A/N: This story is so old, I honestly thought I would never finish it. Hopefully, it has exactly the effect I was aiming for. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Eve, too!
Maki entered the room, violet eyes darting the cream white walls haltingly as she stood in the doorway. She avoided looking into strange faces on purpose, not keen on meeting unfamiliar eyes that would make her shiver in an instant. She hesitated, clutching the fabric of her sweater firmly. The situation was strange, she felt strange. She couldn't name the emotions whirling inside of her at first. But eventually, uncertainty got replaced by slight sureness. She sorted out the different feelings, drawing a conclusion of her emotional state: Hesitation? Apprehension? Anxiety? Trepidation?
Then again, wasn't it common? Wasn't it common to feel all at once instead of nothing at all?
The crimson haired knew there were many people, so many, staring at her as she stood there, indecisive and unsure of how to approach this kind of step in her life. She felt like time was passing too fast, flowing in an odd and misplaced way. Maki felt like there had been a whole other life she had missed just because time would not stop passing in this new sort of circulation. To put it simple, her life was flashing before her eyes. And there was nothing she could do to prevent it.
"Are you Maki?"
The scarlet haired shuddered at the sound of those words, an unknown melody to her ears, a broken symphony even. She absorbed the words, letter by letter. Her gaze remained on the walls as she nodded in affirmation, her scarlet colored strands falling past her shoulders due to the movement. "Yes," she cleared her throat before clarifying.
It did not sound like her voice. It did not sound like Nishikino Maki talking. She was a stranger, talking to strangers in a strange language. "Please take a seat then," the strange voice demanded softly and Maki did. She forced herself to set her eyes onto the scene in front of her, displaying a neatly arranged circle of chairs, a stranger sitting on each of them. The scarlet haired froze for a brief moment, registering the many pairs of eyes that were staring at her, curiosity shining in each core of them. She felt like she was going to pass out at any moment, the dizziness overwhelming her senses.
If she had to create poetic comparisons, then it felt like drowning, drowning in a deep sea, and it felt like getting lost, getting lost in a maze. Her throat felt dry and her legs were unreasonably shaking as she walked towards a seat that had not been taken yet, almost stumbling before reaching her destination. She was surrounded by strangers - Strangers that seemed strange, were strange, looked strange.
"Has there been a complication that caused you to be late?" Maki dared to look across the circle, meeting eyes with yet another stranger. He seemed older than everyone else and, she noticed, he was holding a clipboard in his hands. When he met Maki's gaze, a soft smile formed upon his face. However, the crimson haired did not feel like smiling. She felt like crying in that very moment. Bursting out in tears was not an option though. "N-no. I hesitated to even come here," she admitted blunt despite the shaky whisper in her voice.
The man sitting across from her raised a brow in disbelief, but he did not question the girl's response. Instead, he kept on talking, "Everyone else around you has shared their story already. Do you want to tell something to the others?" Maki shook her head in an instant. There was no way she would ever confess to the mess her life had become. Especially not to a room full of strangers.
He seemed disappointed because of her response. Good.
"Are you sure? It can be quite liberating, actually," he spoke concerned, meeting the red haired's amethyst eyes as he did so. Maki felt large goose bumps cover her wrists, the terrifying feeling of being stared at making her feel like an animal trapped in its cage. She refused to return the gaze, looking down onto the floor immediately. Everyone was staring at her, questioning her sanity, chuckling at her insecurity.
This was a nightmare. "At least introduce yourself?"
It sounded like a question to Maki's ears, but deep within she knew - It was a command. A sigh left her lips. "Nishikino, Maki. I am sixteen years old." That would have to be enough. No need to dig in deeper into other people's business. When she finished her sentence, she met luring eyes, begging her to just spill.
Spill the reason for her presence at group therapy.
Like hell she would.
"And how are you feeling today?"
Maki wanted this joke of a therapist to choke on his many questions. "Like crap."
For a moment, it was silent. But eventually, the silence got broken. And Maki swore she heard someone laugh at her response. She looked around, eyes roaming the area of strange faces, and she found the guilty. She was laughing silently, yet noticeable to Maki's sensitive ears. It was a soft and smooth laughter, gentle even. Maki wondered how being made fun of could happen in such a gentle and delicate manner.
Her amethyst eyes met ruby ones as the other girl looked towards her direction and the red haired felt paralyzed as the deep red color of those gem-like eyes devoured her anger. Her smile was fascinating, her laughter enchanting. The scarlet of her eyes was glowing like a flickering fire within. If Maki had to find one term for the vibe she gave off, it would be polarizing. Maki blinked. Twice. She did not believe her eyes - They were obviously tricking her into seeing something that clearly was surreal.
To Maki, beauty was not defined in an appearance. Beauty was sophistication, intelligence, grace, serenity and so much more that didn't characterize simple outward matters. But sometimes there were exceptions. Even she had to admit. And she could already feel it deep within - This girl would be the greatest exception to ever define.
Time stopped again, and this time, Maki felt like it was just in place.
Maki was the last to leave the room. It was fine by her. This way, there would be nobody to ask her annoying questions. She had had enough with today's experience of a so called therapy.
It was draining - Living on the edge of one's capability. No one had ever told her that it would even get harder after reaching the limit. The scarlet haired shouldered her bag, sighing as she looked back onto the now empty room.
She had not interacted much after all.
In fact, she hadn't said anything at all. Not even a slight chuckle or frown had appeared on her face. Personally, she felt like keeping a reserved distance to everyone and everything was the key to getting through all of this. If she kept a clear and strict distance, there would be no attachment. And no attachment was they key to getting back to a normal life, right?
Being the observer was enough to the red haired. There was no need to tell her 'story' when her story was clearly still in progress. Despite the many chapters that had been written already, there seemed to be no end in sight. Not until Maki herself would decide to write the final chapter. And right now, she was not in the right place to do so. She was not even in the right place to figure out what was happening around her. Time was flowing in strange ways these days. Strange and frightening ways.
As she walked through the hallways, Maki's fingers traced mosaics of colourful stained glassed windows, walking past them through yet another room that would eventually lead to a hallway connected to the exit. When she thought about her situation, she came to the final conclusion that she was not the type to believe in religion. And this conclusion was one of a kind; a conclusion she could draw without second guessing. There was no reason to believe in something she could not see or touch. At least, she felt that way. If anyone else found strength in those beliefs, that would be fine by her. But she herself simply did not care about those things. She had never felt like there was a mighty power watching over her. If that had been the case, all of those horrible things would not have happened in the past.
