Disclaimer: Don't own Sam, Dean and Bobby. They belong to the Wonderful World of Eric Kripke and everyone that falls under him. I'm just playing around.
A.N: Happy Supernatural Friday again! Tonight is the 4th episode! Although last episode wasn't hyper like the first two, I enjoyed it. I really believe that it's a tie-over to tonight's episode. (Besides, we don't want an entire season of hyper-ness, might die from the heart attack, you know? Lol) So this is kinda my shot at tying the two episode tonight, in a way.
We all know that Sam and Dean will get through this little glitch, but it's the how that will kill ya to find out. lol Needless to say brother conversations and all that goodness that goes with it. (I believe it is Osiris that is judging Dean, but since I only read the synopsis of the show and not spoilers, forgive me if it's someone else and I forgot. Also, saw one photo so if you've seen the photo you'll see the reference.)
Summary: A sorta tag to 7.03: TGND. It's kinda of spin on what part of 7.04 DYL could be like. It's AU of course but maybe we'll see something similar.
Osiris smirked down at the Winchesters, his eyes coming to rest on Sam who was patiently awaiting for him to speak. His smirked widen, "Sam Winchester. You know, I fail to see why you are defending your brother."
"You don't have to understand it. Can we continue now?" Sam sat up straighter in his seat, lifting his chin in defiance.
"We know some of the things your brother has been keeping from you from your time here but did he tell you...?" Osiris trailed off teasingly.
Sam said nothing. Dean sitting next to him, tied to his seat with chain around him glared at the Egyptian god. He wasn't allowed to say anything unless it was to directly defend himself.
He found that out the hard way.
Osiris continued, "The next order of business, and dare I say, the most fun, is the secret that your brother has kept from you." He paused for effect before going on, "Did you know your brother killed Amy?"
Sam blinked at Osiris and Dean found his eyes sliding away from the Egyptian god to look over to the side away from Sam.
"I'm….sorry?" Sam stumbled on his words.
The Egyptian god on the throne only repeated himself very patiently.
"I…I….um….." Sam finally managed to swing his gaze to his brother next to him, who was still looking away. His eyes widen as he realized that Dean had indeed.
"Please speak upon these new developments, Dean", Osiris commanded.
"…." Dean said nothing but twitched his head.
"You said that….uh….that you trusted me. I-I-I thought that…." Sam stopped and looked down at the table his hands were folded on blankly.
"Sam, if you wish not to defend your brother anymore. I will understand. It's only natural to feel betrayed by this", Osiris spoke smoothly.
"I do trust you", Dean spoke glaring at Osiris briefly before looking at Sam.
Osiris raised an eyebrow, "Then why did you kill Amy behind your brother's back. I know you feel guilty about that."
"I only feel guilty for keeping it from Sam, not killing her." Dean snapped.
"I'm sure you do."
"Look, let's get back on track here. I'm Dean's lawyer….." Sam broke in momentarily setting aside his hurt to deal with later. He would get his brother out of this.
He swore it to himself.
Then he'd deal with this new development.
"Ahh, I was worried about you boys!" Bobby cried as he watched the two brothers trudge out of the building. He noticed that there was an invisible distance between them and frowned, "What went wrong?"
"Nothing, we are both okay." Sam stated absently and Dean nodded.
"Nothing, my #^$#$" , cried Bobby then asserted more forcefully, "What is the problem?" He would not let this rest. They had a lot to deal with and a fallout between them wasn't going to be on the list as long as he was around.
Dean's response was to cursed Osiris out.
"Wonderful", Bobby stated wryly, "But I'm going to ask one final time then I'm gonna beat it out of the two of you: What is wrong?"
"Dean killed Amy behind my back!" Sam snapped, "He lied to me!" He glared at Dean.
Dean shifted, "I said I was sorry."
"No, you said you were sorry for going behind my back not for killing Amy."
"And that is true!" Dean turned to face his brother who did the same.
"Boys…." Bobby tried to calm down the volcano that was threatening to erupt.
"How could you?" Sam cried, "You stood there and said you trusted me. You said you'd let it go!"
