Me and my crazy band of friend's conversations, a parodies and spoofs fanfic

I translated some, then got lazy. The 说 is said, by the way. Basically I'm going back to the neighborhood in the summer. I'm trying to get my pal Derek to invite people over so we can hang out. This is what happened.

Baron: Me. The only sane guy in the convo.

Tutu: The sarcastic guy who doesn't speak as muc has us.

Derek: The guy who gets fed up and leaves. Sometimes due to internet probs.

Patty: The only girl in the convo. Also the only spammer.

Baron 说:

INVITING PATTY WAS A MISTAKE

i didnt mean 2!!!

ok derek

u there man

DUDE

les clarify

Derek Deng 说:

---金山网镖提醒您：您的会话未被加密---

leo isn't even online

Baron 说:

whatever

do you think she should come

i vote no

derek

dude

Derek Deng 说:

sorry

Baron 说:

hehe

me and u then

Derek Deng 说:

that was caps from the group convo

yeah

maybe tutu or leo or plato

and

Baron 说:

hey...

Derek Deng 说:

that's wat i meant

Baron 说:

why not get ppl to go to the park downstaairs

and go somewhere

Derek Deng 说:

or all five

Baron 说:

to hang out

Derek Deng 说:

cool

Baron 说:

still

should she go

Derek Deng 说:

not chaoyang we need to pay money

Baron 说:

*phew*

Derek Deng 说:

we can go hang out in th compound

Baron 说:

kay

Derek Deng 说:

as in the mini park around our buildings

Baron 说:

or get everyone to bring money and but their own tickets to chaoyang

cmon

be smart

like m

Derek Deng 说:

chaoyang's too big

Baron 说:

and patty hates me now

Derek Deng 说:

i know

Baron 说:

how does bigness stop fun?

Derek Deng 说:

sux to be you eh heart broken *lalalalala runs away happily off into the rainbow*

Baron 说:

just the compund?

dude thats like 2 second fun

Derek Deng 说:

hey how do you change your status into in the rainbow

Baron 说:

then 5 hours boredom

dunno

Derek Deng 说:

sux to be you eh heart broken *lalalalala runs away

your heart's broken i tink

Baron 说:

...dun care

Derek Deng 说:

i believe i have experienced the true meaning of crazy

Baron 说:

huh

Derek Deng 说:

invite those 2 again

it's a fun ride through craziness

已将 Tu2 添加到对话中。

Derek Deng 说:

please

已将 ραтяіcёiα 添加到对话中。

Baron 说:

beffore u guys ask

Derek Deng 说:

...

Baron 说:

he made me

Tu2 说:

ok....

ραтяіcёiα 说:

made u wat

Baron 说:

invite

Derek Deng 说:

no i have a question

ραтяіcёiα 说:

invite what

Derek Deng 说:

for english,did the five drames have to include angles

frames*

Baron 说:

FINE

deek

Tu2 说:

think so

Baron 说:

what is the roster

and what is the plan

ραтяіcёiα 说:

doesnt have to

Baron 说:

DEREK

Derek Deng 说:

why not

ραтяіcёiα 说:

nvr said we did

Derek Deng 说:

wait just different types of camera shots right

Baron 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i only had one angled shot

and i finished it in class

Baron 说:

whats the roster and the plan

ραтяіcёiα 说:

and he said ok

wats a roster?

Baron 说:

oh god

Tu2 说:

the list

Baron 说:

just...derek say it

Derek Deng 说:

what about derek

Baron 说:

before patty head go boom boom

Derek Deng 说:

which derek

Baron 说:

DEREK

DENG

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

您发给 Derek Deng 参加这次对话的邀请无法送达。

Baron 说:

ROSTER AND PLAN

...great

hes trying to escape me

Tu2 说:

i have a bad feeling we are going to label a skeleton for sci test

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

Baron 说:

ROSTER AND PLAN

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

ραтяіcёiα 说:

............

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

ραтяіcёiα 说:

oh no

Baron 说:

patty wont kill u

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

Baron 说:

cmon

...whats wrong wtih him???

ραтяіcёiα 说:

yea

i wont

idk

您发给 Derek Deng 参加这次对话的邀请无法送达。

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

Baron 说:

PATY WONT KILL U ROSTER AND PLAN DUDE

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

ραтяіcёiα 说:

.......

