She entered the condo and, as usually, deposited her keys in her purse and the purse on the coat rack. She took a deep breath and proceeded to take a seat on her couch. As she reached for a pillow to pull close to her chest she let the breath go.
I'm doing this, she told herself reassuringly, letting her head lean on the back of the couch. She let a small smile cross her face as she thought about the way his face lit up when she told him they were doing this. She could burst out in giggles thinking about the way his brows shot up in surprise when she continued with a however. He was used to her howevers, yet they always manage to catch him off guard. He recovered quickly though, she thought.
He smiled, leaned back into his chair, folded his hands on top of the table and simply said, "Okay, let's hear it then." She was well aware of being demanding or difficult but, by now, she was confident in the knowledge that he would never take it the wrong way. And he didn't. There was no annoyance in his voice or stance. Only patience. He would hear her out. And he did.
It wasn't so much the moving in that had her on edge, but the matter-of-fact manner in which he was going into it. Eager as always, she felt he was jumping first, and thinking later. Okay, maybe moving in itself had her on edge, too. Well, not on edge per se. It simply brought about an unwelcome feeling of uncertainty. Not of her commitment to Andy. Of that she was absolutely certain. No. She knew where those feelings came from.
Jack.
That's where her howevers came from, too. She needed to fully flesh out what moving in would mean for the both of them. Logistically, financially and emotionally. The last time, she didn't and it didn't end so well either.
He would put his house on sale. Their dinner has come to that conclusion in spite of, or maybe even because of her howevers. They would fully work out her other points later. It had been a long day at work, they could work it all out when they were less exhausted and more alert. It wasn't the place for that discussion either for they had agreed to lay out their respective financial circumstances and discuss those first. They hadn't really touched upon that subject thus far in their relationship. Moving in together meant that they should. And they would. For now they agreed that before selling his house they should agree on a budget. They should also come up with a contingency plan should his house be sold prior to having found a house they both liked. It was a given for her to have him move in with her in that case. But she made it clear they would discuss that as well.
Rusty.
Of course, he factored into her decision, too. A bigger smile graced her face as she remembered Andy's reaction to the mere mention of him.
"Sharon, where you go, he goes," he told her as he put a hand over her fidgeting one across the table. "Or well," he paused, stumbling over his words now, "you'll have to talk to him, and erm, see if he even wants to-, which I hope he does, but you know, if he doesn't and well, you-"
"Yes, I'll talk to him," she cut off his rambling, placing her other hand over his. "For now, we're probably a packaged deal," she shrugged, "but I will have to talk to him."
"I know, don't worry about it," he told her.
Emily and Ricky weren't on her mind that much in this regard, but Andy's daughter was. She agreed with his reasoning for buying a place in Silver Lake, but they would more thoroughly tackle that part later, too.
Initially, she worried he would go along with whatever she suggested just to have his wish granted. He tended to put her needs ahead of his, and, while appreciated, she didn't want him to feel it was necessary in order to keep her.
Keep her. She scoffed at the image that brought about. But keep her he would, she was more than happy with that arrangement. But when she pointed out that particular worry, he put her mind at ease almost immediately. "Listen, I really would be okay with just moving closer to Nicole and work," he paused, smiling, "and you. And yes, I do feel moving in together is a reasonable step for us now as well. But trust me, I understand that these are also things we should discuss if moving in together is an option at all." He waited a beat, to see if she had anything to interject, she didn't, so he continued. "And I am in no way agreeing to everything you want. I fully intend to pick the key chain on our new house keys, for all of us, whether you like it or not." It got the desired effect and elicited a chuckle from her. She believed him. He only ever underlined things with humor when he felt strongly about them or was nervous. It was a little bit of both right then, she knew, and she believed him even more because of it.
We will move in together. Once they sit down to tackle the logistics of it and the financial aspects of it, they would start looking for a place for them. They will move in together. She pulled the pillow closer to her as she thought back to another bit of their conversation. One addressed by Andy. And one that made her all the more sure that she was making the right decision. It had also been the only moment of their conversation during which Andy felt slightly uncomfortable. "Do you think you can reconcile this with," he took a sip of his cranberry soda, and adjusted himself in his chair, sitting straighter, as if drawing confidence from the position, "our church?" He paused only long enough to take another breath before adding, "With your Catholicism?"
