Unholy Union R
Niklas "Hawk" Jonsson

Summary: Love Hina AU. Takes place during Keitaro's time in America. During Keitaro's spring break, he's persuaded to come with some friends from school to the city of sin, where he meets a very unusual woman...

Disclaimer: Love Hina, Hinata Sou and whatnot are not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The story is mine though, all mine. This story deals with some very unpleasant things. If this disturbs you, don't read.
If the layout looks screwy or symbols seems to be missing, you're probably reading the quickedit-mangled version of this fic on ff dot net, if it grates on your nerves too much, read it on hawksgalaxy dot com or something.

Feedback/Flames: Yes, please. Both of them are equally fun to read, although I must admit that I greatly prefer the first variety. :)
I can be found on ICQ as 21771860, MSN Messenger/E-mail as iamhawk at yahoo dotcom, though not very frequently as real life lately interferes with my online existance more then I'd like. More stories are available at my nifty lil' site at hawksgalaxy dot com or by clicking on my handle up above.

"speech"
emphasis/shouts/Kindred Domination/post-hypnotic triggers
/thoughts/
/telepathy/
translation
+soundeffect/radio/telephone conversation/TV+

Chapter One:

"Come on, boss. Don't you think that you've had enough yet?" Sergeant Taka asked of his superior officer.

"No." she simply responded, taking another hit from the glass in front of her. "Go home, Taka. The plane is waiting. Go back home, fuck your wife, hug your children and sleep soundly, knowing that we've done the world a great favour today." she added.

"You're still planning to stay, boss?" Taka inquired with a worried expression on his face.

"Yeah. I've got nine years worth of unclaimed vacation days. I figure it's time that I start using some of them." she replied, staring longingly at a girl a few seats over who was happily puffing on a cigarette. She had to drop that habit a couple of years ago as it was a serious problem reeking of smoke when sneaking around, but the longing had never quite vanished and sitting in a smoky pub wasn't exactly making the urge to smoke a fag of her own any weaker.

She mentally cursed her European friend Mirelle for ever getting her hooked on those damned things.

"How are you going to get back home?" Taka asked of her.

"Believe it or not, Taka. But I can pay for a plane ticket home." she replied, good-humouredly. "Just as I haven't taken any vacations for years, I haven't spent much of my pay either."

"Are you absolutely sure about this, boss?" Taka said, but she merely signed to the bartender that it was time for another refill.

"Taka. I'm sure, all right? Go home." she finally instructed him, nodding gratefully at the bartender who refilled her glass. Taka sighed and rubbed his left temple for a few moments, before he finally nodded.

"Yes, Major." he responded and mock-saluted. "Come back to us, all right?"

"I always do, don't I?" she countered with a faint smile. "You know me, nothing will ever be able to keep me away from my job."

"Right you are, Major. I'll see you around." Taka responded, before he stood up, left some money on the counter and then walked out of the bar.

"Finally..." she muttered to herself, emptying the recently refilled glass and signing for the bartender to top it up again.

"Rough day?" the bartender asked.

"Rough couple of years." she countered, but didn't elaborate upon it. "Leave the bottle." she instructed and saw the bartender hesitate for a while, before he finally nodded and left the bottle with her.

"And what's a pretty girl like you doi-OUMPF!" an unfortunate lounge lizard thinking that he'd stumbled upon an easy mark, got swiftly corrected in his wrongful assumption by way of a kick to his shin, a fist to his gut and a small, dainty hand that none the less possessed an iron grip, clutching at his throat, yanking his face up close to her own.

"Piss. Off." she told him, then let him go. The man apparently understood that he had nothing to gain except pain from remaining near her and thus limped away with a pained expression on his face.

"Take it easy, huh? If one of the bouncer's spot you doing something like that, you'll be out on the street before you know it." the bartender advised her.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." she responded with a faint smile, wondering just whom it would be who wound up out on the streets if anyone tried to toss her out. After all, what was a mere bouncer compared to a trained assassin, infiltrator and intelligence procurer?

For nine years, she had retained her current job. The first two years, had eroded just about every single human emotion from her system and left her an emotionless killing machine, incapable of rejoining normal society. The following seven, had merely cemented that, leaving her where she was today.

Or so she had thought until this last mission, at least.

Her grip tightened around her glass and she refilled it with the lime-flavoured vodka that was her drink of choice for the evening, taking another hit from the burning liquid.

She never had to kill a child before.

The experience had left her with a dull ache in her chest, a sour taste in her mouth, an upset stomach and a blistering headache.

The worst thing was, that she wasn't sure if she should feel angry at herself for not being in control of her emotions and conscience, or pleased that she apparently still had them.