"Heck no! I said I trusted you but I never said I'd let it go." defended Dean.
"I guess it's my fault", Sam murmured, "I knew then you seemed to give in too easily, but I was willing to believed what you said at face value. I guess I shouldn't have."
"Sam….."
"What's the point if you don't trust me?" Sam yelled again.
"I didn't say I don't trust you. I do! I just don't trust anyone else…but Bobby of course."
"Of course! You are so stupid, Dean! How could you? I promise to let her go and you just destroyed that!"
"You promised, not me! That has nothing to do with me!"
"Boys…." Bobby tried again.
Sam blundered on, his voice getting louder and louder until he was screaming the last couple of sentences, "Well, you know what. It's very clear how little you trust me! You've been eyeing me like I'm gonna break, not giving me any room to breathe. I've been keeping it together, cause what other choice do I have? But if you don't even believe in me and trust that I can get through this, that I can at the very least deal with this, then why the heck am I trying? I should just break now and give you something to really worried about!"
"BOYS!" Bobby finally worried accompanied with Dean's panicked, "SAM!"
Sam breathed heavily and looked at Bobby as well as Dean a few seconds later.
"What?" they both managed to chorus and glanced at each other.
"I don't want to hear you talk like this Sam!" said Bobby, "You are a fighter…."
"Save it! Save it, Bobby", Sam interrupted making Bobby look at him like he wanted to hit him but he continued, "If my own brother…" here he spat it at Dean, "...doesn't even care enough to give me the benefit of the doubt and help me by actually caring and believing, then anything and everything else doesn't amount to jack."
Here Sam turned to stalk off. "Sam…" Dean muttered forlornly trying to grab his brother's arm who snatched away from him afraid of how Sam was talking.
"I'm riding with Bobby", he hissed.
"Sam, wait a moment!" Dean grabbed Sam with both of his hands.
"Wait nothing! Get off me Dean! You made it clear. I'll talk to Lucifer or something since you don't care!"
"I do care! You are blowing this out of proportion! Please Sam!"
"Please nothing! Get off me before I sock you, Dean!" Sam tried to twist away from Dean.
"Sam..." Dean grabbed Sam.
And Sam true to his word, had Dean nursing his head before he marched down to Bobby's car. He snatched the door open and clamored in, slamming the door behind him.
Dean stared at his brother a few moments, holding the back of his head, before turning to Bobby who was glaring at him.
"What?" he snapped but it came out a bit wobbly. He swallowed trying to slow his heartbeat as fear for his brother starting to over taken him. He glanced over at Sam.
"Don't what me, boy. You deserved that! Both of you are powder kegs right now, and since Sam has to cool off, I suggest you tell me what happened. In detail", Bobby punctuated by leaning on the Impala.
"I should try to talk to Sam again", Dean darted around the command.
Bobby grabbed Dean's arm, "No. Sam needs to calm down and obviously he doesn't want to talk. Don't be an idjit, boy. You have pushed him away and now he's doing the same. Right now, you need to tell me the heck's going on!"
Dean swallowed again, "You heard what Sam said!"
"I'm not deaf, Dean. I heard him and right now he's blowing off steam. He'll be fine for the five minutes you tell me what's going on. I'm not repeating this another time. Next time I'm gonna hit you."
Dean rubbed his head again. Sam didn't hit him hard. Rather it more a slap upside the head and it was more to startle him. Didn't hit him nearly as hard as he hit Sam the other week. Not even close. He glanced at his little brother before he ran a hand over his face. He couldn't help his voice cracking as he started with the arriving at the hotel the other week, to the trial and all that went down there. When he was done there was a brief moment of silence.
"I messed up", Dean finally murmured which came out this shade of a whining moan.
"Again." Bobby added snapping, "And messed up is an understatement", he sighed and calmed his voice down a little bit, "Look, I understand doing what you had to do. I understand killing Amy, believe me. And I think Sam understands that, but what we don't understand is why you went about doing it as you did. You went behind your brother's back after you told him you trusted him."
"I do trust him!" Dean reiterated firmly.
