Sara quickly changed into her workout gear and tried not to make too much of a scene as she slipped into the class mid warm up. It was the third time she had been late this month and the teacher was starting to notice, the unforgiving gaze of the rest of the class burning into her as she wandered to the back row.
"Sorry I'm late!" her usual sparring partner Robyn was coincidentally even later than she was and Sara silently thanked her for taking the irate stares instead. She stumbled over her excuses as the teacher ignored her. "Traffic you know? And my sitter was late and then I couldn't find my shoes … and …never mind. I'll…."
Robyn rolled her eyes as she trudged to the back of the room and took position beside Sara, the rest of the room continuing with their work out. She had been coming to this class for almost a year and was yet to gel with any of the other girls. She and Robyn were outcasts; they didn't turn up with the latest overpriced brand names dripping off their bodies like a second skin. They weren't there to impress the men in the Gym upstairs or maintain their ridiculously slim frames so they could fit into the barely there dresses they wore as they crawled out of nightclubs at 3am. They didn't fit with the others at all so maybe that was why they seemed to gravitate towards each other right at the beginning.
"God I am starving now" Robyn smiled as she stashed her towel in her locker and took another swig of her water after class. "I didn't have time for dinner before I came out"
"And you were still late?" Sara grinned, pulling the hairband from her hair and combing it through.
Robyn shrugged; she was late for class every week. She had once confessed to Sara that she had been late for her own wedding, and not on purpose either. She did say that was probably why he left her 3 months later but Sara chose to take that as a joke.
"can I treat you to a coffee and a sandwich after this?" Robyn asked, keeping her voice low so that the others didn't hear and invite themselves too.
It had become a regular thing lately. After class they would head to a tiny coffee house on the corner and solve all of the problems in the world. It had been on one of these coffee breaks that Sara had been struck with an epiphany to set Robyn up with Greg. It had, of course, been a great success and Sara had never seen Greg happier.
"I kinda wanted to pick your brains about something anyway…" she began, staring into her coffee nervously.
"something about Greg?" Sara smiled.
It wasn't often she was approached by people looking for advice on relationships. Most people she socialised with knew about her unconventional relationship with Grissom and steered clear of the subject. But even she recognised that when it came to Greg, no-one knew him better.
"has he mentioned that maybe there could be an…. Issue … between us…. Lately?" Robyn stumbled nervously over her words, a pink flush colouring her cheeks.
"what kind of issue?" Sara sipped her coffee keeping her eyes on her friend across the table.
"its probably nothing" she shook her head and busied herself searching in her purse "forget I said anything"
She diverted her eyes, fishing her phone from deep in the purse and fixing her eyes on it to avoid looking at Sara.
"no, come on" Sara soothed, closing her hand over Robyn's " what issue? Is it a communication issue? Work issue? A sex issue?"
There was no mistaking the way Robyn's eyes shot to hers and she nodded ever so slightly.
"sex?"
"it's just…. Well we haven't actually… you know… went there… yet"
"really?" she tried to keep the smile from her face but her lips were curling of their own accord.
Greg had been claiming macho points from Nick for weeks on the basis that he was getting some and Nick wasn't. Nick's girlfriend was on a sex ban kick, claiming that she read it could be good for a long term relationship to abstain from sex for a while. Nick, being Nick, was practically climbing the walls and Greg took great joy in teasing him about it.
"he hasn't mentioned anything…" Sara reassured.
"its not that we don't want to…really, its just…. Time and… circumstances and …Joel and it seems like the longer we pretend its not an issue… the harder its going to be to… do… it"
Robyn's embarrassment was endearing. she could remember having the same concerns when she first started dating Grissom. The more time that passed the bigger the pressure became and in the end they had only waited 3 weeks. Greg and Robyn had been together closer to 3 months the tension must be almost suffocating.
"why don't you just talk to him?" Sara suggested.
Greg wasn't like most men, you could talk to him about anything without worrying he would be judgemental or over sensitive about it.
"see that's the thing. I don't know if he thinks its an issue at all. If he doesn't and I bring it up then it becomes an issue"
Sara pondered this for a few seconds, she tried to think about the reason's Greg could have for not pursuing things further with Robyn. He wasn't known for being promiscuous although he would like people to think he was at times, the fact was Greg took his relationships very seriously.
"you know, he's probably just trying to be a gentleman and waiting till you're ready. Maybe you should take the initiative. Cook him a nice meal, wear your best lingere… light some candles and let nature take its course" she smiled.
She remembered how well that approach had worked for her although Grissom had been the one cooking. Sara and cooking didn't mix very well.
"I wish I could but nothing kills the mood faster than a 4 year old in dinosaur pyjama's"
Robyns son Joel was one of the most intelligent 4 year olds Sara had ever met. He knew more about dinosaurs and fossils than most adults and Robyn claimed she did nothing to promote his keen interest in information. The way he hungrily devoured his books reminded her of herself as a child.
"well… why don't you let me take him off your hands for a few hours? We can go see the dinosaur exhibit in the luxor and he can take me to dinner" she smiled "its been a while since a handsome younger man took me out"
Robyn seemed genuinely touched by the sentiment.
"you would do that?" she smiled.
"of course! Tell Greg you're doing something and when you pick him up I'll take Joel. Just… don't tell me the details ok? I got to get to work!"
They said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
The long shift took it out of her. Sara slid into the soft leather of the chair with a sigh that she was sure would deflate her entire body. She was exhausted, but instead of planning an evening at home with a bubble bath and a bottle of wine she decided that tonight she needed company. She needed distraction and conversation.