Her soft finger tips ran along the rainbow colored pieces, forming a pattern on them as sun rays from outside filtered through the mosaic. It was beautiful. Maki could feel herself shiver at the plain, yet so breathtaking sight of the colorful prism.
"What are you doing? Shouldn't you go home already?"
And there it was. Something or someone to destroy the slightest moment of happiness she would experience. And it was no wonder. No wonder that people felt the need to crush happiness. It was in the human nature – If one envied the other, they would end up getting carried away with their jealousy. Though Maki could not conclude such a thing from a simple question. Then again, she had been the last to leave on purpose and yet, there was someone who seemed to be even more eager on being the last to leave. And that was a conclusion that would ultimately result in the theory of jealousy. Even if it was such a simple matter, it was still a vicious circle. And circles surely had no end.
It had sounded harsh - Harsh and blunt and like a slap in the face.
Maki turned around to meet fire. The scarlet haired winced lightly in awe, taking a few steps back to keep a distance. Be reserved. At all times.
The black haired girl in front of her crossed her thin arms, stare challenging as she chuckled perfidiously, "You won't find the solution to your problems in avoiding everyone around you. I know, it sounds great and all, but it won't happen. And looking out of the window won't make your life any less miserable either."
Maki found herself lost in her red rubies as her opposite spoke. Being reserved turned out to be way more of a challenge than expected.
The other girl leaned against the doorway as she continued gazing at the red haired and her terrifyingly piercing stare sent endless shivers down Maki's spine. There was something deep within her narrowing pupils that made her feel insecure, more even, cowed. Maki was not a coward, at least not normally. She could not explain the odd emotions whirling inside of her. There was no scientific proof to it. This was not how reality worked.
She did not dare to reply instantly, instead, she returned the gaze of the smaller girl, taking the opportunity to inspect her further.
The crimson haired was not a mean person, but she was a sarcastic one indeed. And this girl in front of her – She was a midget. Literally. Maki had barely seen anyone at her age this small. Her ruby gems were surrounded by pitch black strands, forming an uneven fringe. The taller girl's sight travelled down, noticing pale and, Maki bet, soft skin. She suppressed the urge to cup her delicate face between her finger tips.
She shook her head in an instead. What the hell was wrong with her? She would send those thought right back where they came from, and hopefully, they would not return so fast.
"I don't really believe I will find the solution to my problems anyway." She managed to reply, a certain hopelessness hidden in her voice. The words felt odd leaving her mouth so easily. It seemed crystal clear to her nevertheless - She had been a fool to believe she would find the strength to overcome all of her difficulties.
"Then why are you here?" The black haired asked curiously. Her small fingers hooked the strands falling onto her shoulders behind her ear as she inquired. Maki wondered what it would feel like to run her finger tips through the silky texture of them.
"I don't know, actually," she replied weakly, a sigh leaving her lips as she finished the sentence. She did not know why she even bothered replying, it was none of the other girl's business anyway.
Sun rays continued filtering through the stained glassed windows as they stood there, two strangers talking to each other while the sun set in the background.
The smaller girl seemed pensive for a brief moment, a frown appeared on her soft features before she added chuckling, "You're interesting, Maki." The scarlet haired shrugged at the intimacy. Being addressed with her first name was not something she appreciated when it came from a stranger.
"It's Nishikino." She stated coarsely, clutching the handle of her bag as the bitterness of her words filled the room with heaviness, "Care to make some room?" She added, gesturing towards the blocked hallway behind the black haired. Their conversation would end up in a mess of arguments if she stayed, she could tell. She would loose her temper, as always, getting carried away with her emotions.
The smaller girl took a few steps to the side to let the scarlet haired pass, staring at her with a blank expression - Blank and emotionless and almost frozen. Maki could not tell what was going on inside of the other girl's mind. And she was not entirely sure if she actually wanted to know.
Silence.
Just as Maki was about leave, leave this weird situation behind her, a tender palm embraced her wrist, holding her back immediately. The grip of the smaller girl was surprisingly firm. Maki met determination in her burning rubies as she turned towards the other girl, locking eyes with her.
"You will regret not opening up." She spoke and the melody of her voice was not blunt or dull or teasing unlike seconds before. It was heavy. A heavy and sorrowful symphony. The red haired found herself bewildered, unsure how to react.
It took her a few moments to gather her thoughts. "You are not the one to define that." She responded decisive, pulling away from the harsh grip the other girl had on her. She flinched due to the sudden movement, but Maki did not look back. She left - Left her behind.
Life was regretful. What would a life without regrets feel like? Maki knew such thoughts were simply a waste of time. A sinner in a crowd of saints would always remain an outcast. She would always be the one watching from the outside. Trying to fit in was not a matter of effort anymore. It was a matter of the acceptance she would receive. And that was something the scarlet haired was not able to control.
And when she could not control things, things would get out of control so easily.
Maki regretted pushing the black haired girl away from her. The following days were exhausting without someone to at least enjoy the silence with. She knew, it sounded contradictory. She had wanted to be reserved and distant and devoid of attachment. And she still wanted to be. But when mind and heart started to battle for mastery, who was she to interrupt their strife?
She refused to talk in sessions nevertheless. There was no need to. Instead, she listened to what the others had to tell and for once, Maki did not feel like the only outcast around.
And it wasn't until today, that she eventually got to know that she wasn't the only one hurting. And having thought to be the only one turned out to be enormously selfish in its odd way.
"Nico, how about you tell us something to finish off the day?"
"I'm not sure if that's a good idea, actually." A shiver ran down the red haired's spine almost instantly as her ears absorbed the sound of those words on that day, the familiar voice echoing through the room as she turned her head towards the direction she had noticed the melody coming from.
So her name was Nico.
Maki scanned the other girl's appearance from across the room. The black haired seemed exhausted, drained even, on that day. She did not wear any make up unlike the days before, which made her skin seem even paler than Maki remembered it to be.
"I'm sure it is." Once again, Maki felt the urge to smother this therapist with her bare hands. Forcing one of his clients into talking by encouragement was just absolutely disgusting. At least to her it was. Usually, it was probably the common thing to expect from a therapist – Little glimpses of support, soft pushes into the right direction. But people did not need to be pushed in order to move. They needed to build up a certain kind of security in order to talk. This group of people around them only existed for a few days. How could anyone feel safe and sound around strangers? How could anyone demand such a thing?
Maki hated how superficial all of this ridiculous effort was. She bet this man across from her had never experienced any sort of suffering in his life. He had never felt out of place, devoid of existence. He has probably never known what it felt like to lose the ground under his feet.
