Alex drummed her fingers against the black leather steering wheel, to the beat of some over played pop song playing through the radio, of her black BMW. The windows rolled completely down letting in as much sun as possible. It was the first day without rain in longer than Alex could remember. She slid her fingers through her soft black hair, becoming more and more impatient with the traffic ahead of her.
She flipped through a few stations of commercials before settling on something with a little less rap. Alex was never the one for hip hop but she hated commercials even more, so she settled on a pop station. The song she stopped on was a little slow but she figured it might help calm down her impending road rage.
"Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you…"
"….But, ain't nobody love you like I do…"
Alex sighed and rolled her green eyes. Sometimes she really, hated the effect that music had on her. She loved it deeply but the mood of a song could bring her from feeling strong and independent to lonely and heartbroken in just a few moments. She would catch herself in her feelings and reminiscing of the past when this particular song came on. Alex thought briefly of changing it but she didn't like to admit the tortured part of her that enjoyed hurting and longing.
"….Promise that I will not take it personal…. Baby…
If you're moving on with someone new"
The raven hair woman shook her head with thoughts of a particular blonde. Piper. Chapman.
The girl who broke her heart. The only girl that Alex ever cared for.
"Why?" Alex thought to herself. "Why do I still care? Jesus fucking Christ Vause, get it together." She shook her head to try and shake out the thoughts.
Traffic had finally cleared enough for Alex to exit the highway and make her way to her closest grocery store. It was one of Alex's least favorite chores but with her new-found freedom, the tall woman gave up adventure and illegal career for a normal life. Grocery shopping included.
"Cause baby you look happier, you do…
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too…
Until then I'll smile and hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you"
Alex pulled into the parking lot and exited her car as quickly as she could, partially to escape the song reminding her of Piper and partially to get her monotonous chore over with. She grabbed a metal shopping cart and headed in the air-conditioned store. Her eyes scanned the store quickly, a habit she can seem to break. Always searching for a familiar face. It had been 3 years since she had last seen Piper and most days she could go without thinking of the blonde haired blue eyed beauty but warm summer days made it hard. She enjoyed those the most with Piper and after thinking about her for only a few minutes she ached to see her just one more time.
Alex had no idea where she was living, what she was doing for a career or anything in between. She had cut off contact 3 years ago and has never looked back.
Alex started off toward the fruits and vegetables as they were first in the store. Her ears adjusted to the light tune of a familiar song. A few moments later she groaned realizing she wasn't able to escape it from her car.
"Everything's reminding me of you…
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier… aren't you?"
Alex picked up a bunch of slightly green and yellow banana's and moved on without much thought.
She continues picking up a variety of fresh fruits and vegetables as she focuses on the lyrics. They hit closer to home than she'd like to admit.
"Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you…
But ain't nobody need you like I do…
I know there are others that deserve you
But my darling I am still in love with you…"
Alex grimaces and pushes on through the store with a little more aggression than before. She keeps her head slightly sunken down and her eyes focused on the groceries in her cart. She unwillingly keeps listening and digesting every word of the song, making her heart ache more and more.
She gives a slight shove to the cart at the last line of the song, scoffing as if the song were personally being played to torture her. She doesn't even see the oncoming line of other shoppers as she collides carts with another woman.
Her eyes jolt open and her heart beat races from being startled and her mouth gapes open to immediately apologize for not paying attention. Her words get caught in her throat as she processes the tall, blonde pushing the opposing cart. Their eyes lock and Alex's brows furrow for a half a second before shooting up toward the ceiling in surprise.
"Baby you look happier you do..
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new…
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do..
Just know I'll be waiting here for you…."
The song ends while their silence continues and neither of them have yet to speak.
"Alex…" Piper's words come out in a near whisper. Alex's guard drops as if it were shot down by a gun. One word from Piper and she's done for. All of her anger, frustration and impatience melts.
"Piper?" Alex replies. It comes out as question, as if she isn't sure the tanned, beautiful woman in front of her is real.
"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention… an 'all organic' sticker caught my eye and I didn't see you coming'. Piper's words tumble out quickly.
"Oh no, its okay, I wasn't watching where I was going either.." Alex drifts off, taking in the beauty before her. It had been far too long since she as seen Piper in person. She kept old pictures but they weren't the same. They didn't make the cute faces or the innocent looks Piper made. They weren't moving, they weren't warm and they lacked her clumsiness. Alex stared for what felt like hours. Nothing else mattered. She felt whole. She didn't ache, she didn't long. She felt comforted with slight nervousness of what would come next.
"Uhh, I guess I should get going, my boyfriend is waiting in the car.." Piper's eyes lowered and her brows pulled together, clearly saddened at the thought.
"Oh" Alex breathed in the same tone. She took in a quick deep breath, regaining composure of her face. " Sure, sure… Uh, it was… nice.. seeing you Pipes" Alex forced a small smile as she felt the ache return. She scratched her head lightly and diverted her eyes to the floor, trying to remain emotionless. Alex didn't want to leave. The place she dreaded going all week was now the one place she didn't want to leave. She would live there if that meant she would see Piper again.
Piper started passing by, she went slowly, taking in all of Alex as if it were the last time she would see her again. She grazed Alex's arm with her hand as she was nearly past. "It was nice seeing you too Al…" She whispered genuinely, making Alex's heart soar. Piper couldn't continue. She didn't know what she would say. "Lets get together sometime? How have you been? Are you still importing drugs? Are you with anyone?" She opted to keep moving, trying to remember Larry was in the car. She sighed heavily as the Raven haired woman was finally out of her peripheral view.
Alex craned her neck around to watch Piper leave. She wanted to yell "Wait Piper, come back.. there's so much I want to say to you" but she couldn't find the words, or the courage. Piper's hand felt warm, soft… like home but the second she touched her, Alex's inside's felt electrified, she felt every nerve, every hair.. she hadn't felt so alive in… years.
Piper reached the end of the isle before glancing behind her with a polite, small smile.
Alex remained motionless, like a statue that had been erected in the middle of the dairy isle. If it had not been for her chest rising up and down, one might have though she really was a statue.
Piper kept moving, knowing if she stopped she might have ran back Alex and forced herself into her long pale arms.
She longed for Alex's touch. Larry could never replace the feeling that Alex gave her. Effortlessly, with every touch, Alex pleased her, comforted her and excited her... All at the same time. Larry was more like a brotherly touch, family type love. She stayed with him to please her parents but she never cared for him the way she cared for Alex. He was just a distraction.
Alex finally found herself in her thoughts and figured out how to move again. Her mind was racing when she entered the store and now she couldn't find a single thought other than how to move her legs underneath her. She forgot everything she came for and wandered the isles aimlessly, replaying every moment from the encounter with Piper. Every isle she turned into, she searched again for Piper. Each time, her heart rose and sank as she didn't find her. She gave up and went to the check out. Alex fidgeted in her pocket to fish out her wallet and pay the bill, still not listening to the words coming from the cashier or the buzz of shoppers and beeps of the registers next to her. She paid, took the receipt, scanned the store again and headed out with an aching heart.
She loaded her groceries slowly into her trunk, feeling more lost than she had been in a long time. She returned the metal cart to the corral and when she returned to her car she found a small slip of paper under her windshield. She pulled it out gently and read the 7 digit phone number written sloppily in a familiar font. She smiled, looked around but didn't see the blonde. Piper watched from her rearview mirror as they pulled away and smiled to herself as Larry droned on about how long she took. Alex settled into her car and entered the phone number into her iphone.
She hesitated but sent a text to the number.
"Is this a bad time to say hi? - A