"You guys want to grab a beer after shift?" she smiled at both Nick and Greg, happy for either one to be her escort for the night if it couldn't be both. She knew Nick could probably do with some time out for certain; he was struggling to cope with his new living arrangements or rather his new roommate in the form of his long term girlfriend Melissa. She had lost count of the rants she had listened to regarding the woman; she would have had her tarred as the most unreasonable woman on the planet if she took Nick's word as gospel.
"Robyn's picking me up after work…" Greg began with a wicked smile "we're going Salsa dancing"
"Your extracurricular activities never cease to amaze me Greg" she teased, suddenly remembering her promise to babysit. in all honesty she was glad Greg had found someone, especially someone she got along with. If they ever did get married it would be essential that she approved.
"I'm in. I promised Melissa a whole weekend of alone time… she can think I'm working late tonight" he winked, sipping his coffee slowly.
"What do you have planned?" Sara pondered the definition of alone time and what it meant in her relationship. She and Grissom had never been a couple who went on 'dates' their alone time consisted of watching movies together or reading side by side in bed. Their understated romance had become an understated marriage but one that she cherished with every beat of her heart.
"I dunno…. It's all so samey. We've been out for dinner and at the movies and bowling a million times…. What else is there to do?" Nick sighed, flicking through the newspaper distractedly.
"you know Morgan and I went to that new adventure golf place last weekend" Hodges piped up, fixing himself a mug of coffee and slouching in the chair by the door with a smug smile on his face as he was met with the surprised expressions on the 3 faces in front of him. He didn't notice Morgan creeping into the room behind him.
"You forgot to mention that our parents were there too…" she smiled, wiping the grin off his face in an instant.
"I didn't really think that was relevant…" he argued, shrugging off her tease.
"And they paid" Morgan smiled as she sat down, holding a mug in her hands. Sara would admit that she enjoyed seeing Hodges squirm and no one could make him squirm more than Morgan could.
"Again" Hodges stated with a wave of his hand "it's hardly…"
"And I won" she interrupted, smiling at Greg with a victorious grin.
"I don't really think we should be discussing our personal lives in the office sweetie" Hodges answered through gritted teeth as he tried to save face in front of his colleagues. They all thought Morgan was way out of his league and if he was honest with himself he probably did too but he was slowly breaking through her defences and charming her with his wit. She threw her head back and laughed as she crossed around the table with an evil glint in her eye.
"We'd have to have a personal life first and call me sweetie again and I'll tell them about the windmill fiasco"
With a final glance around to make sure everyone was suitably intrigued Morgan left the break room and headed off in search of Henry and her results. Hodges was suddenly aware of all eyes on him, waiting for him to confess.
"I… uhh she's… she's kidding" he muttered, backing out of the room quickly "I… should um I should go after her…"
Sara rolled her eyes and turned back to Nick and Greg, she was about to tease them both for sitting there texting on their cell phones when her own phone broke the silence of the room.
She didn't recognise the number immediately and it surprised her. The only people who ever called her unannounced were in the same room. She drew her eyes across the numbers highlighting her screen. It was a San Francisco dial code.
"Sara Sidle?" she answered with a frown.
"Good morning Miss Sidle, my name is Mary Bishop. I'm calling from NBCBM"
Sara's mind took a few seconds to catch up. North Bay Centre for Behavioural Medicine, the institute where her mother received her therapy. It had been a long 3 years since she had last been in San Francisco, why her mother would be calling her out of the blue escaped her.
"Sure, I'll take her call" she wandered out into the corridor. It wasn't so much that she was embarrassed by her mother's ramblings it was more to do with the fact that neither Nick nor Greg knew that her mother was institutionalized. She was doing well, really well in fact for the past few years. It seemed that Sara's visit had done them both some good but she was nowhere near being properly rehabilitated. Sara doubted that would ever happen.
"This isn't a social call, Miss Sidle. I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your mother passed away this morning"
Her statement hung in the air like a cloud of smoke, descending over her slowly and with a suffocating power she couldn't fight. She had heard those words before, she had said those words to distraught families while she looked at them with what she hoped was a sympathetic expression. Hearing them was a different experience altogether. She couldn't claim to be close to her mother but that was the only family she had left, the only person besides Grissom she could call family.
"How did it happen?" she muttered, the shock making itself heard in her voice.
She wasn't sure why she asked, the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her she knew already. She said the word almost simultaneously with Mary on the other end of the phone.
"Suicide… We need you to make the arrangements and sign her documentation. You're her next of kin."
It felt stale to be addressed as 'next of kin' like she was nothing more to the woman than a name on a piece of paper. She was her daughter, they were bonded in a way that no-one could take away no matter how many years passed without a call or what horrible things she had done; that was her mother they were talking about. The woman who gave her life, then irrevocably messed it up. She may not have been much to her mother but she was her daughter.
"I'm her daughter" she placed a heavy emphasis on the word, feeling an odd sense of resentment towards the woman on the other end of the phone "I'll be there as soon as I can"
She could feel her body shudder as she slowly walked back to the break room. Shock could manifest itself in many ways, in her case trembling hands and an unshakeable dizziness. The colour drained out of her skin, she could almost feel the chalky white sinking into her pores and emphasizing the rings under her eyes as Nick and Greg looked up at her with those eyes. Those sympathetic eyes, before they even knew what was going on.
"Hey Nick?... I need to take a rain check on tonight…" she spoke to the room, not really registering who was in it or where they were her mind was occupied with a million thoughts all jostling for prime position in her consciousness. She had to get to San Francisco…. She had cases to be covered and paperwork to file and then she needed to call Grissom. He should know his mother in law was dead, even if he never met her. She had a brother out there somewhere too, would she have time to track him down before the funeral? She deserved a funeral after all; everyone deserved to have one last goodbye.
"Sara? Is everything ok?" Greg recognised her confusion; he swung his arm around her and placed her gently in the chair by his side.
"No… my mother… she's dead"