Nico fumbled with the hem of her lacy white skirt for quite a few moments, eyes set onto the floor. A long silence followed. Maki waited patiently and so did everyone else in the room.
Nico stuttered as she spoke, and it was husky and quiet and touching. Her raspy voice struggled as each letter left her soft pink lips and her fingers were trembling as she placed them onto her bare thighs, and each time she stopped to collect her thoughts, something inside of the scarlet haired's rib cage shattered into pieces. She could not explain the compassion that arose inside of her, but it made her intentional reservation hard to keep up.
"They beat me up. Everyday. Everyone. After school. At home. Everywhere," she stopped in between, eyes glistening from time to time, "I stopped believing in the existence of a hell when I realized that hell does not have to be an imagination of what could possibly greet you after death. Hell can be the present, too. And as soon as I realized that, I simply stopped believing in all of this. I even stopped believing that there was a purpose to living."
It was silent.
No one dared to say a word and Maki felt her heart clench inside of her chest. A sort of terrifying tension built up inside of her, making her feel frightened of what would follow.
"So when I turned 18 a month ago, I decided to move out. I graduated and I left everyone behind. I might be lonesome now, but honestly," she laughed bitterly, "I'd rather be lonely than in a room full of hypocrites."
When their session was over, Maki waited for everyone to pack their things and to just leave. She stuffed her jacket into her bag, acting overly busy with the content of it to save some time.
Hurry the fuck up, she thought, watching the other strangers leave the office's core and eventually, Nico would pass by to leave, too. And it was in that moment that the scarlet haired threw away all of her hesitation and doubts, yelling "Wait!" as she sprinted form her seat over to the doorway.
A similar situation, this time with swapped roles.
"What the hell is it with you now?" The black haired spoke annoyed, frowning at the sight of the crimson haired blocking her way to the exit. The red haired noticed the completely different way of her opposite's actions. Compared to their last conversation, she gave off a reckless and impolite aura, as if she did not care about her surroundings at all. Maki clutched the handle of her bag in a firm manner before turning around and closing the door behind them.
"H-hey, you can't just close the door! I don't have all the time in the world to spend with you and besides-"
"Just tell me one thing." Maki demanded, cutting off the outrageous speech of the older girl.
"Now you want to talk, Nishikino?" The tone of her voice was bitter and filled with anger; it was painful to listen to. The way she emphasized each syllable of Maki's last name sounded agonizingly poisonous and ferocious. Maki wished herself to be the observer again, to listen from the outside. "You know what, fuck off and go home! Go play with your dolls and get on your parents' nerves, but leave me the fuck out of your bullshit!"
It hurt.
It bit holes into her heart and it felt like drowning in a deep sea.
Seeing such a small girl this outraged, this capable of loosing control over her emotions was something Maki did not expect. The insensitivity of her words made her delicate heart ache immensely. She knew, the black haired could not have known.
But it hurt.
"I don't have parents anymore." The scarlet haired replied weakly, voice only faint, taking just enough steps back to unblock the doorway. Her throat felt dry as the words echoed through the room. They hung in the air, everywhere, leaving both of them left to breathe the anguish in them.
Nico's eyes widened as she realized the meaning of the crimson haired's words, the anger in her rubies vanishing instantly. "I am sorry," she whispered huskily and concerned, her deep red eyes set onto the other girl standing in front of her, "I really am." Maki could feel the compassion shining in her rubies.
She did not need any compassion.
"You don't need to act like you are," She assured quietly, "It's not like you know me anyway."
"I don't," the black haired confirmed, "But that doesn't mean I want to hurt you on purpose."
Minutes of silence went by, none of the girls made an effort to keep the conversation going, however, none of them seemed willing to leave the other by herself either.
And Maki felt safe. It was like finding light in the darkest shadow.
"What was it that you wanted me to tell?" Nico then broke the silence, locking eyes with the crimson haired's amethysts as she asked. She turned around, black strands falling past her small silhouette as she walked back to the arranged circle of chair's, taking a seat on one of them. She smiled fondly as her flat palm patted onto the seat next to her, gesturing the taller girl to take the seat next to her.
And Maki did. She did it without questioning it, and she did it because she was so desperate for affection. The red haired felt heat creep up her neck as she settled herself onto the seat, realizing the short distance between the both of them soon enough. Her mind collected the last bits and pieces of the remaining question Nico had asked her before. "Why did they do it?" She asked genuinely interested and it made her wonder why she was so interested in the first place.
Perhaps, finding comfort in the existence of another person wasn't so bad after all?
Perhaps, sharing one's so called story wasn't a matter of being ridiculed for it, but showing bravery and strength in a way Maki would never be able to understand. And perhaps, she was the weakest of all for not admitting her current situation to the outside, for bottling up all of her sorrows and worries. It wasn't about keeping everything to yourself.
You will regret not opening up one day.
Maki had expected the long silence that followed, so she waited. When Nico spoke up, she listened attentively, hands settled in her lap, the other girl right next to her.
"You don't really get to choose who you are in your life, right? I mean," Nico started explaining quietly, "You don't really get to choose your interests and such. They choose you instead." Maki nodded in affirmation, listening carefully as the black haired continued to speak. Her words were faint, lingering in the air like dust, but Maki made sure to understand each of her words crystal clear. Because she wanted to know.
"Well, I didn't get to choose my romantic interests either," Nico sighed heavily, "Unfortunately, not everyone seemed to be pleased with my preferences."
And suddenly, Maki understood. She understood and it made her feel horrible. She clenched her fists, feeling anger arising. "It's something one has to get used to, I guess," the smaller girl continued, "If you don't fit in, they won't let you in."
"Like hell you have to get used to it!" The red haired yelled furiously, brow twitching in angers as she turned her head in order to face the other girl properly. Her opposite smiled weakly and Maki could literally feel the honesty in it. And for the first time ever, she realized how beautiful a simple smile could actually be.
"Why do you care?" Nico asked surprised, yet – Maki wondered if she imagined it – pleased.
"Because it's common sense. At least to me." She responded certain, feeling a firm grip tighten around her upper arm as she spoke. A tender hand grasped the fabric of her sweatshirt firmly, holding onto it tightly. Maki could feel sharp nails scrape against her sensitive skin even through the texture of the piece of clothing. Soon after, Nico rested her head on the scarlet haired's shoulder, a sigh leaving her soft pink lips as her hand tightened the grip around the other girl's arm even more.
"W-what-" Maki began asking as the movements of the other girl took her by surprise.
And perhaps, life was all about those little surprising moments. They could spell doom for you on the one hand, but on the other, they could be the beginning of something utterly precious. They could unfold the sequel to one's story. And while the protagonist didn't decide what's going to happen next, fate did.
