-Hello one and all to everyone, those of you who're returning to read this, or those of you who have just found this. I only ask you not to be intimidated by the length of the chapters you will find in this story. It is my firm belief that chapters should be longer than shorter. My apologies to other ADD people out there. And thank you to all who review.

All characters are owned by J.K. Rowling, other than the ones that aren't. Riiight. You know which ones are, and you'll figure out which ones aren't. This will only be said once, since the link always opens up to this page.

J.S.

PROLOGUE: The Farcical Beginning

(see footnotes at end of chapters)

"Welcome one and all to this Quidditch match; New Zealand versus Australia. My name is Theo Elder, and I will be your game keeper for tonight!" He paused for a second, but there was no applause to be heard. Liam laughed and glanced at his father but, like usual, no emotions graced the perfectly white face. In the shade of their box seats, his father looked like a ghost. Liam considered telling him, but thought better of it. "Any way," continued the commentator, "the match! New Zealand versus Australia!" This time Theo had to call a halt to his commentary to let tremendous roars from the crowd subside. "We all know that this match is one of the most highly anticipated in the entire Southern Hemisphere League season, at least in this area, and it will definitely live up to it. All the way from New Zealand, lets give the Wellington Kiwis a welcome!" Elder called out the names as they sped by, "The Chasers: Geoffrey Gnasst, Beldy Boric, and Peter Gove! The Beaters: Hans Alvin and Andrew Kellet! Keeper Katie Tayene, and Seeker Hugo Narthing! Welcome!" The New Zealand side of the arena erupted with applause and wild yells. Liam clapped politely and waited for Theo to continue. "And now give a welcome to your Australian team!" Liam looked through his omniuclars and saw the seven Firebolts streak by. "I give you: Robert Maxx, Christopher Yalemon, and Zachary Blitz as your Chasers. Erin Langhart and Alan Knars as your Beaters. Ode Harrow as your one and only Keeper," a uproar from both the English and the New Zealand sides, "and Seeker Gene Davids! If the referees are ready, let the game begin!" There was a short blast of a whistle, and the game did commence.

Liam watched as the player called Davids fly strait up to circle overhead, Hugo Narthing tailed closely behind.

"What do you think, Liam?" someone behind him asked. Liam turned around to see his friend, Erick Aldin vault the row of seats directly behind Liam and sit down. Two of his friends followed. "Game's going to be good, huh? But the Kiwis stand Buckley's chance of beating us." Liam nodded and turned back to the game. Not much had happened. Ode Harrow flew almost lazily, like he had the intention to catch the Quaffle himself and score, back to the goals he was supposed to defend while the Australian Chasers, who had lost the Quaffle, took up the pursuit of the New Zealand Chasers. This had a particularly heart-stopping effect when the Australian Chasers passed Ode Harrow, who didn't seem so keen on the whole situation.

"Strewth (1)," Erick squealed when Ode barely made it to the posts to make the save, "he's a rip snorter (2) of a Keeper today isn't he?"

Liam, who was sitting on the edge of his seat as well, nodded. "Yeah," he gasped, when Ode had safely sent the Quaffle on its way down to the other end of the field, "but he's never as relaxed as this. He must really be enjoying it."

"You're sister's not finding herself much action today," Erick noted. "Normally she has a blue with what, three people each match, and knocks them off their brooms?"

Liam smiled. "Yeah, something like that. She'll come 'round sometime." He watched as his sister, Erin, dive to intercept a Bludger aimed at Davids. "She told me that they expect the New Zealand team's strategy is to keep Davids to preoccupied with saving her own skin to look for the Snitch. That's why Erin's keeping such a close tab on Davids."

"Right," Erick said. "Isn't their strategy normally that?"

Liam laughed and nodded. "Are you and Davids still together?" Liam asked.

"Yeah," Erick answered, intent on the game. "If they so much as scratch her, I'll kill 'em." Liam chuckled at the absent-minded comment. Erick's eyes widened as the New Zealand keeper made a good save, but not as nerve wrenching as Ode's was. The New Zealand Beaters aimed two Bludgers at each ends of an Australian Chaser's broom as he tore across the field, but had to duck them as Alan Knars and Erin intercepted them.