She looked at her hands, still faintly red from the furious scrubbing and washing she had put them through after she had done the deed. She still thought that she could smell blood on them. She knew it was just her imagination, she hadn't anywhere near close enough and had been wearing gloves at the time, but the feeling was hard to shake.

She wanted to curse out loud, she wanted to throw the glass against the wall and she very much wanted to hit something or someone. Hard and repeatedly.

Instead, she downed her drink and refilled the glass.

Perhaps if she got wasted enough, she'd manage to fall asleep and stay asleep without any nightmares.

That was what she hoped, at any rate.

Keitaro chuckled humourlessly, staring down into his almost empty wallet, shaking his head as a sign that he wouldn't play another game. He left the blackjack table considerably poorer then he had arrived, but figured that it was all part of the Las Vegas experience to waste money on gambling.

Instead, he headed for the bar, intending to use up the last of his money on his final drink for the evening. The complimentary drinks that had arrived while he was playing had left him feeling comfortably tipsy. But he figured that one final drink would really hit the spot right about now.

He seated himself at the bar and asked the bartender for a Marguerita, sipping absently from it as he turned around and looked out over the casino/bar/hotel that he found himself seated in.

"What an odd place..." he muttered in his native language. Talking English all the time was a severe pain in the ass, but at least it helped him overcome the language barrier. Keitaro chuckled, before he arrived in America, he had been under the impression that he spoke English. Unfortunately, he didn't. He knew English words and he could pronounce them somewhat correctly, but judging from the confused looks he'd been given, his grammar hadn't been altogether correct.

But after going to school, spending time with the natives and finally this trip for spring break, his grip on the language had improved significantly.

"Yeah, it is." a female voice responded in his native tongue, ending the statement with a tired sigh.

"Oh, hello." Keitaro started, glancing aside at the woman sitting next to him. He hadn't really noticed before as he'd only seen the back of her, but she was Japanese as well. Or at least had a Japanese heritage, but considering how well she spoke the language, she probably was Japanese as well, as opposed to Japanese-American or anything of the sort.

"Hi." she offered, tilting the glass she held back, downing it in one go without missing a beat or giving off even the most miniscule of signs that she'd just downed a glass of straight vodka.

Keitaro briefly debated asking if she was related to Kitsune, but managed to refrain from doing so. She was beautiful, but looked horribly weary and worn out. Her short black hair hung limply and listlessly, her posture was slumped and her expression deceptively neutral, considering the raging storm of emotions that was surging within her eyes. He guessed that she was somewhat older then him, but not by more then a handful of years at the most. She was fit, very fit, as was clearly evident by the tight black sweater and dark blue slacks she was wearing. The same clothes, also revealed that while fit, she also had all the proper female curves in generous proportions, although she wasn't quite as generously endowed as Mutsumi.

For some reason, Keitaro felt oddly comfortable around her. Ordinarily, pretty women made him feel out of place and highly nervous, but that didn't occur now. He felt normal, weather that was due to what he had been drinking or some other reason was hard to tell. He allowed a faint smile to grace his lips, as he returned to his study of the room.

"Is this your first time in America?" the woman inquired.

"Yeah. Though I've been living here for a while by now." he replied. "You?"

"I visit from time to time." she replied after a few moments.

"Oh? Got relatives here?" Keitaro inquired. "I'm Keitaro, by the way." he added, forgoing his family name. He wondered if he should add that along to his introduction as well once he realized that he'd left it out, but shrugged it off. He must have gotten more used to the informal way of life here then he'd thought, if he had started introducing himself by merely his first name.

"Not that I know of. I travel a lot for work." she replied. "Sendo Kirika." she introduced herself, giving the name that was on the passport she used to enter the country this time.

"Nice to meet you, Kirika." Keitaro responded, raising his glass and taking a sip from it.

"Yeah. It's good to hear Japanese again. All this chattering in English was starting to get on my nerves." Kirika commented, refilling her glass and downing another glass of what was apparently straight vodka. "Well, nice to meet you and all, but I had better stop drinking and get back to my room before I do something I'll regret." she said, put glass and bottle down onto the counter, putting a few bills underneath the glass before she stood up. See you around. she finished in English, before striding off in a fairly controlled manner, obviously trying to fight off the effects of what she had been drinking.

Yeah, bye. Keitaro added to her departing back, before turning around in his seat and taking another sip from his drink. He supposed that he had better follow her example and make trails back to the hotel his group was staying at. He'd gotten separated from his friends earlier, but hadn't allowed that to dampen his mood. Instead, he had hit the town on his own.