"Shhh," Nico hushed quietly, gaze remaining on the floor as she interrupted Maki, "Just for a little while."
Maki had never wanted 'a little while' to be an eternity this bad.
Weeks went by. On some days, time went by slowly, on others, Maki hated how fast the moon would show its face on the night sky. And despite of so many days having passed already, she still couldn't adjust to this new kind of schedule. Hearing others talk about their problems on a daily basis, knowing that fate surely had some weird ways of letting innocent people suffer – It was difficult to maintain calm when one had to take in the sight and sounds of such things. And Maki had always rejected the offer when it came to her. She had always rejected talking about herself until this day. You will regret not opening up.
"You interrupted me."
"I didn't".
"You clearly did!"
"I was just stating my opinion."
"You don't state your opinion when I'm talking. You shut your mouth and listen."
"Did you hear that? How in hell is she allowed to insult me during sessions?"
Laughter.
Laughter surrounded them, and, surprisingly, Maki felt like laughing, too. Just this one time, she felt overwhelmed with joy, unable to contain the feelings inside of her. She glanced at the black haired from across the room whose pink lips had curved into a grimace; defeated, yet chuckling. Her eyes were set on the crimson haired, grinning smugly as she noticed the other girl laughing so truthfully.
For the first time ever she witnessed her beautiful smile – A beautiful and soft melody of laughter following its breathtaking shape.
"You really did interrupt her though." The person sitting next to Nico stated after everything had fallen silent again. Despite the silence, Maki felt like laughing again after having heard such a serious statement directed towards the black haired. Said person responded with a glare almost instantly.
"Just because I wanted to encourage her! What's so wrong with that?! She will never start talking if I don't make her!"
"Go on, Maki." The therapist said slightly irritated, nodding towards the red haired's direction and noting something on his clipboard as he spoke.
Maki knew, he was probably more than satisfied regarding her sudden urge to participate in their conversations. Even if it really was thanks to Nico who had made an objection after Maki had rejected to talk about herself yet again. And having heard that the other girl was actually interested in what she had to say had made Maki feel oddly pleased. It had made her want to share a little glimpse of her personality. She did not do it for her own sake or for the others to sympathize with her. And she did not do it for their therapist either, though she knew, he had wished it to be like that. After all, it was his job to help her get back on the right track.
But honestly, who even decided which track was the right and which was the wrong one? And who even defined those matters? And additionally, how does one even know where they are at? A journey wasn't just a long path ahead. It was a road of branch lines and blind alleys and lots of obstacles in the way.
"Actually, I forgot what I was talking about." The scarlet haired admitted abashedly.
"That's because you were distracted by my beauty, I can tell." Nico interrupted yet again, - damn, this girl really loved interrupting other people - voice teasing, a twinkle in her deep red eyes.
From across the room.
Yet so close.
She was joking, Maki.
"I-I don't think so," the scarlet haired stuttered, a slight blush covering her heated cheeks as she spoke. She knew, judging from the still present laughter, nobody thought of their conversation as serious in any regard. She knew it.
"Wow. Now that was kinda vague! Nobody's gonna buy that, Maki!" The smaller girl obviously enjoyed mocking her and up until this point, Maki had played along, but now, now something felt different to her. Despite the laughing around her, despite the casual and friendly atmosphere, despite everyone not taking their silly argument serious - Despite all of those things, Maki suddenly felt out of place.
And time was flowing in a strange way again. Too strange to be ignored.
And as a consequence, Maki did not know how to deal with it. Rather than dealing with such matters, running away has always been the best option for those who have never been brave in the first place.
"I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, breaking the wall of joy surrounding her. Said interjection forced every kind of attention onto her, causing it to fall silent again. "I-I don't feel well. I'm leaving for today," She looked towards the therapist's direction, "if that is okay."
Now that was something nobody's gonna buy, Nico.
He nodded slightly though Maki could discover the increasing irritation in his dark eyes. It didn't matter to her nonetheless. She needed to get out of here. Fast. And with that, she grabbed her bag and left. And it didn't even matter that everyone was staring at her anymore. The only thing that mattered was escaping from this awkwardness.
And she left - Left her behind.
It was late in the evening when Maki's cell phone rung, a vibrating sound filling the air. She looked up from the book she had been reading the past hour, reaching for the buzzing object on the edge of her bed. The cushions underneath her got messed up, the fabric of her bed sheets wrinkling under her movement. "Phone company again…" She muttered under her breath as she tapped the password onto the phone's keyboard in a swift motion of her thin fingers.
A text message from an unknown number.
The scarlet haired frowned slightly. Her aunt was not at home, she was still working. There was no way she would call her around this time. Her shift at the hospital was way too busy for a small chit chat with her orphan niece. Other than that, there was nobody else who knew her phone number. Maki tapped the icon symbolizing a letter, the red circle around it disappearing in an instant as the message opened.
I'm going to call you in five minutes and you won't hang up!
Nico
Maki couldn't believe her eyes as she read the message over and over again. Where the hell did this midget even get her phone number from? Maki shrugged at the sight of the flashing pink, and most obviously of all, sparkling heart emoji next to Nico's name. The cheesiness of it was almost unbearable to look at. The red haired only realized she was smiling when her phone buzzed again, this time because of the incoming call Nico had announced in her text message.
Fine.
Her thumb brushed the answer button swiftly, and as soon as she brought her phone up to her ear, Nico started yelling at her. Where does this girl get all her energy from when she was barely 1.55m tall?
"What the hell was that today? Why did you just leave out of sudden? Your head is like a balloon!"
"A…balloon?" Maki asked surprised, ignoring the enraged speech of the smaller girl instinctively.
"Yeah," Nico muttered and Maki could tell she was gritting her teeth as she responded, "one moment you're floating peacefully and then suddenly-" She paused, a loud sound of something crashing onto the floor following, "You burst into pieces."
"First of all, I'm not sure what to think of you comparing me to a balloon and secondly, what the hell did you just throw onto the floor."
"Maki! It doesn't matter what it was!" The black haired scolded her earnestly, "The only thing that matters is that it put emphasis on my words!"
"You smashed a plate onto the floor, didn't you?"
"No." Nico responded certain, "It was a mug, actually."
"You are way too careless with your possessions."
"Uh. Profound. I like it."
"I'm going to hang up if you continue flirting with me."
"I'm not flirting with you, you fool. If I was flirting with you, I would have told you how I've stared a good five minutes at your ass today. But I didn't. Because I don't flirt with straight people."