Baron 说:

*sigh*

ραтяіcёiα 说:

maybe internet problem

Baron 说:

ill bug him

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

已将 Derek Deng 添加到对话中。

Baron 说:

i wont bug u

Derek Deng 说:

ok connection problems

Baron 说:

just say something about the ROSTER AND PLAN

ραтяіcёiα 说:

TOLD YOU SO!!

haha

Baron 说:

ROSTER AND PLAN DUDE

Tu2 说:

haha

Baron 说:

shaddup shorty

Derek Deng 说:

what

Baron 说:

roser and plan double dee

cmon

ραтяіcёiα 说:

me?

Baron 说:

ur not double-d

dd is

now cmon

ραтяіcёiα 说:

nono

whos shorty

Baron 说:

tutu

double tee

Tu2 说:

ummm

ραтяіcёiα 说:

whos me?

Baron 说:

DEREK

Derek Deng 说:

what's roster

Tu2 说:

dude i patty's height

ραтяіcёiα 说:

yea

whats roster

Baron 说:

grrrr

ραтяіcёiα 说:

NO U ARENT

Baron 说:

roster

ραтяіcёiα 说:

is?

Derek Deng 说:

why would you want me to talk about a male chicken

Baron 说:

the ppl ur INVITING

NOT ROOSTER

Tu2 说:

yes i am

Baron 说:

ROSTER

ραтяіcёiα 说:

cuz

Baron 说:

THE LIST

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i like

Baron 说:

OF PPL

ραтяіcёiα 说:

hens

ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Tu2 说:

hens are femasl

ραтяіcёiα 说:

ohhh

Tu2 说:

i told you what it was b4 -_-

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Derek Deng 说:

I DON'T LIKE MALE CHICKENS OK NOW GET OVER IT

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Derek Deng 说:

oh roster!

ραтяіcёiα 说:

lol

derek...

ㅉㅉㅉ

나빠 남자!

Baron 说:

god

ραтяіcёiα 说:

아이요

ㅉㅉㅉ

Tu2 说:

ham ga cai

Derek Deng 说:

the roster and plan is that i will invite baron and some other people to chaoyang park

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Baron 说:

...

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Meeee

Derek Deng 说:

that was actually baron's idea

Baron 说:

some other ppl

ραтяіcёiα 说:

MEEEEEEE

INVITE ME

Baron 说:

thats the list im asking

Derek Deng 说:

no i don't think there would be you

Baron 说:

the list

ραтяіcёiα 说:

OR ELSE IM NOT UR FIRNED ANYMORE

Baron 说:

uh oh

*baccks away*

ραтяіcёiα 说:

........................

derek..

Baron 说:

derek

u might wanna reconsider...

Tu2 说:

we have the gayest converses ever

derek.

Baron 说:

i dont want to die

ραтяіcёiα 说:

derek...

Tu2 说:

i want to

ραтяіcёiα 说:

derek..

Derek Deng 说:

yeah this is gay

Baron 说:

gulp

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK!

Baron 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

fwt

Baron 说:

ah crap

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Baron 说:

i told u

Tu2 说:

you have to embrace death with open arms for you never know when you might die

Derek Deng 说:

what the heck

Baron 说:

reconsider

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

Baron 说:

PLZ

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

fwt

wft

wtf

tfww

tfwtf

tfw

fwt

Baron 说:

BEFORE IM PISSED OFF TO DEATH

ραтяіcёiα 说:

btw

i stopped to read the conv

twf

wtf

Derek Deng 说:

ok nice cheery advice derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

tfw

wtf

tfw

twf

Baron 说:

...god

shorties!

ραтяіcёiα 说:

fwt

tfw

wtf

twf

tfw

wtf

Derek Deng 说:

I SHALL EMBRAC DEATH WITH OPEN ARMS!

Tu2 说:

either that or he wants to be with patty'

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wft

wtf

wwt

wtf

wft

tff

Derek Deng 说:

wtf

Tu2 说:

patty.

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wft

fwt

twf

wtwf

wtf

wft

twf

Derek Deng 说:

nvm

Tu2 说:

stop spamming

Baron 说:

this is so frikkin annoying

actually

ραтяіcёiα 说:

fwt

wtf

ftw

Baron 说:

im just gonna copy paste this to fanfiction

this is the funniest convo in a while

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wft

tfw

Derek Deng 说:

i shall fight death until the other succumbs! mwahahaha

Baron 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

ftw

wftwft

wtf

wft

wtf

Baron 说:

reconsider or ill die when i get to bj

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

wftwtf

twt

Baron 说:

ill get the blame

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

ttf

wtf

twfwf

wtf

ftw

wtf

Baron 说:

womans fury greater then the depths of hell

Derek Deng 说:

im just gonna block her

ραтяіcёiα 说:

tfwwtf

Baron 说:

cmon!