He finished his drink, paid for himself, added a bit of tip and then walked out, hesitating for a few moments before he recalled in which direction his hotel was at and trotted off towards it.

It was a nice night he though, a faint breeze making its way down to the busy night streets of Las Vegas. People were laughing, couples were walking side-by-side, depressed individuals were staggering forward with shell-shocked expressions on their faces, five thugs were beating up a woman in an alley, cars were cruising by, people were walking their dogs...

Hold the phone.

Five thugs were beating up a woman in an alley?

Keitaro spun around and darted back, turning the corner and staring into the alley.

Well, five thugs beating up a woman in an alley might have been a somewhat overly strong term, as the woman was giving at least as good as she got. Three other goons were already downed, completely out for the count, despite the woman's drunken performance. /Kirika!/ Keitaro mentally shouted, as the shadows peeled back a bit as a car passed by on the street behind him, throwing some more light into the alley.

Hesitating for a few moments, he finally managed to stagger forward and kick the shin of one thug, before grabbing his shoulders and throwing him aside. Kirika was not so kind, crushing the throat of another with a brutal kick, before ducking down and slamming her elbow into his groin with deadly grace. One of the thugs turned his attention to Keitaro, while the remaining two ganged up on Kirika.

Keitaro yelped with fright as he saw that his opponent held a knife, then gasped with shock and groaned with pain, as the knife entered his lower torso. He grabbed the mans wrists, kicked at his kneecaps and as the larger man went down, Keitaro dove forward and drove his right knee into the mans groin. Kirika soaked a punch to her left shoulder, then slammed a foot up at the mans groin, causing him to bend over, at which point she slammed a knee up in his face and proceeded to slam an elbow down at his neck, before spinning around and delivering a kick to the stomach at the last man standing.

The one Keitaro had thrown aside was in the process of getting back to his feet, when Kirika jumped up and slammed both of her feet down at the back of his head, crushing him into the ground. She leapt up again, then slammed her feet back down at the small of his back. With her opponent completely taken out of action by her brutal moves, she moved over to the last guy Keitaro had faced and stomped down on his throat, causing his cries of pain to turn into disgusting-sounding gargling, while desperately fighting for air.

"You all right?" Kirika slurred as she bent down, then spotted the bloodied knife on the ground and Keitaro holding one of his hands against his stomach. "Oh. Guess not, huh?" she commented and reached into her purse, removing a vial, a wad of gauze and a roll of duct tape. She expertly tore his t-shirt apart around the knife wound and pushed the cloth out of the way, gazing intently at it.

It was a shallow wound, she guessed judging by the size of the wound. She glanced down at the knife and nodded to herself, it was only the tip of the blade that was stained with blood. Keitaro had backed off, although not quite fast enough to avoid getting injured. She grabbed the knife by the blade and shoved the handle into his mouth.

"Bite down on this." she instructed him, then splashed the contents of the vial at the wound, before pressing the gauze against his wound and duct taping it in place while Keitaro furiously bit down on the handle of the knife, trying to resist the urge to roar out loud with pain. She winced in sympathy, that shit from the vial stung like hell. Whatever the fuck it was. She was no chemist or doctor, but she had been told that the foul-smelling contents of those vials would disinfect and speed up the healing of just about anything.

"That'll tide you over for a while." Kirika informed him, then slowly got up, wincing a bit as she tried to avoid putting weight on her left leg and failed to manage without doing so. "Damn it!" she hissed and took a slow, deep breath. "Fuckwits." she added.

"Who... Who were those guys?" Keitaro asked, spitting out the knife.

"No idea. One of them tackled me into the alley, then they all jumped me. They weren't very good, so I'm guessing regular robbery or possibly a rape attempt." Kirika admitted with a faint shrug. "Come on. We'd better get out of here." she added and helped him get to his feet. Keitaro moaned and groaned, but thankfully enough, felt better by the second as his incredible constitution worked overtime to patch up his damaged body and flush it of the exhaustion he felt after the brief brawl.

"Wouldn't it be better to wait and call the police?" Keitaro inquired, to which Kirika laughed a humourless laugh.

"I dunno about you, but I have no great desire to spend the rest of my evening being questioned by the police. You do whatever you want, but I'm not sticking around." Kirika replied. Keitaro hesitated for a while, but eventually decided to follow the older woman's example and make himself scarce.

"I guess you have a point." Keitaro conceded and started walking.

"Do you want me to take you to a doctor? I know a good underground one, he'll patch you up real good and the police won't ever hear of it." Kirika offered.

"No need. I heal fast." Keitaro responded and got another humourless chuckle in response.