"How can you tell I'm straight?"
"You," Nico paused shortly, her steady breath being the only audible sound for a brief moment, "seem to be resistant to my enormous beauty?"
I'm not. So definitely not, Maki thought.
"What if I told you I wasn't?"
Silence.
Seconds after, the sound of a constant beeping lingered in the air. She had cut off the connection.
Well done, Maki.
Nico didn't show up at therapy for days afterwards. Maki did not know how to interpret the sudden shift of her emotions but she figured it would be best if she stayed out of it. Well. She had tried to stay out of it, at least.
When another session without the black haired being present had passed, Maki decided to show some guts and asked the therapist if he knew something about the absence of the older girl.
"I'm afraid I can't answer your question, Maki," he said concerned, "such information is strictly confidential."
"Can't you make an exception?" She urged and she admitted, it sounded pretty impolite. And she did not even know why she felt like urging him into informing her about the circumstances any further.
"I cannot." He emphasized his response, "What I can do is give you her address if you want to find out yourself."
"How did you-" Nico began, but Maki was quick to interrupt her.
"How dare you scold me for leaving earlier when you don't show up at all!" A frown appeared on the other girl's face as she listened to Maki standing in her doorway, feet on her doormat.
"Are you going to explain why and how you're here or are you just going to yell at me?" Nico responded and it left Maki speechless for a few seconds.
"I," She paused briefly, "I came here to ram some sense into you! You can't just skip those appointments, how will you-"
"You are one to talk," the black haired interrupted recklessly, "You don't know anything about me, yet you act as if you were my mother. Actually. I take that back. My mother wouldn't care so much about her sick daughter." The bitter connotation her words had within did not go unnoticed, but Maki reminded herself of keeping things in control. Right now, she could decide whether they would go out of control or not. Right now, it was up to her.
"Let me in." She demanded earnestly.
"That's not a good idea." Nico responded almost instantly.
"Why not?"
Nico hesitated with answering for a few seconds. "Oh my god, you really don't notice, do you?"
"What is there to notice?" The red haired interjected hastily, "Honestly, you are the only one I've talked to these last weeks! If you don't want to talk to me, fine, but I for sure want to talk to you! "
Had she really just said such a thing?
Nico shut her eyes for a brief moment, seeming distressed for quite a few seconds, and the red haired admitted to herself that she missed the plain sight of rubies almost immediately. When Nico opened her eyes again, a sigh left her soft looking lips.
"Fine. Come in." She approved half-heartedly, turning her back to the other girl as she walked in. Maki followed hesitantly. The sudden change of her mind surely was odd. But she did not question it. Just like she didn't question her own suddenness of affection either. It just happened.
Life was regretful. One had to let things happen instead of questioning their meaning. In order to keep a certain steadiness up, life had to take over once in a while. And sometimes life rewarded those who had suffered too much already.
When Maki found herself in a small living room, sitting on a comfortable bench next to the black haired, her eyes roamed the area. She took in the sight of pink painted walls, a pink carpet to her feet, pink flowers on white cupboards and shelves. It wasn't much, in fact, it was a pretty basic interior. But with those little glimpses of the other girl's personality and preferences, it added to its specialty.
"Isn't my address kind of confidential? Why would he give it to a teenager." Nico picked up their conversation again, resting her arm onto the armrest next to her.
"You aren't even that much older," Maki stated her response before explaining further, "Your reason for your absence is confidential. Your address either isn't or he just gave it to me to make me shut up."
"I don't think he wants you to shut up. You barely talk. And it's a shame, actually." Nico admitted, leaving Maki to wonder what she meant by that. And she continued without said question having been asked, "You are so introverted, making you talk is just too difficult for anyone. You should start opening up already if you want to move on with whatever it is that makes you go there in the first place."
Maki frowned as her mind conveyed the meaning of the older girl's words. If she wanted to move on, she had to open up. Obviously. But perhaps, she couldn't move on in the first place. Perhaps, there were invisible strings spun on her road, preventing her from moving anything further, holding her in place by using force.
"I don't know if I can move on," she thought out loud, the ticking of a clock blending in with her words as she spoke, "I mean, of course, I want to. But there are these images stuck in my head and they-"
"Follow you everywhere?" Nico finished her sentence, looking straight into violet eyes. Maki nodded in affirmation.
"Let's make a deal, shall we?" The black haired interjected, "If I tell you my story, you tell me yours."
Maki took her time with deciding, a silence following the other girl's offer. Was there something to loose? Other than the reserved attitude she had wanted to keep up?
Was there anything to loose that mattered?
"Alright." There wasn't.
There was something deep within her, something that she could only feel but not explain that made her trust this completely strange girl next to her. If she really was this strange, would she be sitting in her living room, exchanging secrecy?
Nico leaned forward a little, her chin cupped in her tender hand, and Maki watched each of movements with a certain interest. "Actually, you know the basic idea of it already," she started talking, gaze set onto the wall opposed, "What I said in front of the others the other day was true. And what I told you when everyone had left was just as true."
Maki wasn't quite sure, but she figured, the other girl avoided looking at her on purpose. She did not mind, but she wondered what it was that made it so difficult for her to face her while talking.
"I mean, of course I had some problems in life before already. Things like these don't come out of nowhere to hit you in the face. My family had quite some financial issues and when my parents had divorced due to that, my siblings and I stayed with my mother,"
A short silence followed. Maki waited patiently, she certainly did not want to push the other girl who seemed to be struggling with talking about those issues already. Of course, she didn't say so, but the red haired could discover it in the way her hands were shaking as she removed them from the tip of her chin, letting them slide down into her lap.
"That might have been a bad decision already. I know she only tried her best to get us through such a difficult situation, but she was barely there. I had to take care of my siblings at all times, I had to make sure they were alright and it caused my grades to get worse. I had no time for things like studying anymore. And honestly," She laughed bitterly, "When she was around for once, which was rare enough, she was only there to make me feel bad about it."
Maki wished she could shut off the voice that was talking to her. And she regretted agreeing to such a condition. Because she knew there would only be worse things to follow her narration.
"I think I was just as old as you are when I found out for myself that I was into girls. At first, I thought it was only a phase or that I might experience feelings for both genders, but that wasn't the case. I had a long talk with a close friend of mine about that issue, but it turned out she wasn't as close as I had thought of her to be. On the following day of our conversation, everyone at school seemed to know about what I had discussed at great length with her already. And I had confronted her. I had asked her why she would go around and tell everyone about it even though I had asked her not to do so. A friend is supposed to keep your secrets, right?" Suddenly, she turned her head around and shifted her position a little, looking the red haired flush in the eye as she continued and Maki swore she could discover little tear drops in the corner of her ruby eyes.
