Author's Note: The best trilogies always come in fours. And in answer to your question, yes. Yes I am very drunk right now.

Somewhere around 5 am the breeze coming in through Joker's window had changed from chilly to slight warmth signaling the beginning of spring. It brushed across Joker's face and woke him. Instinctively, he reached next to him to pull Harley closer but she wasn't there. Nor had she been for a month. He rolled over so he wouldn't have to see the empty spot, closed his eyes, and tried to go back to sleep. The breeze was persistent. He got to close it, but stopped when he noticed how warm it was. He smiled, pulled out his phone, and began to text.

Ivy could feel a shift in the weather. Her eyes whipped open and she ever so carefully tiptoed out of the bedroom and out onto the terrace. The air was cold but the wind was hot. She smiled. Spring was here. She walked back into the apartment and popped her head into Selina's room. Harvey could hear her muffled whispers. He knew what she was saying even if he couldn't make out the exact words. Joker had already told him.

Bruce Wayne had just crawled into bed. He was in no mood for that infernal device society insisted he own. First it was text messages (Possibly a rogue. More than likely the Tipster), then it started to ring. He hit ignore without bothering to check the caller id. After the third time around he decided the only way to get some peace and quiet was to answer the damned thing and deal with whoever it was quickly and efficiently.

"What?" he snapped.

"Brucie! You're alive. Good," Joker greeted cheerfully.

"No, not now."

"You need to get up and come to Robinson Park."

"I just crawled into bed. I need to sleep."

"Listen…"

"No! No! You listen! I need to sleep. Selina and I aren't together anymore. Why are you calling me?"

"Come to Robinson Park!"

"What in the name of everything holy is so important that I need to be up at," here he checked the alarm clock next to the bed, "6:50 in the morning?"

"Come to the park." Joker hung up.

Bruce decided his phone would serve him better across the room and threw it there. He rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. What was happening at the park? Why was Joker so excited? Was this a Batman worthy trip? It couldn't be good. He invited Bruce Wayne though, surely it wasn't anything too harmful. Was it? "Damn that clown to hell," he murmured getting out of bed.

"I made waffles!" Eddie called as Holly walked into the living room.

"I'm not hungry," she replied slipping on a pair of running shoes.

"Where are you going?" he asked watching her from the doorway.

"Selina called me and invited me to Robinson Park."

Eddie dropped the bowl of waffle batter he was holding. He threw open the living room window and stuck his head out. The air was chilled but the breeze was warm. It was time.

"I'm not cleaning that up. I'll see you in a couple hours." She poked her head out the window and kissed him out the cheek.

After she closed the door Eddie ripped his phone out of his pocket. "Jervis! It's here! Yes! Quick, get dressed and meet me at Robinson Park! What? I'll call Jonathan on the way!"

Jonathan ran through the main entrance of Robinson Park and headed for the large fountain in the center. As he got closer he could see Harvey, Joker, Jervis, Eddie, and…was that Bruce Wayne desperately clutching Harvey's shoulder trying to stand up? And who was the old guy?

"Good morning boys," he greeted taking a seat next to Jervis.

"Did I miss it?" Oswald called only a few seconds behind Johnny.

"Nope," Joker answered.

"Good."

"Who's the old guy?" Johnny whispered to Jervis.

"Oh, that's Alfred. Bruce's chauffer."

"I see."

"Why am I here?" Bruce questioned.

"You'll see," Joker told him.

"Why can't you just tell me?"

"It spoils the fun."

"I hate you."

Before Joker could tell him how little Bruce was going to hate him in a second, what they were waiting for appeared.

Ivy had her hair in a high ponytail and wore a pair of tight black capri stretch pants and an abs bearing, tight, white, t-shirt. Selina was running next to her in a pair of black yoga pants and pink wife beater tank top with her jet black hair in a messy bun. Holly had the space on Selina's left. She had her hair pulled up similar to Selina's but higher on the head and she wore little navy blue shorts and a light blue long sleeved crop top. Finally there was Harley, in her tight black workout pants that said "PINK" across the butt in leopard print writing and red sports bra with her hair in low curly pigtails.