"Of course you do." Kirika said. "Men. Macho to the death." she snorted under her breath. Well, he wasn't in any real danger, she guessed. But for some odd reason, she found herself worried about this complete stranger and couldn't prevent herself from fussing a bit over a wound that she ordinarily wouldn't even acknowledge.

"I do!" Keitaro insisted. "In a week, there won't even be a scar left." he added.

"Sure..." Kirika chuckled, disbelief plain in her voice. "Come on. I was planning to stop drinking for the night, but I'll buy you a drink. It's not every day that a damsel in distress has a knight coming to her rescue. Especially not in these times. And tuck that t-shirt back in." she added.

Keitaro did as she said, retucking his t-shirt into his pants. A little creative twisting and pulling of the torn garment, managed to hide the injury itself, while there was no hiding that the t-shirt was irrevocably ruined. There was no hiding the blood stain either.

"Well, no helping it, I suppose." Kirika said and shrugged out of her sweater, revealing a tight black t-shirt underneath it. She handed him her sweater. "Here, put this on." she instructed him and helped him get into the garment. It didn't fit all that well and was horribly small on him, but at least it hid the torn t-shirt and blood stains.

Kirika led them off the street they had been on, moving away a couple of blocks, before stopping at a hotel where they quickly located the bar. The one celebratory drink, turned into five, before the two of them staggered out of there and was about to say good bye, when they discovered that both of them were staying at the same hotel.

They walked together to the hotel and shared an elevator up to the fourteenth floor, where Keitaro got off and wobbled to his room, while Kirika continued up to hers on the seventeenth.

And that would have been it, had fate not decided to further interfere with their lives.

"Wow. You weren't kidding when you said that you healed fast." a female voice commented and Keitaro removed the towel from his head, fumbling with the glasses tucked into his swim trunks for a moment, before he managed to liberate them and put them on.

"Ah, Kirika. Hello." he greeted her, then looked down at the side of his stomach, where the knife wound had turned into a very faint scar, in just two days. "Yeah. I'm not sure why, but it's been like this ever since puberty. Before that, I healed just like everyone else. But sometime after my voice changed, so did the rate at which my body heals." he explained, then looked up and felt his throat constrict as his gaze fell on Kirika.

Kirika dressed in a bikini.

It wasn't particularly skimpy, the colour was a modest dark blue and there was a towel slung across her shoulders. She was dry, so she obviously hadn't been in the water yet. But despite the fact that there were plenty of more curvy women around, most wearing skimpier apparel then Kirika, some of them still wet from the water, it was just something about this one woman that made him react on some deep level, some level he couldn't really fathom.

He wasn't even certain that he was attracted to her! Sure, she was an attractive woman, he could see that. Heck, anyone with functional eyes could see that! But he didn't feel that flustered tingling confusion that usually accompanied his encounters with attractive women. Usually, he felt distinctly different whenever he was around a beautiful woman, but he didn't now. He felt... Comfortable around Kirika.

Perhaps it was that odd confidence which she possessed. He had never met anyone, who appeared so sure of herself as Kirika did right then.

Perhaps it was something else. All he knew was that for some reason, if felt as if he knew her, had known her for all his life.

"Must be handy. I wish I had whatever it is you've got." was all she said to that, glancing down at her left leg, which still hurt like hell whenever she put too much weight on it. The bruise wasn't all that appealing to her either.

"Does it still hurt?" Keitaro asked, gazing with worry plainly evident in his eyes at the bruised area of her leg.

"It's not too bad." Kirika replied, waving off his concern, though she couldn't help but feel pleased at the fact that this young man obviously cared. She had seen him down at the pool through her binoculars for the last two days and today, she couldn't control herself any longer. She had to go down to the pool and talk to him.

She glanced covertly at him again, ranting mentally against herself and her lack of self-discipline. This young man had seen her fight, he could identify her. So why the heck wasn't she trying to get as far away from him as possible? And failing that, why wasn't she planning how to terminate him before he could reveal what he knew?

He wasn't even her type!

Granted, he was moderately handsome and somewhat fit. But she tended to prefer broad-shouldered men at least a head taller then herself who were a lot more fit then Keitaro was. The glasses, she didn't mind, though they did somewhat remind her of that basta...

She blinked.

That was who he reminded her of, she realized. He was shorter, younger and appeared to have a brain somewhat more grounded in reality, but he reminded her a great deal about him. For a few moments, she actually started seriously considering blowing his brains out after all, but after taking a deep breath, she calmed down and refocused herself.

He was ancient history by now, she shouldn't, no, WOULDN'T, let him ruin her life any longer. It was bad enough with his complete incapability to take anything seriously. The fact that he couldn't keep his paws of Kirika's best friend from college and seemed to believe that he was gods gift to women, whenever he actually noticed that there were other human beings on the planet then himself, had pushed her into running away and winding up with the life she now lived.

