Chapter 7 — Giving In
Draco worried about Astoria as the sun began to set and she still wasn't back. Perhaps she had run away, decided Draco was too much to handle. And, Draco tried to convince himself, that would be for the best. All the while, he paced his room, listening for the sound of her footsteps coming up the stairs, his heart thumping unevenly from the nerves that were beginning to, once again, consume him.
When he finally heard her coming up the stairs, he lept to his feet and threw open his door to greet her out of sheer relief that she had returned. However, before he got a chance to welcome her back to the manor and to, once again, apologize for his behavior, he was stopped in his tracks by the look in her face. It was unfamiliar to him. Her dark eyes, which were usually filled with kindness and sympathy, were now filled to the brim with something fiery and smoldering. Her usually soft features were now sharp and fierce.
"Astoria, what's—"
But his words were lost in his throat as she strode up to him, a look of determination set in her seductive stride. Then, out of nowhere, she kissed him. She kissed him with such strength and intensity that he was knocked backwards against the wall. Suddenly, she was everywhere on him. Kissing his neck, his jawline, one hand in his hair, one hand caress further and further down his chest and stomach until it reached his belt buckle—
"Astoria, wait—"
"No," she whisper against his neck. "I don't have time to wait."
It was everything Draco had wanted for so long, and yet to give in to this strange, new side of Astoria meant letting himself take advantage of a girl who was pure— far too pure for a murderer.
"Astoria—" he tried again.
"What?" she demanded breathlessly, her movement coming to a halting stop.
"We can't do this," said Draco. "You… you don't know who I am. You don't understand."
"You think I don't understand who you are?" said Astoria and she took a step back. "I watched them bring you into St. Mungo's, Draco. I watched you scream through your nightmares, and last night I watched you on the brink of madness. I know exactly who you are and I don't care."
"Even if you can forgive all that, you can't forgive— you can't possibly forgive what I've done. In the past," Draco murmured, looking anyway but at her.
"You were a Death Eater," she said bluntly. "I know that. Everyone knows that. I don't care."
Draco knew he should have told her the truth then, but as she came towards him, more tenderly than before, he had no choice but to sink into her arms. He wanted her too badly and had been fighting it for too long. Together, they walked into his bedroom, closing the door behind them.
Then, Astoria was kissing him again. Her lips were hot against his, her tongue caressing his tongue in a way that sent shivers down his spine. He let himself go. He let his hands wander all over her body— up and down her back, cupping her breast in his hand, squeezing her hips and as she pulsated against him. Suddenly she was ripping at his clothes. She removed his robe easily enough and then began ripping the buttons on his shirt. When she had removed this, she ran her hands up and down his chest. Draco shivered. Then, he unrobed her and removed her blouse to reveal a thin camisole that emphasized the shape of her breasts perfectly. Draco kissed them through the fabric and she moaned, leaning her head back. Even as he bit down softly on the erect nipples, causing her to gasp with mingled shock and pleasure, she was unbuckling his pants and pulling them down along with his briefs below his waist, freeing his erection. He now pumped furiously against Astoria's thigh and they fell back onto his bed.
Nothing could stop Draco now. He felt himself to be a wild beast. He needed Astoria with every cell in his body. He tore at the camisole and shimmied down her skirt. She was wearing nothing but panties now. He felt himself grow wilder and began lick and sucking at her nipples until she was writhing with pleasure, but he held her to him as he licked every inch of her. Then, unable to stand it any longer, he ripped off her panties and saw the wetness between her legs.
Draco looked into Astoria's eyes and she still had the fierce, fiery expression burning within them. Keeping eye contact with her, he slipped one finger inside of her. She gasped and closed her eyes, biting her lip. He pushed another one in. She was tight, but now she was moaning, her face flushed. Draco couldn't wait a moment longer. Hiking her legs up, he let the end of his cock tease her wet, warm surface. It took all his restraint not to finish, right then and there. Instead, he pulsed slowly, breathing through the waves of pleasure crashing over him, making the tight, wet opening wider and wetter for him until—
Astoria gasped as Draco entered her. Draco moaned deeply, collapsing on her as he tried to forestall the mounting ecstasy that threatened to engulf him as he thrusted himself in and out of her. He grabbed her hair and moving her face towards his, where he forced his tongue inside her mouth. He couldn't go slow now, not anymore. He found himself pounding her into the bed until, as if from a distance, he heard himself cry aloud as he reached a climax that sent electric currents through his body.