"I know that! You sometimes have a funny way of showing it but I know that! It's Sam you have to convince. He's having a difficult time right now and he needs you to back him up explicitly. How else did you expect him to react to this? He thinks you don't trust him and don't care from your actions alone. You know how Sam can take something and run with it. Don't give him something to run with. You just handed this to him on a silver platter!"
"That is ridiculous! Sam is my brother…."
"Then act like it boy!" Bobby slapped Dean upside the head, making Dean briefly think it's beat on him day.
Bobby grabbed him by the collar, "I know you were and still are hurt by what Castiel did, but don't let no one, not even me, cause a rift between you and your brother. You have both been to hell and back, defeated the apocalypse and got through all the crap that was swinging your way so far. If you ever go down, you sure as heck better go down fighting. And I don't see you fighting, Dean. Sam is fighting harder than ever and you just checked out! Be there for your brother! This is not the time to check out on him. He needs you more than ever, so start acting like you are suppose to, otherwise I will have a field day with your skinny behind, got it!"
At this Bobby pushed a stunned Dean back who was looking at his wide-eyed, blinking owlishly. Bobby pushed his cap back and scratched his head before re situating the cap. He glared at Dean, "Don't be stupid, Dean. You've got another chance."
Dean nodded and glanced at Sam who was somehow folded down in the seat. He sniffed and looked at the ground like a small boy. "I didn't mean it that way. I didn't mean any of it that way. I never meant any of it that way! Ever." He looked up at Bobby imploring him to believe him.
"I'm not the one you've got to convinced. Now let me get your brother out here…." Bobby proceeded to walk to his car.
"Good luck", the eldest Winchester murmured.
"I don't need it", Bobby growled back. He walked to the passenger door and pulled it open. "Out Sam."
"I'm good." Sam muttered darkly.
"You were under the impression that was a request. It is not. Get out."
Sam glared moodily at Bobby, "I'll ride in the back seat then."
"No, you'll ride shotgun in the Impala or not at all. Out, Sam."
Sam managed to pull a 13 year old mood and sink down crossing his arms and looking away stubbornly.
Bobby threatened softly, "You know I'll drag you out if I have too." Sam looked at him as he added, "Don't test me boy, I'm not in the mood. Between you and your brother, you've got my blood pressure up. Get out Sam!"
So with that Sam slowly got out of the car and followed behind Bobby with his hands shoved in his pockets and glaring at the ground. Dean looked worried at Sam and a little awkward.
"Great!" Bobby chirped with false cheer, "Now you boys will straighten this out. I don't expect to see you back at the hotel and until you straighten this out. If I do, I will throw you back out, believe me. So don't care what you do, how you do, as long as murder isn't involved, but straighten this crap out. Listen to me both of you….."
Both boys couldn't help but straighten slightly at the older man's tone and listen.
Bobby continued, "You both have been through a lot. I get it. There will be ups and downs. It's only natural, but the moment you let the crap beat the two of you down is the moment you lose. And I'm not about to let it happen. I'm sure the two of you would get it together on your own sooner or later but I'm not waiting around for it. We're getting this taken care of today. The two of you need to have each other's back and you can't do it if you are fighting. Take care of this. I'm gone."
Bobby then turned and walked over to the car. The boys watched as he opened the door and called to them, "The two of you always gotta make me play Dr. Phil and right now we have bigger things to worry about. Get this taken care of, and get back on some reasonable page. Like I said, if I see you before you get it taken care of it, I will throw you back out."
With that he ducked into the car and turned it on grumbling about idjits Winchesters and their bloody habits of avoidance. He pulled out and into the streets. Both Winchesters watched as he speed down the road and both swear they heard a 'Fix it!' thrown from the disappearing car.
There was a brief silence before Dean gave an awkward chuckle, "That's Bobby for you, huh?"
Sam glared at him not amused, "Whatever." He pushed Dean out the way and ducked into the Impala.
Dean sighed before, rubbing his head a final time and slowly walking around and getting into the driver's seat. He didn't start the car right away, "Since Bobby practically threw us out, where you wanna go for now."
"I don't give crap", Sam snapped.