She didn't feel that hopeless immensely overwhelming attraction to Keitaro that she had to him, in fact, she wasn't even sure if what she felt was attraction at all! But for some odd reason, she found herself wanting to be near Keitaro, wanted to tell him things about herself and have him tell her things about himself. He was... Comfortable. She felt like she'd known him all her life and that was a very pleasant feeling, she realized.

She didn't have friends any longer, she had enemies, marks, bystanders, colleagues, superiors and subordinates. That was it. She hadn't seen any of her family in years, though she knew that mom often tried to contact her. How that old bat managed to track her general whereabouts down so often, was a big fucking mystery, but so far, she'd managed to avoid her. She'd left all her old friends behind when she ran away and she hadn't gotten any new ones.

She never knew how much she'd missed the feeling of companionship, this feeling of belonging, until now. Being around Keitaro was like finally regaining a piece of herself she'd thought long lost.

She couldn't take her eyes off him and her gaze was both warm and affectionate as the two of them spent the rest of the day together. When the day neared the end, the two of them agreed to met up at the hotel restaurant for supper, which was just as pleasant as spending the day together had been.

At the end of it, Kirika couldn't help herself from giving Keitaro a quick little kiss. It was quick and rather chaste, but it was on the lips and she couldn't get it out of her mind for the rest of the night, pondering the warm and comfortable sensations as she laid alone in her bed, trying to fall asleep.

The two of them got together the day afterwards as well, spending the day sight-seeing together. Kirika couldn't help herself and constantly found herself holding hands, leaning against Keitaro and hugging him. As the two of them visited an amusement park, they kissed again on the Ferris wheel and yet still again after visiting a haunted house. When they wrapped their visit up by riding the tunnel of love, the two of them progressed from kissing to making out.

/Wow./ Keitaro thought as the two of them rode a taxi back to their hotel. He still couldn't get over the fact that he hadn't succumbed to any of his usual hysteric habits when around this fine example of a woman. He'd never been able to handle females of any brand, shape or manner, but he'd been particularly bad around beautiful ones. And Kirika was a very beautiful woman.

Was it because she was a few years older then him? Was it because she seemed so much more confident and certain of herself then all the other girls he'd ever met? He didn't know and to tell the truth, he wasn't all that interested in it either. He was just happier then he could ever recall being, that he'd managed to stay on his best behaviour around her, because the more time the two of them spent together, the more certain Keitaro became that this was the sort of woman he wanted to have at his side for the rest of his life.

With Kirika by his side, he didn't even particularly care about his promised girl any longer. He did feel kind of bad about being with Kirika, seeing as how he'd confessed to Naru and with the way Mutsumi seemed interested in him. But being with Kirika, made all such concerns seem so insignificant. He still couldn't get over how comfortable it felt being with her. He could talk with her, he could hold her hand without going into panic-mode and he could kiss her, without fainting and evicting vast amounts of blood from his nose.

And she had yet to hit him, which was an incredibly nice change from how things usually worked out for him around women!

He really didn't want to leave, but he only had one more day here, before he would have to go back to school and his part-time job. He sighed morosely.

"What's the matter, Keitaro?" Kirika asked, looking concernedly over at him.

"I have to go back and I don't want to." Keitaro replied after a few moments.

"Go back?" Kirika asked, before berating herself for not realizing it. Of course, if he'd been a resident of Las Vegas, he wouldn't have been staying at a hotel, now would he? "Oh. ... When do you have to go?" she asked.

"The plane leaves tomorrow night." Keitaro replied.

"Going back to Japan?" Kirika wondered.

"No. I'm going to Los Angeles. I have a degree to finish. Then I'll go back to Japan." Keitaro replied, leaning back in his seat, staring up at the roof of the car.

"Oh." Kirika managed to get out, swallowing nervously. She didn't want him to leave either. He kept her demons at bay and had made her happier then she had been for more then a decade. She felt as if someone had shoved a knife straight into her heart and was twisting it around, she hastily wiped a tear from the corner of her left eye and beat down any others before they had a chance to appear. "Do you have to?"

"I don't want to." Keitaro replied evasively, before he sighed and shook his head. "But I have to." he finished.

Kirika nodded to herself, letting out a gentle sigh. All good things must come to an end, she supposed. But... Did they really have to? She was on infinitive leave, she hadn't said when she would be back and now, she wasn't all that sure that she actually wanted to go back at all. She had at least sixty days worth of vacation saved up and she had more money stashed away then she knew what to do with. She could quite easily live out the rest of her life with only the money she had saved up over the last couple of years. He might have to go, but there was nothing that said that she couldn't go with him.