He collapsed on top of her, his face buried in her neck as he slowly pulled himself out her. He was aware of nothing else in the world but her legs warm on either side of him, her breasts at his finger tips, and the thundering of his own, pounding heart.
Astoria fell asleep in Draco's bed that night with no intention of leaving. For the first time in her life, she felt powerful. She had always felt weak— controlled by her illness. Now Draco was her's and she knew that it was because she had made it so. She wondered, even now, if she might be pregnant. Yet, guilt plagued her. She did love Draco and didn't want to hurt him. What if he didn't want a baby? She pacified herself by internally promising to breech the subject, somehow, in the morning.
When she awoke however, she was greeted by a sensation that drove the thought of pregnancy from her mind as she was overcome by arousal. Draco was hard against her naked backside, grinding slowly against her in his sleep. She wrapped her hands around his half-hard cock and felt it stiffen even more. Desire flooded her senses. Slowly, she lowered herself on the bed and placed her mouth around his cock, tasting it, letting her tongue explore it. She heard Draco moan in his sleep, stirring slightly. Then, she began to suck it harder and Draco awoke.
"Astoria—" he gasped, but could say no more as he was overcome with pleasure.
As Astoria worked her mouth on his cock more vigorously, she felt him grab her hair, moaning with pleasure, forcing her to go down further. She gagged slightly, the lack of oxygen making her as aroused as it made her dizzy. He let out a gasp of ecstasy and then released her. She gasped for breath but then fell back down upon him, working her mouth more vigorously than ever. He breathing was becoming quicker and quicker and then he grabbed her hair again, forcing her up and down quickly on his cock.
She wiped her mouth and fell upon him. They were both panting now. Then he brought her face to his and kissed her. Slowly, he worked his way down, kissing her neck so that shivered, sucking on her nipples so hard that she squirmed with the overwhelming pleasure of it. But he held her tight to him and she was grateful for that. Then, grabbing her ass, his face came to lay between her legs. Astoria gasped as he began to lick and tease her. Sucking on her clit and fingering the opening he had penetrated last night. Astoria cried out. She needed him right now. He moved upwards, taking her face in his hands and kissing her. She could taste herself on his breath. He chuckled slightly as they kissed.
"What is it?" Astoria asked breathlessly.
"It turns out I just can't get enough of you," Draco replied, and Astoria could feel the tip of his penis teasing the opening of her vagina again.
She moaned. "Yes," she said, giving him permission to enter her.
Again, he was moving inside her. It was slower this time, less urgent, and all the more arousing for it. She felt he was teasing her and she wanted to beg him to fuck her, beg him to pound her into the bed. She was so insatiable that she was rising to meet his thrusts.
"You want control?" he whispered in a low voice in her ear. Then he flipped her over so that she was on top of him. Disoriented, it took her a moment to find the rhythm. Then she was bouncing up and down on top of him, his hands clenched tightly around her waist.
"Kiss me," he begged her and she obliged. As their mouths met and tongue caressed one another, Draco wrapped his arms around her body, moaning. Now he was thrusting up into her, unable to control himself. He was all over her— one hand squeezing her ass, the other clawing her back, his mouth working over her erect nipples. Suddenly the pleasure overpowered her and her vision blurred and she cried out in pure, uncontrollable ecstasy. Draco was crying out too and she felt again the sensation of the warm cum rising inside her. Then, as suddenly as the pleasure began, her world went black….
Chapter 8 — Deception
"Astoria? Astoria?"
Draco felt panic rising in his throat like bile as he watched Astoria slump, unconscious, on the bed.
"Astoria?" he called to her again, his voice cracking. In his head he could see bodies, nothing but dead, tortured bodies all around him. He felt light-headed. Why did everything he touch become ruined—
Suddenly Astoria began to stir, her dark eyes fluttering open. For a moment her gaze remained unfocused, then she took in Draco's worried face, looming above her.
"Oh," she said faintly, then frowned, "oh."
"Astoria, are you all right?" Draco asked, trying to keep his voice steady. "Are you hurt?"