"And you know what she had said?" She waited a few seconds before adding, "Guess."
Maki wasn't so sure whether taking a guess on such a thing would be the right thing to do or not in such a situation. She had expected such a demand to be of rhetorical use, but Nico seemed to await an actual answer. "I'm not sure if-" Maki forced the words out of her throat, but it was unnecessary to continue. Nico cut her off, interrupting and continuing quickly as if she had never awaited an answer.
"She had said that we had been friends before I had turned into such a disgusting person. And it wasn't even enough to say so. People only show their true face when their moral beliefs get crushed."
"Such moral beliefs are quite similar to a ton of trash." The red haired felt the need to interject, gritting her teeth. Nico, who had set her gaze onto the wall yet again glanced over for a short moment before returning to the former sight. As if the wall in front of her was more interesting.
"Yeah. I don't care what other people think of as ethical or not. In the end, it's my life and not theirs. You won't believe how narrow-minded those people at my school were. After that, everything got worse. First, they stuck to insulting me. And I got used to it eventually. I learnt how to shut off their annoying voices. Only they weren't satisfied with my lack of reaction."
Maki felt her chest tighten at such a remark. "You don't need to say anything furth-"
"No. I do need to," Nico interrupted her yet again on this day, locking eyes with the red haired and this time, she did not avert her gaze, "I have never talked so freely about all of it. I have never told anyone all of it. I owe it to myself. I need to get this off my chest finally."
And Maki decided not to interrupt her anymore, and she listened to how cruelties only ever occurred to the gentlest people.
"How could I have possibly defended myself when it was almost always one person against many, Maki?" She asked as if Maki would have the answer to said question, but she continued without having even looked at the younger girl, "When my mother eventually discovered some of the bruises, I had to confess to her as well. Actually, I thought she would be the one to help me out of this. I thought she would support me and stand up for her daughter, but that was just another foolish thing to believe. She was barely home, but when she was, she made sure to prove that she was just the same as those people at my school."
Nico clenched her fists in her laps, her slender fingers quivering as she did so. "Nowadays, I can confidently say that they are the disgusting ones."
Maki hated to mention it, but she wasn't sure what to say other than that when Nico had finished her sentence. And it was probably insensitive. But she had never been good at dealing with affection. "A-are you crying?" She stuttered worried and as soon as Nico noticed her say those words, she wiped away the tears that had run down her cheeks hastily.
"I'm not," she replied faintly, but Maki could conclude that she was feigning strength in front of her, "I won't ever let those things touch me again." And she said it in such a confident way despite of her shaking voice, it caused the red haired's heart to ache so impossibly enormous, she thought it would stop beating any second. She did not know how to handle such a situation, how to handle other people's anguish when she could not even handle her own.
But she knew for sure that she wanted to show the other girl that she was there for her. Quite frankly, she did not even know why she wanted to be. Even though life was regretful, there were times regret could be replaced by comfort so easily.
The red haired decided to act out of an impulse, resting her head onto the shoulder of the black haired. It turned out to be quite difficult though – No wonder. She would probably always remain a midget.
"W-what are you doing?" Nico asked surprised, looking down into violet eyes as the other girl's crimson hair brushed her upper arm. Maki smiled quietly, remembering words from a few days ago that suddenly found their way back into her mind.
"Shh," she hushed quietly, "just for a little while."
It was a deal after all. And even though Maki had neglected to tell the other girl something about herself in return, she was determined to keep her pledge. But the day before, it had felt wrong to suddenly talk about herself. It felt like forcing herself onto the black haired, as if she did not care about her feelings.
She wanted to be considerate. If she had begun talking about her reasons for participating in therapy sessions, she would have been the most selfish person there was. And she felt like the black haired had witnessed enough stupidity and insensitivity in her short life. Nevertheless, what she had told her did not leave Maki's mind, even after she had left the other girl's apartment. And even when the red haired had arrived at home again, having found an empty mansion just as usual, the words of the older girl still lingered in her mind.
The imagination of the things she had endured had forced their way into her head and as much as she had tried to shove the thoughts away, they still remained in their spot, anchored deep within the abyss of lost thoughts and memories.
Despite of that, Maki had tried her best to be supportive. She had not expected to feel so drawn towards the other girl, but she did not think of it as negative in any kind of way. Getting to know a stranger had never seemed so precious before.
Until today, Maki had thought of things such as bonding with a person as futile. However, fate surely had a weird way of pulling the strings behind the curtains.
"Today, we are going to do the following thing," Their therapist announced on that day, voice energetic and filled with such an amount of enthusiasm that Maki had wanted to empty the content of her stomach. "Since you all got to know each other a little better throughout the past weeks, I want every one of you to mention one thing about the person to their left side that makes them interesting. One aspect, it can be just a little personality trait that is, in your opinion, irreplaceable." He stopped shortly, his glowing eyes roaming through the arranged circle of chairs and people surrounding him, "You won't believe how much such a simple compliment can mean to a person."
Needless to say, Maki thought of such a thing as ridiculous. She looked to her left side, a girl that has been eagerly participating in each session sat next to her. It should not be too difficult. She could mention her surplus motivation. Or anything else regarding her talkative personality.
But something was different today and Maki could not tell why she thought of it to be at first. That was, until she remembered that today, she had not chosen the seat she had usually taken the days before. Since she had wanted to be supportive. Since she had wanted to be there.
The red haired looked to her right side, wishing that she had not done so almost instantly – Wishing that she had not taken the seat next to Nico's on that day. And actually, the black haired had been happy about that fact, Maki had seen it in the way her ruby eyes had glistened as she had suggested sitting next to each other.
She reminded herself of playing it down, of keeping it casual. Nico would not exaggerate, right? She would keep it just as casual, too. Why did she even doubt such a thing? There was nothing to worry about. Just like there wasn't anything to expect either. Right?
And yet, the red haired could not explain why she felt out of place again, felt like running away, felt like nervousness would swallow her whole any minute. She tried to remain focused as people started talking, as she listened to positive traits and laughter and gentle smiles that showed truthful appreciation.
It helped her maintain calmness, but listening to the others could only help so much until it actually was Nico's turn to talk. Maki had never known her heart could have been capable of such a rapid beating.
Why would it even beat so fast?
"I don't know if this kind of thing is effective, actually," Nico started talking.
Oh no, it isn't. Feel free to skip your share in this, Maki thought. But fate never played along, it seemed.
