Alfred walked down the streets of the city toward his apartment for the night. He was returning from a wild time at the bar that had ended with Francis and Iggy Butt having sloppy drunken make-outs on the floor. Alfred had decided to leave before things got too… messy.
As he kept walking, he heard a voice calling him over from a dark alleyway. Thinking to himself "Why the fuck not" he walked over to the dark alleyway where he was confronted by a strange old looking man in a dark hooded cloak.
"You seem to be quite the prankster," the shady man said, holding out a vile of pinkish fluid. "Slip this into someone's drink and you'll be in for the prank of your life." Handing Alfred the vile, the old man then slipped away into the darkness on a skateboard.
"LOL cool I'm going to totes prank Iggy Butt next time I see him," he says to himself, pocketing the vile. He continued along the road until he reached his apartment. Deciding he wanted something to drink, he walked into the kitchen, only to stop right at the entrance. Because right there, in the middle of the darkened kitchen with only a dim light coming from a lit candle on a table, was Iggy Butt himself, standing straight and stiff with a horribly creepy smile on his face staring right at Alfred.
"Iggy Butt! What are you doing here? Weren't you just having sloppy drunken make-outs with Francis back at the bar?" Alfred asked sacredly.
"Hello bloody git bloke wanker git git I have to go take a piss in your garden of dreams I made us some tea while you wait just DON'T DRINK ANY UNTIL I RETURN FROM PISSING ON ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS hehe~!" Iggy Butt said as he flew out of the room and out the window.
"OMG he's such an asshole he left his cup fully exposed I think I'll use the stuff that radical old man gave me." Alfred took the vile out of his purse and poured the contents into Iggy Butt's cup of tea. "Aw yeah it's coffee flavored my fav."
Iggy Butt then returned from his piss break by crashing through the ceiling. He took his place across from Alfred at the candle lit table and stared at him intensely. "Isn't this ROMANTIC~ I wish Antonio and Tino were here then we could have a foursome hey WHY AREN'T YOU DRINK YOUR TEA OMG." And then Iggy Butt proceeded to down his entire cup of tea.
"OMG I wonder what kind of prank is going to happen maybe his butt will turn into a whoopee cushion OMG THAT WOULD BE SO COOL," Alfred thought to himself as he watched Iggy Butt drink all of the tea. A couple of moments passed and Alfred thought to himself, "OMG where is the whoopee butt this is taking to long that goddamn hippy gave me a dud ugh this only proves you can never trust hippies or commies."
And then suddenly Iggy Butt's eyebrows began to sparkle and glow.
Alfred had a really bad feeling about this.
Iggy Butt's eyebrows had begun to grow and come together by now, taking up the entirety of his face. He laughed manically as his eyebrows traveled across the rest of his body, the eyebrows shredding his clothing as they advanced. Soon enough, Iggy Butt had become an eyebrow. "I AM NO LONGER IGGY BUTT," the giant eyebrow said to Alfred. "I AM NOW IGGY BUTT EYEBROW MCDESU XII AND I AM GOING TO FATHER YOUR CHILDREN."
Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII wrapped around Alfred and flung them both into the oven. "IT'S GETTING PRETTY HOT IN HERE, DON'T YOU THINK, WANKER?" Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII then proceeded to fuck Alfred's brains out and bake a cake with it. Alfred and Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII then proceeded to eat the cake together and talk about world economics and lesbians. Alfred then proceeded to give birth to two beautiful baby eyebrows.
"They have your eyes," Alfred said lovingly to Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII.
"AND THEY HAVE YOUR NANTUCKET~," Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII replied before he proceeded to eat their children.
"OMG WATER YOU DOING THOSE ARE MY BABIES," Alfred screamed throwing all of the eyebrows out of the window. The baby eyebrows were lucky enough to have to ability to fly unlike their father who fell to the ground. Alfred ran out to where Iggy Butt Eyebrow McDesu XII had fallen only to find Iggy Butt there instead.
"OMG YOU BLOODY BLOKE GIT WANKER GIT WANKER FUCKASS WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU PUT IN MY TEA IT TASTED LIKE COFFEE I HATE YOU," Iggy Butt screamed at Alfred and began to sob grossly.
"No man no I'm sorry it's okay let's go back to my place and fuck okay?" Alfred said, snuggling up to Iggy Butt and flying back through the window and into his bedroom. They then proceeded to fuck each other's brains out and bake them into cakes until Antonio and Tino came over. Iggy Butt proceeded to spontaneously combust and Alfred, Antonio, and Tino proceeded to watch Nyan~ Neko Sugar Girls.
The End.