"No— no, not hurt," she smiled a little ruefully. "Just embarrassed."
"Embarrassed?" Draco could not take in the meaning of the word.
"I may have been a little— uh— over-hasty in my, erm, pursuits this morning," said Astoria. "I guess I was still a little tired. And I'm pretty hungry. I didn't have dinner last night, you see."
"Hungry," Draco repeated, dully, trying to reaffirm in his head that she was okay. She wasn't dying in his arms like every other ghost that haunted his nightmares.
"Yes." she nodded, carressing Draco's face. "Although, don't get me wrong, it was very good. Perhaps a little too good, I suppose."
"I'm sorry," Draco mumbled.
"No! Don't be!" she said. "I'm sorry for pushing my limits. But perhaps we should have breakfast first? Before we go for another round?"
Draco took in her beautiful face, to which color was slowly returning.
"Yes," he said finally. "Breakfast."
By the time breakfast was brought up to Draco's room by a servant, Astoria had made herself look halfway decent by putting on a slip. Still, the servant gave her a telling look as she laid the breakfast out on a sitting table by the window.
"My, my, I bet the servant's hall will a filled to the brim with gossip this morning," Astoria said, sitting at the table.
Draco ignored this remark.
"You're sure you're all right?" he asked her for the sixth time.
"Yes, Draco, I'm fine," she lied again, nibbling unabashed on some toast.
Astoria wasn't sure why she was lying to Draco. She told herself that she would tell him about her condition, yet here was a golden opportunity to go in detail about her affliction and why she had just (humiliatingly) passed out during the middle of sex, and she was lying to Draco's face. As much as she pretended that now, perhaps, wasn't the best time to tell him— was there ever a good time to tell the man you're sleeping with that your death was going to come 50 years early? At least? Her true fear was that, once she told him, he would want no part of her life as it was bound to be messy. He'd want to avoid the mess, the potential for heartache and her dreams of being with Draco— of marrying him, having his children— would be obliterated instantly. Couldn't she live in her fantasy world for just a little while longer?
Draco sat across from and began to eat, but paid little attention to what he was putting in his mouth. He continued to stare at Astoria.
"Draco, honestly, I'm not going to drop dead right this minute," Astoria said, sarcastically, but with a little dark joke to herself. Then she saw Draco's hands begin to shake and remembered that, as unethical as it was now, he was still her patient.
"Draco?" Astoria lowered her fork full of fried egg. "What's wrong?"
"You— you should be asking m-me—"
But Draco's whole voice was shaking. What had happened to this poor boy?
Dropping her fork, Astoria stood up and walked over to him. She put her arms around him and allowed Draco to hold her on his lap as he shook with suppressed sobs.
"Draco, I've often found in the health and healing profession, that the people who are most affected by afflictions are the one's who's loved ones are afflicted rather than the afflicted themselves," Astoria told him in a low, soothing voice. "There's no shame in being worried about me— but there's nothing to worry about. I—"
Astoria was it about to say "I promise" but it got caught in her throat. Draco seemed not to notice.
"I— I just can't lose you," he said, his voice thick and broken. "I know it might be too soon to say this and more than you're ready to hear— I'm not sure what last night and this morning meant to you— but I have to tell you. I love you, Astoria."
Astoria's heart was pounding. She stood up and faced him.
"You do?" she whispered.
"Yes," he said, his voice was more controlled now, but with a hint of bitterness in it.
Draco rose from his seat and began pacing up and down the large bedroom.
"That's what makes me so villainous… so heinous. Or, at least, one of the reasons."
"What are you talking about?" asked Astoria, bewildered.
"I lured you here under false pretenses. I knew how I felt about you and still I asked you to come here with me, all alone," he said, his voice brittle. "I told myself that I could control myself. That I would keep you safe from me and then I let last night happen—"
"'Let'?" Astoria repeated, raising her eyebrows. "Draco, I wanted last night to happen. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I love you too? Or do you think I sleep with all of my patients?"
Draco winced.
"But you don't understand." He shook his head, like a horse shaking away flies. "You deserve better. You don't understand what I am. And when I saw you like that— unconscious— all I could think was that I've ruined you. I've brought you into my life, into my bed and now you're going to fall just like the rest of them— and there's nothing, nothing I can do to stop it—"
Draco sat on the bed and put his head in his hands, as though trying to block out some ghastly image. Astoria's heart was leaping into her throat from the guilt of know one day there would be nothing Draco could do to stop her death. But this was not the moment to tell him that. Not when he was already so fragile and broken.