All of them were doing a fast jog/slow run. Little beads of sweat clung to them in all the right places. No traces of makeup, not a second more than necessary spent on hair. For them it was a usual workout. A little morning jog to get their bodies awake and their brains working. For the rogue men, it was the beginning of the best season two seasons of the year. For more often than not, the girls would be running in very little and all together.

The men were all standing now, even Bruce, and clapping like they were at a concert. Except Alfred who rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the fountain. Maybe one eye strayed for a micro-second. He was a man after all.

"Woohoo!" Joker called with a whistle.

"That's what we like to see!" Harvey yelled.

"Absolutely superb!" Eddie added while Jervis howled and Johnny panted like a dog.

"Sheer perfection girls," Oswald cheered.

Bruce just smiled wide and clapped harder. "I see why you called," he whispered to Joker.

The girls stopped running and sauntered over to them.

"Every year," Ivy sighed.

"You act like you've never seen a girl run before," Selina said.

"You girls are different," Harvey explained.

Selina rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

"We just like to show our support and let you ladies know we approve of your workout routine," Oswald added eyeing Harley up and down.

Joker caught this punched him in the back. "Don't be so obvious," he reprimanded.

"I expect it from these goons but I'm surprised to see you here Bruce," Ivy chided.

"When Joker calls you at 7 in the morning you do what he says. Actually, you argue for a minute, throw your phone, try to go back to sleep, and then curiosity gets the best of you," Bruce told her.

"Can you blame us?" Jervis asked with puppy dog eyes.

"Would you like it if we sat here cat calling you as you ran by?" Harley questioned poking him in the forehead.

The boys all flexed and stuck out their chests to show off.

"Pathetic," Harley laughed. "I'm starting to get a chill. Let's get back to the run."

"We'll be here!" Joker assured her.

"We know," Ivy hissed catching up with Harley.

"Eddie, really?" Holly asked.

"Only watching you," he told her.

"Uh huh." She smiled and waited a beat for Selina who shook her head and got back to her stride.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Dick demanded. "The rogue men all gather up and watch the girls run in the park when it gets warm?"

Bruce nodded.

"No! I don't believe it!"

Bruce shrugged.

"How can they do that? I don't see Selina being the type that likes an audience while working out. I can't even see her at a gym let alone allowing the Joker to whistle at her as she runs."

"They do it. I was there. Alfred is my witness."

Dick turned his attention to the silent butler who was trying to keep busy dusting. "Tell me he's lying."

"It's true sir. They gather up and watch the ladies run like it's a sporting event," Alfred explained.

"Bullshit! I want proof!"

"Tomorrow morning, Robinson Park, 7:30 am. Be there," Bruce told him.

"I will."

Dick watched in wide eyed shock as the quartet or girls ran by them and then slowly back tracked over.

"It's bad enough you're joining this clan but you have to drag Dick and poor innocent Tim into this too," Harley scolded patting Tim's head.

"I'm not joining anything. Dick didn't believe me and Tim caught us on the way out the door," Bruce explained.

"Right," Selina said not hiding her disbelief.

"It's true!"

"This is great," Dick laughed.

"Shut up," Selina snapped. "And go home to your girlfriend."

"Why is it sexier to watch them run in workout clothes in the park than in their tight little costumes across rooftops?" Dick asked in the car on the way back to Wayne Manor.

"They're not trying to kill us?" Tim offered.

"Maybe. But the next time I run into Harley Quinn or Poison Ivy as Nightwing it's going to be interesting."

"What about Catwoman?"

"Well, I don't really run into her much. Usually Batman is on that and she hasn't been active as of late anyway."

Bruce kept both hand on the wheel and grunted.