Elder's voice kept an ongoing commentary. "Those were two very well aimed Bludgers; amazing that Maxx was able to maneuver around them. Maxx going for another goal, dodges another Bludger by Kellet, shoots...and Tayene saves!" There was a roar from the Kiwis. "Tayene passes the Quaffle to Gnasst, Gnasst is up the field followed closely by Gove. Bludger to Gnasst from Langhart, Gnasst spins and passes the Quaffle to Gove. Gove back up the field, dodges Chaser Blitz, shoots and... and Harrow saves the Quaffle!" There was a slight pause in the commentary as Ode gathered his Chasers and whispered orders to them. Theo continued. "All I can say is that this had better not be a very dirty game, seeing as how both the Australian and New Zealand reserve teams are now playing each other at the Wellington stadium. All we can do is pray, and play civilly," he added, as Alan Knars rocketed a Bludger towards Tayene.

Liam tried to pay attention to his sister, but his eyes kept drifting towards either Harrow or Narthing. Whenever Harrow made a save, the Australians would cheer and when he made a particularly difficult save, the Kiwis would join in. One of the saves, Harrow dove from his broom and scooped the Quaffle up right before it had the chance to go through a hoop. His broom dove below him and he landed perfectly.

"I read somewhere that Ode gets that trick from a Quidditch keeper about a hundred years ago. Name of Devin Bates, I think, but no one knows that now. As far as they're concerned, that's one of Ode's specialties. It works almost every time. Hah! Remember that one time when we he was playing verse Swaziland?" Liam nodded, smirking at the memory, and the game progressed. The Quaffle went in turn to the New Zealand keeper, who missed by a fraction of an inch, and the score was 10 to 0.

"Ace (3)!" Erick yelled happily, pumping the air with his fist. "Heck, I'm certainly glad I chucked a sickie (4) to see this. Bloody awesome!" Liam's father narrowed his eyes at Erick's outburst, but remained silent.

The Quaffle was played across the field so many times Liam lost count. He only vaguely kept track of Elder's commentary. For a while he watched Harrow, but soon became bored as he saw that Harrow was now completely swept up into the game to perform any more tricks. The Seekers were far more interesting to watch. Almost as soon as he turned the omniuclars to Narthing, Narthing went into a very steep dive. "Don't follow the bloke, Gene, don't follow," Liam heard Erick whispering behind him. Thankfully Davids didn't follow, and Liam saw why. There wasn't any Snitch in the direction that Narthing was heading; Narthing had pulled a Wronski Feint. Davids took a quick look around the pitch, scanned the whole area in a few seconds, and took off in the opposite direction that Narthing had dove. "Hah!" Erick exclaimed in satisfaction. "Serves the donger (5)..."

"Erick," Liam warned and jerked his head to where his father sat next to him. Erick smiled but fell silent.

Narthing pulled out of his dive just in time to see Davids take off across the field. With a quick turn, Narthing was in fast pursuit. Soon he was at Davids tail, and pulling steadily up the side. Then he swerved and dove. Suddenly, a Bludger from the New Zealand Beaters collided with Davids' gut, sending her spinning from her broom. Another Bludger promptly broke her Firebolt in half. There was an uproar from the Australian crowd.

"That was a nasty trick played by the New Zealand Beaters! When the Seeker is within catching distance of the Snitch only the other Seeker can attack him," Elder lectured. "Deserves a foul, and yes there are the referees, going to talk to them. A very nasty trick indeed! Stupid, really, that's one of the things you learn the first day at camp. It's not a new rule, either! Merlin, what were the Kiwis thinking? I can't believe that actually happened in an international game! We're supposed to have quality Quidditch, not this bodgy stuff that they just did! What the hell were they thinking?" Liam was quite shocked to see all the heads on the New Zealand side of the arena turn to where Elder stood. Cat calls and magically magnified raspberries erupted in an instant, drowning out the commentary. Someone must have said something up in the box because Elder's voice grew suddenly quieter. However, the loss of Elder's ridicule only drove the Australian spectators to scream louder. The chanting that undertoned Elder's commentary now grew to a steady roar.

