I was thinking of Butterfly Effect when "When Doves Cry" came on last night, and so I thought up this piece of nice.
So, in turn, some of the lines belong to whoever wrote the screenplay for Butterfly Effect (it's Ashton Kutcher, I believe). Degrassi belongs to Canada or whatever.
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I wasn't even focusing on the movie, or Paige and JT, but his arm around me. I was warm against his touch. I had one of my hands in my lap and the other on his thigh, and he kept smiling at me. I thought I would melt, right then, right there. I knew that I was shaking, that I was completely and utterly nervous, but I kept smiling and waving at Paige. She never noticed that my hands were shaking. More importantly, he never noticed and I kept gulping and looking up at me. Sure, I had a crush on him. No - it wasn't just a crush. I was inlove with this boy. I wanted him to write me shitty poetry and smile at me everytime he saw me. But I knew that he would never do that. Every single time he touched me, I got a tingle up my spine. I knew that he would never be mine, but I could still fantasize, right? Right. Wrong. I wasn't allowed to. He was Paige's property. And everybody knows that you can't go after your best friend's boy. It was part of being a girl. No exceptions.
I couldn't help the way I felt.
"Paige?" I asked, swiping the tube of lipgloss across my lips.
"Mmm?" Paige replied, pouting into the mirror.
"If I liked someone...that you liked, what would you do?" I capped my lipgloss and slipped it into my pocket. I left my purse on the kitchen counter this morning.
"Well, Ms. Aden, for one, that would never happen. You don't like guys I like. You like black boys." She smiled. "Come on, we're going to be late."
"No, you go ahead." I thought I was going to cry, so I reassured her that she could go; she said she would save me a seat in Media Immersion.
Paige, my best friend, had just insulted me. Yes, I was black. No, I didn't like black boys. Yes, I had once liked Jimmy, but I will never like him again. I pressed my hands up against the bathroom counter, cursing Paige under my breath.
I hated her.
I walked out of the bathroom, and into the hallway, where I saw him conversing with Paige. "Spin!" I called.
"Oh, hey, Haze."
I smiled sweetly at Paige, then grabbed Spinner and kissed him.
Then I started to cry.
"Hazel?" Paige cried.
I walked away from her; back to the bathroom; back into the shadows.
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End. Much love,
Zoe