"Have you seen her lately?"

"No," he replied quickly.

"Have you talked to Selina since…"

"No."

"Are you…"

"When are you going to really apologize to Barbara? It's been over a month."

"I'm quiet."

"Good."

Ivy slipped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her hair and another around her body. Selina and Harley had decided after their run a healthy breakfast was in order and jogged to a little smoothie café a couple blocks over. Harvey went out for eggs and bacon with the men leaving Ivy all alone at home. It was nice. She sauntered out to the living room, cranked on the stereo, and pulled a cd labeled VB out of a little white envelope hidden behind the DVD player. She danced and twirled down the hallway back to the bedroom to the sound of Victoria Beckham's voice.

"I'm not such an innocent girl," she sang as loud as the stereo into her hair brush while mimicking the dance moves from the music video in the mirror. "If you touch, me I won't break. Don't think of me that way." She dropped the towel that had been clinging to her body.

"Nice tramp stamp," Selina teased from the doorway. Harley was next to her, biting her hand to keep from laughing.

Ivy screamed and scrambled to pick her towel back up and cover herself.

"Is that a rose?" Selina went on.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ivy cried.

"We live here. What the hell are you doing dancing around naked?"

Here Harley couldn't contain herself anymore and burst out into full blown hysterical laughter.

"I was just…I was…you see…don't tell Harvey."

"I don't want to ever relive this moment."

"What is this music?" Harley asked.

"It's Victoria Beckham," Ivy snapped, still trying to cover herself up with her towel.

"Posh Spice Victoria Beckham?"

"Yes! Now can I please put some clothes on?"

Selina, Harley, and Ivy all sat at the kitchen table. Ivy was avoiding direct eye contact, Selina was staring her down, and Harley was giggling like she had a face full of Joker's laughing gas.

"Let's talk about it," Selina announced.

"Look, I thought I was alone. I was feeling good after the run and the shower. I danced. My towel fell. The end."

Harley erupted into a hysterical fit again.

"We're going to have to drop her off at Arkham if we can't calm her down."

"Now, about this tramp stamp," Selina continued.

Ivy lightly touched her back. "I was young, in college, and drunk. End of story."

"You have a tramp stamp!" Harley howled.

"You have an asshole's name on your neck. Don't judge!"

"Does Harvey like your tramp stamp?" Selina snickered.

Ivy got up from the table and poured herself a glass of water from the sink.

"Wait, how has Harvey not seen your tramp stamp?"

Ivy remained silent.

"Look, I know for a fact you two, three, whatever, get it on. I can hear it. How has he not seen it?"

"We just aren't in positions where he'd get a good look at it alright?" Ivy hissed.

Selina and Harley were both mid laughing fit now.

"Go to hell. Both of you."

"Ok, we'll be nice," Harley promised.

"So what's the deal with Becks?" Selina asked.

"I like Victoria Beckham."

"Are you a Spice Girls fan too?"

"They had catchy music, nice clothes, and promoted girl power. You're damn right I was a fan."

"I liked Baby Spice," Harley chimed in.

"You would."

"That one video, in the desert where they were all in black and she was Kung-Fu Candy!" Harley stood up and judo kicked the chair.

"That's enough of that!" Ivy barked.

"Yeah, calm down killer," Selina agreed.

"Sorry."

"Hello girls," Harvey called as he walked in the door.

"Not a word!" Ivy warned pulling a seed out of her cleavage.

Harley and Selina both held up their hands in surrender. No one wanted to relive Vegas. Except maybe William Shatner.

"Johnny Depp is so hot," Alice drooled.

Jervis rolled his eyes.

"Perfect Mad Hatter."

He jumped up from the couch, outraged, knocking her legs off him and sending poor Alice to the floor.

"Ouch! Hey! Baby on board!" she cried.

"Perfect Mad Hatter indeed!"