Indeed, Erick was quite engrossed in it all. "Unfair!" Erick was yelling from behind Liam. "The bloody refs didn't see that coming? As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike, they are!" Liam looked around and saw that most of the other Australian supporters were thinking the same as Erick. They were all, mostly, standing and making rather obtrusive gestures to the Kiwi spectators on the other side of the field, who were, in turn, sending their own pleasant messages along as well. Liam looked sheepishly at his father, and saw that a stern look had replaced the normally emotion absent face. It wasn't until Elder's voice gasped until the ranting subsided enough to hear a communal 'ooh' from the crowd and Liam focused back on Davids, expecting to see her on the ground and lying in an odd position. She wasn't.

Narthing had her by the back of her jersey and was slowly drifting down to the ground. Medical wizards were rushing onto the field as Narthing lay Davids down and took off again. Liam looked back at Erick, whose fist was halfway down. He had a look of complete surprise on his face that could almost be comparable to relief. If Narthing had been trying to redeem his team, the effect of his deed certainly hit the spot. Almost immediately afterwards the entire stadium had returned to the normal buzz of conversation. The medics wrestled a rather bloody Davids off the field, and she didn't return. The Australians were down a player; it was the most important player that they had. Liam scanned the remaining Australian players with his omnioculars, and saw that Erin Langhart had a look of pure loathing on her face.

"Check out my sister," he whispered, back to Erick.

Quickly Erick moved his omnioculars up to where she was floating and laughed. "Someone's going to have a blue (6) with the other Bludgers," Erick snorted. "Maybe I should postpone my trip to the hospital wing; this game might just be a corker."

Meanwhile, back on the field, the game had resumed. Blitz had missed during the penalty shot, and the Quaffle was now streaking back towards the Australian goal. Harrow came up quickly to block the shot, but the Chaser, Gnasst, dodged and put the Quaffle through the goal. There were mixed emotions from the crowd. Erick and Liam moaned, but the other side of the stadium exploded with cries of support to their team. Harrow righted himself after flipping over, and looked around. The Quaffle had returned to Blitz, who passed it to Maxx. Maxx dodged Gove, passed back to Blitz, who looped the keeper and put the Quaffle through the hoop. The score was 60 to 20.

Gnasst took the Quaffle back up the field, but was hit halfway by a Bludger from Erin. She was given a penalty, which Harrow blocked effortlessly. Harrow threw the Quaffle to Maxx, who sped back up the pitch. Liam held his breath as he saw Narthing dive. This time, the New Zealand Seeker had really spotted the Snitch. It was hovering at the base of the Australian middle goal. "Holy dooley," Erick whispered in surprise. Two Bludgers collided into Narthing one after the other. The New Zealand Seeker slid off his broom, unconscious and crashed into the sand beneath him. Liam focused his omnioculars on the Seeker and cringed. More medi wizards were rushing onto the field to hustle Narthing off the pitch.

"What is going on?" Elder yelled. "What did I just say? You cannot attack a Seeker when he is in within catching distance of the Snitch! What is this? And Hugo Narthing doesn't look like he's in fit playing condition any more, either! There are the refs, going to talk to Erin Langhart."

Liam's heart sank. "You're sister's blood's worth bottling (7)," Erick congratulated. "Forget the game, she's a corker (8) of a kid."

"I guess she is," Liam whispered. "But it doesn't look good for her."

"Yup, so you say, Liam," Erick agreed. "That ref there is giving her a red tag. She'll not be seeing another game for a few months." Erick paused for a second, brow contracting. "What a stupid Banana Bender (9)," he said. "I suppose he's too stupid to realize that this is the grand finale to the whole season. Oh, wait." Erick stopped talking abruptly. "That's not good." The ref had handed her an ordinary slip of paper instead of the traditional laminated red one. "Did he just give her Quidditch contract back? Oh, man. I'm sorry mate." Erick gave Liam a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "Yeah, that'd be right. She's going to spit the dummy (10), I 'spose."

