hopefully this will get Charlie off my back.
"I'll pick you up around 4:30." She still looked at me weird. I ignored it and agreed. The bell rang so we went to class. The day took long to pass over. Every class felt longer, our breaks seem to go on, and P.E was the worst. We had to play volley ball and Mike was my partner. He would say a few words to me to see if I would talk to him, but I barely said anything back. I didn't think those few words would trigger the puppy in him though. Once it was over, I practically ran back to my truck and drove home.
I got dressed, put my wallet in my rarely used purse, and went downstairs. I left a note for Charlie telling him who I was going with. I waited for Jessica to arrive when I tripped and got a stain on my shirt. I quickly went upstairs and changed. I heard her honk her horn twice before I left the house.
"Hey Jess." I managed to bring up a decent smile.
"Well do you want to watch a movie or…?" she asks me.
"Uh, movie is fine with me." she nodded and started to drive off to Port Angeles. She turned up some whiney rock music while she blabbed on about her life. She talked about school dances, her and Mike, and all these things I didn't know much about. When we finally reached the theaters, we decided to go with a romcom. I wasn't too fond of it but I didn't want to object to her.
"Wasn't he so hot for the girl? I think he would be great with…" she continued to talk about the movie. She knew who the actors were and the director. She talked about who would do well with who. All I had to do was nod and agree with her. It surprised me that she could talk for so long. I looked out the window and my thoughts drifted away. Soon, I realized that she stopped talking. She must have realized I wasn't paying attention to her anymore.
"Thanks for the ride Jess." I got out of her car. I swear I heard her say 'whatever'. She drove off looking pissed. I saw Charlie's cruiser outside so I knew he must have seen the note. I came inside and he was having trouble with the TV.
"Hey Bella. How was your day with Jessica?" he took a few seconds to look at me.
"It was fine. Are you having trouble with that?" I pointed at the TV. He shot off a troubled look and sighed.
"I think I might pay Billy a visit. You want to come or are you too tired?" he gets up and walks towards the phone. I didn't plan on staying alone for a few hours so I agreed to go. He called Billy and we went to La Push. When we pulled up to his house, Jacob opened the door for us.
"Welcome guys!" both of us entered his house. It had this warm, husky smell that made me feel comfortable instantly. Jacob's smile felt a little contagious and I would notice that I would actually smile when I see him. Billy came rolling in from the bathroom as it would appear.
"Charlie! Bella! It's good to see you." he shook my hand and patted Charlie's back.
"Let's get to it Billy!" Billy turned on the TV and the two men instantly got into the game. Jacob and I were in the kitchen as we watched our fathers' shouting at the television. Somehow, Jacob was able to keep the conversation going and I never felt awkward.
"So what do you like to do when you're at home?"
"Well I usually go back to the garage and I would work on my Rabbit." He says bashfully.
"You work on cars? Sounds like fun." I smiled at him when he smiled at me. I didn't think I was capable of smiling but something about him made me feel happy. I knew my smile was still a little shaky but Jacob never made it apparent that it looked odd.
"Maybe you can come over sometimes and check it out." He flips his long, slick, black hair out of his eyes.
"Do you think we can check it now?" I hope I wasn't being pushy by asking this.
"You want to? Well then sure! Let's go!" he smiled from ear to ear as he showed me the way back to the garage. When we went in, I saw the car that was being worked on. His tools were sprawled out everywhere, a few grocery bags here and there, and a lot of other stuff.
"Wow Jacob…this is actually pretty cool." I went closer to the hood and examined the unfamiliar engine.
"It's really fun to be able to fix something broken and turn it into something…beautiful. I swear, once I get all the parts for this car, I will turn her into a sweet ride!" as always, his smile radiated towards me making me smile.
"I could show you how I fix it." He suggested as he pointed to the car.
"Okay." I went close to him as I would allow my face to go near the hood of the car. He would tell me what part was what and how it functioned. He showed me where to put it and how to put it in there. Even though I know nothing about fixing cars, I was fascinated by it. I didn't even realized how long we've been in there.
"Bells! Are you ready to go?" Charlie yells.
"Sure dad! Hold on!" I carefully stepped out of the way so I won't step onto any of the tools.
"I hope I didn't bore you with this…" he scratches his hair, embarrassed about it.
"I had a lot of fun Jacob. I hope we do this soon." We both walk back into the house. We said our good bye and went into the cruiser.
"Did you have fun with Jake?" my dad asks curiously. I figured he and Billy would talk about this so I might as well tell him.
"Yeah. I had a lot of fun. I was thinking of doing it again." I was hoping he wouldn't make a big deal of it. He just smugly smiled at whistled to himself. I sighed and looked out the window.