"Oh honey! I meant movie Mad Hatter. You're the living embodiment of the book. You don't pretend to be Mad Hatter, you are Mad Hatter." Alice wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and nuzzled her nose in his neck.

Jervis softened a little but still sported his offended face. "Hmph."

"And he may be hot but you're total package sexy. From your looks to your brains."

"My ego needs a little more stroking."

Alice smiled and pulled him back to the couch. "Well, let's see if I can't get your ego satisfied."

5 Minutes Later….

"Are you watching Johnny Depp?" Jervis hollered after he noticed Alice's eyes drifting to the TV more than once.

"What? No!" she replied nervously.

"You…you…you! Argh!" He scrambled to his feet, pointed at her furiously, tried to find the words to express his fury but finding none, he stormed off to the bedroom and locked himself in.

Alice immediately followed him and called through the door, "I'm pregnant! I'm just having weird fantasies like I have weird food cravings! Please don't be mad."

Jervis just made some growling grunting noises.

"I wuv you."

High pitched hissing like a teapot.

"You didn't see me throwing a bitch fit when you took off at the butt crack of dawn to go watch my sister and supermodel super villainesses go running!"

Snort.

"Especially since I wasn't even invited. I know I don't run but it would've been nice. And how do you think it makes me feel knowing you're seeing all these jiggling bits bouncing around on those amazons while I'm sitting at home with the body of a 12 year old boy and a little gut?" Alice was becoming angrier. Mood swings had become the norm in their house even though she was only three months along.

Jervis unlocked the door and poked his head out. Somehow he lost the upper hand here. "You're beautiful."

Jonathan inhaled the fresh scent of the pillow under his face. Clean, soft, warm sheets. His favorite thing about being out of Arkham. Well, that and Sage who was the one cleaning the sheets now. A lazy Sunday afternoon nap was exactly what he had needed.

High pitched screaming that put Jervis to shame echoed through the apartment. He jumped out of bed, fear toxin producing skull in hand, and leapt into the living room, ready to attack. When he saw no one occupying the main room he made his way into the kitchen where Sage was perched on the counter, clinging to a cupboard, shaking.

"What's wrong?" Johnny asked, setting the skull down on the counter next to her, relieved with just a hint of disappointment that he didn't have to use it.

Sage pointed a shaky finger the opposite corner of the kitchen.

Figuring he wouldn't get more information than that, he stalked over to the offensive corner and found a large daddy long leg spider. He smiled. "It's completely harmless you know."

"I don't care! Get rid of it!" Sage cried hysterically.

Johnny grabbed the fly swatter off the top of the refrigerator and smashed the unsuspecting arachnid. He then scooped it up with a paper towel and tossed it in the trash. "All gone."

Sage slowly draped her legs over the edge of the counter but remained sitting on it. "Thank you."

"Reminds me of the day we met."

She smiled as she remembered her third day at Arkham Asylum, the day she first met Jonathan. Arkham was an old building, infested with all kinds of vermin and parasites. Usually they lurked in the lower levels, prisoner cells but sometimes they crept up to the offices. Sage was still arranging her office. Today's mission, the bookshelf. She pulled An Anatomy of Addiction by Sigmund Freud off the shelf and a large, brown spider appeared in its place. She had shrieked in surprise and horror and jumped from the bookshelf to the couch clear across the room. At this moment, the secretary who was supposed to be minding Mr. Crane was deep in a conversation on the phone and hadn't heard the muffled terrified screams of the new doctor. Jonathan had. He got up from the waiting room couch, crossed the lobby, and opened Dr. Monroe's door. He was stunned when he saw her standing on her couch, hand clapped over her mouth, her other hand clutching her chest, tears running down her face, both by the peculiarity of the situation and her beauty. "Are you quite alright doctor?" he asked.

She removed the hand from her chest and fanned herself while she shook her head.