Back on the pitch, Erin looked as though she was cursing quite colorfully at the ref. She clutched her contract in her hand and was jabbing her finger in his chest. The ref whipped out his wand and Erin backed off, giving the wand a nasty look. With a few more thoughts ornamented and flourished with socially unacceptable language, Erin flew off the pitch. Boos at the ref from the Australian spectators were even louder than when Davids had been knocked off her broom. The ref gave a short blast on his whistle and the game embarked again.

Gnasst took the penalty shot and missed, predictably. As soon as the captured Quaffle left Harrow's hand, he became very alert. As the other players sped away from him, across the pitch, Harrow froze. Liam could only see his eyes moving, searching the ground and then the stadium. Suddenly, they too froze. There was a pause, and then he dove with superb grace. Liam smiled, sure that he had not seen a dive so flawless, or vertical, before. Ode had finally decided to amuse the crowd.

The stadium was completely quiet; everyone was trying to see what Harrow had. Elder's commentary had stopped, again. Maxx, who had just been knocked off his broom by Alvin and was hanging on by just one hand, turned to look at Harrow. The referees' whistles were halfway to their mouths, and even the Chaser that had the Quaffle, turned to watch. Turning sharply to the right, Harrow pulled out of the dive. His hand was clasped around a struggling, golden ball. Everyone on the New Zealand team looked very confused.

Elder's voice broke the silence. His voice seemed weak. "There you have it," he wheezed. "Ode Harrow has caught the Snitch. Australia wins, 210 to 20." The Australian supporters exploded.

"Well, Liam," Erick said, standing up, "I guess I'll see you later then. I suppose I'm overdue to check on Gene. Ah, well, she'll live. Normally does, you know." He grinned and turned to leave with his two friends. "Tell your sister that I'm sorry. She should move up to the North and then she can play again; shouldn't just let her talent go to waste, should she?"

Liam shook his head and waved as Erick left the box. "Father," Liam said, "I suppose we should go find Erin."

"I can't believe that they gave it back to me," Erin sobbed, flinging the crumpled Quidditch contract onto an end table when she stormed through the front door to their flat. Liam sighed, picking the bent contract up, and took her coat. "Now what am I going to do with my life? No, wait, I remember, Quidditch was my life."

"Quite being sarcastic, Erin, and sit down," Liam demanded.

Erin sank into a chair and sniffed. "I did the exact same thing as Kellet and Alvin," she complained. "So why did I get my contract pulled?"

"Well, they didn't break Gene's back and compound fracture her femur, now did they?"

Erin stared up into Liam's complacent face. "He deserved it," she whispered and buried her face in her hands. "I'd do it again."

"You don't have to tell me, little sister," Liam explained and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "I know you would."

"Tell me I'll never loose you," she pleaded. Liam smiled as though he thought she was half-hysterical, which she was. "Please, just promise me." Liam heaved a tremendous sigh, holding out her contract. Erin growled and tore it from his grasp.

"I promise," he said and knelt before her, taking both her hands in his. "I promise that nothing will ever happen to take me away." He bowed his head for a moment. "Still," he continued, gazing up at his sister. "There will be nothing that can tear you away from me." Erin glanced up with a wicked smile then hid her face. "Anyway, look on the bright side of things. You can now go about your experiments with absolutely nothing to sidetrack you."

Erin's eyes lit up as she lifted her head. "Yeah, that sounds alright," she agreed halfheartedly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "I 'spose I didn't dux (11) N.E.W.T.S in potions and charms for nothing."

Liam smiled kindly and patted her on the knee, rising. "So, what are you going to do?" he asked, staring out a window across the Bay. Erin grunted a response. "Could have guessed," Liam snickered, pulling at his chin. "You should spend some time thinking about it of course, but I know that they're looking for potion masters down in Melbourne." He turned back around to Erin, laughing at her confused look. "You know," he elaborated with a shrug. "They've got a shortage at the Department of Interrogations."

