AN: So, I wrote this a while ago when I was really tired and posted it without reading it through. I've come back now to edit it but I'd like to clarify that I don't believe Lily would have ever really thought like this. My subconscious is very strange and so it came up with this story! I'm not happy with it and I don't think anyone else was either but, hey, here it is and please let me know what you think about it.
I used to hate him you know. Or at least I thought I did. He was idiotic, annoying and even cruel, torturing Snape for seven years nearly, never relenting.
Everyone else seemed to see him as funny, kind and considerate to his friends and it seemed only I could see the real him, the one who, thought he would never ever want to hear this, was slightly Slytherin, not quite the complete Gryffindor he appeared. Then again all the Marauders were slightly out of the normal Gryffindor bounds.
Take Sirius, the Gryffindor in the Slytherin family, the lion in the snake nest. Fun-loving but brooding and cruel, sending Snape to his near death for a prank. Take Remus, the quiet studious kind werewolf, never telling anyone what he was like or how he was feeling.
Oh and of course, who can forget Peter? Cowardly and traitorous, the essence of Slytherin with a mix of Hufflepuff and just enough bravery to tip the scales. Bravery to betray.
Yes, I know he's the traitor but who can I tell now? It's too late, Dumbledore was too trusting and my small family dies too soon. Not Harry though, never Harry. I would fight to the death for Harry.
So yes, I used to hate him but then... Well, things change. We grew up, loyalties changed and I knew he was the one. Ha, so childish, so schoolgirl like I know but really I am. A little girl who had to grow up too fast, torn from her family and tossed aside by one friend to the enemy who was always the better one in the first place.
Yes, he was cruel. Yes, he acted so much like the Slytherin he bullied so relentlessly. It's ironic, really. Looking back I see it as any type of bullying, it happens everywhere after all and perhaps the magic, the hexes and curses, made it seem worse but it also made it better.
After all they could heal much faster and physically scars were almost non-existent. Mentally though, the scars remained in Snape I know and still do today.
So why? Why did I change my opinions so drastically? I think it was because he was, is, so loyal, fiercely defensive of Sirius, Remus and all his friends. He would never change, he would always remain the same. He would fight to the death for Harry too, I know he would.
I know what this sounds like now. It sounds like I settled for him, tried to make the best of a bad choice but I didn't. I knew from the beginning really his true colours. Knew that even though he seemed so cruel he was just young and foolish and insecure. We all were and I guess we still are. I loved him, I love him now.
I said I hated him but I don't think I ever did.
He's loyal and happy with a darker twist that somehow highlights the good rather than tarnish the Gryffindor spirit. He's the light with shadows and the lion with a hiss.
He's James.