Not wanting to get blamed for the state she was in, Jonathan closed the door and stepped further into her office. He noticed her gaze was transfixed on the small bookcase on the other side of the room. He crossed the room and examined the wooden structure. After a second he noticed the large brown spider observing him. "I'm guessing the walnut sized friend here is the problem." He tipped one of the books over and it fell right on top of the furry little beast, killing it. He then scraped the gooey carcass off in the garbage. "Problem solved my dear."

Sage remained standing on the couch. Silent.

"It really isn't all that bad. Harmless thing really. It just looks scary because of its size but I assure you, it will cause you no harm."

She eased down a little until she was crouching on the couch, eyes still wide with fear.

"I don't believe we have met, I am Jonathan Crane." He walked back over to her and extended his hand.

The sudden appearance of his hand snapped her out of her trance. She looked up and saw him for the first time. "Doctor Monroe," she replied taking his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you." Johnny smiled.

"You too."

"We really must do something about your arachnophobia," Jonathan sighed bringing his attention back to the kitchen.

"Why? I have you to kill all these spiders for me," she teased.

"What happens when I'm not here?"

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm in Arkham."

"I guess I'll just have to go with you."

"You don't want to see the spiders that linger in those cells."

Sage shuddered.

"Tell me when your arachnophobia started," Jonathan said as casually as he could.

"Nice try Dr. Crane." She hopped down off the counter and kissed his nose. "And you better watch how you handle that fear toxin. If you let it loose in this apartment I may confuse you with a spider and squish you."

"And it turned! Just like that!" Jervis snapped his fingers to emphasize his point. "I don't think I can keep this up. One minute she's stripping me with her teeth, the next she's crying, and just as quickly as that one swept in it's gone and her new mood is kill all the men!"

"Scarlet!" Holly called. "You're officially on bar tonight. I never needed the image of my baby sister stripping a man with her teeth in my head."

Eddie nodded sympathetically. "But you'll leave me here with him."

"Your friend."

"I want a new friend. One that isn't a mess."

"Good luck in this bar."

Scarlet handed her tray off to Holly and took her spot behind the bar. "Refill?"

"Yes," Jervis and Eddie replied in unison handing off their drinks.

"And lately she's just been crazy horny," Jervis went on.

"Ozzie likes it when I wear his top hat and a pair of black stilettos during sex," Scarlet shot back.

"For the love of…Gack!" Eddie jumped up and grabbed his drink. "Good day." He strolled out into the main room and scanned the crowd for someone to sit with. His only two options were Victor Fries and Joker. "Great. Mr. Happy or Mr. Happy?" He slowly made his way over to Victor's table, deciding it would be safer. "Haven't seen you around in awhile."

"I've been working," Victor replied plainly motioning toward the empty chair across from him.

"Anything good?"

"Nothing promising yet."

"Kept up with all the goings on here?"

"Yes. I too have been included in the Tipster circle."

"I didn't think you the type to own a cell phone."

"I like to keep my business private."

"Hence why she hasn't gossiped about you but what is there really to say?"

"Exactly. Keep to your work and you won't have any problems." Victor glanced over at Holly who gave a smile and a wink in his and Eddie's direction. "But I suppose for love, a little gossip is worth it."

Eddie smiled. "It is."

"I was most pleased that the business with Miss Quinn did not progress."

"Oh?"

"Yes, the state the Joker was in was most disturbing. I didn't want to know what would have happened had you married her."

"You and me both."

"She is a rather interesting girl. She sends me cards."

"Cards?"

"Greeting cards. Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Sweetest Day, etcetera."

"Why on Earth does she do that?"

"A question better suited for the staff at Arkham."

"The usual answer to a query about Quinn."

"Perhaps she is trying to include me in our world."

"Or she just wants to melt your heart."

Something close to a smile flashed across Victor's face. "An odd girl indeed."

"Oh shit."

Victor turned to see Joker coming toward their table. "The reason I avoid this hole."

"Vic! Good to see you!" Joker greeted clapping him on the back.