Dean glanced at Sam knowing he deserved the attitude. With a small sigh and a wonder of how he is going to fix it this time, he started the car and pulled onto the road. They had been in the car for a tensed fifteen minutes of silence.
Not fun.
Dean glanced at Sam who still looked hacked off, before clearing his throat. He opened his mouth to say something but Sam beat him too it, "Don't bother, Dean. You've said enough and it's very clear how you feel. Don't waste your time and breathe and more importantly mine."
"Sam, please…."
"No."
Dean sighed, "How are we supposed to fix this if you won't let me talk?"
"Not my freaking problem."
Silence for another ten followed before Dean tried again, "Sam…."
"If you don't even trust me enough to fight this, why the heck are we having this conversation!" Sam snapped but hurt was clearly in his voice.
"I didn't mean it like that", Dean said weakly.
"Oh sure", laughed Sam darkly, "You meant it in a peaches and cream way. Why are we talking? Shut up, Dean!" He looked out the window.
Dean just nodded absently, blinking his eyes rapidly. He sniffed quietly. "I'm sorry, Sam. I don't know what else to offer you but an I'm sorry. I never meant it this way.", he murmured quietly and received no answer.
Not that he expect to.
They drove around for the longest time, not saying much. Evening had disappeared and night had fallen and the two were no closer than they had been when they started out earlier. Neither found they were hungry and since they weren't allowed back at their hotel with Bobby they had to wander around.
Dean drove by a park and thought it might be nice to not waste gas. He pulled into a space and cut the engine. Sam looked around impassively. They sat like awhile before Dean spoke quietly, "I'm…gonna go…..sit out there…"
Sam grunted.
Dean looked at him and opened his mouth but thought better of it before pausing and getting out. Sam watched Dean's back disappear as he found a bench and sat on. The more Sam looked at him and more dejected his brother's form took.
"Like I care. He deserved it", Sam mumbled to himself trying to feel justified in not talking to his brother. But the more he sat there, the harder it was to hold onto his anger. Bobby did have a point there was too much going on to be angry at each other. Not that he'd admit. But if he did admit it, even to himself, he'd admit he is more hurt than angry.
What was the point in even trying if those closest to him didn't believe in him?
Why should he?
He reached up and rubbed his temple.
"Why indeed?" came a familiar and not welcome voice.
Sam only groaned and rolled his eyes and tried to sink into himself and the seat, "Please go away!"
"Oh, come on Sam! I'm just agreeing with your thoughts." Lucifer chirped from the backseat.
"I hate you!" Sam hissed.
Lucifer leaned forward, "Sam. It's a very good question. Let us explore this more!"
Sam glanced over his shoulder at the devil, "How about if I explore it, if I feel like it and you go back to hell were you belong and where you are?"
"Only way that would happen is if you go back." Lucifer responded sweetly.
Sam gave an aggravated sigh before opening the door.
"Come on, Sam! Like this will make a bit of difference!"
Sam response was to slam the door in Lucifer's face.
Dean heard the door open but didn't turn around although he was looking out the corner of his eye. He watched Sam stalk over to the swings and sit down, looking down at the ground as he pushed himself around a little. For all the world, he looked like a teenager. Dean wanted to go over there, but he didn't know if he was wanted, so he painfully stayed where he was, watching his little brother covertly.
Sam plopped down on the swing, not looking at his brother across the park. Anyway, before he was interrupted by the devil himself, here he looked around suspiciously, before going back to his thoughts.
He wasn't angry. Not really.
Unless he was angry with himself for taking what his brother said at face value. Looking back over it, he wasn't particularly surprised that Dean did what he did.
Hindsight is always 20/20.
He was hurt at the implications of Dean's actions. What did it say about him? If Dean didn't even believe in him, then why pray tell was he fighting?
(Thankfully, Lucifer has left his thoughts alone at this point in time, which Sam was grateful. It is hard enough to figure this out without a commentator.)
Sam sniffed as that thought seemed to swirl in his brain, drowning him. He couldn't help but reach a hand to his temple and rub at it vigorously.
What was the point?
There didn't seem any.