His genuine worry brought up such an array of emotions in her, that for a moment, she had only managed to offer him a choked up "Oh, Andy," before getting her emotions under control in order to put his mind at ease. While both being Catholic, they considered that part of their lives somewhat differently. To Andy, rationalizing opposing views personally and religiously had come much more easily than it ever had to her. Not that his faith was weaker than hers. She simply took the rules a bit more seriously than he did. He had originally made fun of her for that. "Rulebook Raydor in religion as well," he had teased her. "Troublemaker in faith, too," she had scolded him, a smile tugging at her lips. She knew he respected her faith, it being slightly different than his, but hearing his genuine concern in that moment had meant more to her than she would ever be able to explain in words.
The rest of their dinner passed in sharing ideas about their ideal house and her heart filled with warmth each time Andy remembered they should ask Rusty what he'd like. He wanted to include him, but wouldn't approach him though, she knew. She wasn't exactly sure how to approach the subject herself if she was perfectly honest. That Andy wouldn't and couldn't, however, wasn't a surprise. As much as things had improved between them after Andy's accident and Slider's trial, Rusty was still sometimes awkward around them. She tried to brush it off to Rusty's qualms about old people dating as he had so aptly put it, but she suspected there was more to it. Either way, her mind, and heart, were set. She would deal with Rusty when and if she had to.
As if on cue, Rusty came trudging down the hallway.
"Oh, hi," he said stopping in his tracks in front of the living room. "I thought you would be going over to Lieutenant Flynn's place?" he asked as he walked past the couch towards the kitchen.
She rolled her head over the back of the couch following his movement. "It's Thursday. He went to a meeting. And it has been a long day," she told him.
"Right," he said coming back with a glass of water to sit on the couch next to her. He threw her an inquisitive glance as she finally kicked off her heels.
"Yes?" she asked him, the glance having not gone unnoticed by her. She straightened up, flexed her feet and turned to face him, pillow still clutched in her hands.
"Is everything alright?" he asked, frowning slightly. "I know I ruined your evening the other night and I heard the Lieutenant talking about you wanting to alert your children to something?"
"Ah" she started, squeezing the pillow slightly. Well, I didn't expect to be discussing this now. she thought. "Andy and I are" she swallowed, "thinking about moving in together."
Rusty remained quiet, nodding. "We intend to move in together, actually." she clarified, glad to hear her voice remained steady.
"Oh." was all Rusty said. His face fell slightly. He no longer met her gaze. He seemed to have been caught off guard. He hadn't expected that. Was that fear that crossed his features? Or worry? she wondered. He seemed at a loss for words. He took a gulp of water.
"Rusty," Sharon started, and deciding, it probably was worry she saw, she put a hand on his shoulder facing her, "we have only decided that we want to and will move in together. We don't know when yet. Not right away at least. There's a lot of things we have to work out before we do that, but this is not your 30 day notice, okay?"
At that he looked up at her. Relief washed over his features. How that was still a fear of his was beyond her. And after the adoption at that. He nodded again and looked away again "Okay."
She let him gather his thoughts and soon enough he looked at her again. "So..." he started, but Sharon decided to interrupt him.
"Remember when we first talked about adoption?"
Confused he closed his mouth, then opened it again only to say "Yeah?"
"And how I told you we would discuss it once I have the chance to see what that really meant for us?"
"Yes," he said, still not sure where she was going with this.
"Well, I am still working on what this," she waved her hand in the air as if trying to encompass this in the gesture, "will mean. But you," she squeezed the shoulder under her hand, "will definitely be part of it. If you want to be."
At that she gave him a long look, waiting for the words to sink in.
He took a deep breath. "Okay." He took another breath. "But Lieut-, Andy, is he okay with that?" he asked hesitantly.
She smiled at him and started getting up, her hand on his shoulder sliding down his arm in the process, "I don't see why he wouldn't be." She bent over to pick up her heels. She gave him a pointed look, "But you can always ask him yourself."
And before he could respond to that she turned toward the hallway and headed for the bathroom, leaving a dumbfounded Rusty behind. She would say goodnight before turning in, of course, but for now, she felt it was a good note to end the conversation on. God only knew those two needed to talk. If a nudge or two is what it will take, then so be it.
This is my first Major Crimes story. I welcome reviews (be gentle, please!) and I think I might want to try writing a scene or two for each of the episodes. What do you say?