"I can honestly say the feeling is not mutual."

"Zing!" Eddie joked.

Both Victor and Joker gave him a sideways look.

"Asses, the both of you," Eddie concluded standing up and venturing to an empty table and was more than a little startled when he looked up and saw the homicidal clown taking the seat across from him. "If you kill me there are witnesses and Oswald will surely be displeased with the blood splatter."

"Calm down, I just want to talk," Joker assured him.

"I can't imagine what about."

"Harley."

"One of our two common denominators. Of course."

"What's the other one?"

Eddie raised an eyebrow, sure the Joker was in fact joking but when his signature grin did not expand into a larger smile, he sighed and replied, "Batman of course."

"Oh…right."

"You're slipping there old chum."

"Old age. It's getting to me."

"You know what they say, the mind is always the first to go."

Joker snapped his attention back to Eddie and off the doorway where he was sure he had heard his blonde heart's delight. "I'm sorry what?"

"Then the hearing," he quipped.

"Geeze, you and Freeze getting me in one night, not fair."

"Can we get on with the original conversation? I'm worried if I talk to you too long alone the Tipster might start the rumor we're an item."

"I'm a giver, not a receiver."

Eddie shuddered. "That image can be saved for my next Arkham visit."

"It was a joke."

"I missed the humor in it."

"You miss the humor in everything."

"Only because there is no humor to be found in you."

"I'm hi-fucking-larious. You're just a dud."

"We are digressing again."

Joker cracked his knuckles and put on a more serious face. "Have you spoken to her?"

"Other than the morning runs, I haven't even seen her. Trying to keep my distance since the whole Vegas episode."

"Girlfriend still raw about it?"

"No, thankfully, but I don't want to risk opening old wounds."

Joker nodded. "She built a wall up. Blocked my number, screens the calls so I can't use another phone. I even tried waiting for her to leave but she sneaks passed me somehow."

"Maybe you should take the hint."

"You all keep saying that but none of you get it."

"Quite the contrary, we get it. You're insane."

Joker rolled his eyes.

"This is just a case of wanting what you can't have."

"I can have her."

"Obviously not."

"She still loves me."

Eddie pinched the bridge of his nose. It was like talking to a four year old, always talking in circles. "What do you want me to say Joker? Please just tell me."

Joker got up from the table. "I don't know. Nothing I guess." He bolted for the door.

"Is he still a sad mess?" Holly asked sidling up next to the table.

"Yes."

"Poor guy."

"Poor guy?"

"Yeah, poor guy. To want to be with someone so much and not being able to. I know that feeling and it's the worst." She placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Happy I'm not in that place anymore." She went to wait on another table.

Eddie got up and started for the door. "I hate when you manipulate me!" he yelled as he walked out.

Holly smiled and went on working.

Luckily, in his melancholy state, Joker favored walking over cabs so it wasn't hard to track him down. After a quick jog Eddie caught up with him. "I was being unsympathetic. I've been where you are and while I don't believe you would offer me any help had you known my situation, I'm not a complete sociopath."

"I was trying to help you by getting Harley back."

"Right. Let's not dwell on the past. Just tell me what you want me to do."

"Talk to her."

Eddie sighed. "That's a tough favor Jack."

"Then talk to Selina or even that green loving harpy."

"And?"

"See what she's been saying."

"Should we pass notes too? Do you like Joker? Yes, no, maybe?"

Joker stopped walking and a couple steps later Eddie stopped and turned to face him. "Forget it. I regret even bringing this up."

"Oh come on Joker, after all the crap you dish out you can't take any?" Eddie teased.

Joker pushed passed him and quickly walked away.

"Ivy won't tell me anything but Selina might."

Joker slowed his pace.

"But you can talk to Selina yourself so I'll just go straight to Harley."

Joker stopped altogether.

"You owe me though."

"What exactly do you want?"

"I want you to never let her go again because I'm not doing this twice."