He wanted to fight but he need to have someone backing him and that someone was Dean. If he didn't have Dean, he didn't have anything. He knocked his hand against his head.
"Don't, Sam", came a soft voice as a hand gently pulled his wrist away.
Sam sniffed and looked up at Dean.
Dean had been watching Sam, without being obvious about it, for the last twenty minutes. It wasn't until he started rubbing his head, that Dean had enough. He didn't care if Sam didn't want him around at the moment, he was not leaving his brother to his dark thoughts. Dean could see it from where he sat the thoughts that were probably seeping into his brother's brain. He got there when Sam started hitting his head and stopped him. When his little brother looked up at him, he looked lost.
And it tore at Dean.
They stayed that way a few seconds before Dean slowly released Sam's wrist. Sam looked back down at the ground, his hands on the chain of the swings. Dean slowly sat next to him, twisting in it to face Sam. He didn't know what to say but thankfully, Sam beat it to him.
"I didn't mean to upset you, Dean. I'm sorry for hitting you. That was out of line."
Dean cut him off, "Don't. If anyone should be apologizing it's me. And I have done worse to you. It's fine. Besides you slapped me upside the head not hit me. Different things."
"Dean, please let me say this before I lose my nerve."
Dean said nothing but waited for his brother to speak.
"And it doesn't excuse the fact that I striked you, Dean."
"Well, for what's it's worth I'm sorry I hit you the other week."
Sam gave a small smile before he sighed and stated slowly, "I don't normally say this point blank like this but I'm going to this time."
Dean couldn't help but become tense behind those words.
"I need you, okay. I need you to back me up. I need to know that when I wake up in the morning, you have my back. I need to know that I'm fighting for something." Here Sam paused and bit his lip once. He threw a glance at Dean who was staring at him intently listening, "If…if….you…..don't…." Here Sam started shifting in the swing and unconsciously his knee started bouncing up and down.
Dean took pity on him and focused his attention on the ground somewhere in his field of vision though he was listening closely to his little brother.
Sam swallowed and tried again, his voice cracking, "If you….don't even trust me…..enough to fight, why am I fighting? If you don't believe in me to any great degree, then why am I bothering? I understand your worry and you have a right to be worried. Heck, I'd be worried as well, but shutting me out right now, is not gonna go well."
And speak of the devil (literally…) "You are a lost cause, Sam. Let it go. Why are we having this conversation?"
"SHUT UP!" Sam yelled looking next to him, where Lucifer was leaning on the poles of the swing, looking at his nails.
He shrugged, "I'm just saying, Sam."
"Well, I need you to shut up. I'm trying to have a conversation with my brother, if you don't mind, thank you!" he snapped darkly, "Trying to salve a situation here..."
Meanwhile, when Sam all of a sudden yelled, it made Dean jump in his swing and look at him eyes wide. He realized then he was having a conversation with someone he really didn't want him to have a conversation with. Although it wasn't completely cold that night, he felt he was thrown in Antarctica.
"Sam?" Dean's voice was hoarse when he found it. He didn't really want to compete with a hallucination again.
Sam looked at Dean, the wildness in his eyes receding, "Sorry, Dean."
Dean's jerked his chin in the general direction, "When it start again?"
"In the car. He was annoying me. I need some peace to think." Sam gave a small lopsided grin before it fell and took on that lost expression. He looked back at his lap.
Because of Lucifer's untimely interruption it took Dean few extra moments to get back on the program of things. "Sam…." He reached out a hand and touched his brother's arm.
"Hm?"
"I do trust you. I do. I just don't trust anyone else…..except for Bobby." He pulled his hand back, holding the chain of the swing.
"I get that."
"No. No. No, you don't. Amy was killing people. She had killed a number of times. She as a monster, I couldn't on good conscience let it go. I'm not like you, remember? You can find good, even in a monster. I can't. Sometimes I wish I could for your sake, but I can't."
Sam gave a hollowed laugh, "Monster is relative, Dean. Some would say, I'm a monster."
"You are not a monster!" Dean stated vehemently. "You aren't. You are a human that has been handed a pile of crap so large it's amazing you've managed to come this far. Both of us, actually."