"Because I honestly do not know how to mention only one thing interesting about her," Nico looked aside in order to lock eyes with the red haired and Maki felt her legs tremble horribly at those words. Hear ears took in the perception of quiet whispers around them, but she tried shutting them off completely as she got lost in rubies. Just like she had lost herself in them on the day of their first conversation.
"There is so much interesting about her. She never really talks about herself and it leaves you to wonder whether it is because she is so selfless or the complete opposite. And I wouldn't even mind if she was the most selfish person in the world. Her face makes up for that. And her body does, too. But I'm not going into detail with this."
Maki could feel herself flush at those words of her opposite. Unlike everyone else who had talked already, Nico was neither looking at her surroundings, nor at the therapist. Her gaze was set onto the younger girl next to her as she spoke, making sure to take in the sight of her blushing cheeks.
"Stop, N-" Maki tried interrupting her, but the black haired made a dismissive gesture with her hand in order to shut her off.
"No, I'm not going to. I have always wondered what it was that made you so unreachable ever since the day you had walked in late. And it took only some time to get to know what it was. You don't talk about yourself because you don't want to be the centre of attention. Because you think of yourself as irrelevant."
"That's enough, Yazawa-" The therapist tried interrupting the black haired as well, but Nico made sure to clarify that she was not someone to interrupt. In spite of talking to the man behind her back, she insisted on keeping her eyes set onto Maki.
"Didn't you hear what I just said? I'm not going to stop. You wanted this stupid appreciate-your-next thing to happen and there you have it. It's not my fault she's so breathtaking." She averted her eyes almost immediately, "And it's not my fault she doesn't even notice either."
Maki had never seen someone storm out of a room so suddenly and quickly. The sound of the door clicking shut so immensely loud had echoed through the room several minutes after, causing the red haired to flinch instinctively.
"Can I-" she wanted to finish the question that was sitting on the tip of her tongue as she looked towards the therapist across who seemed too bewildered to even say a thing. But the words wouldn't come out of her mouth, instead, she gestured towards the door that had just swallowed the petite silhouette of the black haired. Fortunately, he seemed to understand and nodded slightly. It did not take any more than such a slight nod to make Maki jump off her seat, taking a path that probably had never been calculated for her in the first place.
But life was about those little surprising changes, about exploring side ways and alleys, about experiencing new sights and sounds and feelings, wasn't it?
About changing your perspective on life forever?
Maki was not sure where to look for Nico when she found herself on the long hallway that connected several other offices and rooms. Instinctively, she walked towards the exit and as soon as she greeted fresh air from outside, she knew she had been spot on with her assumption. Nico was already on her way to a parking lot across the lawn, bag shouldered, a glimpse of the keys in her hands shining due to the reflecting sun lights. Maki made sure to catch her just in time, running over just in the moment she noticed the smaller girl sitting on the driver seat of a pretty small and old-fashioned car. As soon as she had reached her destination, she decided on being reckless.
Because what was life about, if not those little moments of surprise that would turn conformity into divergence?
Reaching for the door of the passenger seat, the red haired pulled it open only to slip into the small interior. "What was that about?" She asked immediately and a little out of breath, locking eyes with the black haired whose expression had turned into an astonished one at her reappearance. Yet, Maki had noticed the smudged black strains on her cheeks, though she did not add anything to it.
"You are always good for a surprise, aren't you?" Nico replied chuckling, hands rested onto the steering wheel in front of her, black leather colliding with the soft skin of hers.
"Why would you say such things unless you actually mean-" Maki stopped herself from continuing, realisation only settling in her overwhelmed mind as she sat on the passenger seat of a stranger's car, talking to a stranger, understanding what was behind a stranger.
She had acted out of an impulse, she had to admit. Running after the black haired instead of giving a second thought to her assertions, without having actually understood what her words were about.
How could she have been so blind?
"Was that what you meant the other day when you said I wouldn't notice?" She inquired dryly.
"Yeah," Nico replied faintly, her ruby eyes settled onto the vision of scenery behind the car's windscreen, "I was surprised you didn't even realise when I had cut off the connection of the phone call the other day."
"I didn't know what to think of it, that's true," Maki said concerned, "but I didn't think that-"
"I would like you?" The black haired interrupted – that was by far the worst habit of hers – "Honestly, Maki, are you stupid?" A short silence followed her words and when she noticed the lack of communication due to the red haired's astonishment, she slammed a tender hand of hers against the steering wheel in front of her. "Answer me!" She demanded furiously, turning her head to the side to meet amethysts.
"I don't know if I-"
"You sure are! I honestly wish I could be punching you instead of this dumb steering wheel! I was falling for you the day you walked in! And I was falling for you with each day that passed! It was literally the worst - Having been reminded of the fact that I used to be called disgusting for showing simple interest in a person like you. I tried avoiding you but damn, you made it so hard for me."
"I didn't do anything!" The red haired tried defending herself, but it was pointless. Pointless to defend, when the offender knew how to fire their shots.
"I realised that it had been a mistake to approach you, so I tried letting it slide. But you had to convince me of that fact that you really were as worth getting to know as I had expected by actually caring about what I had said in front of the others. Did you know what that felt like? Knowing that someone cared? From that day on, I knew there was no going back. So I tried being a friend but when you said that one thing the other day - Oh my god, why did you even say that?"
"About me not being straight?" The scarlet haired inquired, looking down onto her entwined hands in her lap, "Because it's true. At least I think it is."
"W-what do you mean?"
"Isn't that obvious now!" Maki exclaimed, "I didn't understand what it was that made me feel so out of place each time you acted almost too friendly until now. But I think I might have figured and so should have you." Nico was silent for a few minutes and Maki gladly appreciated the silence. When she spoke up again, she wasn't as angry and furious anymore.
"And what's your story, Maki?" She asked quietly and something about her expression made Maki wonder why she had ever rejected closeness to other people when there were people like her.
"I feel like my story is about to be rewritten," the red haired replied just as quiet as she returned the gaze of ruby eyes. Then, she explained further. "I didn't sign myself up for this ridiculous group therapy thing. My aunt did. She was concerned and I don't blame her for worrying about me, but I don' think she realized that loosing my parents wasn't just like loosing a bracelet or something. She thought if I showed up here, I would be able to move on one day which is stupid enough. But I followed her advice since I live at her place. I should be thankful that she agreed to be my legal guardian."
"You don't need to feel thankful. That's common courtesy. Is she your only relative?" Nico interjected interested.
Maki nodded in confirmation, looking for the right words to say. "I know, but she could have just as easily declined, so I am thankful nonetheless. The one thing that I regret most is that I never got to ask my parents for help."
