A/N: To ring in the New Year I figured I'd post something new for everyone out there who still reads Kandy stories! So this is another one of my poetic pieces, I wrote it as a prose poem for my creative writing class as I did with Temptation. However, the difference with this piece is that I did genuinely try to buff it up a bit, to give all of you a little more so I hope I succeeded. Yes, it is quite short only about 890words which seems so very minimal compared to the chapters I crank out for Today Was a Fairytale, but nonetheless I hope you enjoy it. Also as a forewarning it is rather angsty but I couldn't help it. Also a little side note to those who don't know what Prose Poems are, well basically all a Prose poem is, is capturing a moment and getting the reader inside the head of the speaker of the poem. Having said that I hope this piece does just that for all of you who choose to read this little piece! Enjoy...and p.s. reviews honestly make my life as well as keep me writing( :
Shattered
The reception is a blur of faceless nobodys dressed in various shades of black mumbling useless apologizes as they pass. How did we get here? Your comfort only suffocates me
under its tight grasp. I can't breathe; you take too much of me. The disapproving stares you shoot my way as I knock them back haunt me. As if you have the right to judge me
for the way I'm handling the situation. I push you away. Glass shatters. My words sling daggers at you. Feelings that have been simmering under the surface for too long spill
out in this solitary moment. Overwhelming on-lookers who begin a circulation of whispers that barely register through my foggy brain. This charade we've been sleep walking
through between the fake smiles and vacant stares is unraveling. You've been replaced by this crystal clear liquid that is deceptively innocent, yet with each glass my body
temperature rises, my mind clouds, bringing with it a numbness I've grown to appreciate. The fiery sensation that trails down my throat leaves me mesmerized, hypnotized.
Heightening the jagged edges that we probe¾ afraid to penetrate the deep haze I've fallen victim to. Stumbling from my reign of grace. The shards of glass scattered
everywhere glisten in the yard light. A symbol of what my life is becoming. Knife like pieces tempt me to come and take a closer look. The reflection that glares back at me
mocks me wickedly in laughter that falls on deaf ears. I'm fading in and out. Stumbling down the stairs Jimmy is there to catch me, because I rejected your comfort. Somehow
they got me to our bedroom, our former sanctuary. Julie is busing herself around our room searching for something. My eyes lazily trail to my bedside table meeting the picture
of us taken at Lindsay's adoption party. Slowly my fingers trace our faces in the picture. We both look seemingly happy, perfect together. But in this captured moment I was livid
at you but still we were able to pose like the happy loving couple we used to be. That's when it strikes me with a sharp searing pain, were we always pretending? Losing
ourselves in a charade that neither of us could escape. We brushed our problems under the rug and put on an act for the rest of the world, and what a great show it's been.
But the curtian is crashing down on us now, the music begins to swell, and the scene is drawn to this dramatic end. This is the part where you follow after me disgusted at my
current performance isn't it? No. You would never look at me in that way. Come after me, yes you always seem to, but even if you did...I'd push you away again. It does seem
to be what I'm best at as of recently. In actuality though, this is the part where I'd be the first to admit most of this is my fault. I am the guilty party the one who created this
colossal mess we're in. This dizzing wirlwind that we were plunged into one year ago. The boys leaving us for the summer. A summer that was filled with mindless remodels,
bitter words, and long hours at work. Even then it was me, I pushed you away. Blamed you for things that could never be your fault, because none of it was in your contorl.
Apparently it was easier that way, but it wasn't really because it tore a rift between us. One we've tried our best to patch up but maybe we're just not strong enough. Maybe
we're just not meant to be together. What the hell am I saying? Of course we're meant to be together. It'll always be us against the world. Damnit. This thinking is too much.
It's making me dizzy. Usually once I put on this liquid amour my mind goes numb ceasing any former thoughts in their place, but somehow after seeing that picture of us
mymind begins to run wild having a life of it's own. The jumbled thoughts are short-lived as I can no longer feel my own two feet, the world spins past all too fast. It's time to
lay down my armor, and free fall into this black hole.