Erin rolled her eyes. "I'm not anything like a potion master," she replied, sulking, and lowered her eyes.

Liam gave her foot a little kick with his toe, drawing her attention back to him. "Right, Erin," he said sarcastically. "I don't know anyone at secondary school who was conchier (12) than you. I don't think anyone had duxed their N.E.W.T.S before you." He grinned. "Heck, even the potions professor Grey couldn't compete with you."

Erin sighed. "Well, I dunno," she sniffed, systematically shredding her Quidditch contract. "I guess I did leave a few loose ends about when I left to play Quidditch," she agreed. "There was that one about..."

Liam cut her off. "Now, listen," he chuckled, heading towards the door. "I'm sure I would be bored to tears if I stayed to hear you name all the experiments you didn't do when you were at school." He shook his head fondly. "Little sister, there was a reason you weren't allowed to do them."

"Yeah," Erin agreed darkly. "Only because Grey wouldn't let me use white gas to heat my cauldron and I couldn't get it hot enough with just wood fire. She was such a blery coward." Liam snorted and strode across the expansive room to an old bookshelf. He slid a heavy book from the collection. "What's that?" Erin wondered.

"English Imperialism in the Eighteenth Century," Liam answered, flopping into an armchair on the other side of the room. "We're trying to figure out how to get the Parliament to let Aborigines..."

"And that's where I stop you," Erin smiled, only half-aware that she was no longer thinking about the Quidditch game. "Do you realize that you're the only wizard in that Muggle government?" Liam glanced over at her from his book and nodded. "Well, nice of you to get out of the wizarding rut."

"Father's not all that pleased I decided to go into government," Liam reminded her, returning to his book. "Muggle government, that is," he corrected before Erin could. She leaned over the arm of her chair and peered through the filmy curtains covering the large window. The brilliant summer sun drenched Sydney in dazzling reflections off the bay.

"I might as well get back into potions," Erin sighed, speaking to herself. Liam lowered his book and watched as she pondered. "I probably will need something to do soon." She shivered. "Urgh, boredom, one of the few things I despise." She glared at the Quidditch contract confetti in her hand and threw it to the floor. "It'd give me something to do." Erin pulled her wand from her pocket and pointed it at the paper remnants drifting to the floor.

"Erin!" Liam cried, cowering in his chair at the sight of her wand. "What are you doing?" And explosion rocked their flat and Liam dove to the floor. When the dust had cleared, Liam spotted Erin sitting complacently in her chair as though nothing had happened. "What was that for?" Erin looked over her shoulder and smirked wickedly. Grumbling, Liam rose from the ground, picked up his book, and seated himself back in his chair.

"Geez," Erin complained. "Don't see why it's such a big deal when I use my wand."

Liam rolled his eyes. "Well, it could be because you nearly destroy everything when you use it," he gasped, turning to the page he had been reading before he was rudely interrupted. "Besides, I can still remember when you accidentally set my broomstick on fire," Liam muttered distractedly. "Anyway, I'll tell the people at the Department to give you an application."

Erin turned back to face him. "You really think they'll want someone like me who's not touched a cauldron for almost six years?" she asked.

Liam shrugged and buried his nose in his book. "Wouldn't hurt to find out," he said. "I've heard they look at N.E.W.T scores." Erin grinned and returned to staring out across the Bay.

FOOTNOTES:

Strewth: mild oath. Similar to Hotspur's s'blood in Henry IV part one

Rip snorter: fantastic

Ace: excellent!

Chuck a sickie: take a day off from work for fun

Donger: not exactly a nice thing to call someone

Have a blue: a fight

Blood's worth bottling: a good person

A corker: something excellent

Banana Bender: someone from Queensland

Spit the dummy: become upset

Dux: top of the class. Very like Hermione Granger

Conchy: conscientious