Sam just shrugged, "I've killed before."
"In self defense, for a good cause. Take your pick. You haven't willing killed anyone that wasn't in self defense, a monster or demon or for a good cause."
"Amy didn't want to kill either but look at her."
"But killing like she did was in her bloodstream."
"For her kid, Dean. She killed because her kid was dying.", Sam's head popped up and he looked wide-eyed at his older brother. Not really wanting to know, he tentatively asked, "Did you kill the kid too?"
Dean's head rocked on his shoulders, "I thought about it…..but that was going too far, even for me. He hadn't killed yet. But he said, he'll come back for me." Here he gave a lopsided smirk, "Got a hit on me already. How nice."
Sam breathed a sigh, lowering his gaze, "I'm…surprised you didn't.….I think."
"I'm not completely heartless as you like to think Sam", Dean spoke dryly.
Sam looked at Dean earnestly, "You aren't heartless at all. You just have stupid moments sometimes."
"As do you." Dean smirked.
Sam's mouth twitched a smirk before he looked back down at the ground, "It is kinda hopeless, huh?" He reached up and rubbed his eyes.
"No, no, no!" Dean shook his head and said so forcefully, Sam couldn't help but look back at him, "It is not hopeless. Not while we are still alive and kicking. I mean look at what we been through. We never thought we'd get this far. I'm sure in a few months we'll think we never thought we'd get that far and so on..." Here he paused and Sam cocked his head awaiting him to go on.
Dean gave a brief chuckle, "I should look at our track record. I should have realized that we beat so many odds, whose to say we won't beat this? I should have looked at the good, instead of focusing on the bad all the time. Focusing on never getting a break." Here he looked up at Sam, holding his gaze, "I'm sorry. I never meant for this Amy thing to spin out of control as it did. I didn't mean to say something in doing it that I wasn't saying to your face or whatever."
Both looked a little confused at that last statement but since both knew what Dean was trying to verbalize they let it go.
Dean continued, "I do have your back, just like I know you have mine. I don't want you to give up, not even on my account. I want you to fight. I'm worried and I always will be but we just gotta push on like we do. Go down fighting like always."
"We've been down, but not permanently, that's gotta say something", Sam spoke optimistically.
Dean grinned, "Yea, you are right. Definitely."
Sam nodded and looked away.
"How cute!" Lucifer hissed, "Makes me wanna throw up."
Sam said nothing but glanced at Lucifer.
Unfortunately, Dean caught it, "He still here?"
Sam nodded, "Yeah."
"But you know I'm here, right?" Dean reached out again and placed his hand on Sam's arm, "Hey, I'm here too."
Sam looked at Dean so long, Dean was staring to get worried. He shook him, "Sam?"
"I'm fine, Dean. I haven't checked out." Sam looked away briefly before looking back at Dean with a small smile.
But Dean still wasn't feeling his heart unclench so he said, "I'm here. I told you to trust me and make that stone number one and build on it, but I guess I didn't realized that I had to return the favor. Look, I'm not saying that we'll agree all the time or we'll both not have stupid moments, like taking the Impala without my permission…."
Here Sam looked sheepish, as he rubbed his jaw absently.
Dean chuckled, "But the old man is right. We can't stay mad at each other. Been there, done that, it doesn't work."
"I know.", Sam agreed remembering a darker time in their lives.
Dean nodded, "So we'll just start from ground zero and keep working our way to the top. It's all we can do."
Sam nodded, "Yeah. It is."
Dean let his hand fall away as he looked at the ground, turning his swing back the proper way. He still didn't feel a hundred percent secure but he felt better. Sam felt the same way.
"We'll be okay", Sam stated though Dean heard the questioning uncertainty behind it.
Dean knew that he had shaken Sam's faith in having his back. He hated that he did that, one of a thousands things he loathe himself for, but he would fix it like he did everything else.
Dean looked up with his trademark grin, "Of course, we'll be okay, Sammy. When we ever not?"
Sam stared at him a long moment ascertaining the truth behind his brother's words before slowly a grin appeared on his face, "Yeah."
