A/N: Songfic. Just came up in my head when I was listening to the song White Flag by Dido.

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,

Or tell you that.

But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it

where's the sense in that?

I came back for just this reason. To tell her I loved her. Even though I know I shouldn't. And she was right when she got angry at me. I never told her before, and now when she's finally happy, finally moving on, I had to make it worse for her. I never meant to. I just had to tell her. Had to let her know that I didn't leave because it never meant anything to me. It meant to much. Maybe even too much.

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder

Or return to where we were

I'll just stay away from her. I don't want to destroy her life now that she has finally rebuilt it. I know that it's for the best. He can make her happier than I ever could. I only have the power to destroy. To make her miserable.

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

I know that I will never be able to get over her. To forget her. Totally. She is so beautiful and sweet and special. I've had many many girls but nobody was as unique as she was. And there's no girl in the whole world that has had the privilege of being my girlfriend, except for her. And yet she's the only girl I never slept with. I had the chance once, but I rather left her a virgin than have her regretting her first time.

I know I left too much mess and

destruction to come back again

And I caused nothing but trouble

I understand if you can't talk to me again

And if you live by the rules of "it's over"

then I'm sure that that makes sense

I left her my phonenumber and my address. So that if she ever feels the need to talk about a good book, or just wants to listen to music or my voice...that she will be able to. I know she would be miserable if I left again without saying goodbye so I won't do that to her. I know she probably won't contact me though. I've hurt her too much.

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

I'm sure that I will be back here someday. To see my uncle, occasionally help out. I never told him, but I see him like a father. He's taught me such good things. Thanks to him I'm not the guy I was back in New York. I am safe from such temptations now. He made me a good man even though I caused him so much trouble.

She, ofcourse, was the other one saving me. With her unique way of looking at things, her naiveté she made me want to change to fit in her dreamworld. But I was never good enough. My way of looking at things almost became hers and I didn't want that to happen. And now she's back in that sweet little world again, where everything's nice and people can eat ice-cream without getting fat...he fits in there. So I pretend not to love her anymore. I pretend to be over it. Over her.

I will go down with this ship

And I won't put my hands up and surrender

There will be no white flag above my door

I'm in love and always will be

But inside it tears me apart because I know that no matter how good I am at lying, it will never become the truth. I will never get over her.

Review please!