The more she thought about it, the better it sounded. She could quit her job and go with him. She never had to work a day more in her life, unless she found something that she really wanted to do.

"Keitaro... Let's get married." she suggested, snuggling up against him and wrapping her arms around his torso.

"What?!" Keitaro exclaimed, shocked, stunned, surprised and utterly astonished at what he just thought he had heard Kirika say.

"Let's get married." Kirika repeated. "I'll come with you, I'll quit my job, whatever. Just please, let me come with you?" she asked, mentally disgusted with herself over just how needy she sounded. She had been a proud independent woman since her mid-teens and now she'd fallen so far that she actually pleaded with someone to let her stay around? But no matter how much she resented her current tone of voice and actions, she couldn't help herself. She wanted, no, she NEEDED to stay with Keitaro. That was all that mattered, everything else was inconsequential.

"But..." Keitaro started, before he fell silent as he contemplated the idea. There were a thousand reasons why he shouldn't marry a woman he'd just met.

But...

She was quite simply the most amazing woman he'd ever met. She was beautiful, she was funny and she felt like the missing piece of himself he hadn't even known was missing before he met her. She was the only non-related woman in his life he'd ever felt truly comfortable with, except for his mother, nobody else even came close. Even Kanako made him jittery from time to time. He lowered his head and sealed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss, which rapidly turned more serious. When they finally pulled away from each other, both of them were panting and had wildly dilated pupils.

"Yes." Keitaro announced.

"What?" Kirika asked in bewilderment, having completely forgotten about what she'd just asked Keitaro.

"Yes. Let's get married." Keitaro insisted, before kissing Kirika again.

Kirika did manage to suppress a chuckle, but she couldn't prevent herself from smirking in bemusement at herself. This wasn't exactly how she had pictured her wedding, back when she had still harboured such thoughts. She hadn't spared such a possibility even a thousand of a seconds thought for years until she'd asked Keitaro to marry her yesterday. Back when she still thought about such things, she had imagined a big western fairy-tale wedding. As she grew somewhat older, she'd imagined a more traditional Shinto ceremony. Then she'd met him and all such thoughts had been forever banished.

The Wedding Express, or something even remotely like it, had never featured in her fantasies. It had been too late to get a marriage certificate, so they'd went back to their hotel and she'd invited Keitaro up to her room. The impromptu lovemaking had been a federal disaster, but neither party really cared.

Keitaro had turned out to be a virgin and she hadn't had sex for the last seven years. Her last and also first time, had been in the line of duty to maintain her cover. The foreplay had been non-existent and the act itself was over in less then half a minute. It hadn't been very good for either party, but they had been too excited to care overly much. But cuddling up naked against a naked Keitaro afterwards, had been very pleasant. Certainly much more enjoyable then cuddling up to somebody she knew worked for the opposition and who never would have gotten a second glance from her if it wasn't for the fact that he had the keycard she needed.

Neither had said much, but neither had slept at first either. The two of them had cuddled up to each other throughout most of the night, before they'd both gotten a few measly hours of sleep before morning.

Getting a marriage license and rings hadn't been too much of a bother and after asking the driver where they could be married the quickest, he'd taken them here, to The Wedding Express.

After turning over the license, their passports and paid for the ceremony, they'd been ushered before a minister who proceeded to marry them in record time.

"We're here today to join these two people in holy matrimony. Do you?" he said, looking over at Keitaro.

"Uh, yes?" Keitaro replied hesitantly.

"Do you?" the minister asked, looking over at Kirika.

"Yes." she replied.

"Any protests? ... No? Good. Exchange rings. ... ... ... I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride." the minister announced and the newlyweds kissed. "Excellent! Congratulations! Your marriage certificate is being printed right now. I wish you both the best of luck." the minister said and shook both their hands, before he left, leaving a very surprised newlywed couple standing with surprised expressions on their faces.

"Well. It was fast, no doubt about that." Keitaro eventually stated.

"Yeah." Kirika agreed, feeling somewhat cheated. While she had wanted to get married quickly, this was a little more quick then she had first imagined.

The clerk at the reception smiled and congratulated the two of them as they returned to the reception and got their passports back.

"How will you do with the names?" she asked, looking up at Keitaro and Kirika.

"I kinda like Sendo." Keitaro said after a few moments, feeling slightly rebellious. He still hadn't quite forgiven his parents for kicking him out and he knew that this would annoy the heck out of them. That crap about not being able to afford to house him during his studies was pure bullshit, the store was and had been doing more then fine. Kirika shrugged uncaringly. It wasn't her real name, but it'd work well enough. The identity was a solid one and she could probably arrange so that she could keep it, sort of a retirement bonus or something.