There was a lightness that hadn't been between them for the last while before Sam slowly started pumping the swing. "Think you can still swing, or are you too old to remember?" he taunted.
"Oh, heck, no. I'll show you old!" Dean grumbled good-naturedly as he began to swing his own swing.
Sam laughed and when he was high enough he jumped off landing perfectly. Like a child he pumped his fist in the air and made the peace sign. He watched Dean jumped off and land just as perfectly. Dean straightened and gave him a smug look returning his peace sign. "Like I said, anything you can do, I can do."
"Sure Dean." laughed Sam, "Now how about we turn in now? I don't think Bobby would throw us out, in one look at us now."
Dean turned and asked seriously looking at his brother, "You think?"
Sam turned and looked at Dean, "We are getting there."
"Think we'll get there?" Dean pressed selfishly needing some kind of reassurance.
"Dean…I know you didn't mean it the way you did when you did it in the first place."
"Strangely I followed that."
"And I know that in your own way you were just looking out of me. I get that. I do. I know it's stupid. That I'm being stupid." Here Sam couldn't help but stuff his hands in his pocket and kick a pebble.
Dean reached out to get Sam's attention back, "It's not stupid and you're not being stupid…..what is it?"
Sam took a deep breath and slowly let it out, "It's just…..like I said…I just need to know without a doubt, you're here. I mean between Lucifer and…" he paused, "Well, just Lucifer and hell really, I just need to know that…you're here. You know? That' all. If I'm to discern reality from fantasy I need to know what reality is. If it moves around so much I gotta figure out what it is, it starts to blur into fantasy and then I don't know what is reality." Sam gave a long-suffering sigh, "I know it sounds stupid and bad and I know it's clingy almost and….."
"Sam…." Dean's voice was so firm that it made said male stop and look up. Dean continued, "It's not clingy or stupid or bad. Whatever you need to get through this, tell me. Ask. I know this is a different ball-game and the rules naturally would change. I understand that. And I want you to know that I do understand that. I may make quips and jokes and all that, but don't let that deter you from coming to me."
"I'd be worried if you don't make your usual quips and jokes." Sam spoke honestly.
"Right, so tell me. I don't want you to give up thinking that I don't care, so why bother. If I'm doing something wrong or you can't figure out, then tell me. I can't promise that I'll always agree or get what you're having a problem with right away, but I'll get it sooner or later. I generally don't repeat my mistakes, eh? I just can't…" Dean trailed off looking faraway.
Sam looked at his brother who seemed to be struggling with his words, "What Dean?" he questioned softly.
There was a moment of pause before he got a response.
"I can't lose you, okay?" Dean looked up at Sam, wanting him to know how serious he was, "Especially not when it's something I could have clearly helped with. You know, the moment I lose you I'm going round one with a bullet. You know that."
Sam nodded.
"So please don't make me lose you from something I did. If I'm acting like a bone-head, call me out on it. Just like I would you."
"Or just like Bobby apparently has to do from time to time." Sam injected with a grin.
Both shared a laugh at this.
"We should send him a gift basket just for putting up with us", Dean snickered.
Sam gave a chuckle, "Yeah, we should."
Silence followed a few moment, pretty comfortable.
"Devil riding shotgun?" Dean asked after another moment.
Sam blinked at him having to catch up, "Oh, no! No. I guess our talk was too sickening for him." He waved it away.
"Whatever works", Dean bobbed his head.
"Yeah, whatever works", Sam agreed.
Dean slapped Sam's chest, "So, how about we get rolling? That is…if we good." His voice ended on a uncertain note at he looked at Sam.
Sam gave a reassuring smile, "Yeah, we good. Let's go, may as well face the scrutiny, that is Bobby."
Dean gave a shudder, "Yeah, I can feel the chills."
With a laugh they piled into the Impala and Dean pulled out.
Sure they had things to work on but who doesn't?
FIN.
A.N: I know Sam started out snappish and angry and Dean was more subdued, but for some reason it turned out like that. (Do we really blame them?) Personally I thought Bobby rocked here!
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
Perhaps after tonight's episode I'll have tag fanfics to that. =D