Sorry
Author: Jedi Knight Jaina Solo
Genre: Romance
Rating: K+ to be safe.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All Star Wars characters, locations, etc., belong to the almighty George Lucas (Bows down to Lucas). I am just playing with them.
Summary: How do you say you're sorry? Pre-ESB Han/Leia oneshot.
A/N: This is my first fanfic, so feedback is very much appreciated! I live for constructive criticism, but no flames please.
A/N 2: I know the POV for this thing is kinda weird, but this isn't like my normal writing style, so even if you hate this, please check out my other stuff once I post it, cause it'll be really different.
This story is dedicated to Marie. Thank you for introducing me to ff.n. I owe you!
How do you say you're sorry?
They'd been fighting. Again. He'd threatened to leave, made some insensitive comment, she'd insulted him or his ship, and it began. Again.
Everyone in the hangar bay'd heard them. Everyone in the base had heard about them. In the Alliance, their fights were almost legendary, the Alderaanian Ice Princess and the Corellian Pirate. Fighting, no civil words said for days.
And when all was said and done, all the insults thrown, all the yelling finished, they regretted it. Every word, every gesture, once tainted with anger, now laced with remorse.
How do you say you're sorry?
Both wanting, needing to say it, both too proud to admit it, they continue as before.
And she is afraid. Afraid that he will leave, afraid to admit that there might be something else between them, afraid to be afraid.
How do you say you're sorry?
He is angry. Not at her. He would never be angry with her, yet he would never admit it. He is angry with himself, with the Pirate for hurting her, for making her cry.
How do you say you're sorry?
For he has seen her crying, when she thinks she is alone, thinks nobody's watching.
And she hides it well, hides her tears, her fear beneath the Ice Princess, beneath a mask that nobody sees through.
And then, when she is buried so deep in the mask that she has lost herself, his anger starts to fade, buried beneath his caring, his pity that he would never show and that she would never accept, and his quickly covered admission that there might be something more between them.
How do you say you're sorry?
Slowly finding the cracks in her seemingly impenetrable facade, slowly breaking up the mask of the Ice Princess, he begins to care again. A lingering gaze here, a soft touch there, a gentle brush in the corridor.
And she sees these things from behind the mask, and the Ice Princes distains them, but she is setting aside the mask, and seeing his actions. And she is responding, a touch in the hallway, a whispered word in the corner.
And he feels her responding, and he is relieved, and he pushes the Pirate away, and becomes himself, the one who has been hidden away for so long.
And then they are together, and they don't argue, and the base hasn't heard them in months. They know how the other feels and thinks and acts, and they keep the masks up, except when they're together.
And then there are no masks, no secrets, no grudges. Because the argument is forgotten, never spoken of, never apologised for.
Because, in the end, when he is just Han and she is just Leia, the words "I'm sorry" don't really matter.
A/N 3: Sooo... Like it? Love it? Hate it? PLEASE REVIEW! Any feedback is welcome and I live for CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, but no flames please. I'm new, so any advice about formatting, ratings, how to use this site ... anything is welcome!
-luv, JJ