A/N: Apparently, I have too much time in my hands and a very active imagination. But it's like this, I was watching CM Punk's DVD and in an interview, Lita mentioned that she first meet Punk while training around 1999. I immediately started thinking that it was interesting that she meet him before she meet Hardy and I also started thinking back on an old interview where Punk stated that he liked the movie Definitely Maybe because it was much like his love life (minus the kid thing, I guess). So putting the two together, I came with this idea and I just had to write it! I'm playing here with dates and actual facts, but it's just a story, right? Anyway, hope you enjoy.
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If it wasn't because she was too much of a cynic to believe in love, Amy would have gone ahead a long time ago and admit to herself that she was in love with him.
Any other person would have acknowledged it already; they would have recognized that strange feeling that made her stomach become a knot whenever he was near for what it really was and they would have definitely taken the hint in the fact that the memory of him was constantly in her mind.
It had always been like that when it came to him; ever since the first time she met him twelve years ago he has been able to turn her world upside down and if there was someone, anyone capable of rattling the foundations of her skepticism, it was him.
True, when they first met, things remained platonic between them; they were just two kids trying to learn their craft in the ring and their relationship didn't get pass a very good friendship. Yes, they clicked almost immediately and there was an undeniable attraction brewing from both parts; but at the time he had a girlfriend and she wasn't looking to hook up with anyone.
But even though nothing physical ever happened back then, she was never able to completely erase him from her mind. Sometimes he faded or hid in the back of her head, but when she would be last expecting it, the memory of him would resurface and she would start wondering what would have happened if they had given things a try.
It wasn't until a whole decade passed by that she was able to answer that question, because that's the amount of time that passed by so that the two of them could meet again and hook up for real.
It has been something unplanned and spontaneous, they ran into each other at a concert, things started flowing and before she knew it they were dating. As it turned out, the attraction she felt for a twenty year old CM Punk was nothing compared to the things she started feeling for the man he become much later… and that's when things started to get bad.
Now, as cliché as it sounded, Amy couldn't remember ever being as happy as she has been during the eight months they were together; but at the same time, it was during those months that she lost herself.
To that day she still didn't know how to put it into words, she just knew that she let him take reigns over her feelings and that was something that she didn't do. She could give him anything else he wanted, but not that.
Back to that time, Amy wasn't even aware that he has become master and conqueror of her heart, at least not until one night after he came back from the road and after falling in bed with her he said the ominous three words, the ones she was so afraid of.
He just said it as if it was the most natural thing in the world and what was worse, he said right in the middle of having sex. That has been a total passion killer for her and in the aftershock she just lay there, eyes fixed in the ceiling, her body trapped between him and the mattress and her mind racing a thousand miles per second until he eventually reached his climax and fell asleep.
Confused and more than a little upset that he ruined what they had by saying those words, Amy did what she did best, she ran away. She waited until he was fully asleep and then in the cover of the night she gathered her things and left.
All that happened more than a year ago. Twelve months have gone by since she out of the blue broke things between them but as it turned out, things hadn't changed much. He could still provoke a torrent of unknown feelings to wash over her and she still reacted the same way, by running away.
Quickening her steps and hoping the exit door could magically appear out of nowhere, former WWE Diva known as Lita ran her fingers through her hair and clenched her jaw until it hurt. It was ridiculous that she was running from him once again, she was very aware of that, but after spotting his former flame in the backstage area of a concert she was attending that night, she had no other choice but to flee.
Has he seen her? She was almost positive that he did and that's why she was making such an exit.
After the night she left, they hadn't spoken; yeah he called and texted and tried to reach her via different methods, but in her haste of running away from him she ended up taking a flight to Nicaragua and for the good part of last year, she made the Central American Country her home.
Meaning? She made herself unavailable for him and that night was actually the first time she saw him after their affair ended.
Now, if it wasn't because of her skepticism, she would believe that life was coming in full circle and that faith was the one that brought them together, after all what were the chances of the two of them attending the same concert again? But no, she didn't believe in faith or destiny and the only thing she could think was that life was such a bitch, always putting her in situations she would rather avoid.
"I always wondered that if the moment ever came, if the first thing you were going to show me was your back while running away. I had a feeling that yes, that would be the case but I don't know… I'm kind of disappointed that I was right."
At the sound of that familiar voice, Amy stopped dead in her tracks and smiled a biter smile. "Punk." She said while turning around, hoping that he would take on the hint that she wasn't calling him by his given name.
"Amy." He said in a voice that was anything but amicable and with the full intensity of his eyes fixed entirely on her until she started to feel uncomfortable. "I see you got spew out of the whole you were hiding in. And it just took you a year, how rad is that?"
Chewing on her bottom lip, Amy just closed her eyes momentarily and swallowed hard down. Yes, she hadn't expected him to be entirely courteous with her, but it still stung in places she didn't want to acknowledge that they had turned into this.
It was her fault, she was aware of that, but the thing was that what was done was done and the only thing they could do was move on and keep living their lives.
She knew for sure that he did, so why shouldn't she do the same?
Opening her eyes and tilting her head up, the former Diva shrugged. She has never been a woman who would shy away while facing adversity so she played the best card she had in hand, indifference.
"What can I say? It's been a busy year."
"I bet it has. So tell me-" He said somberly while taking a few steps towards her and Amy just knew that he was going straight for the jugular. That was his style and if he hadn't changed, he was going to make the situation very uncomfortable. "Can you explain to me why the fuck did you left in the middle of the night without even saying a word?"
