Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.
Dietlinde Eckhart was hungry. Very hungry. Which was understandable, as she hadn't really eaten anything substantial in a few days. So she made her way downstairs to the kitchen, and from there, to the refrigerator.
She eyed its contents. Yogurt? No. Ham? No. Pig brains? Definitely not. And then she saw it.
String cheese!
She took the bag of cheesy goodness out of the fridge and sat down at the table. Taking a stick from the bag, she admired the golden-yellow exterior of the string cheese. She bent it back, and then let go. It bounced slightly, but didn't break. What a lovely invention.
Smirking, Eckhart began pulling the cheese apart. But as she raised the strip to her mouth, she stopped. It was just so pretty. Why not play with it some more?
Then she got an idea.
The insane Nazi woman began tying each section of string cheese together, forming a single two-foot long piece. After tying the ends together, she slipped the loop over her head. She had done it.
She had constructed the most beautiful string cheese necklace in history.
Something this amazing, thought Eckhart, must be shown to my subordinates!
Getting up from the table, she skipped over to the fridge and put the bag of string cheese away. But then something happened.
Something awful.
Well, actually, it was something wonderful. Something that made babies stop crying. Something that made even the most miserable people in the world sing the most joyful tunes. And something that made the authoress want to jump up and dance.
Eckhart closed the refrigerator door on her string cheese necklace.
As she turned, it twisted around her neck, rendering her unable to move and depriving her of oxygen.
And seconds later, she was dead. Which is how it should be.
END
If there's a particular way you'd like to see Eckhart die, feel free to tell me and I'll try to include it in later chapters!