"Sendo works." Kirika agreed and the clerk nodded, scribbling on the marriage certificate, before she put it into a laminator, where it came out covered in warm plastic half a minute later.

"Well, Mr and Mrs Sendo, congratulations again." the clerk said as she handed them their certificate, a receipt and a copy of the marriage license.

"Thank you." the two of them chorused, before they left and hailed another cab, to take them back to the hotel. The lovemaking was much more satisfying this time and they spent the remainder of the day in bed, leaving only to use the facilities and once evening approached, to pack for the departure.

Keitaro received quite a lot of ribbing as he was united with his friends from school at the airport, not having seen very much of them after meeting Kirika. But he endured the teasing with smiles and chuckles. Though the appreciative looks directed at Kirika strained his patience somewhat, the envious ones directed at him didn't affect him at all. He knew that he was a lucky man to have married a woman like Kirika.

Kirika bought a ticket for herself and upgraded Keitaro's ticket as well, arranging so that they could sit together on the flight to Los Angeles.

"K Urashima?!" Kirika exclaimed in shock, horror and astonishment as Keitaro stopped in front of the door to the apartment he lived in, unlocking it. "Oh Kami-sama!" she added and lost every single speck of colour in her face. Her knees wobbled and if it wasn't for Keitaro's support, she'd have crumpled to the ground, her gaze locked onto the name-plate on the door. "Your last name is Urashima?" she asked in a hoarse whisper.

"Kirika? What's wrong?!" Keitaro asked, concern radiating from every single fibre of his being, as he helped Kirika into his apartment, lowering her down on a couch.

"Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no." Kirika chanted and bent forward, hiding her face in her hands. "Oh no!" she gasped and flew to her feet, staring with wide eyes at Keitaro. "We did... But we're... You're my... Oh no!"

"Kirika?! What's wrong? You're starting to scare me." Keitaro admitted as he observed his new wife falling all to pieces.

Kirika paced back and forth in front of the couch, emitting a frightened yelp as she spotted a picture of Keitaro and a group of girls she didn't recognize standing in front of the Hinata Sou, which she did recognize, on the table next to the couch. She yelped again, as she spotted a picture of her older sister and her husband, holding baby Kanako with little Keitaro standing next to his mother, holding on to her left leg for support as he directed a curious gaze at Kanako in his mothers arms. She'd seen that picture before, before she left home.

"Oh, Kami-sama..." Kirika whispered under her breath, before she turned to look at Keitaro. She hadn't seen him since he was eight and no pictures of him since he turned eleven, so it wasn't all that odd that she hadn't recognized him before. But now that she knew who he was, she could still see some of the boy she used to know in the man she now knew rather intimately. She felt her stomach heave and just barely managed to prevent herself from vomiting right then and there. "Oh, I think I'm going to be sick..." she mumbled.

"Kirika. Please, tell me what's wrong! You're really freaking me out here!" Keitaro pleaded with his wife.

"Keitaro... Little Kei-kun..." she said, mostly to herself as she observed him with a tilted head. She swallowed nervously several times, before she opened her mouth again. "I never told you what I used to do for a living. Keitaro, I'm... A spy, of sorts. I do, or well, I did, a lot of things which weren't strictly legal and as such, I use several false identities to protect myself and the people I wo-, used to, work for. Sendo Kirika isn't my real name." she revealed and swallowed again. "My real name, is Urashima Haruka. I'm your..." she started and hesitated for a few moments, wondering what term to use. "Aunt." she finished in a strained tone of voice.

"The aunt who vanished ten years ago?" Keitaro started with a bewildered expression, blinking several times before he shot out of the couch with a happy expression. "Aunt Haruka! Mother and Grandmother will be so happy to hear that you're not dead!" he exclaimed and enfolded her in a friendly hug. "Oh happy..." he started, only to trail off as realization started to come to him. He slowly pulled back a bit, though his arms were still around her. "You're my aunt..." he said in a leaden voice and the woman he now knew was really named Haruka nodded. "You're my wife..." he continued and Haruka nodded again. "I'm married to my mothers sister." he finished and Haruka nodded again, shedding a few tears as Keitaro slowly stepped away from her and slumped into the couch, staring up at Haruka with a shocked expression.

"I can't believe that I didn't check your passport, did a background check or something..." Haruka said. "I signed the license first and never looked at it after you'd signed it. Heck, I didn't even look at the marriage certificate." she continued and felt how a steady stream of tears trailed down her cheeks.

"I've made love to my aunt..." Keitaro mumbled to himself.