"Like who, Draco?" Astoria asked, sitting beside him on the bed. "Like the people you saw tortured and killed by Voldemort?"
"That's the point," he said, his voice shaking. "I didn't just see. I did. I tortured. And I almost… I almost—"
"But you didn't," said Astoria, firmly. "You didn't kill anyone. And I know that you only tortured on Voldemort's orders when you had to, when he was forcing you to. You didn't enjoy it. It didn't bring you sadistic pleasure—"
"I didn't have to, though," said Draco. "I could have died rather than torture innocent people. Could have sacrificed myself like… like Potter. But instead I pulled out my wand and caused people pain. Caused them agony. I can still hear their screams in my sleep. I stood by and watched so many people be murdered. I am coward. If you really do love me, you love a coward."
Astoria pulled Draco onto the bed so that he was curled up beside her, his head on her chest. She stroked his hair, holding back tears to hear of the things he had witness, the things he must live with.
"Draco, few people on this Earth could sacrifice their lives like that," Astoria said. "I know I couldn't have. But right here in this moment, I know that it isn't a coward I love. I love a good man. A good wizard. Good, because these things that you witnessed tear you apart everyday. Good, because you live with so much regret inside you. Good and brave, because you have the courage to get through each day after having been through such atrocities. You think of the people you tortured. How many times did Voldemort torture you?"
Draco winced as the name and did not answer. Instead, he said, "you really love me?"
"Yes, Draco," she said, her voice tender. "You think I accepted this job just for the money? I wanted to be near you."
He looked up at her, surprised. She laughed.
"What? You think you're the only one who can deceive?" she said.
"I feel so betrayed," said Draco, a hint of humor in his voice.
"I guess we'll have to make it up to each other," said Astoria.
Smiling for the first time since Astoria had met him, he kissed her lightly, lovingly.
Chapter 9 — Conversations
"But I don't understand."
They were sitting at the dinner table, finally dressed after a long day of being only partially clothed. Yet, Draco was undressing Astoria in his mind. He was greedy. Eager to get her naked again and in his bed. Still, he was very hungry after the events of last night and that morning. And it was nice to talk. He drank in Astoria's words like wine and took time to notice the intimate smile which she now showed him and the artful way she moved her hands while she talked.
"Understand what?" asked Draco, cutting into his pork.
"Well, I just never thought it would work out like this. So… neatly, you know?" said Astoria.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, I love you," she started with, blushing slightly.
"And I love you," he said quickly, desperate to get the phrase out as his heart pounded madly with hyper excitement.
"Yes, but I don't understand," said Astoria, flustered. "I came here, thinking that I was deceiving you by taking this job because, secretly, I couldn't bare to let you leave St. Mungo's and leave me behind. Secretly, I wanted to be up here alone with you. Secretly, I was falling for you. And then, I come to find out, that you think you're deceiving me by inviting me up here under the false pretenses of being your nurse, but really you're in love with me and—"
"And I couldn't bare to leave you behind at St. Mungo's," Draco finished. "Yes, that about sums it up."
"Well, I just…" Astoria's voice trailed away and Draco was amused to see that she genuinely looked puzzled. "I just don't understand how I got so lucky."
Draco rolled his eyes. "You didn't. Trust me. One of these days you're going see what a burden it is to love a Malfoy."
Draco winced at his own words and perhaps Astoria noticed, for she changed the subject.
"So tell me this," she said, pausing to take a sip of wine. "How many other girls have you deceived into being your nurse?"
"What?" Draco exclaimed. "None!"
Astoria raised an eyebrow.
"I didn't exactly have time to sleep with a parade of women while locked up in Azkaban," Draco said, this time resisting the urge to flinch.
"So you've never done it with anyone else?" Astoria asked, now taking care to stare at her plate while she pushed her potatoes from side to side.
"Done what?"
"Sex!" Astoria said, exasperatedly.
"What? Oh, well, I mean—" Draco felt himself growing rather hot around the collar.