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

tfw

twf

wtt

wft

wtfftw

wtf

ttw

Baron 说:

uh oh

ραтяіcёiα 说:

twtf

wtf

tfw

twfwtf

Baron 说:

tahts not smart man

ραтяіcёiα 说:

tfw

Derek Deng 说:

Tu2 说:

im going to hawaii with my cousins =D

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wft

twf

wftwtf

wtf

fwt

Baron 说:

not smart when it comes to school

Derek Deng 说:

Baron 说:

wait

tutu

ραтяіcёiα 说:

tfwtf

Derek Deng 说:

which island

Baron 说:

in summer?

Tu2 说:

dunno

Baron 说:

TUTU

Tu2 说:

nope

Baron 说:

SPIT IT

ραтяіcёiα 说:

wtf

wftw

wtf

twfwtf

wtf

wtft

wtf

Tu2 说:

im lieing

Baron 说:

phew

Tu2 说:

i want to go

ραтяіcёiα 说:

tfw

wtfwtf

wtfwt

tfw

derek.......

Baron 说:

...

Derek Deng 已离开对话。

Baron 说:

finally

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK.......

I WANAN GO TOO!

LETS GO SHOPPING IN A PINK CONVERTABLE WITH BARBIE!!

aw...

Tu2 说:

but then they leaving on the 10th

Baron 说:

GREAT

LOOK WHAT U DID PATTY

god

ραтяіcёiα 说:

I WAANA GO SHOPPING IN A PINK CONVERTABLE WITH BARBIE IN HAWAII

i hate derek..

hes mean

Baron 说:

oh god

Tu2 说:

....

Baron 说:

i warned him

ραтяіcёiα 说:

hes going to DIEEEE

but

since i dont konw him

已将 Derek Deng

Baron 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

IM GOING TO KILL BARON !!

hahaha

hahah

ahhaha

hahhaha

hahha

Baron 说:

if u get stalked in school do not blame me

ραтяіcёiα 说:

heeeeheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

derek..

Derek Deng 说:

im gonna blck eeveryone

Baron 说:

DONT

Derek Deng 说:

block*

ραтяіcёiα 说:

.ur in biggieebigeeee twoubwee

Baron 说:

OR ILL KILL U WHEN I GET TO BJ

ραтяіcёiα 说:

me?

Baron 说:

...

patty

ραтяіcёiα 说:

yes daddy?

Baron 说:

why on earth would i be talking to u with death threats

ραтяіcёiα 说:

right

Tu2 说:

very...very ...gay

ραтяіcёiα 说:

good poing

Baron 说:

stay away from the keyboard

ραтяіcёiα 说:

point

hahah

ahahha

ahhahha

hahha

hahahhah

Derek Deng 说:

let's give the newly wed couples some private space

Baron 说:

its the smartest thing u can do right now

stay awa from the keyboard

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

deereks shaddup

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

im trying to pacify things

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

they married long log ago

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

u guys are not helping

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Derek Deng 说:

yeah

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

when i ran wawy

Derek Deng 说:

i know

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

lol

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Derek Deng 说:

lol

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

U GUYS ARENT HELPING

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

and tutu

Tu2 说:

stop spamming

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

ur not an official priest

Tu2 说:

or else i will ignore you tmmrw

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

DEREK IS GOING TO D

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

DEREK IS GOING TO

u ignore me anyways,..

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

...

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

...

Baron 说:

STOP PATTY

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Baron 说:

OR ILL AHTE U

ραтяіcёiα 说:

DEREK IS GOING TO DIE!~~

Tu2 说:

not really

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Baron 说:

wha???

that worked???

Tu2 说:

hmmm]

Baron 说:

shaddup u 2

ραтяіcёiα 说:

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Derek Deng 说:

let's just say that I have the belt before the black belt in karate

Tu2 说:

the saying love always pullz thourhg works =/

Derek Deng 说:

so don't you dare kill me

Tu2 说:

i just still don't believe in that

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i have a green belt in taekwondo

Tu2 说:

my bs meter agrees too

ραтяіcёiα 说:

hahahahahhahahhahahhaha

Baron 说:

i had red-black belt

close enough

tutu

ραтяіcёiα 说:

hahahah

Baron 说:

u are not sheila

Derek Deng 说:

HAHAHAHA GREEEN BELT in taikwon do

Baron 说:

shut up

Tu2 说:

lol

Baron 说:

I HAD A RED BLACK

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i quit 2 years ago

lol

Baron 说:

I CAN USE A STAFF PPL

ραтяіcёiα 说:

sheila?