"Sendo Kirika... I was on a vacation, god dammit! Why didn't I use my real name to introduce myself!" Haruka berated herself out loud. "Why didn't I ask about your last name?!" she added and clenched her fists.

"We've... We're... What are we going to do?" Keitaro asked morosely.

"We're getting this marriage annulled. I'm going to take a whole fistful of morning-after-pills. Then we're never ever going to tell anyone about this." Haruka replied.

"Yeah... Yeah..." Keitaro agreed after a few moments, starting to calm down before he suddenly panicked. "Oh, fuck! We had unprotected sex." he yelped. He hadn't even thought about that or worried about the possible consequences. At first, he'd been too excited to worry about that. After their first time, too ecstatic and eager to experience utter bliss again.

"Yeah, hence the morning-after-pills." Haruka agreed.

"It's several mornings after. Will that work?" Keitaro asked worriedly.

"I've got no idea." Haruka admitted. "Hell, I'm so messed up right now that I couldn't even tell you if I've been ovulating or not. I'm just so... We're so... How could I have been so stupid?!" she wailed and started sobbing all out, the flood of tears worsening several times over.

Keitaro automatically reached out and drew his wife into a comforting embrace, before he realized just who it was that he was hugging and pushed her away, trembling and shivering furiously. He started crying himself and Haruka's sobbing grew worse after he'd pushed her away.

Even if someone had offered him a billion dollars, he couldn't have told them what he was feeling or thinking right now. Emotions rushed past too quickly for him to properly identify them, his thoughts were a muddled mess that made no sense whatsoever. He wanted to run away, he wanted to pull Haruka into his arms, he wanted to take a long shower and scrub himself off, he wanted to kiss the woman he loved and had married, he wanted to vomit, he wanted to tell his mother that Haruka was alive, he wanted to forget that the last week had ever happened, he wanted to die, he wanted to live, he wanted... He wanted...

He didn't know what he wanted right now.

But getting completely plastered started sounding like a better and better idea by the second.

The End! ( For now... )

Hearken unto the words of Takamura-sama, Lord of Perverts

Surprised the heck outta ya, didn't I? VERY EVIL AND EXTREMLY SATISFIED GRIN

Heh, y'know, I was going to sit down and write my first Keitaro/Shinobu-fic in the fall of 2004, but was side-tracked into starting on this fic. I was feeling inspired and eager to get started on some Keitaro/Shinobu goodness, starting with writing the author notes as I felt like rambling a bit first about the pairing in question. During my random ramblings in those notes, I digressed into writing a paragraph about my thoughts regarding a Keitaro/Haruka fic. I got so pumped from the darkish qualities of that idea, so instead of starting to write on the Keitaro/Shinobu-fic, I got started on this one first. The Keitaro/Shinobu fic was started on back then as well, so don't you start nagging at me to post it, it'll show up when I'm satisfied enough with it.

Keitaro/Haruka... A controversial match, but what the heck, I've never been afraid of a bit of controversy before, so bring it on. I'll be eagerly awaiting the flames, 'Are you completely bonkers?'-mails, death threats to put this aside in order to release more chapters of "Tears of Blood", "It's not enough", "Married with Princess", "Su Kaolla - With a license to thrill", "Nabiki - Master of Anything Goes" and whatnot.

Keitaro/Haruka... The only Keitaro-pairings which has as much or more explosive potential, are Keitaro/Kanako and Keitaro/Kentaro. But I'm already doing the first and will quite happily leave the second for the same people who get their jollies from writing Naruto/Sasuke, Echizen/Momoshiro, Ranma/Ryoga, Shinji/Kaworu and Hikaru/Akira couplings. It just doesn't float my boat, so I'll leave that one alone. At least for now, though one never knows what might happen in the future. :)

Keitaro/Haruka... The wimp of a Ronin and the smoking queen of poker-faces might not seem a likely couple at first. Heck, it still doesn't seem like a likely couple to me and I'm actually writing this damn fic! But what the hell, I've never backed down from a challenge before and I'm certainly not going to stop now! The potential for a nice'n juicy darkfic was just too bloody tempting for my aberrant self to ignore any longer. In MwP, I went the other way and focused more on humour then the darker aspects of such a union. Here, I'm free to indulge myself in a terrific binge on angst, wildly clashing emotions, regret and horrified realisations.

Keitaro/Haruka... If your mind cannot cope with such a thing and what you've read so far hasn't made you stop reading, then I guess no further warning will make you steer away from this fic anyway, so I'm not even going to bother. Well, if you're still reading, I'm guessing you can cope or are just perversely curious to see what's going to happen anyway. :)

The Deviant Viking, shutting up