"You have, haven't you?" said Astoria, and Draco saw she looked rather upset.
"Honestly? Once," Draco said, uncomfortable, cringing as he recalled the memory. "But if it helps to know it, it wasn't very good. I honestly don't even remember it that well. It was my seventh year. When the Dark Lord was at his peak of power. Hogwarts was an actual living hell. Even being a Slytherin, I hated it. Truly. Crabbe and Goyle were mad for it though— the torturing. Anyway, this girl— I don't know if you remember her from Hogwarts?— Pansy Parkinson kind of came on to me. As I said, it wasn't particularly good. Mostly just fumbling around and a quick finish. I needed a distraction. Something to ease the… the pain."
"Something to ease the pain?" Astoria repeated, her face impossible to read.
"Yes."
"I suppose it helps a bit," Astoria mumbled.
"You've… you've never done it before? Sex?" Draco asked. Now he was staring at his food, too.
"No. No, last night was my first time," Astoria said, and her voice sounded small and distant.
"I'm sorry, Astoria," said Draco, sincerely. "If I had known I would have tried to make it more… more special, I guess."
Astoria shrugged. "It wasn't your fault. I did come on to you, after all. I hope I was at least a little better than Pansy Parkinson."
Draco took Astoria's hand across the table and she looked into his eyes.
"Let me assure, it doesn't even compare," said Draco. "What we did last night and this morning was like… was like… well, it was indescribable. But it was by far the most pleasure I've ever experienced in my life. Or ever will experience, I think."
"We'll have to put that assessment to the test, won't we?"
With this taunt, Draco rose from his chair and lifted Astoria off her feet, only to lay her down at the far end of the dining room table, away from the food, so that he positioned himself in between her legs. Then, he began to kiss her, pumping his body against her so that she felt shockwaves of ecstasy course through her.
"Just out of curiosity," said Draco in between kissing her neck. "Why did you come onto me like that last night? Why so… urgent?"
Again, Astoria knew she should confess, but on the other hand she could barely think she was so consumed by her need for him.
"I got tired of waiting," she said in a low voice in his ear.
Astoria heard Draco make a noise somewhere between a moan and a gasp and he began to tear at the buttons of her blouse.
"Wait— Draco— we're in the middle of the dining room—" Astoria started, but Draco didn't seem to care.
"I can't wait either," he growled in her ear as his hand felt up her thigh and grabbed her ass. "I need you right here, right now."
With a flourish of his wand, Draco barred the doors at the front of the room and Astoria let herself succumb to pleasure as Draco groped and kissed her. Her shirt was torn open and her skirt was hiked up. Draco was kissing the cleavage that shown through the lacy bra she wore and soon that was ripped open too so that Draco could suck on and tease her nipples until Astoria was gasping for air. Meanwhile, his fingers were working between her legs, sliding in and out of her, making her wetter and wetter until—
Draco paused to hastily unbutton his pants. He pulled out his rock hard cock and teased her warm, wet opening, making her more and more ready for him until he thrust in with such force that Astoria cried out. Draco, too, moaned loudly and buried his face in Astoria's neck as he fucked her on the table, one hand caught up in her hair, the other squeezing her ass. Astoria dragged her fingernails across his back, sucking and biting as his neck as she rose to meet his powerful thrusts.
Suddenly, he pulled out of her and with one swift movement of his arms, he flipped her over so that she was lying face down on the pristine, white table clothe.
"Draco—" Astoria began, confused, but then she gasped as he began to take her again from behind. Both of his hands held so tightly to her waist it was almost painful as he pounded her against the table, moaning louder and louder with each thrust. Losing control entirely, he slapped her ass and Astoria cried out as a surprising surge of pleasure flowed through her.
Again Draco pulled out of her and picked her up off the table. Astoria's legs were weak with pleasure and she could barely stand. Draco's hands, too, were shaking as he removed the last of her clothes so that she stood naked in the middle of the dining room. Then he guided her down towards the floor. She could tell he wanted to mount her again, to finish her, but Astoria wasn't done yet and before she laid on the floor, she kneeled down before him and put his throbbing cock in her mouth. Draco clutched a nearby chair for support and began to pump himself in and out of her mouth with as much ferocity as he had her vagina. Astoria could taste herself on his cock.