Baron 说:

NOW SHADDUP

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i can use a magic wand

Baron 说:

FOR I HAVE A RUSTED SWORD RIGHT HERE IN GUNAGZHOU

oh right

derek

Derek Deng 说:

i have a knife

ραтяіcёiα 说:

and in the wave of my magical wand

Tu2 说:

lol

Baron 说:

book a tennis court

Tu2 说:

rusted

Baron 说:

ill play u

rusted is worse

ραтяіcёiα 说:

everyone will be in FAIRYLAND!!!

(even boyss)

Baron 说:

it will kill if u get cut from it

Tu2 说:

oh for friggen sakes

Baron 说:

derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

hi everybody

im patty

Baron 说:

book a friggin tennis court

ραтяіcёiα 说:

whats ur name?

Derek Deng 说:

or i could just bring my tennis racket and protect my self for frikkin sake

ραтяіcёiα 说:

I WILL

Baron 说:

ill friggin play

you

ραтяіcёiα 说:

YOU CAN DO IT IN MY HOUSE

ILL HELP U BARON

Baron 说:

lets not do IT

Derek Deng 说:

or just beat up every random person i see

ραтяіcёiα 说:

haha

i hate derek

Baron 说:

that wont help derek

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i hate derek

Derek Deng 说:

WHY ARE THESE CONVOS SO GAY!

Baron 说:

random icludes us

Tu2 说:

i still think staying at home is really safe for you =

ραтяіcёiα 说:

i hate derek

hes an asshole

Tu2 说:

ραтяіcёiα 说:

just like jeremy

hahahah

Tu2 说:

which derek?

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Baron 说:

u hate jeremy now

ραтяіcёiα 说:

Baron 说:

of god

ραтяіcёiα 说:

jeremy is an asshole

Tu2 说:

yeah

Baron 说:

wow

ραтяіcёiα 说:

u wanna see our convo yesterday?

Baron 说:

she is switching bfs fast

Derek Deng 说:

...

Tu2 说:

really gay how they broke up

Derek Deng 说:

how

Baron 说:

how

wait

i need to practice sax

brb

Derek Deng 说:

bye

Tu2 说:

her current one is in sh now =/

Baron 说:

keep typing though

Tu2 说:

lol

Derek Deng 说:

Tu2 说:

sax i thought was typo for sex =/

Derek Deng 说:

what's that

ραтяіcёiα 说:

日期时间发送者接收者消息

2009-4-9 19:46:43 ραтяіcёiα Jeremy hey

2009-4-9 19:47:00 Jeremy ραтяіcёiα hi sup

2009-4-9 19:47:29 Jeremy ραтяіcёiα o and remember today adam and i took ab's phone..

2009-4-9 19:47:35 Jeremy ραтяіcёiα we were hacking it...

2009-4-9 19:47:48 ραтяіcёiα Jeremy haha

2009-4-9 19:47:49 ραтяіcёiα Jeremy lol

2009-4-9 19:47:50 ραтяіcёiα Jeremy rly

shit

wait

Derek Deng 说:

uh... i don't get that

Tu2 说:

me neitehr

Derek Deng 说:

lol sax typo

Tu2 说:

yeah'

Derek Deng left.

Tu2 说:

now what...

已将 Derek Deng joined the conversation.

Baron 说:

ill give everyone my mobile number!!!

Tu2 说:

...

Derek Deng 说:

you call it mobile

Baron 说:

1343118187

lemme check

Derek Deng 说:

i thought you grew up in california for pete's sake ;_;

Baron 说:

13434118187

Derek Deng 说:

ah well who cares

Baron 说:

yeah

fine

CELL

happy

Tu2 说:

yep

Derek Deng 说:

Tu2 说:

very

mobile sounds gay

cell sounds much better

so baron

who are the exams there

and what school do you go to?"

"hi"

REVENGE WILL SOON BE MINE MUHAHAHAHAHAH

right

im the only one who is tlaking right now...

Derek Deng 说:

i need to practice piano

Tu2 说:

bye

Derek Deng 说:

your piano teacher gives a lotta homework

Tu2 说:

nope

Derek Deng 说:

well i dunno to me she does

oh well bye

Derek Deng left

Tu2 left

Baron 说:

copy and pasting thsi convo LAWL