Ah, not so bad as she was expecting. Sure, she still didn't feel ready to talk motives with him but this wasn't as bad as she knew it could be.
"Punk, just let it go. It's been a year and-"
Before she could finish talking, the Chicago Native took a step closer to her and chuckled. The sound was very familiar to her, it was the kind of thing he would do when he found something to be extremely ridiculous.
"Let it go you say?" He chuckled again, his hand lifting up so that he could run the ball of his thump down the ridge of his nose. "You disappeared for a whole year and you want me to let it go?"
Taking notice on the way his olive green eyes were blazing, Amy shook her head. "You knew where I was so don't make it sound like you thought I was dead." After all she has made it known around their mutual circle of friends that she was in Nicaragua, alive and very well. "Besides you clearly move on shortly after I left so don't try to act but hurt now. How's Beth by the way?"
Yes, even though she was the one that left, she tried to keep track on him and she remembered how it hurt her to know that he started dating another woman so soon after she was gone. It didn't take him two months to get over her and in a weird way she felt hurt and betrayed.
But that was the main reason she ran away, because having feelings for another person was to be weak and Phil was making her that, weak.
Opening his mouth and then closing it shut again, Punk snorted while moving his hand to his hair. "She's fine."
"Great." She replied, the words coming out as forced and beaten into submission. "Well, she's good, you are good and I am good. We are all good so let's just-"
Punk interrupted her once again but this time he did it by reaching for her head and pulling it towards him. The motion wasn't the most gentle but she still made no protest, and when his mouth pressed harshly against hers she just melted into the kiss and handed him the reins of her feelings once again.
Maybe he always had them, maybe she never truly moved on, she wasn't sure… the only thing that she knew was that when Punk kissed her right there in the middle of that corridor, she had no choice but to kiss him back.
The feeling of his tongue moving against hers still had the potency of clouding all rational thought and his taste was so familiar that she suddenly didn't know how she has managed to live without it; it was as if everything was clicking back into place… as if the last year has been nothing but a bad dream and things between them were perfectly fine.
Or at least that was the silly thought running through her mind the moment he pulled away.
"I searched for you everywhere." He hissed, not quite pulling away from her so that his breath was a hot caress against her lips. His hands were still on her too, holding the back of her head so that he could tilt her face towards him. "I was going out of my mind and you didn't give a fuck."
Sensing the anger and frustration in his voice but choosing to ignore it, Amy snorted. "Were you looking for me in Beth's bed, because if I'm not mistaken that's where you ended."
And God, how she hated that woman! While she was dating Punk she always had the impression that the so called Glamazon wanted more from Punk than a friendship and she never eased off to her.
She could see what was in the other woman's eyes and she could read perfectly fine what she felt towards her; it wasn't even jealousy, it was pure hatred and she always wondered if Punk could see through her as she did.
That has been a year ago, and as things progressed, Beth got what she wanted, Punk.
"Or maybe where you just decide to become public after I left, what do I know."
"No, no… don't even try to pull that out of your sleeve, Amy; you know perfectly fine that I loved you and nobody else."
Love, that word again. It made her cringe and she tried to pull away from him. Was she going to run? She wasn't sure, but all of a sudden having him so close was unbearable. "Get your hands off; I don't want to make a scene here." She ended up saying when he wouldn't let her go.
"So you can end up running again? No, I want to fucking know why you left. I think I deserve at least that." He hissed, his fingers burying into her hair as his forehead pressed hard against hers.
Shaking her head, Amy closed her eyes shut. This was a conversation she didn't want to have; not in that moment and not ever. She wasn't ready… maybe she never would be ready.
"Tell me."
"Don't do this." She mumbled, feeling too weak. Where was the strong Amy everyone knew her to be? Why did she always succumb for him?
"Was it because of somebody else?" He asked, his voice almost cracking and his fingers tightening.
"No." She said at once, her eyes opening so that they could get lost in his intense stare. In that moment, she felt as if the whole world didn't exist, as if they were the only ones left. "It wasn't that."
"Then why?" He asked in frustration and Amy felt something tugging at her heart. Was it love? No, she didn't believe in love… but that she didn't believe in it didn't mean that she was incapable of feeling it.
"I…" Shaking her head, she took in a deep breath and rested her hands against his chest. "I was afraid."
Yeah… as soon as she heard the words love she freaked out and ran away without looking back. Sure, it wasn't the first time a man told her the words, but because it was the first time she felt something for the man mumbling the words she didn't know what to do.
It was a stupid move since getting away didn't stop her from having those feelings for him, but it was the only thing she knew how to do. Run.
"I was afraid of the way I felt for you and I didn't know what else to do. All I knew was that I didn't want to feel like that so I tried to make the feelings go away by leaving you."
Pushing the ring that adorned his lips with the tip of his tongue, Punk blinked his eyes slowly as he looked down on her. "Did it work?"
Blinking rapidly, Amy shook her head.
Punk smiled, but his smile wasn't one born out of happiness. It was a bitter smile, one that made her heart stop for a second. "Rad, now you'll feel how it is to love someone and have them turn their back on you."
With that said, Punk took a few steps back and then he turned around and started walking away. Amy just watched him, her eyes stinging and her lips trembling.
If it wasn't because she didn't believe in such things, she would think that her heart just broke into a million pieces…
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And this my friends, is the end… for now. I meant to have a happy ending but I couldn't picture Punk forgiving her so easily. Maybe I'll add a second chapter, after all in real life Punk is back with her and I wanted to make this like my version of how they ended up together for good.