"Astoria," he gasped. "I'm gonna cum—"
Astoria pulled her mouth off him instantly.
"No, fuck me one more time," she begged and laid herself on the floor for him where he laid on top of her.
It didn't take long after that for Draco to climax as he pounded her into the floor, crying out loudly as his hot cum entered her body. Then, finally, he went limp on top of her, both of them panting hard. Slowly, he pulled his half hard cock out of her, shuddering as he did so. Astoria gently kissed his neck as the tense muscles under his sweat-soaked shirt slowly began to relax.
"Are you okay?" Draco asked, still panting slightly.
"More than okay," she cooed in his ear. "Why?"
"Just wanted to make sure you didn't pass out on me again," Draco explained.
Astoria didn't answer as guilt, which was so easy to ignore in every heat of the moment, came flooding back to the forefront of her mind.
Slowly Draco lifted himself off of her and they both stood on trembling legs, their breathing still irregular. Draco held up the torn garments that had been Astoria's clothes.
"Sorry about that," he said, smiling mischievously.
"It's no matter," said Astoria, finding her wand amongst the wreckage "Reparo!"
The garments reassembled themselves, although not quite as neatly as she had hoped. Some of the buttons were attached rather loosely.
"Hmm," she said, frowning at her blouse. "I know there's a better spell for that, but I can't recall it. I'll ask Gwen."
Slowly she got dressed again and Draco watched her, looking slightly glum.
"What is it?" asked Astoria
"It's just a shame to see you covered up again," Draco said.
Astoria rolled her eyes. "It's only until we get back upstairs again."
"I know," said Draco, shrugging his pants back into position. "But if we lived alone, without all of the servants, we'd never have to get dressed."
"Why do you have the servants if you don't want them?" Astoria asked.
"They come with the manor house," Draco admitted. "Although, I wouldn't mind living more privately one day. This was my grandfather's estate, you see. It was part of my inheritance."
Astoria marvelled at the fact that someone could just be handed a gigantic house such as the one they were in. Apparently Draco took note of the look on her face because he said, "You think it's ridiculous, don't you?"
"What? Oh, well, it's just," Astoria mumbled, embarrassedly, as they walked casually out of the dining room, past the stone-faced butler, "I'm not really used to the, well, grandness of it all. It's not that I was poor growing up."
"Greengrass," Draco said, his face pensive. "That is a fairly well-off, pureblood family, isn't it? I remember my father talking about a Greengrass who my grandfather was friendly with."
"Yes, my grandfather was fairly wealthy," Astoria said as they began to climb the carpeted stairs. "But my father was the youngest child in a family of eight— six of which were boys. So, by the time his inheritance came, there wasn't much left. Don't get me wrong— we weren't poor by any means. My father took a job at the Ministry right out of school. He worked for the Department of Magical Transportation— the Portkey Office, mainly. So he brought home a decent amount of gold. Although, most of it went to—"
Astoria blushed, realizing she had overspoke.
"Went to what?" Draco asked, curiously.
"Paying my mom's medical bills," said Astoria, deciding not to lie.
"Your mom was sick?" Draco asked, opening the door to his bedroom.
"Yes," Astoria answered, following him in. "She died when I was ten."
"I'm so sorry," said Draco, sitting down on his bed and staring at Astoria across the room, although she didn't meet his gaze. "Why didn't you tell me before?"
"Is there ever a right time to tell someone your mom died when you were a kid?" she said, dryly. "Besides, I didn't want sympathy."
"How about your dad?" asked Draco.
"He's still alive," she said, "but we don't talk much. We don't see eye-to-eye."
"I understand," said Draco, a little too feverently.
"Enough talk," said Astoria, barely suppressing a yawn as she climbed into bed next to Draco. "I have to admit, these past couple of days have worn me out."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be!" said Astoria at once. "It's been wonderful. But before you join me remember to take your potion."
Draco nodded, rose from the bed, and strode across the room to where the potion sat in a goblet. Astoria, while Draco was busy with his potion, took a small flask of her own and downed it in one. She had decided earlier that day that, despite her desperate desire to have a baby, it was unfair to Draco when their relationship was so fresh and they had yet to even discuss the possibility of marriage, never mind children. All of those conversations could wait— though Astoria's time was so limited— for another day.