"I love you Wanda."
"I love you too Jared, with my whole heart."
Did I really mean it?
Everything I said to her, did I mean it?
As soon as I got Melanie back I was in a trance. All I wanted to do is be with Melanie all the time. It was as if no one was on this planet, it was just Melanie and Jared, like how it was before.
Expect, in a way it wasn't at all. I would look into her eyes and just see blue not any silver lining around the pupil. Or I would notice how sharp and mean her voice got but wasn't a couple days ago.
Or even worse, I would kiss her and would want to call out Wanda's name instead of Melanie's.
It tore me up inside, not just the guilt I felt for wanting this but having these feelings.
When I said, "I love you", to Wanda that night before she left I knew I meant it. I knew that over time I did grow to love Wanda.
It's just that I didn't think I fell in love with her.
So, did I really mean it the way I said it?
"Jared?"
I turn and look behind me dropping one of the dishes I was washing in the sink. It's Wanda. She smiles innocently at me glancing at the plate I dropped in the sink.
"Do you need some help," Wanda asks giggling slightly.
I smile at her ruffling her hair, "Sure." I move to the right making some room for her, she doesn't need that much room she's so tiny, tinier than Jamie.
She picks up a sponge and start washing the plate I dropped. We wash and dry in silence for a while.
"Where's Mel," Wanda asks handing me a plate with her small hands.
"Where's Ian," I ask back, teasing her. Wanda looks at me her black hair flipping over her shoulder. She laughs and tries to elbow me in the stomach. It feels like I'm being tickled.
"Touché Jar."
My stomach flips when she calls me Jar, Wanda is the only one who calls me that, not even Melanie has a nickname for me. I smile and feel my face crinkle, Wanda watches this and giggles. My face heats up when she puts her tiny fingertips on my crinkles.
"I've always loved when you smiled like that," Wanda says truthfully her fingertips still resting on my face. When they trail down my face I feel my body relax and drop the plate in my hand. Wanda rips her hand away and turns back toward the sink washing again.
I sigh and realize how close we were. That was too close.
"Sorry about that," I say turning back towards the sink.
"Do you ever feel confused Jared," Wanda asks not looking up from the plate she's washing her long black hair flowing over her shoulder.
"About what," I ask in a whispered voice turning her way. I can tell where this conversation is heading. I can tell she is nervous, she won't look at me. She hands me the last dish and goes to sit down against the floor on the ground. I quickly dry off the plate and sit beside her.
"I don't know. I've just been feeling so confused lately. I love Ian so much but I feel as if it's not as much love as I thought it was."
"You're having second thoughts about Ian?" It comes out more shocked than I thought it would. Instead of grief I feel hope rush through my body.
Wanda shrugs her small shoulders helplessly. "Sometimes I find myself looking at you and feeling what I used to feel when I was inside Melanie's body. It tears me up, Jared."
I feel my throat tighten and grab her hand intertwining it with mine. She puts her head on my shoulder.
"I shouldn't have feelings for you Jared. It's so wrong of me. I'm just hurting Ian and Melanie," Wanda exclaims crying on my shoulder. I wrap my arm around her, she snuggles into me just the way I knew she would.
"Shh, Wanda, it will be fine, I'm feeling the same way." I feel her stiffen against me and I trace patterns on her bare thigh trying to calm her down. It works; she presses her lips against my neck. I feel my whole body swoon towards her, I want nothing more than to press her lips to mine.
"This is a mess Jar."
"Messes can be cleaned up, Wan."
I feel her smile at her nickname. She turns her head up towards mine and searches my eyes. I search her angelic face and my eyes rest on her lips. I wait and when I see her nod her head I don't hesitate when I finally press my lips to hers.
I thought I only felt fireworks and a firey passion when I kissed Melanie's body but boy was I wrong. It was like someone lit the gasoline again and we were on fire.
Wanda automatically straddled my lap and deepened the kiss. I guess she was waiting for this just as much as I was. My hands can't control themselves at all when they get under her shirt. Wanda gasps and moans my name when I do this.
I let out a moan when Wanda slips her tongue in my mouth and licks the inside of my mouth. How we managed to breath I don't know. All I thought about was getting closer to Wanda and wondering if I could get her to take her clothes off.
But that never happened, Wanda ripped her mouth from mine and made my hands let go of her breasts. I almost whimpered when I let go of her perfect, plump, soft breasts.
When we were walking back to our rooms no one talked. I could only imagine how bad Wanda felt. I couldn't feel anything except Wanda's body against mine.
When Wanda stopped me in front of her room and placed a passionate kiss on my lips I automatically wrapped my arms around her. I thought Wanda would stop there but she trailed wet, sloppy kisses down my throat and ran into her room slamming the door. I stood there for a while before I could make my legs move.
Wanda must not feel bad at all.