"Help?"
"Yeah. Believe it or not, the people at my school are just as disgusting as yours were. Only that I don't have the comfort of being a graduate already. I still go there everyday. Since my parents were rich, they decided for themselves that money should be just enough to make a person happy. They excluded me on purpose and they were always whispering and mumbling behind my back, it made me sick."
"So you are just like me." Nico stated pensively as if she only realised now how similar strangers could be.
Maki nodded once again before going more into detail. "Probably. But I couldn't just be as mature as you were. I couldn't ignore them. A few months ago, a girl in my class insulted me in front of everyone. They never confronted me face to face before, god knows why. I am not that intimidating." She sighed in between, "Long story made short, I got into a fight with her. First it was only verbally, but eventually I lost my temper and punched her in the face."
Maki looked aside for a brief moment, observing Nico's expression. She knew that it was rather insensitive to mention violence after knowing her background. She wanted to make sure not to hurt her feelings. But Nico's expression did not reveal anything about her thoughts, causing Maki to continue, if slowly.
"It was pretty chaotic. I think she even cried and had to be brought to the school's nurse. Later on, I found out that her nose was broken and honestly, I didn't even care. It was satisfying, actually. The principal didn't think so though. I got expelled from school for two weeks. If my parents had still been alive back then, perhaps then they would have gotten to know."
"What happened to them?" Nico asked, voice almost a whisper. Maki couldn't tell if she was emotionally affected by her explanation or if she was just considerate. Either way, she felt miserable.
"They died in a car crash around a year ago. If they hadn't been overworking themselves all the time, they wouldn't have been so tired while driving. And perhaps, they would have noticed what was going on with their daughter, too."
Now that the had finally told somebody, now that she felt devoid of the weight that had been on her shoulders at all times, the air felt stale to breath in. She wondered why she wasn't even crying - She felt more like throwing up as the memories replayed in her mind.
"You really are interesting, Maki." Nico said after a while, her hand reaching out for the red haired's, wrapping her soft fingers around it.
"How so?" Maki asked surprised, yet she didn't do anything against the firm grip that tightened around her hand.
"Because," Nico explained, "I didn't imagine you to aim for the bad-boy-thug-life image. But I guess such a kind of person is in every high school class?"
"I am not like that!" The red haired emphasized, "I just lose my temper very easily. It's my worst habit and I don't know how to get rid of it and-"
"Stop talking so much." Nico demanded suddenly, "To think that you've been so uncommunicative just some weeks ago. There is a way of calming someone with a bad temper down pretty easily."
Maki found herself surprised yet again. "And what would that be?"
"I'll show you, but you have to do it, no matter what. Alright?"
The red haired nodded slightly and as soon as Nico had perceived said action, she leaned in closer, the grasp around the younger girl's hand tightening even more, her other hand wandering towards the back of her neck. For a second, Maki thought she was hesitating with whatever it was that she had in mind. The way she averted her eyes shortly, if only for a nanosecond, spoke volumes. Said second passed almost instantly and with one swift movement, her face was so close, her lips even closer.
Nico closed the short remaining distance decisively as if her hesitation from seconds before had never existed. Her lips were soft and her kiss was slow. The way she applied pressure to it was demanding, yet careful as if she was still thinking whether this was the right thing or not. It took Maki by surprise, but it didn't take any longer than a short moment for her to catch herself and return what soft lips had begun.
Getting to know a stranger might have been just the right thing.
"Are you going back in there now?" Maki asked afterwards, still only inches apart from the other girl. Nico shook her head, smiling weakly. "I can't. Not after that scene I just caused." She laughed quietly, cheeks flushed, before adding, "Actually, is this even helping you? All of this talking and listening and trying to be nice to each other…"
Maki thought about it for a while. Did it help? To know that there is someone to rely on after all of those years of being alone? She would have answered with a clear yes, but knowing herself, she was way too timid to admit such a thing this square.
"I don't know," Maki admitted, "It's reassuring, I guess? It makes me feel like I'm not alone in this."
Nico nodded understanding, resting her head on Maki's shoulder, her hot breath tickling the red haired's neck as she spoke up. "You aren't alone in this." She assured firmly.
"Do you have to rest your head on my shoulder all the time?" Maki mocked the older girl jokingly, trying to ignore the pounding heart beats inside of her chest.
Had it beat that fast every time? How hadn't she noticed before?
"It's fine, isn't it?" Nico responded quietly, "It's just for a little while."
Little whiles might have become Maki's favorite whiles.
"Where should I put this?"
"Just put it anywhere, Nico! We'll be late if you don't hurry."
"Well, excuse me for being thoughtful. I can put it in the trash bin too, if that's what you want."
Maki sighed. Moving in with Nico had been a decision she had made within seconds but she had not expected Nico to be this…difficult. She should have predicted that after being together for a total of three years now though. She should have sensed it.
"To think that you graduated before me when you still act like a child. Just put it in the bed room and hurry!"
"Why are you so keen on being punctual anyway? I thought you made a reservation?" Nico made sure to quicken her pace as she walked out of the bed room again, towards Maki who was waiting in the doorway already.
"The sky is beautiful tonight," the red haired mentioned as a response, "We should walk instead of taking a cab so we can watch the stars on our way."
Hearing those words, Nico looked at her from the side as she put on her coat, noticing the way Maki's violet eyes were glistening as if she was tearing up.
"Do the images still follow you everywhere?" She asked concerned, trying to sound casual nonetheless so she wouldn't come off insensitive. After all, it had only been a year since they both had stopped going to therapy. Though the both of them were certain that the past didn't affect them as much as it used to be anymore, the images never fully left. Memories were always present, whether shoved away or not, they would always find a void to slip back into someone's mind.
"Sometimes they still do," Maki answered slowly before turning her face directly towards Nico, "but I have a feeling they will be erased one day for sure." She hooked a few loose strands of her fringe behind her ear as she spoke, eyes averted. Then, she looked up again, meeting eyes with Nico. She still looked as if she was about to cry, but something told Nico that it wasn't because of everything she went through. It was because of something else.
"I think I know the reason for hurting less, too." Maki said quietly. For a few moments, she just looked at Nico in silence as if she knew that said silence would explain everything. After a while, she stepped outside onto the staircase in front of their house, the starry night sky in the background as she turned around again to face Nico. The sight of hers looked just like a picture, a painting even, with such beautiful scenery in the background and such a breathtaking person in the foreground.
"Come on. If we don't get going, we will be late."
"Sure." Nico replied chuckling before reaching for the other woman's hand, holding it tightly all the way as the stars watched from above.